Bite my Clit!!
Bite My Clit!!

The Queen of Wrestling

Laura

Record

Achievments

People Used

People Mentioned

RP #

2-0-0

Won gold medals in Sydney Olympics, track star at her university, possible Featherweight Champion

Laura

T. Jay, Xander Sterling

God only knows

(The scene fades in and we find that we're in Philadelphia, site of the next Money Matters pay-per-view! In fact, we're at 3601 S. Broad Street in Philly, or for those who aren't well-informed, that would be the First Union Complex. What's the First Union Complex? Why, it's where the Money Matters event is going to occur, at the First Union Center specifically. However, we are not at the Center portion of the Complex, instead we are in front of the First Union Spectrum. Right in our view stands a nine-foot tall, 21-year-old, bronzed statue. Of what? Why, this IS Philly, so it should sort of logical that this would be of Sylvester Stallone's character of Rocky Balboa. Yes, fans, that statue from Rocky III stands now in front of the First Union Spectrum, nearby to the Center. Anyways, with panning out we see a multitude of bodyguards as this portion of Philly isn't too safe. Actually, with some thought, NO part of Philly safe! Anyways, with more panning out, we see a female standing, looking at the statue. Her brown hair is in a ponytail and she is wearing blue jeans, a plain blue shirt that really doesn't reveal anything, a gold bracelet on her left wrist and blue Nike hightops on her feet. The camera angle changes so we now see her face. She looks rather disinterested with the statue and is also sporting some swelling in her jaw from the previous night's incident in Pittsburgh.)

Laura: Someone is actually trying to auction off two of these things for five million bucks? Get bent! This is disturbingly u-g-l-y. Philadelphia really sucks. This statue is sh*t. The food here is sh*t. Only really relevant thing about this city is that it's got so much American history behind it. It's a shame so much had to happen here though. Why not in Delaware or in New Hampshire? No, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. That's sickening.

(Laura stops looking at the statue and looks yonder towards the F.U. Center.)

Laura: There's more history to be made here Sunday. I just wish it wouldn't be here, but that's fate I guess. Maybe it's okay though. After all, Xander Sterling isn't the greatest man alive. He's kind of like Ben Franklin. Everyone thinks he's wonderful, but you get to the nitty-gritty and it's revealed that he's nothing more than a lowly manwhore. Sure Ben Franklin was great but he left his wife 10 years before she died, NEVER saw her after he left, and skipped off to France to have sex with the women over there! An American hero? I thumb my nose to Mr. Benjamin Franklin. While I thumb my nose to him, I spit on Xander Sterling. Here's a guy who just won't quit. He starts hitting his stride, gets some pretty good points made, then puts his foot in his mouth by trying to talk me down. Xander, you need to shut up. First off, can't you go anywhere alone? Do you ALWAYS need that little scrotum-kisser in Genius with you? I'm not trying to imply anything, I'm just wondering why he's with you every waking mooment. That aside, you are about as smart and adult as piece of used art clay. You are so easy to mold and shape it's priceless. I want you upset, you get upset. Tiffany Storm wants you horny, you get horny. You have no mind for yourself. That's why you go so low as to rename that title belt you've got. Now, why am I going after it? For all the reasons I said. Plus, to be honest, I want as much T.V. time as I can get while being a champion of some sort. Sure it might mean starting with a "lighter" title, but that's fine. I'd rather be a Featherweight Champion than no champion at all. I would have been peachy winning only a bronze in Sydney in 2000, but, darn the bad luck (snaps her fingers in sarcasm), I was too good and won the gold. So you've done some stunt work for the movies. Big deal. You're strong and enjoy taking long falls and getting punked. GOOD! FINE! GREAT! GO AHEAD! SEE IF I CARE!! You're nothing more than a little toenail. Brains and heart are what control a person, lead him/her to his/her intentions, get him/her to his/her goals, they basically act as an engine in an automobile. That's the equivalent of me. I lead you around like dog leads around a blind man. I control what you hear like a Beltone controls what a deaf man hears. Then there's you, the toenail. A small, needless part on an otherwise powerful body. You only hurt when split because you want attention. If you cause trouble, you are removed and nothing serious occurs. People can live without a little toenail. NEW can live without you around. You left for three months for theme music? That was it, right? That's pathetic. Leaving for an injury, okay. Leaving because you knew you sucked and needed more training, that's understandable. Leaving to work on a tune? Depressing. You think you're so important as to work with a celebrity on your song? Just close your eyes and pick a song from a hat. That's what I've always done. If you think theme music is going to psych somebody out, go back to the 1950's. Music doesn't scare anyone, it's just there to help get the crowd going because the fans are too stupid to excite themselves by seeing us in action. See, at least you come on T.V. and do more than T. Jay. All we get out of him is "Hi, I'm T. Jay." At least froom you "X" we get "Hi, I'm Xander. I'm going to win." It's just too bad too much sponsor money is put into your interviews. You see, I don't know if you know how business works Xander, so I'll let you in on this. We are able to get on the air because NEW purchases television time for us. It gets it's money from advertising companies that pay us to advertise their products either on or at some point during our shows and interviews. The more people they realize watch NEW, the more money that is given up because the owners of these companies know their product will receive more exposure. Now, I can tell you this much; those presidents and company suits, they are pulling for me to win. They know that if I, Laura, win, more people will watch entire episodes of "Bloodzone" and not just the main events. These investors in NEW television are just praying I pull out the victory for the Featherweight Title, that way, they'll get equal exposure at any given point during "Bloodzone" as they would during the main event, or last 15 minutes of the show. And because I could show up at any moment the prices will be high for advertising spots since demand will be high for each segment, thus allowing this federation to take in more money and be able to promote itself more than it is currently able to. Just think, you can get MORE money by, ironically, LOSING your title on Sunday to myself. Strange how the economy works, isn't it? Shut up, deal with the fact you're against an American Olympian, therefore someone better than you could ever be even if you took enough steroids to turn into The Hulk. I'd advise that you eat a diet of Pringles, pepperoni and other sodium-packed goodies because you'll certainly be in better shape after a month of that than you will after 10 minutes with me in the ring. It's like you have an open leak in your head "X" because while you do take in what I have to say, and that's great, it only stays there for a day. Then it's almost as if you eat a whole gallon of Baskin Robbin's ice cream and allow what I said to be soaked up and carted right out of you when you take a dump. Don't you understand little boy? You may be able to run your mouth, and sure you can wrestle, but what good is that going to do when I pin you? You surpass stupidity Xander. You're even stupider than Rocky Balboa's brother. Who is Rocky Balboa's brother? Yup---you guessed it---Frank Stallone.

(Laura begins to back away from the F.U. Spectrum now and begins walking around the complex, this process of course taking moments as it's quite a big plot of land.)

Laura: The funny thing is, there's a third person in this match. It's like he dropped off the face of the Earth. Not that losing T. Jay would be a bad thing, I just wonder if he's realized all the pressure that would otherwise be on him isn't worth it, so he quit. I seriously think T. Jay should rather, instead of fighting, order the pay-per-view at his own home and stock up on supplies and have his ass a serious sandwich. Like seven meats and three cheeses worth of submarine goodness. He may as well feed his face like that because by sticking around here and showing up for "Money Matters," the only submarine sandwich he's going to get is one that's been pre-liquified as he sits in his room at the local Mt. Sinai. Let me just say this much, if T. Jay is supposed to be a real, intimidating threat towards myself, then I am a part of the biggest practical joke this side of the Iran-Contra affair. He's like one of those web-sites that promotes porn, but you get to it and it's only pop-up ads and something about politics. All hype, no content. Hype means a lot in this business but in order to succeed, you need to have content too. I have content. Xander has more content than you, that's why he won last week against "Teej." T. Jay has as much content as my toenail polish has, let me say that. There's only one thing I can suggest to you two idiots and that's trying to see if you guys can stick your own d*cks in your own buttholes. There's actually a chance of that occurring as opposed to you one of you guys beating me. You two can think whatever you want of me, that's fine, but remember this much; Laura was the one that beat you, caused you to finally think straight and set you on a road to success in life. Granted that success won't be in wrestling, but hey, thank me for your career change. Hey, if you didn't have to face me, you would be doomed to stinking up rings for the rest of your lives. As for the last couple of days in your careers, stop p*ssing me off and do something worthwhile, like check the classifieds.

BITE MY CLIT!!

(Scene fades)
Laura
..::Disclaimer::..
This layout is done by Dominique L. and Tiffany S. for the e-wrestler Laura. We are not affiliated with Jessica Alba or Fox networks, so please no lawsuits--LOL. Do not steal this layout because it is not yours so get your own. If you find the contents in this rp offensive then i suggest you take your mouse and point that little arrow to the "X" in the upper right hand corner and click it..then BITE MY CLIT!!
..::End Disclaimer::..
Beauty Brains Power!

Brains, Beauty and a BITCH!!!