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Record |
Achievments |
People Used |
People Mentioned |
RP # |
0-0-0 | Won gold medals in Sydney Olympics, track star at her university, possible Featherweight Champion | Laura, Timmy Cornette |
T. Jay, Xander Sterling, Tiffany Storm |
One/1 |
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Timmy Cornette: Welcome everyone! I'm Timmy Cornette here in Minnesota for NEW television! I'm joined today by official number one contender for the Featherweight Title, Laura. Laura, it's nice to have us here at your school for this time. Laura: Being in journalism myself I know some of the troubles for getting a place for an interview. Anything I can do for airtime---I'm willing to help out. Cornette: Now, I know you called for this interview in order to address T. Jay and Xander Sterling again, but I do have a reason for consenting this to you. Laura: (smile fades from her) Like what? Cornette: Your remarks about Tiffany Storm the other day....we've been talking about that at NEW headquarters. What did you mean with those? Jealousy? Or is there a base for all of what you said? Laura: (losing her patience) Look, I don't blame you for asking that, you're doing the right thing. But right now, Tiffany Cross can be stabbed in the heart, have her left ventricle gashed, and I won't care. I have a big match and that little prissy fraud is not of my concern. Cornette: But she's getting so much coverage for the fed. With so many people catching on to her, we at NEW are expecting our best buy rate ever for a "Money Matters" pay-per-view. More people watching means people to notice you. There must be something behind what you've said. Laura: (her eyes narrow as her voice raises, she looks at Cornette as the camera angle changes allowing us to see Laura from Cornette's perspective. This is a glare that can cut a diamond fans.) LISTEN YOU LITTLE *SSH*LE! (realizing her lost patience, she calms down, blinking a couple times before resuming as the camera angle goes back to showing both at once) I'm just saying she's not this "golden person" she appears to be. Yes, she's had trouble in her past, but now she's trying to become a superhero. She's trying to become a role model, whether she actually realizes it or not. Posing nude in Playboy? Thanks Tiffany for blowing all that I've done to help women establish credibility in sports. Breaking her father's neck? Sure the guy sounds like a goon, but come on. Being a role model, stupid kids out there, little retarded 7 and 8 year olds, are going to be trying to do that. They'll be trying to "Be Like Tiffany." (high-pitched child-like voice) "'Tiffany did it mommy, it's okay I do it too.'" (regular voice now) Thanks Tiffany for making the world a safer place. I swear if this world was full of Tiffany Storms it'd go to Hell in a handbasket. Cornette: Interesting comments. But to save my self, I'll just go to the match-up involving you this Sunday for the Featherweight Title. Now, as we all know, you've expressed thoughts previously towards T. Jay and Xander Sterling this week. How does your mind change as we are now at mid-week, now only four days away from the match? Laura: My mindset is the same as it always was: Win the d*mn match. The main difference is that now, instead of planning an attack and worrying about possible counter moves and being able to stay a step ahead of everyone else, I look to see how the mindset of my opposition works. I lay out a base plan as to what will happen and what could happen in my next match at the start of the week, but by now, I look to see what my opponents want to do. How their heads are processing me as an opponent. Am I a joke to them? Do I appear to be "just a girl?" Or am I the threat that I SHOULD be? Cornette: Sounds like a lot of work. Laura: For you, yes. For me, no. This is a plan I adapted when I started three years ago and it's worked. That's why I'm such a downer to have to face. I don't let up. I know what's going to happen because I've thought about your move before even YOU have. I'm not 2-0 on dumb luck. Cornette: You've brought up about your track performance, winning the gold in Sydney in two events. What does it do to you when someone like Xander Sterling goes out and says track doesn't matter in wrestling? Laura: I take that as an insult. I've worked hard just as they have to win, they have no right to say something like that. Especially to me. Don't insult my intelligence here Xander. Get this----every time----EVERY SINGLE TIME----someone bashes my track background, the whole "what does that do in wrestlng," THEY GET THEIR BUTTS KICKED! This is because, as I've said IF YOU'D LISTEN; my track background gives me endurance. Yes, as you said "X," it WILL allow me to run from getting my butt kicked in. In doing so, while you can't run as fast as me and therefore get caught, I'll be able to rest up, gain back some of my strength and be ready to go back to whooping up on a now further weakend you. My stamina level is off the charts due to my long distance running. While you're bent over, breathing hard and sucking gas I'll be able to waltz right on over to you, still being as fast as when the match began, still having 95% of my strength as opposed to you and your 70% by then. You'll be soaked in sweat and looking like the Hoover Dam broke behind you while I'll be as dry as a desert, waiting to give out more abuse. You people are so stupid. There ARE more things out there than wrestling you know. I suppose if a football player came into wrestling that you'd be saying he'd be too slow? That it? A basketball player would not be strong enough? Is being only in wrestling suddenly the only way to win a match!? Xander, you need to get out more, read some more magazines, books and meet more people. It's a diverse world out there dork and ANYONE can win from ANY background, just as I've done. Maybe that gives you, too, a chance, but I'm better prepared. I don't hang out with a nerd all day--what's with that? I don't play dumb-dumb videogames and I don't buy CD's for the humor factor. You're wasting your time, giving that belt a stupid new name and driving around looking for junk. That's how you ready for a big, money-caliber match like this? For a pay-per-view? No wonder you've only won once in your time here. You took three months off before recently returning? Some work ethic. Yeah, you're committed here for the long haul. What, did you fall off your tricycle getting to an arena and break your leg? Or are you back now because you saw me, Laura show up, realize that this federation is going to get lots of attention because of that, and come back and try to "free-ride" your way to being someone. That's just pathetic. You need to go away and stay away. Cripes, I've been here for two weeks and already have more wins than you. You think you're hot stuff? Try looking in a fun house mirror, no, wait, those aren't that distorted. Sorry. Cornette: What about T. Jay? He was beaten by "X" last week and just recently made fun of you. Laura: He's stupid. First off, I beat him in a tag-match my first-ever match here. Right there that says I'm better than he is. Secondly, where the Hell has he been of late? It's like he realized his true home and thankfully dropped off the face of the Earth. He lost his poor little title to BBK, loses the next week and isn't heard from again until two weeks ago. Get this, he lost in 3-way match for that title last week---how can he do it again this week when now HE is the weakest link, not Tony Rios, and has better competition in me, Laura. What he did, that is SO immature. First, like that sort of thing has never been done before. Second, it's that sort of thing that tells me I'm going against a kindergartner. This is unbelievable. He's supposed to be how old? You'd think upon seeing him for a day and his actions that he was no better than a freshman in high school. I mean COME ON, I'M taller than this guy! And I'm not even 5'10!! T. Jay thinks he can get off by doing a stupid prank like that against me? What, is that supposed to land him in the comedy hall of fame? Should I go catch his new act in Vegas or Reno now? He sure as heck has no wrestling career, that's become apparent and it seems he noticed too. Hey there little boy, good luck with the comedy clubs. Hopefully you get a sitcom better than "Full House." You had this big comeback thing on television---and you lost-----TO ME! Then you disappear after getting a title for no reason then lose the d*mn thing? What are you doing T? Trying to look like a real-life Forrest Gump? Or did you see that belt once you got it, realized you weren't worthy of it, and quickly decided it'd be best if you were as far away from it as possible? You may be in this match T. Jay, but that doesn't mean you might win. Besides, even if I do lose by some sort of freak occurence, I got bigger fish to fry. If I win as I prepare to, then I hold this Featherweight Title longer than anyone has held ANY belt in this federation. That's the plan, and when I set my mind to something, lord knows it gets accomplished. Cornette: Quite captivating statements Laura. Is there anything else? Laura: |
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