Bite my Clit!!
Bite My Clit!!

The Queen of Wrestling

Laura

Record

Achievments

People Used

People Mentioned

RP #

0-0-0

Won gold medals in Sydney Olympics, track star at her university, possible Featherweight Champion

Laura

T. Jay, Xander Sterling

Two/2

(The scene fades in and we are greeted with a large, bright light...aka--the sun! It's a warm sun too. How do we know this? It's because, as we can see by this view of the outdoors of a college, numerous people are walking around in summer attire. Whether it be girls in shorts, tank tops and sandals or guys in t-shirts and shorts, the main dress is for warm weather. Our view, after some panning around, lands on a female sitting underneath a tree. A female? At a collegiate setting? I think we all know who this is! Yes folks, it's Laura. Laura sits underneath this oak tree, her back straight up against it, with her left leg straight out and her right leg up, bent at the knee. She is wearing a black tank top with jean shorts and black-colored mules with no heel. Her hair is not tied back into any sort of style, nor is it being held by any sort of hairpiece, so it just flows freely in the gentle breeze that exists. What's sort of shocking though is that she sits there, no books or bags around her or the tree, she is smoking a cigarette. She's about halfway through it, taking breath as you read this blowing smoke into the air. She sits rather uncaringly, just flicking the ashes from her cigarette aside and taking another inhale from the "heater" in her hand. The camera inches carefully closer so as not to disturb her severly, after all, that would REALLY piss her off, and that would be bad. As she turns her head to inhale another breath of nicotine, tar and tobacco she takes notice. Luckily, she only lowers her eyebrows and glares before using her head to motion the cameras to come closer. They do, and in the process, Laura extinguishes her cigarette under her right foot.)

Laura: Some people don't understand, do they? I tell them the last thing that you want to do is p*ss me off, and yet what happens? Xander Sterling goes and p*sses me off. My good man Xander, so have so much to learn child. First and foremost, if you're going to bash someone, at least use the facts, huh!? Cripes----SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING!? HELLO!!?? IT'S TRACK F*CKER!! I was in TRACK. THAT'S where I won my Olympic gold, that's where I became an American star. Pick up a copy of Sports Illustrated circa September of 2000. You can read all about me as a child and my heart, perseverence and all that other garbage. With that said, I think you're really asking for a lot of sh*t for this matchup Xander. Just because you are an "X-Man" so to speak, that doesn't mean you have "super powers." You can't go around slashing people, you can't start hitting people with a special force of nature just like that. (snaps her fingers) You're still human and you still suck. You try sounding intelligent or something like it and instead wind up looking like a big dork. I swear you have no right to talk in the first place. I mean, whenever people see you, in a match or just in person, they wish they were Ronald Reagan so they could forget they had just seen as quickly as Reagan himself blew the economy to bits thanks to "supply-side economics." You're one of those people who I wish I could just cut your d*ck off, throw it in a pan, fry it up golden brown, then feed it to you in a hot dog bun. You really think you can take me, Laura in a match? It's hard enough to beat me one-on-one, but a three-way? (shakes her head) You get to worry about T. Jay too. Simply put, what I'm saying is that you're trying so hard to win. So hard to sound like a tough guy. So hard to make it look like you know what you're doing. PLEASE STOP! I'm not like Jayson Blair. I don't speak lies. I don't have to make things up to get attention and gain fame and noteriety. Everything I have said and WILL say is the truth. If you don't believe me, go look in the record books. I have sources pal---you don't. You're a plain jack*ss trying to turn yourself into a bonafide fighting, champion-like, high-esteemed CEO. When people do that they wind up looking like----yup, you guessed it----Frank Stallone.

(Laura readjusts herself so that she is now lying on her side, legs fully extended, left on top of right, her right hand holding her head up.)

Laura: I really wonder if you were conceived via beastiality X. After all, you look like a monkey. You sound like a donkey. You have the brain of a----well, that's a special case. Your brain is like the droppings from a donkey. After all, all your ideas have been of sh*t, have they not? (Laura smiles, nearly giggling, with an expression of "I'm not the guilty one") Tell me, were there, say, photos of your mom and/or dad having a rendezvous with a cow? I don't just mean them doing the cow mind you, but a circumstance where the cow was doing THEM. Yes, I know, such a thought is uncomprehensible to such a teeny-tiny mind like yours buy hey, it's happened before, sad to say. People are sick and stupid like that, and I think that's how you came to be. It sure would explain a lot. What you're walking into here Xander Sterling is a new game show. You are the lucky one to be the next contestant in "The Laura Doings of Violence." T. Jay is up next and his chances don't look any brighter. Don't worry Xander, a loss is what you need. After all, we can't have you getting too cocky. (She sits upright, still on her side, placing her hands in front of her) Losing for a person like you, it shows you're human. That you're not invincible. That yes, bad things CAN happen to you. To a person like me, winning is the only way. If I lost, I wouldn't have my gold medals. If I lost, I wouldn't have a World Championship belt in my collection. If I lost I wouldn't have any titles to my credit in what is now exactly 3 years in this business. If I lost I wouldn't be 2-0 right now. If I lost, I wouldn't be in this match on Sunday. Makes you wish that I sucked, huh, Xander? Too bad I don't. Hey, your loss, my gain. Oh, by the way, try not ripping your dignity to shreds. I'll do that more than enough. Why, you'll think you're a teenager losing your virginity to a 60-year-old hooker! That's how stupid you'll look, that's how embarrased I'll make you. It's okay to lose to me, it's not okay to get the absolute crap kicked out of you when there's a THIRD PERSON IN THE MATCH! Deal with that---or don't. It's your choice and your way to deal with losing that belt of yours.

BITE MY CLIT!!

(Scene fades)
Laura
..::Disclaimer::..
This layout is done by Dominique L. and Tiffany S. for the e-wrestler Laura. We are not affiliated with Jessica Alba or Fox networks, so please no lawsuits--LOL. Do not steal this layout because it is not yours so get your own. If you find the contents in this rp offensive then i suggest you take your mouse and point that little arrow to the "X" in the upper right hand corner and click it..then BITE MY CLIT!!
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