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Record |
Achievments |
People Used |
People Mentioned |
RP # |
0-0-0 | Won gold medals in Sydney Olympics, track star at her university, possible Featherweight Champion | Laura |
T. Jay, Xander Sterling |
Two/2 |
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Laura: Some people don't understand, do they? I tell them the last thing that you want to do is p*ss me off, and yet what happens? Xander Sterling goes and p*sses me off. My good man Xander, so have so much to learn child. First and foremost, if you're going to bash someone, at least use the facts, huh!? Cripes----SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING!? HELLO!!?? IT'S TRACK F*CKER!! I was in TRACK. THAT'S where I won my Olympic gold, that's where I became an American star. Pick up a copy of Sports Illustrated circa September of 2000. You can read all about me as a child and my heart, perseverence and all that other garbage. With that said, I think you're really asking for a lot of sh*t for this matchup Xander. Just because you are an "X-Man" so to speak, that doesn't mean you have "super powers." You can't go around slashing people, you can't start hitting people with a special force of nature just like that. (snaps her fingers) You're still human and you still suck. You try sounding intelligent or something like it and instead wind up looking like a big dork. I swear you have no right to talk in the first place. I mean, whenever people see you, in a match or just in person, they wish they were Ronald Reagan so they could forget they had just seen as quickly as Reagan himself blew the economy to bits thanks to "supply-side economics." You're one of those people who I wish I could just cut your d*ck off, throw it in a pan, fry it up golden brown, then feed it to you in a hot dog bun. You really think you can take me, Laura in a match? It's hard enough to beat me one-on-one, but a three-way? (shakes her head) You get to worry about T. Jay too. Simply put, what I'm saying is that you're trying so hard to win. So hard to sound like a tough guy. So hard to make it look like you know what you're doing. PLEASE STOP! I'm not like Jayson Blair. I don't speak lies. I don't have to make things up to get attention and gain fame and noteriety. Everything I have said and WILL say is the truth. If you don't believe me, go look in the record books. I have sources pal---you don't. You're a plain jack*ss trying to turn yourself into a bonafide fighting, champion-like, high-esteemed CEO. When people do that they wind up looking like----yup, you guessed it----Frank Stallone. Laura: I really wonder if you were conceived via beastiality X. After all, you look like a monkey. You sound like a donkey. You have the brain of a----well, that's a special case. Your brain is like the droppings from a donkey. After all, all your ideas have been of sh*t, have they not? (Laura smiles, nearly giggling, with an expression of "I'm not the guilty one") Tell me, were there, say, photos of your mom and/or dad having a rendezvous with a cow? I don't just mean them doing the cow mind you, but a circumstance where the cow was doing THEM. Yes, I know, such a thought is uncomprehensible to such a teeny-tiny mind like yours buy hey, it's happened before, sad to say. People are sick and stupid like that, and I think that's how you came to be. It sure would explain a lot. What you're walking into here Xander Sterling is a new game show. You are the lucky one to be the next contestant in "The Laura Doings of Violence." T. Jay is up next and his chances don't look any brighter. Don't worry Xander, a loss is what you need. After all, we can't have you getting too cocky. (She sits upright, still on her side, placing her hands in front of her) Losing for a person like you, it shows you're human. That you're not invincible. That yes, bad things CAN happen to you. To a person like me, winning is the only way. If I lost, I wouldn't have my gold medals. If I lost, I wouldn't have a World Championship belt in my collection. If I lost I wouldn't have any titles to my credit in what is now exactly 3 years in this business. If I lost I wouldn't be 2-0 right now. If I lost, I wouldn't be in this match on Sunday. Makes you wish that I sucked, huh, Xander? Too bad I don't. Hey, your loss, my gain. Oh, by the way, try not ripping your dignity to shreds. I'll do that more than enough. Why, you'll think you're a teenager losing your virginity to a 60-year-old hooker! That's how stupid you'll look, that's how embarrased I'll make you. It's okay to lose to me, it's not okay to get the absolute crap kicked out of you when there's a THIRD PERSON IN THE MATCH! Deal with that---or don't. It's your choice and your way to deal with losing that belt of yours. |
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