***We haven't heard from our Old School Hero in a while. After the first round of the Heavyweight Championship Tournament, he hasn't been heard from since. And now, he's got to fight Table Man. Granted, the guy's gotten better since his debut. But is he a match for the Prince of Old School? Time will tell. Why haven't we heard from Seth? Probably because of his injuries sustained at the hands of Enforcer after the First Round. Seth joked about the Punisher before the match, but the most he can do now is crack a smile at it. Table Man's definitely going to be a tough opponent, and the match a crowd pleaser. Seth, however, always plays to win...***
Hi guys. I haven't been in tune much with the Death Row World...my means of communication with the outside world have been temporarily severed. I'm going to try to get this tape in to someone else so they can play it. Where am I now? On a plane headed for Pennsylvania. This is what has happened to me so far.
Seth Calvert: Yeah, I guess he's right. There is no more Family entertainment. That's what's wrong with it TM. Table Man...where in the hell did you get a name like that? What are you a superhero? Somebody with mystical powers? See, I'm going to exercise one of my powers - I know what you'd respond to this - "Yeah, I got powers, and I'm going to kick your ass with them!!!" That's about as bad as your catchphrase. Sure, mine could use work...but I'll go far to say Justin Credible and Chris Benoit have better phrases than you. But off the random things. Monday, you've got a chance to be stepping in the ring with one of the more technically sound wrestlers here. And, hell, I'll admit it. I can go Hardcore as well. Damnit, Enforcer knows that. But Enforcer felt screwed and has re-inserted himself into this thing. Table Man, my plan for the tournament now is to beat the hell out of you, and buzz on and see if I find Enforcer across from me in the squared circle.
Table Man, you pride yourself on being able to drop folks through your namesake. I pride myself on being able to stay away from the weapons and still win. See, I don't have to be X-Treme to beat you Table Man. New School in...how long did it take you to come up with that one? Death Row....just a cheesy way to kiss ass. You've got an electric chair waiting for me? Table Man, I'm just about as afraid of you and your stable mates as I am of the housefly with its nose up your ass. You don't think I've endured Pain before? See the cuts? The scars? The marks? The X-Rays of my broken bones? You don't think that hurts? I've got more balls than you do, and Shae could testify to that. You'll have her at ringside for...what was it? Good luck? Skank...comparable to Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley...And I'm comparable to the Game himself. No, not in the "Married to a slut" way, I'm comparable to his strategies, his planning, pretty much "his Game". I can play mind games with the best of them...I can psyche out with the best of them...you, Table Man, all you can do is shout and holler cuss words hoping that scares the hell out of your opponent. Pathetic is the word that comes to mind...
This is the point where I got off at the airport and started my journey here. I stand here before you, no comradery anymore, no Late Nite Productions. I stand before you one man with a "media-reported" No Chance in Hell of succeeding in this tournament, and I'm already two rounds deep. The cameraman who is shooting this, I'm trusting on relaying this message to the fans of Death Row...
Seth Calvert: You sure this is getting to the fans?
Cameraman: Don't worry Mr. Calvert, this is going to get to them. Just speak your mind.
Seth Calvert: Table Man, I've seen you make about 3 people feel the shatter, and one, I'm not one of them, two, I won't be one of them, and three, I don't need to make you feel it. Your bitch at ringside is as much of a good luck charm as a piece of paper with someone's name on it that you look at during a test. This is your test Table Man: Beat me. If you can do that, you'll earn my not-wanted respect I'm sure, and you'll get support from me in the tournament. But seeing as you have a fireball's chance in a downpour of beating me, I'll continue to laugh at you, mistreat you, hurt you, and correct your every mistake. I don't find you threatening, I don't find you intimidating. I find you to be the most laughable, the biggest wanna-be, and the worst excuse for an athlete of any type I've seen in my life. You can say Feel the Shatter, you can rip off of Michael Buffer all you want, but the fact of the matter at hand, Monday Megadeath, I will go over you and advance in this tournament. You couldn't be World Champion if every superstar laid down for you, because you'd want to put something on the highlight reel. You lack what I have, a life, a history, ability, and a former title reign. My only hope? That you don't bitch and whine like Enforcer to get back in the tournament. See you Monday Table Man, see you in school. And after the record books say "Win awarded to Seth Calvert, the Prince of Old School" your report card will say "Failed Miserably: Table Man" and you'll feel a terrible brunt from Death Row...they'll ask why you couldn't beat me, and you'll be speechless, when the truth is, you just suck. Class Dismissed, boy.
And that concludes this self-narrative. It's not the most interesting story, nor the best one I could tell, but for the constraints of which I'm working under, it will have to do. To the countless number of fans I have in the audience at Death Row, your Hero will not fail to come through.
Going through with the next round wasn't that easy of a thing. After going through a table (as well as through a 500 pound wooly mammoth) and receiving a Chokeslam from the same beast, I didn't think he'd be in much better shape. But there were two things that changed my mind. First off, Enforcer, the very man I defeated. I CHEATED him? Cripes. What's the world amounting to? Next thing you know, we'll be hearing Scott Hall becoming a priest...no, don't imagine things like that. That is just disturbing. But on my way to the airport, I did my soliloquy routine. I guess it's a way to pump myself up. I started it after getting word of Table Man's recent promo against me...which I must say was a laughable attempt...I was in my car, being chauferred by a friend of mine. He was a good listener, so I decided to drop my self-speech there.