Old School by Nature

Okay...so Derian Deniot's name is misspelled...don't blame me...it was right on the form.

~~~Okay...a few things to know about. One: Simply Awesome gets to face the two sluts of Morder Hunde. Two: Seth Calvert is facing a deadly man in SiN Jacobs. Three: THE FISH DOESN'T HAVE A MATCH! ALL RIGHT! Time to catch up on paperwork. Where is everyone at this moment? I don't even know...and that's not good seeing as I have to make up a pretty decent introduction...um...I'll just say they're out somewhere...~~~

**All is quiet at a show for a local indy fed. This federation seems slightly more advanced than the usual little indy feds. A rather large Television serves as a Tron, and surround sound speakers headline the roof of the rec center. Unseen to the eye, a subwoofer is under the ring. Strobe lights, both white and colored adorn the entrance way. It's the beginning of the show, and people don't really know what to expect...it seems that in the back, some of the higher-ups got the match order confused and are now trying to fix it up...during this, the familiar drums of Orgy sound and "Blue Monday" bursts out of the speakers. Moments pass, and after all of thirty seconds, Derian Deniot bursts out of the curtained entrance way, dressed only the way he can dress, in neon purple singlet with sparkling purple leggings and black boots. This is covered by his multicolored trenchcoat, and his eyes are covered by his Trademark Sunglasses. Rancid however...well...it seems he raided Derian's private Hard Liquor cabinet (just guessing from the bottle of booze in his hand) and staggers out with a plate of glass under his arm. His red, black, and silver singlet looks a little...watered down...Derian enters the ring, and doesn't bother looking back to see if his partner went in. He grabs a microphone and asks that the music die down. As it does, the fans begin to realize who these two are and start a loud "DRWF!" chant.**

{Derian Deniot} " Thank you...really, thanks. Ladies and Gentlemen, props to our man, Seth Calvert for that huge victory over Matt Budai! "

**A loud cheer sounds across the arena, chanting "Old School Prince!" over and over again. Derian smiles and quiets the crowd down again...**

{Derian Deniot} " Yes, that's right. And this Saturday, Simply Awesome takes their share of winning against Morder Hunde as we take two whores through glass at Bad Religion. Now, normally, we wouldn't waste this much time on bimbos such as these...besides, they overcharge...but, by gosh, we wanted to know if you out there think that Laura Wilson's speech made absolutely no goddamned sense whatsoever! Whaddaya all think?"

**The fans laugh at this comment and cheer in favor of "It doesn't make any sense"**

{Derian Deniot} " Will someone tell me please what this means? Look up at the Tron you guys have."

{Laura Wilson's speech} "You two before the match :0_0 Me and Melanie before the match:0_0. Mel and Me after the match: 0_0 You two after the match: X_X. You get it now? If not X_X then sad, real sad....."

{Derian Deniot} " And what in the good name of God was that? Hey hey, let's look at some more absolute dumbass comments from Ms. Primetime."

{Laura Wilson's speech} "YOU BOTH WILL BE BLOWN TO BILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF MOLICULES AND ATOMS!"

{Derian Deniot} "Oh man...that's rich. What are we in? Sixth grade? Seventh? C'mon someone gimme a number. And someone please alert the young and foolhardy woman who couldn't get a good screw from her daddy that there is only ONE Old School Empire...there are no Empires...this is just funny. Ladies, ladies...we certainly didn't want to have to come out and insult you on your speaking skills...but since your wrestling skills are so horrible, what else is there? What do we have to go in the ring against at Bad Religion? Two body-sellers who couldn't win a debate contest against a 12 year old? The Old School Empire has seen some pretty damn bad competition here, but this is pathetic. I think everyone who has watched our promos is tired of other folks saying that we think we're the top stable in the world, that we are "superior". When will it come to folks that underestimating is something that the Empire does not do. But in this case, I can see why we might make an exception. But nonetheless, we know that if they're Morder Hunde, something's up their sleeve...and we're ready for anything. But you know? Just for chuckles, let's listen to some more of Laura's out-of-the-ass speech shall we?"

{Laura Wilson's speech} "If you drag out a match with this so called "Arriogant Aussie" as people often refer to me as then your going to pay! Pay dearly. With your life!"

{Derian Deniot} "Oh great...that's just what we need...a female version of the Undertaker. If I have to be subjected to another torturous "speech", and I use that term very loosely, I think I might say I'm better off watching Barney. Seriously folks, we have to face two women tomorrow. One who would rather be off buy Viagra for Matt Budai, and the other who can't even say her team's name right. Did anyone else know that it was Norder Hunde? Ha, neither did I. What else can we make fun of..."

**Before he can answer, "Damnit, I Changed Again" by the Offspring blasts across the P.A. system. The Prince of Old School appears at the curtained portal at the entrance with a microphone in hand. He wears blue jeans, a white Old School Empire T-Shirt. His hair is tied back and the Steve Corino wristband is on, standing out from the rest of the attire. He waits for a second for the cheers to die down...waits a few seconds more...then breaks out laughing...**

{Seth Calvert} "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my gosh...what a blond idiot she is! Do we know the meaning of Old School? My dear...it seems that your mind is as dense as your breasts. Old School...in wrestling, it means classic, original, and not hardcore in nature. To me, it's a way of living a wrestler's life. Look at Bret Hart...Corino...Dusty Rhodes...Ric Flair...Old School successes that have happened. And me? I'm just another one waiting to happen. But hey...we all know about the lovely little messes that Rancid there has put you into. We ain't talkin about the yellow ones between your legs either. Gore...after Gore...after absolutely destructive Gore. Rancid is at least 7 feet tall...300 something pounds...and you want to try and pick him up and put him through a plate glass? Psh...right...if you do, I'll get you the book "How to fake being good at Sex when you really Suck". You need it."

{Derian Deniot} "Pal, you're speakin' nothing but the truth. Sunday at Bad Religion, there's gonna be a whole lotta shakin' goin on...shakin', and shatterin'. You know that normally, "The Sex Icon of the Northwest" wouldn't do a damn thing to harm a lady...but since these two cheap whores can't really be classified as ladies, there flat-chested asses are going through some glass. We be having a bit of fun eh Rancid?"

**Rancid smiles hungrily and nods his head vigorously. He smacks his fist into his open palm and looks like he's ready to kill someone...and with the predicament that Morder Hunde's bitches are in...who knows? More bashing of Laura Wilson's attempts at a speech go on in the ring while Seth quietly leaves the area...backstage, he gets pulled aside by...Kevin Edwards...Seth immediately looks around...**

{Kevin Edwards} "Would you calm your ass down? Look, I'm not askin for a fight or anything. All I want..."

{Seth Calvert} "Look punk, you may have Matt trustin' you for the time being, but I ain't fooled by this sudden turn of events. Where's the Alliance? I'd rather have my ass kicked with honor than not see it coming."

{Kevin Edwards} "Like I said man...calm the hell down. There's not setup, I'm not pullin' you in. You know I'm a staff member...I just wanna get your thoughts on Sin Jacobs...you've got him this Sunday. Just wanna know if you're ready."

{Seth Calvert} "...okay...I'll give you this one short little interview. Quite frankly, I have no freakin' clue where he's going with this Old School Wrestling Federation thing...I don't know what the hell his friend is on, or what he's been drinking. I feel offended in some ways here Kev Old Buddy. Neglected almost. That's not what I was aiming for in this federation. But seeing as Sin Jacobs has chosen to ignore me, and brush me off as some nobody, he will not enjoy the match. Not only am I going into this match on a hot streak, but I'm still on a quest. You know that Kev? I'm still mad at El Presidente...back when he wasn't El Presidente. I still want the World Title...I think my performance at Life or Death proved that I deserve it. And now coming up, another spectacular in which I get to showcase my talents. There are two reasons that I want to win this matchup badly. I want to get to the point where I get a World Title shot again. I will reclaim that belt Kev...I'll hold it for more than 30 minutes. The second reason is because Jackhammer's my friend. He wants a little vengeance on Jacobs, and I'm ready."

{Kevin Edwards} "Seth...you lookin' a little paranoid. I told you...there's no one here. I'm alone, and I'm just lookin for something to turn in to the media folks. So take some Prozac and settle down. You do know what kind of match it is though right?"

{Seth Calvert} "An extremely dangerous one, I know. Stairway out of Hell...not really one of my specialties, but since Jake Hollman's runnin' this show, I don't have a say. But Sin, you've seen my dark side. You've seen the side that knows how to kill...the side with the instinct of survival. I know what that much is about. This match isn't gonna be one of the more physically lenient ones that I'll be in, but see if you can get up in the morning the day after. So many weapons geared towards Hardcore in this match. Some out there are wondering if a mysterious Golden Spike will show up some how...maybe it will...maybe it won't...Sin better hope he doesn't find out the hard way. We have your basic Japan hardcore weapons. Barbed Wire...C4...Nail Boards...and then the instruments of High Flying Death...ladders, scaffolds...absolute hell. Seems like fun...but I'm not underestimating Sin Jacobs...the man's an accomplished person no doubt. I've heard about what he can do to someone in the ring. But he hasn't faced me...not in the state I'm in anyway. I snapped once, I can do it again...the danger comes when I get to Ken Shamrock snapping...that's just freakin' weird. But Jacobs better be ready...because if he isn't, he'll get a damn shocking surprise. We done Kev? I'd like to be on my merry way now..."

{Kevin Edwards} "Oh sure...I think that'll do. Have a good Day Seth...and remember, if something bad happens to you, I didn't do it."

**Seth starts to walk off, but at the "if something bad happens" line, he pauses, looks over his shoulder...does a double take before proceeding on. Kevin smiles and then goes off to the food court for a pretty damn good Soda! Meanwhile, back in the ring, Derian is giving his closing thoughts.**

{Derian Deniot} "...Rancid and I have scraped for the last few weeks, scraped at the higher ups, asking for an opportunity...we saw this match that was supposed to be against the Budai Brothers, but instead, since they're out, their two little women stepped up and took their place. We're still treating this like our opportunity, and no two redneck women are gonna take this away from us. We'll get our gold some day...Morder Hunde...or rather "The Hundettes" is just another group in line. Our day is coming Rancid...those two bitches come Sunday? Think of those plywood boards you've been smashing through...those girls are lighter, denser, and generally stiffer and dumber than three plywood boards. It's time...time that Simply Awesome is able to rise to the top. And there's no one that can stand in our way for long...Laura Wilson and Melanie are gonna find that out tomorrow."

**Derian poses for the crowd, arms outstretched in glory. He gets on the second pad and does a thinking pose after flipping his trenchcoat back to show off his marvelously built and tanned body. Rancid has already rolled out of the ring...but he runs back for the bottle of booze he left in the ring...he takes a swig and smiles...a fan tries to splash beer in his face, but Rancid sees it coming and shoves the cup in the guy's face before he can do anything about it. Derian jumps out of the ring and follows his partner down the ramp. Bad Religion folks...practice it, live it, die by it...because the DRWF is going to Worship...**

OLD SCHOOL EMPIRE(it's singular folks)

This roleplay copyrighted by Seth Calvert, (C)July 2001, All Rights Reserved. Remember these two things: 1. E-fedding is a hobby, not a lifestyle, so treat it...or don't treat it...as such. 2. If any of this has been stolen in any way, shape, or form, I'll find you, and file suit. Have a Nice Day...Class Dismissed.

Imitating what the DRWF Superstars do inside the ring whether you're at home or on the playground could result in three things: 1. Someone getting really pissed, 2. A DRWF Scout asking you to be a member, 3. Serious injury, possible death. LEAVE IT TO THE PROS!!! ..::Kevin Edwards used with the permission of Kevin Edwards himself...so don't anyone throw a hissy fit because I used someone else in the RP.::..
Derian Deniot's New Theme Song: "Clint Eastwood" by Gorillaz