Always the Old School Enthusiast…
Goddamn him. Goddamn Razor Blade. Who would have thought that one of the most talented wrestlers in the DRWF would not like Seth Calvert just because he came in when Blade was gone. So what does he do? A quite Childish thing, if you ask anyone (this narrator’s opinion is biased). He decided to jump the Old School Prince during a Tag Team Title match which he and Late Nite arguably could have won. Okay, sure, Myzery had a part in KO’ing the other half of the Champs, but a move or two away, and he’d still be a champion. Now Seth is going to attempt in making the usually not-so-smooth transition from Tag Champ to Singles Champ as he takes on Razor Blade for the X-Treme Title…something un-characteristic for our Prince.
But as we catch our Old School Hero, he’s coming out of…not a hospital, but a normal doctor’s office. He’s reading a small piece of paper in his hands.
Seth Calvert: That’s it? A masseuse? I mean, that’s not bad, but damn my
back hurts! Just don’t think a masseuse is gonna fix things.
Nonetheless, Calvert gets in his ’95 Nissan pickup, and buzzes off to the nearest massage parlor…before getting a crazy, yet not so farfetched idea. He heads to the DRWF Arena…more specifically, the lobby. He pulls in the Arena parking lot and gets out, holding his back. As he walks by a trash can, he tosses the “prescription” away. He shows the dull security guard his ID and walks on through. As he steps through the front doors, he sees the person he’s looking for. Melissa, the front desk receptionist.
Melissa: Seth! What are you doing here? I thought you had a
doctor’s appointment. Y’know, for that back injury you suffered…
Seth Calvert: Right, at Kuruption. Well, I went there, the damn doctor –
get this – he said it was just a muscle strain and that a good masseuse should
fix everything. He gave me a “prescription” for a masseuse and a $300 bill.
Melissa: So why aren’t you at a massage parlor yet? I know this one
great spot…
Seth Calvert: I didn’t feel like blowin’ anymore dough. So I was
wondering…how good are you at massages?
Melissa: I’ve been told I’m pretty good. Plus, I’m getting off now.
This brings a slight drop jaw from Calvert. He straightens up as she appears from behind the desk, a good half-foot shorter than he is. And that isn’t bad. They walk into a room entitled “Exercise Room/Relaxation”. As they walk in, they see several of the DRWF Superstars – Mikey Mikey D, Ice, Jason Summers and others are doing a routine workout. Melissa heads to a separate room and Seth goes next door and prepares. A few minutes later, Melissa walks back in with a bottle of oil and other massage needed items (hell if I know what they are). Then she begins the massage. A few seconds into it, she decides to strike up a conversation.
Melissa: So Razor Blade attacked you because you’re an Old School
mark eh?
Seth Calvert: Good job. Damn sonuvabitch cost me and Kev the titles.
Tomorrow, it’s payback, Old School Style.
Melissa: But remember? It’s for the X-Treme Title. That means
weapons, hardcore style, the Anti-Seth!
Seth Calvert: You’ll see Mel…ah, right there. I screwed up that Old
School-Plex last night. Never mind the shots to the back of the head.
Melissa: So…how are you going to win?
Seth Calvert: Heh…hey, did I see Jordan out there?
Melissa: I think so. Hold on.
She gets up from her position and sticks her head out the door. She sees who she’s looking for and waves him in. Jordan Jackson looks around embarrassed, then points at him. She rolls her eyes and gives him a “No duh” look. He smiles, taps people on the shoulder pointing to her and walks over. When he steps in the room though and sees the Old School Prince, he gives a grunt of disappointment. He looks at Melissa quizzically.
Melissa: Ah…no. *She resumes her massage on Seth’s lower back*
Jordan: Yes Mr. Calvert, what can I do for you?
Seth Calvert: Sit yourself down, think of three good questions to ask me
about my next month here in the DRWF, and ask them. Make sure you record it all
too.
Double J sits there for a minute, thinking of which questions to ask Seth. He gets an enlightenment of sorts and writes the three questions down. We see that the questions are: 1. What do you think of HBK’s Retirement? 2. What’re your plans for the X-Treme title match with Razor Blade tomorrow? And 3. What of your ladder match?
Jordan: Well first off Seth, my question is, what are your
thoughts on HBK’s retirement from the DRWF?
Seth Calvert: All I can say is good bye. Didn’t get a chance to know the
guy in person all that well,
although he didn’t seem to partial to me. I’ve seen him pull this swerve on the
DRWF before, so I wouldn’t put it past him to jack it again. Next question. You’ve
wasted one, make the next two good.
Jordan: Ahem…okay…How do you plan on winning the X-Treme Title tomorrow,
seeing as it isn’t…
Seth Calvert: You wanna know how? I’ll win that damn thing
tomorrow without weapons. I won’t do it the “normal” way as all you people call
it. As Steve Blackman would say “My hands and my feet are my weapons”. Blade, I
don’t normally pick up weapons unless so provoked. I could make an exception to
the rule. It’s not a custom for me, but I know how to swing a chair…a bat…or a
cookie sheet. I’ve been to the Minor Leagues. Razor Blade, you want to close
down the school so to speak, you don’t like my style. Neither did anyone in ECW
when Steve Corino proposed the idea. Where is he now? Fine, I’ll give you the
fact ECW isn’t exactly in the best shape it’s been in. But he’s been a World
Champion. Defended it well on several occasions, and has pulled victories
against legends such as the Sandman, Dusty Rhodes, and that good Indy kid,
Reckless Youth. He didn’t do it with weapons. He did it with heart, technical
ability, and the brain of a genius.
At
Kuruption, you attacked with precision. You got me from behind…similar to a
coward…says something doesn’t it? And after seeing your recent vignette, it
says something else. Stepping into HBK’s hospital room with Ice, screaming “FUCK
FUCK FUCK!” constantly can get some of those old perverts in the room next door
thinking. You seem to have an obsession with the word. Razor Blade, you look at
that title one last time before you go to sleep. It won’t be there Wednesday
morning. I’m going to take it off of your waist – maybe not the easiest way,
but it’s coming off. You shouldn’t spend your time getting off on the
now-retired Heartbreak Kid. You got other things to worry about. Like tomorrow.
Jordan: And your Tag Team Ladder match? You still are in the running in the
Tag Team Division with Mr. Late Nite are you not?
Seth Calvert: You know, for looking like Razor Blade on men’s
condoms, which is every other day I hear, you’re smart. Dracos, Scarab, we’re
still here. We’ll continue to haunt you. No more fun and games on Bloody
Sunday. No Dracula, no Alucard, no Nintendo music playing the background. Get
ready in two weeks for some crazy ass bumps, high spots, and a victory by Late
Nite Productions. Jordan, get out of my face. You’re fixing to make me throw
up.
Jordan does so
willingly as Melissa gets close to finishing with Seth’s massage. She has her
back turned, and as Jordan leaves, he gives a glancing look at her ass. A
pretty site, obviously – even more so for a geek like him. He shuts the door as
Melissa wraps up…yes, in that way.
CLASS DISMISSED RAZOR BLADE, GET
OUT!
The Champion, Razor Blade
VERSUS
The Challenger, Seth Calvert