Strat for Supreme Saturday

Andrew: DEAR GOD EVAN! It looks like we're going to have a new Eternal Champion right here tonight, on April 13, 2001! MARK IT IN YOUR CALENDERS!

Evan: IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ABOUT TO HEAR A BRONX TALE! THIS CAN'T BE...WAIT...who the...who's that lady coming over the guard rail?

Evan: Would you look at that? She's...distracting...Royce! Royce had Ace up in A Bronx Tale, but...he just saw Ashley and put Ace down!

Andrew: Don't think that's the wisest of moves. Ace could be and probably is recuperating rather quickly. But I can see why he got distracted. Look at that mother fu...HEY! LOOK! THAT'S WOLF! WOLF JUST MADE AN IMPRINT OF ROYCE'S SKULL IN THAT CHAIR!

Evan: AND LOOK! IT'S THAT IDIOT THAT LOOKS LIKE SPIDER-MAN! HE'S IN THE RING! HE HOOKS JASON ROYCE...TORNADO DDT! THAT LOOK ALIKE PICKS UP ROYCE AND KICKS HIM IN THE BACK OF THE KNEE!

Andrew: You gotta be kidding me! He just paralyzed Jason Royce in the middle of the ring! Ace is back up and...the Spider dude's signaling to Ace...Ace looks confused and...

Evan: HE'S NOT CONFUSED FOR THAT MUCH LONGER! ACE'S WILD! ONE...TWO...THREE! IT'S OVER! ACE RETAINS!

Andrew: And now Wolf and that Spider-Man dude are beating the hell out of Jason Royce! Ace just shrugs and gets out of the ring! Wait a sec...Wolf has a mic...

Wolf: YOU AND IDIOT BOY ROBERT DENIRO DON'T DESERVE TO BE THE CHAMPS! IT'S TIME WE SHOW YOU WHAT REAL CHAMPS ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE!

Andrew: Don't deserve? What is he talking...OH MY GOD! HE JUST BROKE THAT MIC OVER JASON ROYCE'S HEAD! ROYCE IS BLEEDING LIKE A MADMAN ALREADY! HE DIDN'T NEED THAT!

Evan: Wait! He just pulled another mic from his pocket?! Why didn't he just use that mic to break?! He just broke DRWF Property!

Wolf: We don't like to leave things unfinished...HEY DENIRO! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AND SAVE YOUR PARTNER!

Evan: WOLF DOESN'T HAVE TO WAIT LONG! HERE COMES DENIRO! WOLF GOES FOR AN OLD SCHOOL LARIAT...Deniro ducks...but OH LORD! THAT SPIDER-DUDE HAD A STEEL PLATE WAITING FOR DENIRO! THE CLOCK'S BEEN CLEANED!

Andrew: Now what?! They've made their point! Now...Wolf picks up Deniro...OH JESUS...THAT'S THE MOVE HE CALLS THE CURSE OF THE WOLF!!!! My God...Deniro's neck could have been broken...

Evan: Now that Spider-Dude is on the top...HOLY S***!!! HE JUST PULLED OFF A MOONSAULT LEG DROP! THAT'S GOT TO REQUIRE SOME AWESOME SKILLS!

Andrew: They're here to make an impact on the DRWF, and they're doing it in a definitive way tonight! Now what? They're...tying Royce up in the ropes. What's this for?! And that beautiful, bouncy, brunette, hottie of a chick is in the ring!

Evan: What are...oh no...Wolf and Spider-Dude are pulling Deniro's legs apart and...OH MY GOD! THAT CHICK JUST SCORED THREE POINTS ON MICHAEL DENIRO'S TESTICLES!

Evan: And why is Spider-Dude rolling out of the ring and coming towards us...why is he...AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

[The commentary has stopped. Why? The so-called "Spider-Dude" just decked both Evan Moro and Andrew Mielitz with a firm double dropkick to their heads. The masked person grabs the mic...]

???: I...Am...NOT...SPIDER-MAN...you morons...Spider-Man's colors are...Red and Blue...DOES THIS LOOK RED AND BLUE TO YOU?! NO IT'S BROWN AND YELLOW! The name is Shockwave...you stupid penis heads. Shockwave...remember it.

[Shockwave throws the mic back to wherever it was it's from...he then thumbs his nose at the unconsious announcers and moons them. He then rolls into the ring and joins Wolf...who has been bashing the Tag Turmoil Champs' heads in with an out-of-nowhere supplied steel brick-ish type thing. He stops and picks up the mic...]

Wolf: See this destruction? The bloody carasses supplied by Wolf, Shockwave, and Ashley? I bet some little man's gonna come out and say "That's against the rules, attacking announcers, brutally beating up wrestlers and destroying equipment"...well I say: FUCK THE RULES MAN!!!!!!!! It's time that this federation see a decent tag team! AND WE'RE IT!!!! And "Da Mob" as you stupid wiggers insist on calling it...you're first on our list!

[The credits scroll at the bottom of the screen as the image of Shockwave, Ashley, and Wolf is left and "My Way (Bad Boy Remix)" by Limp Bizkit featuring P. Diddy plays...]