{Seth Calvert} " How...why...is he back? I took care of him...what's this? "

**Kurt Angle's music has hit, and the Milk Truck is approaching the ring. Seth leans in wide eyed at the TV. As the Olympic Milkman sprays milk all over the Alliance, Seth jumps to his feet, then drops to his knees in a Kurt Angle pose. He runs to the refrigerator and grabs his gallon bottle of milk, pops it open, and starts shaking it all over his house. He succeeds in getting it all over himself, his furniture, and the TV. The show comes to an end, and Seth is still celebrating.**

{Seth Calvert} " WHOO! MILK FOR EVERYONE! GOD BLESS MILK! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! DOWN WITH THE BUDAIS, AND ALL PRAISE MILK!"

**Someone who is watching this...odd...scene calls Seth's number. The phone rings, and Seth calms down a bit to pick it up.**

{Seth Calvert} " Hello, Olympic Old School Milkman here, how may I help you?"

{Matt Budai Fan} " Seth, shut the hell up. Milk Sucks, Kirk Angel sucks, and YOU SUCK! MORDER HUNDE FOR LIFE!"

**The phone hangs up. Seth stares dumbfounded at the phone before slowly...very very slowly replacing it back in the cradle. He sits down in the drenched chair and takes a swig of milk right from the jug. It spills down the front of him, but he doesn't seem to mind. He thinks about what the fan has just said to him. He promoted Morder Hunde - bad thing. He put down the good name of Seth Calvert - bad idea. He defamed Kirk...uh, Kurt Angle's name - terrible thing. But most importantly, he dissed milk - deadly thing...*

{Seth Calvert} " I...don't...suck. Kurt doesn't...suck. And...milk...doesn't...suck..."

**Seth's voice trails away from this. He looks as if he's about to cry...all of a sudden, he gets a rage in his eyes. He jumps up, drops the milk(it lands perfectly) and grabs the phone.**

{Seth Calvert} " MILK SUCKS?!?!?!?!?! YOU THINK MILK SUCKS?!?!?! YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU! AND THEN I'LL KILL YOUR PATHETICALLY SMALL HERO MATT BUDAI! JUST WATCH YOU IDIOT! I'LL SHOW YOU WHY HAVING MILK IS GONNA HELP ME BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF MATT BUDAI! YOU BASTARD! "

**Seth needless to say, has pounded the phone into the proverbial oblivion. He storms out of the room, and his assistant(we don't use derogatory titles such as butler or maid) sees him walking towards the door and ponders.**

{Old School Assistant} "Uh, sir, if you're going to go get something, I remind you that you did hire me to do such things and..."

{Seth Calvert} "SHUT UP! I'M GOING TO THE STORE AND PICK UP SOME OLD FASHIONED GLASS BOTTLES OF MILK! THEN I'M STOPPING OFF AT THE WRESTLING STORE AND PICK UP SOME POSTERS! I'M GOING TO SLAUGHTER ROB, MATT, AND WHOEVER THEIR PUSSY FRIEND IS!"

{Old School Assistant} " You're going to use bottles of milk to beat Matt Budai? You're going to waste an awful lot of good dairy sir..."

**Seth does a sharp about face and smacks his assistant upside the head.**

{Seth Calvert} " NO YOU NINNY! I'm Freaking THIRSTY!"

**The Assistant shrugs and turns off. Seth slams the door on his way out and can be heard screaming...**

{Seth Calvert} " MORDER HUNDE IS GOING DOWN! FOR THE SAKE OF THE DRWF, AND FOR THE SAKE OF MILK!!!"

**Derian Deniot and Rancid, the team of Simply Awesome have been watching this entire scene, as was the Budai fan. As the door slams and Seth's last words are heard, Derian groans and shakes his head.**

{Derian Deniot, sighing} "Seth's lost it again. This time probably for the worse. Well, it looks like he's got Matt Budai by himself in this one. And we got Rob and that mystery guy. Who do you think the poor idiotic soul is that would help out Morder Hunde?"

**Rancid shrugs, then pounds his fist into his hand. He grinds it around as if it were the remains of someone who didn't want to tangle with the Man-ster. Derian laughs.**

{Derian Deniot} " Right...shoulda guessed. You don't give a damn. Looks like I got Rob then. But you know what? We're different now. We're better than before, and we're ready to face them. We wrestled Rob, and we know what he can...or can't...do in the ring. This time we will get our respect. We will be recognized as a competitive tag team in the DRWF. After Cold Day in Hell pal, it's just a matter of finding a team that'll go against us and compete to fight for the Tag Titles. Don't worry...I'll talk to Late Nite personally and get him to book this match. What? Yes...you can go if you want to. Just as insurance. He will book a Number One Contendorship match, or he has to look at your body hurling towards him. Much of the same thing Morder Hunde will be looking at on Sunday. Imagine it Rancid...Rob Budai down after smooth tecnical wrestling by The Sex Icon of the Northeast...Matt Budai down from a flurry of Insanity from the Prince of Old School...and that mystery man broken in half after having been assaulted by the Man-ster."

**Rancid suddenly gets a worried look on his face, and points at the TV.**

{Derian Deniot} " You're right. I just hope Seth destroys Matt before he knocks himself off. Hey, want some refreshment? The DRWF Show is about to come on."

**Derian moves to the mini-Icebox and pulls out a Bolt 45: Old School Orange for himself, and a Bolt 45: Big Willie-Isms Berry for Rancid. Rancid looks at the bottle for a second and then goes to the Icebox himself. He pulls out a mixer and some hard liquor. He grabs his Bolt and motions for the two to be mixed together. Derian stops him quickly...**

{Derian Deniot} " I still need a tag team partner for this Sunday and for the Tag Team Belts you know. Put the liquor away and sip the Berry. Hello...what's on the TV?"

**Derian is watching Matt Fisher guest star on The DRWF Show. He presents himself rather orderly, a City Streets dress shirt on with a City Streets overcoat. He holds in his hands a single slip of paper. He looks at the camera, and as the Intro music dies down, Matt Fisher is introduced, and he begins talking.**

{C.E.O. Matt Fisher} "Ladies and Gentlmen, a situation has come up. We have been "treated" to another verbal torture by Laura Wilson. As I listened to her "promo", the one word that kept coming to my mind was "dumbass". In all seriousness, I came out here, with a speech prepared to deliver to Laura Wilson concerning our match at Cold Day in Hell. However, she got the first "punch" in. This has prompted me to write totally new material."

"How Many times has the Cold Day in Hell event been advertised? How many times has my name been read at DRWF Events? How many months has Laura Wilson been here? I should say long enough for her blond, stupid ass to know that I AM THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER! AKA C.E.O.! Let me say it slower Laura...SEEEEEE....EEEEEEE....OHHHHHHH! Got it? GOOD! Because I've been the SEEEEE....EEEEEEE....OHHHHHHH since the beginning of the frickin' year!"

"Next on the list...oh yeah, here's one. What the hell do you say to a woman who talks to "ghosts" and "Spirits"? Not a whole lot I'll tell you. Except for that we don't live in an X-Files world, so tell your Wizard to step out from the curtain, because if he doesn't, he's just supplying us with more Laugh Material while you're talking to that "Spirit". I should note, I have more power than you Laura...and I don't have to blow anyone to have it."

"Hey, I've got a question for ya'll. How, in Wilson's short time here, did she become more annoying than Jack Knife, Chris Concord, and Mr. Late Nite all together? A small list of things that I notice about Laura Wilson here folks: One, she doesn't have her facts straight...Two, she still has that crazy notion of getting back at Simply Awesome, when Rancid could decimate her with his pinky finger...Three, she's living in an "alien world"...Four..."

**The scene flashes to a cut of Laura Wilson's "Spiritual Talk"...**

{Laura Wilson's speech} "So you die now or die later, and if you don't choose by the time Cold Day In Hell arrives, then I'll have to choose for you to die now....because if you die now then Melanie Rob, Matt and I don't have to worry about Fish.  For us the less, the merrier!  One less enchilada for us to throw away.  You know.  One less poodle at the pound.  I can keep going with these puns forever.  One less piece of litter on the ground, but to save my breath."

{C.E.O. Matt Fisher} "What in the almighty realm of hell was that? What the heck is she smokin' to get those shit for brains word plays? I pray to God she doesn't go on with those puns, because I'll beat the heck out of her just for that. Screw the legality of it all, and the fact that I'm supposed to be a fair staff member, I'll shut her mouth for good if she doesn't stop with the stupid jokes. And uh...yeah...that whole die now or die later thing...*whoosh* over my head folks. That made no sense to me, or to any of you watching that terrible waste of air time I'm sure. Well folks, I'm off to The City of Angels in California, so until I see you at Cold Day in Hell, treasure my presence, and don't smoke what the man in front of your door gives you."

**The outro theme begins as Derian laughs his ass off...Rancid is containing a few chuckles as well. The scene fades to "DRWF Classics" as Derian keeps laughing and the scene fades out. It fades in to a picture of Seth Calvert hanging the posters he acquired earlier. One is of Matt Budai, another is of Rob Budai, still another is one saying "MORDER HUNDE FOR LIFE!", and there's another one with Three Question Marks on it. He sets them up...and downs a glass bottle of milk. What is he preparing to do???**

FADE OFF TILL NEXT TIME...

OLD SCHOOL EMPIRE(That's the C.E.O. in the last picture folks...not the commissioner)

This roleplay copyrighted by Seth Calvert, (C)August 2001, All Rights Reserved. Remember these two things: 1. E-fedding is a hobby, not a lifestyle, so treat it...or don't treat it...as such. 2. If any of this has been stolen in any way, shape, or form, I'll find you, and file suit. Have a Nice Day...Class Dismissed.