Derek Mobley: I see you were able to stay busy while I was in there…you didn’t have to wait out here, you know, you could’ve come back there.

Warrick Hill: Why? So I could watch that doctor cup your balls and ask you to cough? No friggin way…so, everything check out okay?

Derek Mobley: Sure did, I’m as healthy as a horse…you should really get a check up yourself…I always like to get them after a tough match, you know, to make sure everything is working the way it should.

Warrick Hill: No thanks, I’m pretty sure the doctor will find something wrong with me if I went…then he’d tell me crazy stuff like I need to stop drinking and smoking…fuck that, I don’t need that kind of stress in my life.

~Derek shakes his head…Warrick lifts up his paper and shows it to Derek~

Warrick Hill: Check it out, this is the outline of my latest project, what do you think?

~Derek takes the paper from Warrick and examines it…he notices that all the lines are crooked and jagged due to the uneven surface of the title belt Warrick was drawing on…Derek flips the paper around, showing it to Warrick~

Derek Mobley: Dude, the lines are all crooked and shit…you can’t even tell what this is supposed to be…it looks like some kind of messed up line chart.

~Warrick rips the paper out of Derek’s hand, folds it neatly, and places it into his pocket. He stands up, flings his title belt over his shoulder and power walks out of the office…Derek follows him…Warrick makes his way out of the large building the doctor’s office was located inside…conveniently on the first floor…Derek follows immediately after him, Derek catches up with Warrick~

Derek Mobley: Look, I didn’t mean to insult the idea or anything…it was just that the drawing was very pre-schoolerish…but, listen, I’m very interested in what your project is…so…could you, like, tell me?

~Warrick stops and pulls his paper out…he looks at it again, with a different perspective and then begins to rip it up…he looks at Derek and speaks~

Warrick Hill: I guess you’re right…that drawing is a piece of crap…no worries, I have the entire concept embedded in my brain. You see, when that realtor told me the land was haunted…I took a negative and spun it into a positive. I’m going to build a Haunted House on that property…you know, one of those attractions people go to during the Halloween season? I’m going to build one of those damn things and turn a killer profit!

Derek Mobley: Wait a minute…are you serious or are you just messing with me…I’m finding it kinda hard to tell…

Warrick Hill: Oh no, man…I’m very serious…this idea is gold…solid gold…I may even be able to recoup the entire amount of the purchase by the end of the month…think about it, this will be, without a doubt, the scariest haunted house in the area…who can compete with a haunted house that features REAL ghosts??

Derek Mobley: Nobody can…you wanna know why? Because it’s a HORRIBLE idea…sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen, Warrick.

Warrick Hill: Nah, man…cause they won’t know it’s haunted, I’ll just pass it off as special effects. Trust me, this is going to work.

Voice: Hey! Nice belt, Loser!

~Derek and Warrick turn to spot a overly tanned guy with his collar popped, laughing at his remark made towards Warrick, thinking he’s some nerd carrying a title for no reason. He is a few feet from Warrick, about to walk past him…he has an attractive girl around his arm. Warrick looks at Derek and slowly removes the title from his shoulder…as the guy is about to walk past Warrick, Warrick lunges at him, smashing the solid gold plate of the title belt into the guys face. The guy falls flat on the ground, on his back…his nose is cracked at the bridge and blood if slowing freely from both nostrils…we also see some tooth debris littered across a small opening of his bottom lip with blood slowly soaking the outer skin of his lip…the girl goes to one knee, immediately to check on him. Warrick brushes off his title and looks back at Derek, Derek speaks~

Derek Mobley: I’m pretty sure this is the worse idea you’ve ever had, Warrick and I don’t want to be anywhere near this certain catastrophe. So, best of luck with your endeavor… especially getting a permit that will allow you to run a haunted house on top of haunted land.

Warrick Hill: Permit? You mean I have to get permission to do this?

Derek Mobley: I’m pretty sure you do…but, hey, that’s all you buddy…like I said, I’m bowing out of this one…I’ll see you at Inferno.

~Derek walks off, heading towards his Civic which can be spotted in the distance. Warrick stands there, alone for a second, thinking things through…he looks down and sees a crowd gathered around the unconscious guy whom Warrick laid out earlier…Warrick kneels down and taps the attractive female on the shoulder, she looks up with concern painted on her face~

Warrick Hill: Hey, do you know where I would go and get a permit to build a haunted house at?

Attractive Girl: I believe that’s up to the city of Shreveport…their offices are downtown.

~The Attractive Girl wipes a few tears away as she divulges this information, Warrick reaches into his pocket and pulls out some Kleenex, he hands it over to the girl, she takes it and wipes her eyes dry~

Warrick Hill: Would you mind showing me? I’ve got this big, huge project in the works and I need to get a building permit ASAP.

Attractive Girl: But…you knocked out my boyfriend…

Warrick Hill: Oh, come on…the guy is a total stooge…look at the hair, the fake tan, the popped collar…don’t sit there and tell me you were planning on spending the rest of your life with this tool. He got what he deserved…trust me, I’m cooler than this guy…I’m bigger and stronger than this guy…he just finally got called out on his shit…I did him a favor, you know…he’s going to wake up in some hospital room with a tube down his throat and he’s gonna think “man, what I did was wrong…I am now humbled…” and he’s gonna go on and prosper. In the meantime, this gives you a chance to re-evaluate your relationship…

Attractive Girl: Yea, but…

Warrick Hill: Hey, no worries…if you still want to rush back to him you can…look, he’s out of it, he’s not going to know you’re gone. If you stay with him, there’s gonna be that uncomfortable ride in the ambulance where the nerdy wannabe doctors will hit on you…then you’re going to have to explain to his family what happened, his mom will probably hate you for this and give you go-to-hell looks the entire time. When he wakes up, after hours and hours of being unconscious, all of which you’re going to feel obligated to stay there for, he’s going to want to ask you how he looks, which is going to force you to lie and say he looks great. Lying, as we all know, is a sin with God and after you lie, you’re going to have to go to church to cleanse yourself of that mortal sin…while at church, the good Lord is going to bless you with an epiphany of ‘Why am I with this guy…look what he does to me, he makes me lie, he makes me sin against God”…this will then convince you that he’s no good for you and the relationship must end. So…you see, why go through all this when you can come with me now and save yourself the trouble?

~The Girl is at a loss for words…Warrick takes the lead, he gently takes her by the hand and rises to his feet, she follows suit…he then escorts her through the decent sized crowd that has gathered around her injured boyfriend…they walk out to the parking lot, hand in hand…one member of the crowd can be heard saying “Was that this guy’s girlfriend??” However, nobody calls Warrick out…Warrick and the girl reach the parking lot…Warrick pulls out a pack of cigarettes and points the open end towards the girl, she declines, Warrick pulls a cigarette out and places it in his mouth, he lights it up and begins smoking. The girl stands there, awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say, Warrick speaks~

Warrick Hill: Oh, hey, where’s your car, I’m gonna need a ride.

Attractive Girl: I didn’t bring my car, I drove Aaron’s car…

Warrick Hill: Even better…

~Before she can protest, Warrick urges her ahead and she leads him to Aaron’s car. It is a silver Celica…she unlocks it and they get in, she starts it up and they begin driving…Warrick has his window down and is puffing away…he ashes his cigarette wherever he likes, not worried about the repercussions…the girl decides to turn some music on…we hear the soothing tunes of Santana hit the speakers…this nabs Warrick’s attention, he makes a comment~

Warrick Hill: You know, I get to kick his ass this Friday

~Warrick points at the speaker, ashes fly everywhere, as he makes this comment~

Attractive Girl: Santana? But isn’t he like sixty years old??

Warrick Hill: Well, not the singer…this wrestler named Robert Santana, I guess I should’ve made myself clearer.

Attractive Girl: Oh, so you’re a real wrestler…see, Aaron thought you were one of those pretend internet nerds.

Warrick Hill: Nope, I’m as real as they come…I just won this title last Sunday in an epic Tag Team Title match…this week, I compete by myself against this Santana guy…I don’t really know much about him, he’s won a few titles, I think, but nothing major. Should be fun.

Attractive Girl: Don’t you, I don’t know, like train for any of this?

Warrick Hill: I guess you could, if you really wanted to, Derek does a lot of training, he’s my tag team partner…but we’re only partners in the ring, not in real life…just a little FYI there. I’ve never really had to train, I’ve always been blessed with so much natural, God Given ability that training has never been an issue. Guys like Robert Santana, they’re probably in the dojo doing Karate Kid type shit, calling Ralph Macchio so they can hope to be the best around, where nothing is ever gonna keep them down.

Attractive Girl: Oh, wow, I love that movie…Ralph Macchio is so cute in it!!

Warrick Hill: Really? Wasn’t he like fifteen in that movie?? Way to be a cradle rocker.

Attractive Girl: Robber…Cradle Robber…and, I doubt it, you know, it was the 80s, teen actors were like thirty something back then.

Warrick Hill: Nah, I go with Rocker…cause you know that saying “If this Van’s a Rockin, Don’t come a Knockin”…just kinda mixed that with Cradle Robber and came up with Cradle Rocker…it’s more my style. But, yea, Cradle issues aside, I’m going to beat the hell out of Robert Santana this Friday at Inferno based solely on the talents that I possess and, sadly for him, he doesn’t.

Attractive Girl: Wow, you are quite the Alpha Male…aren’t you…

~Warrick looks over and notices that Attractive Girl is finally coming around…her inhibitions towards him have all but vanished…he smiles, nods her way and pulls out a long, fat joint~

Warrick Hill: I’m digging the vibe you’re putting out…what’s say you help me burn this spliff and see where that takes us…

~Attractive Girl takes one hand off the steering wheel and moves it towards Warrick’s thigh…her fingers gently brush across his thigh as they move towards the lighter installed in the car and slowly push it in, to activate the inner heat…Warrick looks up at her and says “fuck yea”…she winks at him and we fade to black~