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Crackhead Applications

Don't be a crackhead and apply to the Warzone if you suck like these guys!


*In this mail sent to me, this guy wanted to join us as the Sandman, well I let him join, but he just went down hill from this sample roleplay

Wrestler: The Sandman (From ECW)*Dam No shit Sherlock, I knew he was from the ECW!
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 240 lbs.
Hometown: Philadelphia, PA
Finsher: Singapore Cane, or suplex a table on their head,*Hold up, how the fuck do you suplex a table on their head??? or wrap his body in barbed wire to create a human barbed wire battering ram.
Famous Quote: " I'm a animal and Damn Proud of it!"*Thats not anything to be proud of buddy
Sence:*Check that spelling buddy! The music drops to a beat and Sandman walks out wit his Singapore cane raised high above.
King:You know what this means, this fed is goin' to be chaos wit this animal around.*False there King, he may have caused some heavy duty chaos sitting down on the crapper when he was to roleplay
J.R.: Well your right he is an animal and he likes to be hardcore, Lets see what he has to say.
Sandman: I like to say i would be a great part of this fed becaues i am hardcore and i like to be a hardcore champion at this very fed. I also would say this i am dat dam good and i also am at the stage of rippin' peoples heads off, and drangin there bodies aroud the ring. I think that i will be a great part of this fed by givin' beatings to everybody and my cane would be a great part to by have the blood of a wrestler all over it and drippin' form it.
King: Oooo my god this man is a nuts!*If only he had a set of nuts!
Sandman: I guarantee that i will beat any one that goes for the hardcore title, and u know why caues I'm a animal and danm prond of it!*Oh yes we know, your a big bad animal and your ohhh soo proud of it, moron.
Sence: Sandman throws the mic and walks away wit his head raised high.
J.R.: WOW! I think that he's not kiddin' he's wants that hardcore title and he will do just about anything to get it.
King: You mean J.R. he will do anything to get it? Well there u have it the sandman and his words.*Well if you ask me, those words absolutely sucked King!


*Now as if that wasn't bad enough, the guy sends yet another application in.

The Sandman
Height:6'3
Weight: 240 lbs.
Where wrestler is from:Philadelphia, Pa
Finsher: Singapore Cane, or suplex a table on their head, or wrap his body in barbed wire to create a human barbed wire battering ram.
Quote: "Politically Incorrect and Damn Proud of it!"*Geez, make your mind up what your quotes gonna be!
Sence:*I noticed you still can't spell, better get hooked on phonics! the music playes and Sandman walks out.
Sandman grabs the mic.
Sandman: Well I am a Hardcore kind of guy and I likes to wrestle. I want to join your fed becaues i heard that your fed is a good organized fed, Well, thats what Justin Credible told me. Let my introduce my self I am a hard rolyplayer and i am a Mad man, when it comes to roleplay.*Sure buddy, Uh Huh, ok, shut up! I was in ECW federation but People were quiting and it started to get gay*It got gay?? You sure that wasn't just you? so my man Justin told me about your fed and i was liking it when he told me all bout how you fire peolpe if they don't roleplay long enough and if you give me the chance. i garantee*Look at this spelling, tsk, tsk, tsk. that i will kick some ass during my time with your federation. I would also like to say that i am an animal and damn prond of it. And another thing I would also like to join the Corperate Ministry, thats if you would like me to, caues if you do i also garentee that i am a hardcore madman and i would roleplay more and more to bad mouth people and prove that i am a part of the Corperate Ministry by how well my roleplayin' is. So shane would you give me a chance wrestling at your federation. Me myself sandman are unstopable, and we will have good roleplays' to win as many matches as possible and i know i can loss matches but that fine becaues sandman aint no quiter i will roleplay more and more to get the gold or win a match.
J.R.:WOW! THis guy wants in.*Wow, this guy sucks ass!
KIng: I have bee watchin' a couple of his match as a ecw wrestler and he is a good trash talker or as you say J.R. good roleplayer.*Not really King, this Sandman does nothing but sit on the crapper all day, he sucks!
Sandman: Shane i can only give you my best roleplay work caues i garenteed you a madman with alot of experince. So, shane as you know my roleplay is all most done here*Blah, Blah, Blah, your roleplay this, your roleplay that, SHUT THE HELL UP! and if you don't give me a chance Well, you will loss something that could have powerd up your federation and made your fed more hardcore.*Um, not really buddy This is all the time i have so if you want me tahn thats great and you don't you will regret it.Um, sorry buddy, I don't want ya, and I sure as hell ain't regretting it!
King: there u have the man with a lot of feelings. Jr: This guy would be a great part of this fed i know this. Sence: The music starts to play a Sandman walks out with his head raised high.*Lower that head YOU SUCK!

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*Ok, now this next crackhead actually wanted to join as, get this, Juvenile, the rapper, lmao!

(The lights go out) (pyros shoot from under the titon tron as Juvenile walks out and makes his way to the squared circle wearing a Ricky Waters Shirt)* I thought it was Ricky Williams? The one that plays for New Orleans. The crowd goes crazy JR: My god its juvenile, he is back my god whats gonna happen *Oh good sweet lord!! He's back, but who really cares??? So what he's back, whats he gonna do hit us with some more of that Ha? Juvenile stands in the ringas the fans chant his name, Juve...Juve...Juve.*Sucks....Sucks...Sucks! Juvenile: It is great to be back in my home town of New Orleans... Its been a long time but Juvenile is back in the XWWF and im here to stay. I have noticed for the past couple weeks this placed has needed a little spark well i am that spark thats gonna start the fire back up for the XWWF. Even though i am wihtout my tag team partner kane i will still be one of the greatest tag team and suicidle champ ever to trapce across the XWWF. Now i here the phat ass Rakishi out here wanting a challenge well he has just go one. ME!. he came oout here thinking he was gonna get a easy match with some no name jobber off the streets*Wow,a jobber....from the streets...sounds just like ya! well he got a lot more than he bargoned for, me and rakishi on Smackdown...BUT.. i am making it a little harder...this will be a hardcore match...my specialty. Oh and one more thing i'd like to add to this match...it will be a IRONMAN match thats right ironman. 60 min. of non stop hard core ass kicking from juve. *Sorry Juve, but I highly doubt your skinny rapping ass could last a full 60 minutes in the ring. (The crowd goes wild) And finally one more thing...When i left the XWWF i was after the world title...well nothin has changed i am still after the title but this rakishi match is just a warm up. Now hit my music!!!! (I got that fire plays as Juvenile walks to the garage and he hops in his 2000 Lexus Coupe and pulls away!!)*Gee Buddy, where the hell is juveniles Stats??? Like how tall he is, his weight, ya know!!??

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*Ok now this next crackhead unfortunatley, I actually allowed into the fed.....big mistake!!! He sucked fat monkey balls!!! And to top his crappy roleplays off, this guy actually thought he was the best in the fed! What a fucking joke this guy is or....was. Check him out.

wrestlers Name: New Jack
Height: 6' 0"
Weight: 225 lbs.
Where wrestlers from: Atlanta, GA
Finisher: A consummate brawler, New Jack creates his own personal brand of violence, entering the ring with a trash can full of weapons to pummel his opponents. Fearless, he will ascend to the highest point of the Arena, often the balcony, and dive off, from heights sometimes as great as 20 feet high, suicidally crashing down onto his victims.*What the hell is this??? This isn't a finisher. Ah....I see you just copied this straight from the Official ECW site, dumbass.
Famous Quote: "Not Guilty!"*Actually, you're guilty of several things, lying for one thing, and your found guilty of SUCKING very badly at roleplaying!
Scene: New Jack walks out wit his head rasied high and grabs the mic.*Irony? His head raised high?? Coincednce?? No, its true, its true, New Jack was the same guy as the Sandman, different screen name.
Newjack: I would like to join this fed caues people have told me alot about this fed and i want to become a great part of this federation. I think if i join this fed I will become a better roleplayer and i will work harder to get were I want to get.*Well I let you join, but you sure as hell didn't get any better buddy! I garentee you that I will roleplay long enough and I will work hard with my rolepalys.*I don't like broken guarentees buddy. Shane I am asking you for a chance, and I also will garentee you that I will be a hard core madman and i will become hardcore champion. I will work hard to get the hard core chance that I want and i will try and try my very hardest to reach my goal.*Try, try, try again, cus YOU SUCK! I also would like to be a great part of the corperate ministry If thats fine with you that would be cool becaues you would have a hardcore person to take caer of your dudity. When i was in the other fed i was one of the best roleplayers in the fed*Wow, I bet that fed wasn't around long and i was hardcore champion for a while and i was a tagteam champion for a while to. I would be a good person for this fed caues i would be the only person walking down the isle with a trash can full of wepons.*Gee, that sounds like something Mankind/Cactus jack would do dummie So shane peasle*Peasle???? give me a chance to join your extreme fed. There is nothing' to say i think i have said it all so my speach is done here.*Thank God, shit I was just about ready to fall asleep after reading your boring shit. Scene:*Wow! You spelled scene right finally!! NewJack walks out with his head rasied high and the fans chanting his name NEWJACK !NEWJACK!*Sucks! Sucks! Sucks!

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Now this next guy wanted to join the fed as Kane. Kane, now come on now, just by knowing his character everyone will know that you will suck!! Kane doesn't speak!!! Why would anybody wanna join an e-fed as kane, thats stupid as hell. Well check this guy out anyway.

Can I join as Kane.*Are you kidding??? I'd like to see you try to roleplay as him just once buddy... Name: Kane
Height: 7'
Weight: 326 pounds
From: Unknown
Finishing Move: Tombstone Piledriver
Famous Quote: You will feel my wrath.
*Fell your wrath??? Feel what wrath?? And since when did you start talking?? These are a few of my roleplay Samples:
*Gee, thats nice, too bad your joining as kane, it would be nice to see a roleplay as Kane. Rock GT who the hell do you think you are?*Who the hell is Rock GT?? T2K what the hell do you think your doing? Rock GT you just come back and expect to get a title shot? I don't know if you and T2K are best friends or something, but..... Who the F**k do you think you are? I know I haven't been in the CWF that long but I think you need to give Rikishi or Y2J a title shot because they earned it. But Crock Gt definetly does not earn a title or even a No. 1 contendership match cos basically he ain't good enough. Listen to me jackasses*Oooo, harsh words man! the dudes with attitudes will get stronger if only Pete H puts in every body willing to join. Now put them all in and then The NEW ERA will start getting weaker by the minute. And Chris Benoit you better watch out cos I'm coming for ya!*Uh Oh, I'm scared!
Now robot man*What the hell kinda character is robot man?? Is he like the dude from Lost in space? on the rp board you hit me with a chair before I could speak so on Smackdown we will go 1 on 1 in a first person to do the other persons finisher match and if anyone interferes they will have to run The Dudes With Attitude gautlet on heat.*Oh boy, big trouble!!! After The Big Show drops the mic Benoit's music hits and comes through the crowd holding a chair. Benoit waits for The Big Show to turn around then crashes him over the head with the chair knocking The Big Show off his feet. He then starts celebrating on the turnbuckle when suddenly The Big Show gets up and hits the Showstopper from the top rope. Then leaves.*Wow, what action....Zzzzzz Zzzzz
Now T2K on the Raw isWar card it said that I would have a match with robot man for the European belt. Now seeing as the robot is so crap he probably already has a match on Jakked, so on Heat it will be Big Show Vs Chris Benwhite*Benwhite??? Is thathis real name or do you just have a problem typing? in a no holds barred match not, I repeat not for the Europe belt but if you win I will play you again on Raw for the belt but if I win I get a No. 1 contendership match against anyone I want how about it Chris Benshite.*Ohh, ok, its Chris Benshit, I got it now, thanks for clearing that up, Benshit.
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Now here this next bastard was too dumb to check out the roster before applying, because if he would have saw it, he would have noticed that we already had a Big Poppa Pump. And at that, all he sent was the stats, no sample roleplay, nada.

name::::::::::: Big Papa pump height::::::::: 6' 2''
weight::::::::: 268
from::::::::::: michigan
finisher::::::: steiner recliner
favorite quote: BRING IT ON!*Well buddy, I have never heard him say that ever, I always thought his quote was "Big Poppa Pump is ya' hook up, holla if ya' hear me!", so maybe you might wanna get your shit straight.
p.s.-----i'm sending my roleplay seprate*Ok....so were the hell is it at??? I ain't seein it buddy, so don't come back again, now holla if ya hear me!!

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This next crackhead was in the fed for awhile, but he had some problems, I heard he had to have surgery to get his ass closed shut, and he went away. And he sent me mail, look at this fool.

first of all i am back from vacation and no i really was on vacation and wy the hell am i a homo sexual*First off, so your back, how's your ass? Did they manage to seal it shut? Can you shit ok now? And second off, your a homo sexual for many reasons, one being that you got your ass ripped open when you got fucked up the ass and also you went around asking other members of the fed if you could give them head. I'd have to call you a straight homo sexual BITCH! So stay the fuck out and away PUNK!

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This next guy is by far thee biggest crackhead ever to grace God's green Earth!! Well, maybe not, but he is thee biggest crackhead to ever grace my mail box! This guy sent, noy one, not two, but THREE different applications! And each and everyone sucked!! This had to be the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life, give this guy a look and try not to hurt yourself laughing at his dumbass.

Wrestlers Name real tazz
(If fake, please include a desription of what your character looks like and if they are heel/face and how your character's personailty is like)
Height 6"5*Holy Shit!! Tazz grew 7 inches overnight!! Its amazing!! I guess that miracle grow really does work.
Weight 160*Jesus Christ!! This guy grows taller, but becomes anorexic as well!! Man these stats are way off, I mean dam, I weigh more than watch you put down as his weight!
Where wrestlers from brooklen *Well it doesn't look as though you can spell either, must suck to be you buddy.
Finisher taz mission*Dam, he finally got one of the stats other than his name correct!! Its a miracle!!! There is a God!!! Thank you!!
Famous Quotei am the human suplex machine*Oh, so you think your the human suplex machine huh? Well I think "The Mood is about to change" buddy!
a sample roleplay which will decide if your qualified to join Only the best are allowed in the warzone Sample must be at least 30 lines long*Notice how it says sample rp must be at least 30 lines long....lets see how he does....
I am tazz and i am the greatest wrestler that ever waz born. I can beat every one in the world ,because i grew up on the streets and beat every buddies ass expecilly little puny punks that talk trash.I can beat any one in the world and any body in the wrestling federations.As soon as you get me pissed you will pay after you get locked in to the tazz mission.And if i join i am going to be the world heavy weight champion of the world cause i am the baddest man you will ever meat in the world so just watch who you are talking to*Survey says......YOU SUCK!!!!

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Wait wait wait, where not done yet, this guy still has TWO more applications that he sent in. Do you think you can handle it???

Wrestlers Name real chris jericho
Height 6"5*6'5" ain't, thats way off once again man, are you using the proper measurement system as us or what?
Weight 155*Now come on now, Jericho weighs more than that buddy.....wait, I think I got it, your using your weight as his weight ain't!! Thats it!!
Where wrestlers from canada
Finisher double power bomb*Man, you just fuck up everything don't you, you can't even get his finisher right, its the Walls of Jericho dickass!
Famous Quote Dont ever ever mess wit y2j*Man don't make me fucking laughing man, you don't no shit about wrestling, lets just face it.
a sample roleplay which will decide if your qualified to join Only the best are allowed in the warzone Sample must be at least 30 lines long*Gee, once again, clear as day it says the sample rp has to be at least 30 lines, lets see how he does this time.
I am chris jricho and i can beat any one in this fed and in the world cause i am chris jericho.i can putyou through hell by delivering you a double powerbomb and then the walls of jericho.Because i am Y2J.*First off, woopee dee, your Y2J, and with thee shittest and suckest roleplays like that you'd never beat anybody!

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Check out this funny convo between our Jericho and him:

Hadjmo: hey buddy
Badazz4eva2000: who are you
Hadjmo: im jericho in warzone
Hadjmo: u signed an application for him
Badazz4eva2000: so why did you email me
Hadjmo: i didnt
Badazz4eva2000: or i m me
Hadjmo: i just wanted to let u know that u r the greatest jericho ever and u should be him instead of me
Hadjmo: that sample r/p was superb
Hadjmo: and ur stats were off the wall
Hadjmo: really u could beat me any day of the week
Badazz4eva2000: who are you
Hadjmo: jericho in warzone u signed up as him but im already him
Hadjmo: ill tell the prez u can replace me since ur so great
Badazz4eva2000: really
Hadjmo: no u suck never come to our fed again


This guy is a trip, and he still isn't done, he sent one last application yet as Kane, check this shit out.

Wrestlers Name Kane
Height6'7"*Wow, that ALMOST correct, keep trying, your bound to get it someday bud.
Weight 175*Ok, you just made the stupidest ass out of yourself, I mean we're talking about Kane here, your a good 150-200 pounds off dumbass, geez!
Where wrestlers from umknown
Finisher tombstone
Famous Quote none
a sample roleplay which will decide if your qualified to join Only the best are allowed in the warzone Sample must be at least 30 lines long*Ok, this is the third time now, he has had to have seen that the sample rp has to be 30's by now, either that or this guy has some serious eye problems.
I AM KANE AND I AM GOING TO BE THE BEST IN THE WARZONE FED.I AM GOING TO BEAT EVERY ONE THAT COMES MY WAY.I AM GOING TO PUT ANY ONE THAT STANDS IN MY WAY THROUGH HELL BY FIRST BEATING HIS ASS.THENGIVING THEM A CHOKESLAM.THEN I AM GOING TO END IT BY DELIVERING THE TOMBSTONE WHICH IS MY FINISHER.THEN I AM GOING TO PIN YOUR SORRY LITTLE ASS.SO DON'T EVER STAND IN THE WAY OF KANE OTHER WISE YOU ARE GOING TO PAY THE PRICE.*Man, your sample roleplays are the worst thing I've ever seen in my fucking life!!! Stay the fuck out and never come back with that shit man. Check out this second convo Jericho had with him under a different screen name:

MJDUBYK: hey buddy
Badazz4eva2000: who are you
MJDUBYK: im austin in warzone
Badazz4eva2000: oh
MJDUBYK: u had like the greatest application for kane i have ever seen before
Badazz4eva2000: i did
MJDUBYK: u could be next champ
MJDUBYK: it was so great
MJDUBYK: i loved it
MJDUBYK: i mean the way hes 175lbs
MJDUBYK: sure adds the touch
MJDUBYK: and hes 6"7 was superb
MJDUBYK: and the rp, one of the greats
Badazz4eva2000: how come i aint there
MJDUBYK: so who r u gonna challenge first
MJDUBYK: the prez hasnt had time to add u yet
MJDUBYK: he said u were great
MJDUBYK: who r u gonna challenge?
Badazz4eva2000: i dunno
MJDUBYK: well whoever u challenge could easily beat u
MJDUBYK: even if its new jack whose the worst could beat u
MJDUBYK: ur 1 with kane was worse than jerichos
MJDUBYK: the prez and i both want u to stay away from the fed 4ever
Badazz4eva2000: so i g2g
Badazz4eva2000: seriously
MJDUBYK: yeh u g2g away from the fed 4ever
MJDUBYK: yeh seriously
MJDUBYK: c ya buddy
*Gee its amzing, after that I haven't heard from him since. Damn crackheads!


Next Victim, well I mean next crackhead! Now this guy sent in an application as Edge and Christian, and he said that he was SOOOOO qualified. Well by looking at his sample roleplay I would say that he is SOOOOO not cool man and that he SOOOO badly sucks monkey balls it isn't funny.

I want Edge and Christian
Height:6'2''
weight: 240 lbs
From: Ontario, Canada
Finisher: Spear/impaler
quote: That i sooooooo totally uncool*Well dude, SOOOO weres like the others stats at man, I know that they don't like weigh the same weight and their like SOOO not the same height and stuff dude.
Manager:Tori
Sample RP
Tazz is looking for pure trouble! Monday, 24-Jul-2000 23:30:46 205.188.200.175 writes:
King Kurt: Tazz, lately your non-intelligence mouth has been saying a lot. The first mistake is you don't want to trash talk Angle because you can't walk the talk fat little man! You know I will be dancing around taht ring victorius.. and then later on.. Your Olympic hero and IC Champ will go on to grab the WWF Gold! And that my friends... is true! So Tazz you and your horrible move you stole from Ted Dibase won't be put on me!Instead I will use my 3 I's to beat you. And since you steal my catchphrase you "thug" I will have to give you the Olympic Slam! {Thank thank you as Kurt waves and leaves} _________> a look at your next WWF Champion! *Dude, that sample roleplay was like SOOOO bad man, it like SOOO sucked , and your like SOOOO not excepted into the Warzone. SOOO take your ass out of here.

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*Another new crackhead to add to the list!! This guy wanted to join as Stone Cold Steve Austin, but this Austin just couldn't cut it. He must have had one to many steveweisers while writing his sample roleplay. Check this fool out.

WRESTLE'S NAME:STONE COLD
HEIGHT:5'3*Well Jesus Christ!! What happened to Austin??? Did somebody shrink him?? Or is this just his midget twin??
WEIGHT:200*Man, it just pisses me off when someone fucks the stats up as bad as these crackheads...
WHERE FROM:AUSTIN TEXAS*Dammit, its VICTORIA, TEXAS, stooge!
FINISHER: STONE COLD STUNNER
FAMOUS QUOTE: AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE BECAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO
SAMPKE*Sampke? Is that German? Reminds me of a German beer. RP: I CHALLENGE THE PIECE OF TRASH Y2J TO A MATCH FOR THE TITLE AND I WILL OPEN A CAN OF WHOOP A** ON HIM BECAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO*Wow, not only is Jericho NOT the champ, but you will NOT be getting any sort of title shot, whatsoever cus you suck! Well, maybe I'll reconsider that and give you a shot at the Official Crackhead title!! Gee, I notice that I respond with more than these guys put in their sample roleplays, thats pretty pathetic! Also a word of advise to ya Austin, try laying off the beer when your on the computer, ok!

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