-As I write this, many emotions plague me. I wonder, why I do the things I do. Why don't I go with my heart, rather than my mind, and the mind of others at times. Leslie Anne Bond. You have touched my life in more ways than one can imagine. You brought happiness to a down individual. You were able to bring me something that I usually struggled to keep...confidence. Your smile, your cuteness, your brightness, and your personality can't be matched. You saw me as me, not a punk, rich, preppy jerk as many others view me. You respected me, something I feel not many understand that I take seriously.
We've been through alot in the past months. So much happiness. In turn, so much sadness and pain. Waiting was something I regret. Waiting in turn changed things. Waiting caused me to somewhat over bear myself over losing you. Infact, I had never done that. You were so much to me, I couldn't phathom the thought of losing you.
When things looked "up"....things were great. But...maybe I was just to careful about things. Rather than living the moment, I tried to gain shear perfection. Trying to find a "term" for what we really were...something will forever regret. I wanted so much not to disapoint you. But my own apprehensiveness got the best of me. Lots of people asked me about us. I did not, under any circumstances want to call us more than we were. We were kinda going out, *us*, or together. Labeling it could have led to anything, but I didn't wanna say something w/o your consent. I talked to others, and others asking really got to me. That night, when asking, I ended up losing the touch of reality. Paying the ultimate due goes with anything you want. Paying so soon, Paying so late, there is no known time for it.
I loved you, you loved me. So quick, so sudden. Change. Like a light switch, it changed. Like a giant shaking the world upside down, it changed. I can't complain. It was my fault. Lessons are learned. Lessons will be focused on in the future. Mistakes will be capitalized. Wishing is not getting, but actions speak louder than words.
Leslie, even though we are now "friends", I wish you the best. You still mean A LOT to me. What the future has for the both of us is undecided. I wish you complete happiness, and relief of all the demons of the past. You will make someone truly happy one day. I just hope that person realizes how special you are. In turn, I hope they don't do what I did...loose you over something simple, yet stupid. Moving on, looking into the new. Believe me when I say this, no one will ever match you.