But while the man may look a little different, much remains the same. This was a man who was viciously attacked and put out of action by AJ Riot. He has properly healed and is ready to get back to business...but before he can do that, revenge must be taken, and one roadblock stands in his way, Thankskilling and Team Queen. In order to pass through this roadblock into his revenge match with AJ Riot...he must team with his mortal enemy for the greater good. The preparation begins...
Rev: All these years, one thing has never changed...he's always there. He's always my opposite, always at odds. Dax fucking Clark. Here we are again, him and me. And when Thankskilling is over...he will once again be defeated by my hand!
JD: Wait a minute...you're not facing Dax Clark...he's kinda like your teammate dude.
Rev: No way man, that doesn't sound like me!
JD: It's true. It just happened last week, how can you not remember?
Rev: I don't even remember you guys coming over!
JD: Do the words "Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy" mean anything to you?
Rev: I couldn't even pronounce it! Should they mean something?
JD: If you don't know by now, it's probably too late. So what do you remember?
Rev: Something about being invited to Thanksgiving Dinner with AJ Riot...
JD: Wrong! Thankskilling...pay per view for IWS. You have a match...against Team Queen. You'll be on Team Clark.
Rev: Who's Team Clark?
JD: You, Aiden Cash, Ryan Sharpe and JT Starr.
Rev: I don't like any of them bastards...why would I agree to side with them?
JD: Ok...I'm not your biographer...fucking think about it!
Rev: Well, I think it's starting to come back to me...
Back in suburban Atlanta, but in black and white this time because it's in the past, and the past looks so much cooler in black and white. Got a problem with that? Go fuck yourself. Anyways, it's black and white, and Rev is sitting on the couch watching TV while his brother, Will grabs a few beers from the kitchen.
Will: Hey Rich, I thought I heard something banging around in the basement, what's going on down there?
Rev: Didn't I tell you this already?
Will: No, I don't think so...
Rev: Then I guess that means it's none of your damn business, doesn't it?
Will: Funny, it's not like I really care anyways, as long as there's not a body tied up down there! Hahahaha, then I might worry.
Revelation sits stonefaced and refuses eye contact
Will: OH MY GOD! You did kidnap AJ Riot, didn't you?!
Rev: Umm...maybe...
Will: Dude! That's a serious felony!
Rev: No it's not, calm down!
Will: Yes it is! You could be imprisoned for 20 years if you get caught.
Rev: I got it covered, I'm a professional wrestler.
Will: What difference does that make?
Rev: Well, no one presses charges as long as you challenge them to a wrestling match afterwards. I've been doing this for years, haven't you ever paid attention?
Will: But...there's no...fuck it. I guess you're right.
Rev: I know I'm right.
Will: So what's the plan then? What are you going to do?
Rev: I haven't decided yet, I'm just kinda winging it right now.
Will: Why would you kidnap him without having a plan in place?!
Rev: I don't fucking know! It's just what you do, I've had him locked up for quite a while now, plenty of time to come up with a plan!
Will: So have you bothered coming up with a plan yet?
Rev: No, but don't worry, something will come together I'm sure.
Will: You're insane. I seriously don't know how you made it this far in life...
Rev: Well listen to you, smart guy! You've been mooching off me for years. If you're so much smarter than me, why don't you come up with one!
Will: You're gonna have to release him at some point. Why don't you make a deal that you'll let him go under the condition that you get your revenge on him at the pay per view?
Rev: That could work! But I know Team Queen won't be happy about it. That might cause problems getting the rematch, not only that they won't agree to it if he's not in shape.
Will: In shape? Even starved and kidnapped, he's gotta be in better shape than you...for someone who was always "too small to make it" - you've let yourself go, fatass!
Rev: I'll be in shape, don't you worry about me!
Will: Do they know it's you? Or do they think it's Hadrian that took him?
Rev: No idea, but they're gonna find out soon enough!
Will: Hmm...so how do we put this together?
Rev: Wait, I've got it! I'll release him...but only under the condition that he gives me a match at Season's Beatings!
Will: That's brilliant...why didn't I think of that? Oh wait...
Rev: That's why I'm the brains of this operation! But there's still the problem of Thankskilling - if I let him go now, Josie and the rest are gonna want a piece of me.
Will: Give it to em!
Rev: I guess I'm ready to come back...couldn't hurt to have a match to warm up for my return bout with Riot...to make him pay for injuring me.
Will: Here's the problem, there's a lot to process here, and if you want it to work, you're going to have to remember all this. Are you capable of doing this?
Rev: Who do you think you're talking to? I'm Rich "Revelation" Juarez here. I got this shit!
Rev cracks open his beer and takes a big drink as the scene fades.
~~~~~~~~~~One Week Ago~~~~~~~~~~
Rev: Well I did it, I freed Riot, I made my pitch, and I got my match!
JD: Glad to hear it...but I watched the show, I didn't see any of that shit.
Rev: Well trust me, it happened.
JD: Maybe you should have submitted a segment, then you'd have had it go down so we all would know what the fuck is going on.
Rev: I was busy.
JD: Drinking?
Rev: That's none of your damn business.
JD: That's what I thought. Shouldn't you be getting in shape for your match though?
Rev: Way ahead of you, since I couldn't do much exercise after my surgery, I made up for it by drinking a ton of those milkshakes!
JD: You mean those protein shakes?
Rev: Um what?
JD: You were drinking regular milkshakes?
Rev: Yeah - same thing, right?
JD: And it didn't seem odd to you in the least that you're ass weighs like twice as much as you did before?
Rev: I don't know, I can't see my ass.
JD: Have you been running?
Rev: I tried, but got tired, passed out in the neighbors yard, then came home and got drunk.
JD: How in the hell do you expect to wrestle?
Rev: It's like riding a bike.
JD: Hey, wait a minute! Isn't Angel Love on Team Clark?
Rev: Last I checked.
JD: Why is she fighting for Team Queen then?
Rev: Huh? Beats the hell out of me. But look at it this way...why am I fighting for Team Clark, I hate Dax and all his cronies. If you start nitpicking this whole thing falls apart!
JD: I suppose you're right...maybe Angel should've submitted a segment too!
Rev: We're a bunch of slackers, what do ya want. It doesn't all have to make sense, haven't you ever watched WWE?
JD: Not since they fucked over the Goat.
Rev: Yeah, what's up with that shit?
Seriously, what was up with that shit? IWS is so much better than WWE right now...but anyway, the scene fades.
JD: Hey! Rich, you there? Hello?!!
Rev: What?
JD: What the fuck were you doing? You were staring off in space for like 10 minutes.
Rev: Yeah, I was trying to remember the last couple weeks.
JD: Must have been a good couple weeks...you got a boner. What the hell were you thinking about?
Rev: Why the hell are you looking?
JD: You know, you had all of last week off, shouldn't you have done all this a lot sooner?
Rev: Yeah, I really should have, but I waited til the last fucking minute like I always do.
JD: So you remember now what's going on for Thankskilling?
Rev: There are still gaps...like why the hell is Angel fighting for the other team...why the hell am I fighting for Clark, but all in all, I think I got it figured out.
JD: Good...now get your fat bearded ass back in ring shape!
Rev: I will...after Thankskilling. But in the mean time...Will, grab us some beers!
Will: Oh sure, I only get my words listed in color right at the end, go figure.
Will gets up, goes to the kitchen, and comes back a couple minutes later with several beers in his arms, he passes them out, then stands next to his brother for a moment, thinks, then finally asks:
Will: I heard some banging noise coming from the basement. What the hell is going on down there?
Rev: I kidnapped someone, remember?
Will: I thought you released AJ Riot last week?!
Rev: Yeah I did...that's someone else.
Will: SOMEONE ELSE?!
The Scene Fades
~~~~~~~~~~Two Weeks Ago~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~Back to the Present, and back in technicolor!~~~~~~~~~~