[An explosion of pyro lights up the arena as Chris Roysten steps out into the arena and Somebodys Gotta Feel This by Kid Rock blares on the PA.]
PA System - SOMEBODYS GOTTA FEEL THIS!!!
Jerry Ross - There he is! HI CHRIS!
Michael Mole - HI THERE!
Jim Lawler - HELLO!
All - WE LOVE YOU!
A.N. Ownser - He is the one and only...CHRIS ROYSTEN!!! (Deafening cheers ****************)
[Chris acknowledges the fans and walks to the ring. Roysten climbs in through the second rope signals the fans once more. (cheers ********)]
Jerry Ross - This is going to be a very tight match. Both men know what's at stake, each want the King of the Ring title and the glory. I couldn't say which is going to win...mainly because I've been sworn to secrecy.
DING! DING! DING!
[Both men walk up to each other, toe-to-toe. Both eye up their opponent.]
Jim Lawler - Come on!! Hit each other already!
[Roysten says something to PSM, MacKenzie replies and extends his hand. Chris Roysten looks at the outstretched hand and puts his forward. The two men grasp hands and shake before stepping back and circling the ring.]
Jerry Ross - Now THAT'S what the SWF is about! Quality wrestling with genuine respect!
Jim Lawler - So you're saying a 413 pound man with serious heart problems and seedy night-time activities, is respected?
Jerry Ross - Well...
Jim Lawler - He's called Roysten dammit!
[Roysten and PSM lock up. The Roysten uses his his weight advantage to back MacKenzie into the ropes. The ref breaks the hold and Roysten steps back. Both men lock up once more. PSM drops to his knees and flips Roysten over his head. MacKenzie does a backwards roll and grabs Roysten's legs and covers...]
Michael Mole - What a pinning manouever!
Jerry Ross - Roysten cannot kick out!
1...2...
[Roysten rolls himself to the side, throwing PSM off of him. Both men get to their feet and size each other up once more.]
Jim Lawler - Hah! Look! Roysten's tired already!!
[The two go to lock up again, but PSM dodges behind Chris Roysten and grasps him in a waistlock. Roysten swings an elbow at MacKenzie's face, PSM ducks and Roysten spins around. Steve MacKenzie powers forward, running into the ropes. Roysten hangs onto the strands while PSM rebounds off of his belly. PSM lands on the mat and Roysten goes out for a big splash.]
Jim Lawler -ARGH! HE'S GONNA FLY!
[MacKenzie quickly rolls out of the way and Chris Roysten hits nothing but mat.]
Jim Lawler - EARTHQUAKE!!! LATEST REPORTS...90 DEAD....200 INJURED! AAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Michael Mole - Only fools laugh at their own jokes...
Jim Lawler - Only queers wear Hawiian Shirts!
Michael Mole - Hey! My mum picked this out for me!
[PSM scramble to his feet and drops a quick leg to the back of Roysten's head.]
Jerry Ross - PSM is using his speed to defeat Roysten.
Jim Lawler - No, he's using Roysten's lack of speed to win...
[Chris Roysten holds the back of his head in pain. MacKenzie grabs Roysten by the head and pulls him to his feet. PSM knocks Roysten around a bit before throwing him into the ropes. Roysten returns and is floored by a spinning elbow.]
Jerry Ross - PSM is gaining great momentum here.
Michael Mole - No, but seriously, what's wrong with my Hawiian Shirt?
[PSM jumps onto Roysten and covers...]
1...2...Shoulder up.
Jerry Ross - Damn, nearly missed that one. We could've had a winner there!
Jim Lawler - You know Jerry, you're hailed as a great commentator, but all you do is state the obvious! I could do that! Watch.
[MacKenzie stands up.]
Jim Lawler - Steve MacKenzie is on his feet now.
[He pulls Roysten to his feet once more.]
Jim Lawler - Both men are now on their feet!
[PSM punches Roysten in the face a few times.]
Michael Mole - You're doing well Jim!
Jim Lawler - Mole is a homo. See! Shit easy!
Jerry Ross - But, Jim, I do it officially (Produces an official looking bit of paper)
Jim Lawler (Reading) - 'Presented to Jerry 'Helmet' Ross on June 16th 1965 for exellence in the field of stating the obvious. Signed Herman J. Munster (Director of Obviousness)
Jerry Ross - See? You need one of these to commentate like I do! Officially, you broke the law when you commentated in my stylee.
Jim Lawler - This is just silly...
Michael Mole - Oh! I've got one of them! (Produces paper.)
Jerry Ross (Reading) - 'Presented to Michael 'Sac-Lick' Mole for exellence in pleasing my penis and swallowing. Signed George Michael (Toilet Cleaner and Popstar)
[PSM goes to whip Roysten into a buckle, but Roysten reverses and send MacKenzie into the padded steel. Roysten charges into the buckle and crushes MacKenzie against the ring post.]
Jerry Ross - Good Lord! 413 pounds of Roystenishness crashing into Steve MacKenzie's body!
[Roysten steps back and Steve MacKenzie stumbles out drunkenly. Roysten whips Steve into the opposite buckle and follows him in again, crushing his body.]
Jim Lawler - Oooo....Someone's gonna hurt in the morning!
Michael Mole - I'm surprised Roysten isn't tired from all that running already.
[Chris Roysten moves away from the crushed body of PSM, who staggers out of the corner, right into Roysten's hands! Chris Roysten hoists PSM up into the air and high above his head!]
Jerry Ross - MY GOD! LOOK AT ROYSTEN'S POWER!
Michael Mole - I'VE NEVER SEEN ROYSTEN THAT STRONG!
Jim Lawler - I have...He's got a really good grip on him...and strong wrists...his stamina's exellent...
Michael Mole - Hey! I'm gay guy! It's my thing!
[Roysten spins around a few times before tossing PSM into the air and watching him land flat on his face. Roysten backs into the ropes and jumps into the air. He extends his leg and drops it on PSM!]
Jerry Ross - Those legs are like tree trunks. Can you imagine them crashing down on your body...And before you say anything Mole, it was a rhetorical question.
[Roysten gets to his feet again and backs into the ropes once more. He comes back, jumps into the air and lands his body on PSM!]
Jerry Ross - THAT'S 413 POUNDS LANDING ON STEVE MACKENZIE'S RIB CAGE!
Jim Lawler - HAH! PSYCHO SANDWICH!
[Roysten looks to the crowd, most of whom are cheering him on. He signals 'One more time' and backs into the ropes.]
Michael Mole - One more of these and 'Psycho' Steve MacKenzie is finished!
Jim Lawler - Yo' damn right!
[Roysten returns and flies into the air, only to be met with a set of knees to the gut belonging to Steve MacKenzie!]
Jerry Ross - They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. If so Chris Roysten needs a pacemaker!
Jim Lawler - Hah! Good one JR, but I don't think it made much sense!
[Both men lie on the mat, unmoving. The referee checks them before using his ten count...1....2...3...]
Jim Lawler - Hey! Wait a minute! What happens if both men are counted out? Who's the King of the Ring?
Jerry Ross (Speechless) - ...
[4....5....6....]
Jerry Ross - I have no idea....
Michael Mole - Maybe they get the two people from the semi-finals, who didn't make it, and put them in a match.
Jim Lawler - So, Thunder and 911 would have a chance for the King of the Ring title? WOO! Stay down!! WAY DOWN!
[7...8....Steve MacKenzie is the first to make a move. He rolls onto his side and looks around dazedly.]
Jim Lawler - Did you not hear me damn it?! STAY DOWN!
[PSM pulls himself up with the ropes and leans against a corner post. Chris Roysten pulls himself onto his knees, still holding his gut, and then up to his feet. He sees PSM in the corner and slowly begins to charge at him.]
Jerry Ross - I don't know if MacKenzie can take another corner splash! Especially not from Chris Roysten!
[Roysten is met with a big to the face. He stumble back, giving PSM enough time to sit on the top of the buckle. Roysten turn around and Steve MacKenzie dives at him. MacKenzie catches Roysten with a hurricarana! Both men tumble to the mat.]
Jerry Ross - HURRICARANA!! I HAVEN'T SEEN ONE OF THEM IN THE SWF FOR AGES!
Michael Mole - Could that be enough to secure a win for PSM?!
[MacKenzie struggles over to the fallen Roysten and lays a hand on his chest.]
Jerry Ross - IS HE THE NEW SWF KING OF THE RING?!
1...2...thr...KICK OUT!
Jerry Ross - WHAT RESILIANCE!! WHAT STAMINA!! WHAT A MAN!
[PSM drops his head disappointedly and pulls himself up on the ropes. He grabs Roysten by the head and slowly pulls him to his feet.]
Jerry Ross - What can be going through Steve MacKenzie's head? How can he keep a man like Chris Roysten down on that mat for a count of three?
Jim Lawler - With a big meaty chair, or a crowbar, or even a big bit of wood, in fact there are several means...
[PSM punches Roysten in the top of the head before whipping him into the ropes. Roysten returns and is hit with a weak looking Mongolian chop. Both men still stand on their feet. Steve MacKenzie goes to lock up with Roysten, but this time Roysten dodges behind PSM! Roysten shoves MacKenzie into the ropes and kicks him in the gut. He grabs PSM around the waist in lifts him and twists him around before dropping him on his head with an inverted piledriver!]
Jerry Ross - WHIPLASH!! Roysten'S SIGNATURE MOVE!!!
Michael Mole - WE HAVE A NEW KING OF THE RING!!!
Jim Lawler - I HAVE A HARDON!
[PSM lies motionless on the mat while Roysten kneels next to him.]
Jerry Ross - Why is he not pinning Steve MacKenzie?
Jim Lawler - Maybe he's more stupid than we thought!
[Roysten gets to his feet and looks around the arena. Thousands of faces cheer him and hold signs reading 'We Love You Chris!' Roysten Has one more look before raising his arm and pointing to the top rope!]
Jerry Ross - No! NO! HE WON'T!!
Michael Mole - ROYSTEN WANTS TO GIVE THE FANS THEIR MONEYS WORTH!
[Chris Roysten walks over to the turnbuckle and begins to climb. He stands up on the buckle and stares around at his surroundings.]
Jerry Ross - HE'S AT LEAST 20 FEET UP! WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO?!
[Roysten flips the Jimmy Snuka 'I Love You' sign and flies, spread-eagle, off the buckle. Bulbs flash all over the arena and everthing goes in slow motion...]
Jerry Ross - HHHHHHEEEEEEE'SSSSSS FFFFFFLLLLLLYYYYYYIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
Jim Lawler - NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Michael Mole - WWWWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAATTTTTT AAAAAAA BBBBBBEEEEEEEAAAAAUUUUUUTTTTTIIIIIIFFFFFUUUUULLLLLL AAAAAASSSSSSSSSS!
[Roysten descends on PSM. But just before he lands on the psychotic one, MacKenzie rolls away!!! Roysten lands face first on the mat! Time returns to normal.]
Jerry Ross - HE MISSED!! HE MISSED PSM!!! AND, DAMN IT, HE PAYED THE PRICE!! NEWTON'S THIRD LAW!! WHEN AN OBJECT EXERTS FORCE ON ANOTHER OBJECT, THAT SAID OBJECT WILL EXERT THE SAME FORCE BACK!!
Jim Lawler - ...
[MacKenzie lies on the mat, facing the roof of the arena. He breathes heavily before sitting up and shaking himself. Steve MacKenzie rolls onto Roysten...]
Jerry Ross - ROYSTEN WILL PAY FOR HIS MISTAKE!
1....2.....thre...SHOULDER UP!
Jerry Ross - GOD DAMN!
Jim Lawler - WILL THIS MATCH NEVER END?!
Michael Mole - YET ANOTHER CLOSE CALL! Roysten WILL NOT STAY DOWN!
[MacKenzie shakes his head and slowly gets to his feet. He pulls the weak Roysten to his feet and shoves his head int between his legs. PSM signals to the crowds and lifts Roysten onto his shoulders.]
Jerry Ross - COULD IT BE?!!
[PSM strains to lift Roysten higher. He lets out an almighty roar and uses all his strength to extend his arms and lift Roysten above his head! Steve MacKenzie slams Chris Roysten down on his head!]
Jerry Ross - YES!! BONANZA BOMB!!!
Michael Mole - SURELY NOW WE HAVE A KNIG OF THE RING CHAMPION!
Jim Lawler - Huh, don't count on it...
[PSM stumble backwards and lets out a huge sigh of exhaustion. He drops to his knees and covers Roysten.]
Jerry Ross - ALL HAIL KING MACKENZIE!
1....2.....Thre...SHOULDER UP!!!!
Jerry Ross - WHAT THE HELL?!
Jim Lawler - ARGH!
Jerry Ross - CHRIS ROYSTEN JUST POWERED OUT OF THE BONANZA BOMB!!! WHAT A PHENOMENOM!
[The crowd go crazy and a surprised and frustrated Steve MacKenzie lets out a howl of disappointment.]
Jerry Ross - PSM CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!
Michael Mole - Roysten IS ONE TOUGH S.O.B.!
[MacKenzie gets to his feet and kicks and punches the turnbuckle. Suddenly he stops and turns around, his eyes glistening.]
Jerry Ross - JUST WHAT DOES STEVE MACKENZIE HAVE IN STORE FOR ROYSTEN NOW?!
Michael Mole - I DON'T KNOW BUT ALL THIS SHOUTING IS REALLY HURTING MY THROAT...Ouch...
[PSM staggers over to Roysten and pulls him to his feet. Steve MacKenzie drags Roysten by the head to the turnbuckle. MacKenzie climbs up first and slowly pulls Chris Roysten up with him.]
Jim Lawler - I THINK I HAVE A FAIR IDEA WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!!!
Jerry Ross - NEVER!! HE CAN'T!!! ROYSTEN IS JUST TOO HEAVY!!!
[Both men stand atop the turnbuckle. PSM shoves Roysten's head inbetween his legs and raises his fist for all to see. More bulbs flash around the arena, tying to capture this moment. Steve MacKenzie begins to lift Roysten onto his shoulders, his legs and indeed his entire body are shaking with the weight.]
Jerry Ross - CAN MACKENZIE HOLD IT?! THAT'S OVER 600 POUNDS STEVE MACKENZIE HAS TO HANDLE!
Jim Lawler - HE'S GONNA FALL JR!! HE'S GONNA FALL!
[The buzz of the crowd just gets louder and louder. PSM stops moving, concentrating on his next effort. '1...2..3...ARGH!!' he screams as he lifts Roysten's entire body weight above his head.]
Michael Mole - HE'S DONE IT!!
[The crowd reach boiling point, until, everything goes silent. MacKenzie jumps of the buckle with Roysten in tow. The two hang in mid-air for what seems like hours.]
Jerry Ross - ...
Jim Lawler - ...
Michael Mole - *spurt*
[SLAM! Roysten's head crashes into the mat with PSM's body not far behind. The crowd explode into cheers!]
Jerry Ross - BONANZA BOMB!! BONANZA BOMB FROM THE TOP ROPE!
Jim Lawler - CAN Roysten KICK OUT?!
Michael Mole - Someone want to help me clean this up?
[PSM drags himself along the mat and drops an arm over Roysten's chest...The crowd count along with the referee...]
1...
Jerry Ross - ONE!
2....
Jim Lawler - TWO!!!
3!!!!
DING! DING! DING!!!
[The crowd erupts into cheers and clapping.]
Jerry Ross - 'PSYCHO' STEVE MACKENZIE IS THE 2001 KING OF THE RING!!
A.N. Ownser - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND KING OF THE RING! 'PSYCHO' STEVE MACKENZIE!!!!
[(Cheers ******************)]
Jerry Ross (Struggling to shout above crowd) - WILL PSM FOLLOW IN ALONZA'S FOOTSTEPS AND BECOME ONE OF THE MOST CELEBRATED WRESTLERS IN THE SWF?! OR WILL HE GO DOWN THE ROAD VISCERA DID AFTER WINNING THE WWF KING OF THE RING?! ONLY TIME WILL TELL!
[The referee helps Steve MacKenzie to his feet, he raises MacKenzie's arm in the air and presents the new King of the Ring to the World. A.N. Ownser enters the ring with the ceremonial crown and golden thingy that I think is called a sabre...I dunno.]
Jerry Ross - LOOK AT YOUR NEW KING FOLKS!!
Jim Lawler - THOSE THINGS WON'T HELP YOU WHEN 911 COME'S TO GET YOUR ASS!
[MacKenzie puts the crown on and raises the...oh yeah! SCEPTRE into the air (Cheers ********************). Psycho looks down at Roysten. He walks over and grabs his hand. MacKenzie helps the dazed and confused Roysten to his feet and raises his arm.]
Jim Lawler - UGH!! SICKENING!
Jerry Ross - NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL RESPECT!!! PSM WILL MAKE A GREAT KING!
[As MacKenzie celebrates with Chris Roysten, suddenly CHRIS ROYSTEN TURNS AROUND, GRABS THE SCEPTRE OFF STEVE MACKENZIE AND NAILING IT OVER HIS HEAD!!! ROYSTEN SLAMS THE SCEPTRE INTO MACKENZIE A SECOND TIME, IN FRONT OF A SHOCKED AUDIENCE!]
Jim Lawler - This is great!
Jerry Ross - WHAT IS ROYSTEN DOING?!?! ROYSTENS ATTACKING MACKENZIE!!
[As the crowd begin to boo a man they used to love so dearly, Roysten shouts for a mic, which is thrown towards him. Roysten drops the gold sceptre and turns around to face the audience.]
Chris Roysten - That's it! Damnit, I've had it! One Year! One year in this federation, and what have I to show for it? An Intercontinental Title? What the fuck? While I've been here since day one, and given 100% for this fed day in, day out, people like Steve MacKenzie waltz in, only a few months in the fed, and take away title shot? MY SHOT AT THE SWF TITLE? WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO?!!?
Jim Lawler - Chris Roysten's making a lot of sense!!
Jerry Ross - This is...sad.
Chris Roysten - I made Team Roysten so I could have people watching my back, and I could have more success, and maybe get a SWF Title shot! But months later, what have Team Roysten accomplished? Fuck all! That's what! I take in Steve and Michael Caulfield, a couple of nobodys, and make them SWF Superstars! And what do I ask of them? To win the SWF Tag Titles. That's all. And what happened tonight? Only a month as Champs, and they lost the fuckin titles!
Jerry Ross - S & M lost the SWF Tag Titles to Legacy of course earler tonight.
Chris Roysten - So I've decided to end Team Roysten! I've decided that it's been a failure! Fuck Steve and Michael Caulfield! Fuck S and M! The only person who's ever given his all for Team Roysten is Pitbull, my life long friend! Therefore, I have an announcement for the SWF Roster! Team Roysten may not be a name people respect, but on the SmackDownTron is a name that people do respect!!
[Suddenly, the SmackdownTron changes from a video feed of the ring to a black screen. Suddenly, three letters flash onto the SmackdownTron in green....DWO!!!]
Jerry Ross - MY GOD! DWO! ONE OF THE GREATEST SWF STABLES EVER!!
Jim Lawler - ARGH!!
Chris Roysten - THATS RIGHT! DWO! DEGENERATE WORLD FUCKING ORDER! ITS BACK! AND FOR ANYONE WHO DOUBTS HOW SERIOUS WE ARE.........
[Roysten drops the microphone, grabs Steve MacKenzie AND NAILS HIM WITH THE WHIPLASH!!!!! (Boos***************)]
Chris Roysten - .......WELL YOU CAN JUST GIMP IT! THE GIMP IS BACK! THE DWO IS BACK! AND THE SWF IS GONNA FEEL THIS!
[Chris Roysten drops the microphone and walks towards backstage, to an array of disheartened boos, and leaves Steve MacKenzie stunned in the middle of the ring.]
Jerry Ross - STEVE MACKENZIES JUST BEEN ASSAULTED BY GIMP! DWO IS BACK! MACKENZIE KING OF THE RING! SO MANY STORIES!
Jim Lawler - THIS IS CRAZY!!
[Slowly, Steve MacKenzie gets back to his feet in the ring and looks towards the direction that The Gimp left the ring. Steve MacKenzie steps through the ropes out of the ring, and runs backstage to the locker room area.]
Jerry Ross - Steve MacKenzie's King Of The Ring!
