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Monday Night

Live, September 22nd

The September 22nd edition of Monday Night Terror gets off to a bang as the entrance ramp lights up with explosions and fireworks and the camera zooms in on the broadcast table.

STYLES: Hello again everyone! I am Joey Styles and welcome to another huge edition of Monday Night Terror! Many things are in store for us this evening, it should be a classic. I am joined, as always, by The Brain. Bobby, we’ve got five tremendous matches tonight. Captain Shimmy Shimmy Shake takes on John McGraw to get things started and then in a taped fist match, it will be Stevie Studd facing off against Duke Payne.

HEENAN: You’d think in a brawler’s specialty match like this, that Duke would have the advantage, but he doesn’t.

STYLES: And why is that?

HEENAN: Because he stinks. Ask a simple question, get a simple answer.

STYLES: Then in a match brought on by the attack last week at the hands of the new team of Syn and Johnny Lee, it will be Hobo Bob and Fred L as they take on Syn and Lee. And in a match that has been the talk of the wrestling world all week, Showtime Shawn Marshall faces possibly his toughest challenge thus far for his Television title, that being Johnny Nantucket.

HEENAN: Showtime’s toughest challenge? I thought his toughest challenge was being entertaining.

STYLES: And in our main event, Lance Armstrong takes on The Cash Man and Duston Vayne in a handicap match. The Jerk was originally supposed to team with Lance but you will remember last week, Syn again attempted to permanently injure the Jerk’s neck and he will be out of action tonight.

HEENAN: Attempted? If The Jerk isn’t here, it seems to me that Syn succeeded. I hope The Jerk comes back real soon, so Syn can break it again.

STYLES: The Brain, always thinking of his fellow man. Those matches upcoming but now, it’s time to start Monday Night Terror!

Captain Shimmy Shimmy Shake vs. “The Shooter” John McGraw

STYLES: Our first match of the evening sees two men who have really made names for themselves over these past few months, but if memory serves me correctly, their paths have never crossed. Those two men are Captain Shimmy Shimmy Shake and John McGraw, and they’re both already in the ring, and there’s the bell! McGraw sends a knee to the gut of the Captain to start things off, and a forearm shot to the head! He sends the Captain to the ropes and… a back body drop! Shake’s back up and he runs right into a hip toss from McGraw! And again…but he blocks the hip toss, and hits one of his own!

HEENAN: He went to the well one too many times there.

STYLES: What, no insult to Destiny?

HEENAN: Oh it’s coming.

STYLES: (Sigh). Well now the Captain’s taken the advantage of the match, and he sends McGraw to the turnbuckle… and jumps in with an avalanche! McGraw stammers out and the Captain sends a boot to his gut, and there’s a big brainbuster DDT! He makes the cover, and only gets a two count! He brings the Shooter up to his feet and hits a running powerslam! And another cover…but only a two count again! The Captain is getting frustrated, and look, he’s going to the top rope!

HEENAN: Frustrated? Like sexually frustrated? ‘Cause I bet--

STYLES: I’m not even going to let that one be said, it just can’t be good. The Captain’s up top… and a moonsault from the Funk Disco Pirate! And that’s it, folks! One, two, three!

WINNER: CAPTAIN SHIMMY SHIMMY SHAKE

The camera goes backstage to Crazy Kyle with his new team of Syn and Johnny Lee.

KYLE: I can’t believe this! Finally, I am a full fledged heel manager! What a day! Right, Syn?

SYN: Kyle, your excitement is well placed even being allowed to speak to me, but don’t push your luck. All I want to know is if everything is in order.

KYLE: Absolutely, Bob will never know what hit him. Fred better stay out of the way if he knows what’s good for him.

SYN: Fred knows what’s good for him and if he doesn’t, c’est la vie.

LEE: What kinda homo language you speakin, Syn? You ain’t goin fag on me, are ya?

SYN: It’s French. I would explain it to you, but there aren’t that many hours in the day. Just do what you do best, and help me destroy the Derelict, Robert.

LEE: Now THAT I understood! Damn scumbag bum.

Johnny Lee drains a can of beer as Crazy Kyle smiles gleefully.

Duke Payne vs. Stevie Studd in a Taped Fist match

STYLES: Fans, this is a feud that has been going on since the return of Mr.Insane. Time and time again, Stevie Studd has been trying to put Duke Payne out, at the behest of the man who pulls his strings, that being The Cash Man. But perhaps he’s bitten off more than he can chew. A taped fist match against a brawler like Duke Payne?

HEENAN: Look, Studd wouldn’t be where he is today if he couldn’t beat bums like Payne. Is Duke Payne best friends with the world champion? No. Is Duke Payne part of the greatest trio in wrestling today? No. So save that argument.

STYLES: You’re blinded to the facts by your idolization of anyone The Cash Man associates with. The facts are Duke Payne is a rough and tough battler and Stevie Studd has never faced his kind before. And here is the man, the self proclaimed sexiest man alive. Stevie Studd is making his way to the ring and do you believe this? His taped fists match his trunks! Oh, for crying out loud.

HEENAN: What today’s stylish taped fist champion is wearing.

STYLES: Studd climbs in the ring and does a shadow box routine. He thinks he’s Muhammed Ali.

HEENAN: Well, he is the greatest.

STYLES: Studd continues to punch at the air as “Freak On A Leash” starts and Duke Payne, accompanied by Larry Fontana makes his entrance. Larry is pumping up the crowd as Duke makes his way to the ring. He enters and Studd stops and now puts his fists up in Marquis de Queensbury style, but he’s laughing. He’s taunting Duke Payne. The referee goes over the rules and in a taped fist match, it’s just like boxing. If you get knocked down for a ten count, that’s it.

HEENAN: Duke can’t count to ten.

STYLES: Well, the referee can and will. There’s the bell and we’re on. Duke takes a swipe at Studd but Stevie slides out of the way and then draws Duke in with a hand, saying come on, slowpoke. Duke flails again and Studd ducks under and hammers Duke in the gut and then a jab to the head and then bounds away, tapping his head, telling the crowd how smart he is, but how smart can he be when he just turned his back on Duke Payne? Studd turns around....WHAM! Shot to the head by Mr.Insane! Studd staggers and Duke Clotheslines him to the mat! Payne now jumps on the body of Stevie Studd and is positively beating the dog out of him! Punch after punch!

HEENAN: A clothesline? Can he do that?

STYLES: He can and did. It may be a taped fist match, but wrestling is allowed. Payne rips Studd up by the golden locks and kisses his own fist, spins around and nails a huge Discus Punch and Studd drops straight backwards like a great fallen oak! The referee is counting, he’s at 6, now 7....and Studd slowly staggers up. He wobbles towards the ropes and Duke follows.....HOLY! He just punched Stevie Studd right out of the ring! That punch had so much force behind it, it sent Studd flying over the top rope to the floor!

HEENAN: That’s a disqualification, right?

STYLES: It most certainly is not. Studd slowly gets up and look at him, he’s punch drunk! He’s swinging at fresh air outside the ring! Hold on! Duston Vayne is coming down here. I am so sick of this, week after week, these criminals insist on interfering in each other’s matches. Vayne keeps an eye on Payne and Payne on him as Duston makes his way over to his friend. He tosses a cup of water in Studd’s face to bring him back.

HEENAN: Are here you thought he was going to interfere. Shame on you.

STYLES: He shouldn’t be out here, period.

HEENAN: Fontana’s out here.

STYLES: Fontana is Payne’s manager.

HEENAN: You mean keeper.

STYLES: I mean, oh, nevermind. Vayne pats his friend on the back and checks the gripping on Studd’s fists and sends him back in. Stevie shakes it off and Duke is ready, he peppers Studd with a series of rights and lefts! Stevie Studd is overmatched in this battle of fisticuffs. And outside the ring, Duston Vayne has eyes on Larry Fontana. He’s making threatening moves towards him! Duke sees this and runs to the that side of the ring and Vayne backs off but that allows Studd to lie in wait, Payne turns and takes one straight in the forehead and down he goes! He’s not getting up either, that punch wasn’t that great.

HEENAN: If Stevie Studd threw it, it was great.

STYLES: The referee is counting, he’s at 8, 9, 10! I cannot believe it! Duke Payne was knocked out with one punch!

HEENAN: Some guys have a glass jaw. Duke Payne has a glass body.

STYLES: The referee raises Studd’s hand in victory as Vayne joins him in the ring and....hold on now. The referee has felt something in that tape! He grabs Studd’s hand and pulls the tape off.....a steel plate fell out! That’s why he was able to throw such a devestating punch! He had a steel plate in there! The referee is reversing the decision! He’s disqualifying Stevie Studd! Studd punches the referee for just doing his job!

HEENAN: A bad job.

STYLES: Vayne and Studd deliver a few kicks into Duke Payne before they leave and Fontana can check on his man. This is getting worse every week, I hope the front office is watching. We’ll be right back.

WINNER: DUKE PAYNE

Back from commercial, we see Captain Shimmy Shimmy Shake backstage as Stevie Studd walks up.

STUDD: Captain, oh my Captain! Ha ha! Nice win out there, bro.

SHIMMY: Daaaamn. That cracker wasn’t nothin. I’d congratulate you, but you didn’t win no match, so instead I’ll congratulate you on messing up that fat white boy, Duke Payne.

STUDD: Hey, I got a little something I’d like to discuss with you. Seems you got yourself a rematch with Showtime next week and me and Cash were talking and we think he needs a little message sent his way.

SHIMMY: Does it involve messing that boy up?

STUDD: Ha ha! It might, it might.

SHIMMY: If it do, then I think you and me should discuss this a little further.

STUDD: Ha ha! That’s the spirit! Let’s take a walk and talk.

Shake and Studd walk off down the hall as we rejoin the broadcast team.

STYLES: I don’t like the sounds of that and I hope Showtime is watching his back. But it will have to wait as we get ready for tag team action.

Fred L and Hobo Bob vs. Johnny Lee and Syn

STYLES: Well this one’s gonna be interesting folks, that’s for sure. We’ve got the new alliance of Syn and Johnny Lee facing the makeshift duo of Fred L and Hobo Bob. Obviously, there is a lot of bad blood between Bob and Syn, and now that Johnny Lee is on the side of Syn, and there’s no love lost between the Bobster and Mr. Trailer Park, I’d expect to see Johnny and Syn go right after Bob and just ignore the Extreme Fred L.

HEENAN: Well you can never underestimate Fred L…sorry, I can’t say that with a straight face.

STYLES: Well here comes Fred L, along with his tag team partner for the week, the longest reigning champion in BWA history, Hobo Bob. Both men slap some hands before getting interrupted by the music of Syn and John Lee Pettimore. And here those two come, and check out the looks on their faces. Into the ring slides Pettimore, and it looks like Hobo Bob will be starting the match out for his team. Johnny begins the match with an eye rake, and sends the former champion to the ropes… and Bob shoulder tackles Pettimore, and leaps over him. Powerslam from the man from the Deep South! Cover early in the match… only a two count! And he sends Bob back to the ropes, but Bob flies off with a flying forearm! But now Syn distracts Bob and grabs his head and brings his throat down over the top rope! And Pettimore hits a back suplex on the Bobster! And he makes a cover! No, Bob gets his shoulder up!

HEENAN: Just stay down, you stinky bum.

STYLES: Bob trying to get to his turnbuckle, but Pettimore stays on him. A boot to the chest as Bob gets up to his feet, and now a scoop slam! He bounces back off the ropes, and drops an elbow right over the throat of Hobo Bob! Johnny goes and makes the tag to Syn now, who ominously enters the ring. And he unleashes a fury of boots to Bob! And now Bob gets sent to the turnbuckle upon getting to his feet, and he bounces out of the turnbuckle… and Syn slaps on a sleeper hold! Bob’s trying to fight it… and he throws himself and Syn back into the corner and Syn is forced to break the hold! Bob stumbles towards his corner, trying to make the tag to Fred L… Syn’s not getting up to stop him! And he makes it… but, what the?! Fred just stepped off the apron! What in the world? Bob looks through the ropes at Fred in disbelief… and Syn takes the opportunity and drops a leg over the back of Bob’s neck. And NOW Fred tags Bob.. literally, I mean, with a disgusting shot right to the face! And now Syn and Johnny Lee are just assaulting Bob… and Fred’s getting in there, too! But there’s no means for a disqualification, so the referee can’t stop the match! They continue beating on Bob… and OH! Pettimore’s got that Tennessee Twist on Bob, and Syn just Syn City Splashed him! Syn makes the cover and takes the match, but this beating is far from over, they’re maliciously assaulting Bob! This is… this is awful!

HEENAN: This is great!

STYLES: Fans, stay with us.

WINNERS: JOHNNY LEE AND SYN

Back from commercial, we join the team of Syn, Johnny Lee, and Fred L.

SYN: The numbers grow and the future looks bleaker still for all of you. I am speaking to the Derelict, Robert and The Jerk and to Ponce Armstrong and anyone else who is foolish enough to join in their losing battle. You never suspected that Frederick would join the dark side, did you? And that is precisely my point. You never, ever know what to expect from me. I will do whatever it takes to rid the wrestling world of these men. These men who besmirch the once great name of the BWA and continue to drag it down. And we will not stop until we have destroyed the entire federation. Isn’t that right, Fred?

FRED: The front office has held me down since I joined here. Syn was the one who made me see the light. And now that I have seen what I must do, no one will be safe. I will tear down the walls of this foundation until I get what is mine!

Fred glares in rage as Johnny Lee smiles, and Syn laughs evilly as we rejoin the broadcast team.

Johnny Nantucket vs. Showtime Shawn Marshall for the BWA Television Title

STYLES: Fans we now move on to a title match as the current TV champ “Showtime” Shawn Marshall takes on Johnny Nantucket.

HEENAN: That’s Johnny Nantucket, The Boston Diamond, you biased fool.

STYLES: The fans know that Bobby.

HEENAN: What if they don’t? You can’t just assume people know things because you do. That’s like assuming the people at home want to listen to you.

STYLES: Always a treat working with you Bobby.

HEENAN: What can I say?

STYLES: Something intelligent would be nice.

HEENAN: Fine, be like that buddy, I won’t talk to you at all then for the rest of this match.

STYLES: Well folks, “Beautiful” is playing and that means the challenger Johnny Nantucket is coming down to the ring. And Brain, may I say that he looks ready for a fight tonight.

HEENAN: ……………..

STYLES: Fine, be that way. And now “Superstar” begins playing and the fans are going wild for the champ, “Showtime” Shawn Marshall. Marshall makes his way inside the ring and the two men get ready as the bell sounds to get this match going. The two men lock up, Johnny gets the advantage and has Showtime in an arm bar. Showtime though breaks the hold with some well-placed elbows, goes to the ropes and Johnny goes down as a Showtime delivers a dropkick. Johnny though quickly back up and runs at Showtime looking to spear him but Showtime leaps right over him and Johnny flies through the ropes and lands on the outside. That was an amazing jump Brain.

HEENAN: ……………

STYLES: You know, you’re going to have to talk sometime, being quiet isn’t you.

HEENAN: …………………

STYLES: (Sigh) Johnny now slowly getting up and heading for the ring, but Showtime has other plans as he baseball slides, knocking Johnny into the guard rail. Showtime now going to the ropes and…..leaping over the top rope and crashing down on Johnny with a cross body! I don’t think Johnny was prepared for such an offensive by Showtime.

HEENAN: You got the offensive part right.

STYLES: Oh, it looks like someone decided to talk.

HEENAN: ……….

STYLES: I don’t believe you. Back to the match as Showtime slides Johnny back into the ring. It looks like he’s trying to get this match over with very soon here tonight. Showtime now with a moonsault from the top rope. 1…..2…..and Johnny kicks out. Showtime now slaps on his special version of the camel clutch, probably trying to weaken up Johnny for another onslaught. The ref now checking if Johnny wants to submit, but the Bostonian refuses to tap. Marshall releases the hold and…….OH! A Rolling Thunder Leg drop to the back of Nantucket’s head! That has got to hurt! Showtime now lifting Johnny to his feet and whipping him into the corner….Body splash by the champ! Showtime to the top rope and delivers the Showtime Splash! That should be it! 1…..2…..NO!!! Can you believe it! Johnny has just kicked out and……wait who’s that coming down the ramp? Oh my god, I don’t believe it! That’s Johnny Nantucket’s hero Terry Tate coming down the ramp! He’s come to cheer Johnny on! Showtime giving Terry a strange look as though he doesn’t know who he is, but Johnny knows exactly who that man is and hops right up to his feet! Johnny has gotten a new source of energy and he’s ready to fight!

HEENAN: It’s time to feel the pain, Showtime! The pain train’s a comin’!

STYLES: Decided to join us now Brain?

HEENAN: Wooo! Wooo!

STYLES: I just that just says it all. Showtime going to the ropes to deliver a drop kick but Johnny just blocks it and knocks Marshall to the ground.

HEENAN: You can’t bring that that weak ass junk up this Humpty Bumpty.

STYLES: About that bias word you where throwing around earlier.

HEENAN: You know Styles if all you’re going to do it talk non-business all night, I’ll do the announcing.

STYLES: I’ve been the one doing all the…….

HEENAN: Shut up! Johnny now picks up Showtime and delivers the Boston Beanpot! And man was there power in that running powerbomb. And Johnny now taunting the limp, helpless body of the soon to be former champion Shawn Marshall!

STYLES: Ok, Bobby, I think you’re a little one sided on this match.

HEENAN: One-sided nothing! Now this is how a Showtime match is supposed to be. Johnny now going to the ropes and delivers a Paul Revere’s Ride to the champ. Woo ha, that’s got to hurt! 1…..2….Showtime kicks out, but this matters not to Johnny, who just sees this as chance to bring more pain to the poor SOB.

STYLES: Will you let me announce this match yet?

HEENAN: Alright fine, I’ve had my fun.

STYLES: Showtime showing himself to be a little wobbly after those two powerful moves by Johnny. Johnny stand Showtime up and …..what? He’s talking to him!

HEENAN: No! He’s asking him a question!

STYLES: Oh no! He’s asking Showtime if the New England Patriots are Boston’s football team or not! Showtime can’t answer quick enough and DDT! He picks him up again and asks the same thing!

HEENAN: HA! Not fast enough, DDT!

STYLES: Oh god, he’s not stopping!

HEENAN: And DDT number three for the champ! It looks like title’s are gonna be changing tonight!

STYLES: Johnny’s now waiting now for Marshall to get up! Showtime now slowly getting up and….oh no! Not……

HEENAN: YES! The Terry Tate's Terrifically Terrifying Train of Pain! That’s it for Showtime, there’s no way he’s kicking out of that!

STYLES: Johnny still not done as he stands Showtime up for The Cape Cod Crusher, that’s just adding insult to injury here folks.

HEENAN: No, it’s adding more injury to injury.

STYLES: Johnny goes over to the ropes and gives a high five to Terry Tate at ringside. Now the challenger heads over to the champ for the pin. But wait! It’s Captain Shimmy Shimmy Shake and Stevie Studd coming down the ring fast! Studd with the chair and he hammers Showtime as he tries to get up! And now the same to Johnny and the Bostonian goes down! The ref is calling for the bell as Studd continues to ran down blows on Johnny. But wait! Terry Tate has run in to save his biggest fan. GORE TO STUDD! He just knocked Stevie right off his feet. But the Captain…no! He just shot Terry Tate with that dart gun! Stevie continues to assault the wounded Johnny as Shimmy grabs Showtime and puts him into the tree of woe.

HEENAN: WHOA!

STYLES: OH! The Captain delivering the same superkick that Showtime gave him last week! And Marshall slumps down to the ground. Studd walks over to the Captain and gives him a chair as well, but the Captain doesn’t want it. Instead he’s whispering sometime in Studd’s ear. The Captain now picking Johnny up on the top rope. And Studd now going over to Johnny and ……my god he’s holding the chair up to his face! Oh no!

HEENAN: What Styles? What could possible happen?

STYLES: Captain on the other turnbuckle breaks into a run across the rope and ……..OH MY GOD!!! Shake with a Walk the Plank to Johnny with that chair driving into his skull. Johnny is out and I think he needs attention down here. Shake now getting up back into the ring, grabbing a mic and making his way to Showtime.

SHAKE: Bitch, I told your cracker ass that the title is gonna me mine. Now I saved your white boy self because if your no talent ass is gonna lose it to someone, that someone is gonna be me! Remember that, bitch.

STYLES: Shake giving a slap to Showtime for good measure and Studd giving him a kick before they both exit the ring. And the medical team is down here to get Johnny as Showtime slowly tries to get up. Fans I assure you this feud is far from over.

WINNER: SHOWTIME SHAWN MARSHALL

We go backstage to the commissioner’s office where Vinnie and Stratus are meeting.

VINNIE: It’s got to stop, Strat. The inmates are running the asylum.

STRATUS: Vinnie, this is just the same kind of stuff we used to do. The Horsemen wrote the book on intimidation through that sort of thing. Plus, it keeps people tuned in. The ratings are getting better every week. So if they’re tuning in to see Cash or Syn or whoever try and mess someone up, then we just watch. Besides, they’re all men, they can handle themselves.

VINNIE: Sure, but what happened to us running the show? We said that Cash wasn’t going to get Lance Armstrong in the ring until we decided to do it. And here he is, two weeks in a row against Lance, and in a handicap match? You know he’s going to get killed.

STRATUS: Like I said, Vin-Man. They’re men, they know the risks. Just like we did. Now I have to go get some contracts signed. we’ll talk later.

Stratus leaves the room and Vinnie watches him go,

VINNIE: There’s some bullshit going on around here.

Lance Armstrong vs. Cash Man and Duston Vayne in a Handicap Match

STYLES: Fans, it’s time for our main event and I have great trepidation about it. Lance Armstrong will be taking on Duston Vayne and The Cash man by himself in a handicap match.

HEENAN: You know why they call it a handicap match, don’t you? Because Cash and Vayne will make sure that Lance becomes handicapped after they’re through with him.

STYLES: I won’t deny they will probably try. And to top it off, Lance will clearly be on his own. The Jerk is not here tonight, and we understand that Hobo Bob has been taken away for precautionary medical measures.

HEENAN: Tough luck, Lance! You agreed to the match, you’ll just have to pay the price.

STYLES: He’s a tough individual, Brain. Don’t count him out yet. And speaking of Lance, here he is! To the sounds of “Gonna Fly Now”, the All-American and without question, one of the most popular men ever to compete here in the BWA makes his way towards the ring. Even with the task ahead, he’s taking time to slap hands with the fans on his way down.

HEENAN: Saying his last goodbyes.

STYLES: Lance jumps in the ring and there is “Hair of the Dog”, the music for The Cash Man, the BWA World champion. He and Duston Vayne make a point of telling Lance he made a big mistake as they approach the ring. Both men enter the ring and start to try and form a circle around Lance, cutting off any escape. Lance evades both men and runs towards the ropes.

HEENAN: Chicken! He’s leaving!

STYLES: He is not! Lance runs towards the ropes and then leaps up and Springboards off the top rope and nails a Moonsault that takes both men out! The bell hasn’t rung yet but Lance knows he’s up against it here. The referee, unsure what to do, does call for the bell. Lance quickly to his feet nails Vayne with a Clothesline! Not often you see power moves from Armstrong, but he takes Vayne back down. He grabs The Cash Man in a headlock and runs to the corner.....Tornado DDT! A cover, 1-2-No! The referee tells Vayne to step out as he breaks up the pinfall attempt by The Impeccable One having none of it, he Body Slams the referee!! They obviously don’t care about winning this match!

HEENAN: They’re already winners.

STYLES: Vayne rips Lance up by the hair and hits him with three hard shots to the face as he continues holding him by the locks! He now puts Lance in a Full Nelson and that allows The Cash Man to get up and....he takes his title belt and rams it into Lance’s ribs! Three, four, five times!! He’s screaming at Lance Armstrong. He’s saying “You’re not good enough for this title” and then he crashes it over Lance’s head, as he is held helpless by Duston Vayne! Duston lets Lance fall to the mat in a heap as the referee makes it up and calls for the bell, as well he should! Lance will win this match, or what was supposed to be a match, by disqualification but clearly, he is in no shape to celebrate.

HEENAN: But I am!

STYLES: You’re sick, Brain. Cash covers Lance, like it means anything and Vayne counts a slow three count and then raises Cash’s hand in victory. How preposterous! Cash parades around to the intense dislike of the crowd and then takes his title belt and places it across the face of Lance and Leg Drops him!! This is too much! Even for a cad like The Cash Man and now he wants a mic, what an egomaniac!

HEENAN: Shut up, we’re about to get some words of wisdom.

CASH: Don’t you dare boo me! I am your champion! You cheer a piece of crap like Lance Armstrong instead. A man who wouldn’t know success if it bit him in the ass. I am the measuring stick! I have beaten his sorry ass so many times I’ve lost count. Well, here’s the deal......next week, Lance, if you can hear me, it’s you and me, pal. One on one, but it’s not for the title, oh, no. No, you don’t deserve to be given that chance. Instead, if you lose, you leave! You get the hell out of here and I never have to see your face again. And if I lose, well, I won’t lose, not to you, so there’s nothing I’m putting up. Yeah, it’s a one-way street, Armstrong, but you can do that when your name is The Cash Man.

Cash throws the mic at Lance, who is just getting up and then hammers him back down with the World title belt. he and Vayne laugh and leave the ring.

STYLES: How is this possible? How can The Cash Man make up his own rules like that? This is a travesty!

HEENAN: He can do it because of who he is, period. Sayonara, Lance, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. On second thought, let it hit you.

STYLES: What a way to end the night. But we are indeed, out of time. For the gleeful Bobby The Brain, I am Joey Styles, we will see you next week on Terror!

WINNER: LANCE ARMSTRONG

Email: BWACashMan@yahoo.com