First thing I learned this morning: "Thor's Hammer" is one jealous brew. if you start with the Hammer, you'd best end with the Hammer -- or else face the consequences. Alas, my life is right full of "suffered consequences." In truth, it surpassed a Mead hangover by several orders of magnitude! I really NEEDED my Scotch Egg and Espresso this day...!!!

Of course, the ladies wanted a slow, refreshing shower followed by a leisurely, hot breakfast... but I couldn't wait. As soon as I heard the opening cannon's roar echoing across the campground, I was into my garb and off!

OK, so I did pause long enough to buy a program at the gate! Looking over this year's entertainment schedule, I had to admit: I was definitely impressed. Among the outstanding acts and performers on the playbill were Cantiga, the Bard O'Neill, Throw Up, Ded Bob, the Rogues, Wyndnwyre, Cliff Hanger, the Duellists, the Sturdy Beggars, Birds of Prey, To the Hilt, Brobdingagian Bards, Sound and Fury, Featherstone, the Corsairs, Queen Anne's Lace, the Gypsy Guerilla Band and Houston's own Loch Dhu Dancers. WOW!!!

Since I only had this one day for faire, it meant picking my events very carefully. Ye Godz: what a choice! I knew I had to see Sound and Fury's "Testacles and the Sack of Rome" (Photo, left: onstage at the Odeon Theatre). I mean, I'd visited their website, read their Fakespearian handbill on the play (what a hoot!) and followed the enthusiastic commentary on AFR when they first released "Testacles" on video. Besides, they were playing at the brand-new this-year Odeon Theatre -- and I certainly had to see that, too.

Likewise the Brobdingagian Bards, who also announced their TRF performances on AFR. "Cleopatra's Masque" sounded intriguing -- and I couldn't miss either the "Witch Trial" or the "Publick Execution." Now that is entertainment!!!

And, of course, there was the Noon Parade! And I needed to stop by and see James and Pat in the Moroccan Bazaar, as well as friends Van and Laura at the Aura Photographer by the Mockingbird Music Gazebo. Everything else, I figured, was simply up for grabs...

Right. So first priority was breakfast. A quick cruise by "King Henry's Table" with a brief stop at "The Pavilion" fixed me right up. Ah, there's nothing quite like a Scotch Egg and Espresso with a Renaissance Festival wrapped around it! Truly, such a repast clears the head, brightens the eye and quickens the step right spritely!!! Thus well-fortified, it was off on my usual tour of the grounds, stopping by the Magick Cauldron first to check out their latest offerings.

They had some great wares on display: beautiful Celtic wall hangings, wond'rous dragons in all shapes and sizes, magickal jewelry, amulets, talismans, healing herbs, incense -- and more! Unfortunately, the only thing which truly caught my eye was a tiny, delicate perfume bottle with a magnificent pewter unicorn wrapped around it. Since I now live in Houston, The fact that I can cruise down to their main store any day of the week, see those selfsame wares and purchase them if I so please has taken somewhat of the "magick" out of the Cauldron. O, woe is me!

So with the Gardens -- War of the Roses, Titania's Bower, Fons Florida Aeterna -- on my left, I continued on down to the Falconer's Stage, made the complete circuit of Sherwood Forest (Photo, right), then headed for the Moroccan Bazaar, checking out the shops and booths as I went. There were lots of great art, craft and weaponry items on display, but nothing really reached out and grabbed me. So far, so good...

Everything changed abruptly when I arrived at the Bazaar around 10:30am. There I found Pat standing alone by her booth, very upset (Photo, left: Pat's new tent in the bazaar, AKA "Madame Fatima's Psychic Readings"). I was both shocked and dismayed to hear that James had been injured in an accident only thirty minutes after opening, rushed to the Emergency Room at the Tomball Hospital -- and she hadn't heard any word of his condition, since! Worse, her two girls hadn't arrived, so she couldn't leave her booth to make telephone inquiries or anything!!

Alas, the best I could do to help was go off in search of my gang, since at least two of them were carrying cell phones at the time. But of course we missed each other in passing! So I spent a fruitless 45 minutes waiting and watching patrons mingling with the players at the gate, until Mike and the ladies showed up. Fortunately, they had proceeded directly to the Bazaar, heard the awful news and made a quick call to Tomball.

Not good. James had both a severely-bruised leg and a broken arm, requiring a cast for at least six weeks. Effectively, that put him out of commission for the rest of the Faire! Naturally, we all offered our most heartfelt sympathy and best wishes for an early recovery both to him and Pat -- but that was all we could do. It certainly was not a good start to the TRF season!!!

By then it was time to view the Noon parade. Huzzah (it is difficult to whip up enthusiasm after a friend has been injured, even for faire).

This year's theme was "Age of Discovery". The official storyline went:

"The year is 1518. Amazing sights and rambunctious rivalry rule the day! Good King Henry VIII, Queen Catherine of Aragon and her brilliant court have gathered at the great harvest festival at New Market to award a coveted new title: Admiral of the Oceans and Warden of New Found Lands. The honors are to go to the first intrepid explorer to present solid evidence that he has claimed a fine portion of the mysterious New World for England. Their Majesties have spent the year since their challenge was issued planning to honor the winner and showcase his exotic New World treasures, royally!"

So at the very end of the parade, there appeared that one tangible piece of ye "Solid evidence" -- a dragon (Photo, right: wild and fierce in its own domain, this beast was quite docile and tame on a leash, following a beautiful damsel. Tuly, beauty doth serve to soothe the savage heart)!!! As you can see in the photo, it was on the order of those Chinese dragons often filmed in Oriental street festivals, only much larger. From the number of feet showing below the dragon's belly, I'd judge there were at least thirty men inside, carrying it. It must have been most hot, stuffy and cramped in there as the day was already quite warm by then. Still, it was very clever -- and very well done!

About that time, the excitement of the morning and the rising heat of the day combined to drain off all my energy. It was definitely time for a siesta! So I betook myself to the gate, got my hand stamped for re-admission, hiked back to the campground and sought out the comfort o'me tent. Not that it particularly comfortable in the mid-day sun, but I did manage to sleep about an hour -- or until the "Fraternitie Les Malvoisins" ("Brotherhood of Bad Neighbors") immediately next door blasted me awake by playing some really godawful Pop Country/Western at full volume, right next to my ear!

Still, the short catnap was most refreshing. For the sake of coolness, I decided not to wear my usual faire garb for the rest of the day. Besides, it's always been a fantasy of mine to run naked thru TRF (that is, wearing Mundane clothes only) and exposing myself to passersby -- which I did by doffing my cap frequently, thereby "exposing" my natural tonsure (the large, bald spot on the top of my head) for all to see [chuckle].

As it turned out, I missed very little in my brief absence. Before nightfall, I managed to hear the Rogues, the Brobdingagian Bards, Featherstone, the Corsairs and Queen Anne's Lace; see Sound and Fury perform "Testacles"; catch both the Witch Trial and the Public Execution; view part of "Cleopatra's Masque" and still grab a few pictures of the fantastick garb and costumes of both patrons and players, alike. Not to mention a brief visit with friends Ben and John when we chanced to meet in Sherwood Forest (Photo, right: Ben in his "Dark Faerie" costume never failed to catch the attention of attractive, young ladies), cruise by the Sea Devil Tavern to chat with my group awhile and see the closing fireworks show before we all returned to the campground... for the Saturday night drumjam!!!

The drumjam didn't really get started until sometime around 8pm, with only a half-dozen drummers present at the beginning. As the lead drummer noted, most folks were still eating supper -- either in camp or in town. So it started out small enough, but the drum circle quickly grew larger as the night wore on. The firespinner soon showed up to "weave the flames" again as a young lady danced slowly and sensuously within the circle, while holding two small, burning lamps in the palms of her hands. Her perfomance was absolutely incredible!

Even better, the drummers were totally wired. I mean, they set a fast and furious pace right from the very beginning -- really wild and savagelike, if you know what I mean! It was just the way I like it. Standing close to the big, bass drums, I could not only hear each beat but feel the pounding rythyms as well. It was awesome: my ears didn't stop ringing for four days afterwards!!! Dragon never showed up while I was there, so there were few pauses in the drumming. Like the EverReady Bunny, the drummers just kept going and going and going...!

Along about midnight, however, my stomach started getting unnaturally queasy, so I returned to camp before the circle broke of its own accord. I know they continued on 'til at least 1am --maybe later -- as we could still hear the drumming quite clearly altho our campsite was half a mile away! The way I was feeling, tho, I just had to lie down. I then spent the next two hours in a most miserable stupor, with a severe headache coming on.

Sometime around 2am, a young couple with the "Fraternitie Les Malvoisins" got into a screaming, yelling argument next to my tent. They proceeded to rouse all the nearby campers with intimate details of their personal lives as well as detailed descriptions of their sexual preferences and behaviors, all shouted at each other at the top of their lungs. Oh, Ye Godz! That was definitely not what I needed to hear in my condition. So I staggered to my feet, offered my regrets to Mike and the rest of my friends in camp and packed out for home.

Once I was on the road, however, with both the heater and fresh air blowing on me, my headache started to fade. By the time I reached the house, it was just a dull throb in my forehead. A quick shower took care of that -- and so to bed, where I slept most soundly, waking refreshed in the morning.

I do believe it was a combination of things ganging up on me, Saturday Night. The day was long and hot, I did a lot of walking around TRF, there wasn't much sleep on Friday Night, too much Thor's Hammer(!), and the exhaust fumes from the Land Dragon (RVs) generators all around us combined to lay me low. At the Saturday Night Drumjam, for instance, I noticed that there was an inversion layer over the campground, with hardly a breeze stirring to blow the noxious exhaust fumes away. When I left my tent to drive home, I again noted the distinct smell of diesel exhaust in the air. Considering that I was trying to sleep on an air mattress, barely a few inches above the ground... t'was not a wise thing to do, under those circumstances!!!

Laird Michael and I discussed the situation at length, later on. Henceforth, we decided, we'll set up camp deep in the woods around Row 3, where the Land Dragons can't go. That should solve both the generator noise and exhaust fume problems at the campground for us. To be sure, I've also added a futon to my camping gear. Talk about "roughing it"!!! That should raise me about two feet off the ground, well above any toxic gasses collecting on the floor of my tent. I'll also take it a tad easier on myself -- including "Thor's Hammer!" Hey, I'm not getting any younger, y'know!

Outside of bad neighbors and diesel exhaust, it was a terrific Opening Weekend for me at TRF. Now we're looking forward to Don and Heather's Renaissance Wedding at the TRF Chapel on Sunday, October 22nd; our big Halloween Party at the campground Friday thru Sunday, October 27-29; and, of course, Invasion Weekend, when all the Otters from AFR come to visit (November 11-12). We're really looking forward to the rest of the season -- and the chance to do it all, again and again and again...!!! hehehe

THIRD WEEKEND AT TRF

RENAISSANCE WEDDING AT TRF - A photo essay of the Rhodes-Farley Wedding, held the Fourth Weekend of TRF. Galleries of the pre-wedding preparations, the procession through the faire to The Chapel, the Wedding Ceremony and the reception in the German Arbor are featured.