Great One-Liners and Some Thoughts Worth Thinking

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe

I'm not a complete idiot... some parts are missing

Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.

God must love stupid people. He made so many.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I've been doing since 15.

West Virginia: one million people and 15 last names

FOR SALE- Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.

HAM AND EGGS: a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig

The original "point and click interface" was a Smith & Wesson

I don't approve approve of political jokes-- I've seen too many get elected

I am a nobody and nobody's perfect, therefore I am perfect

Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

How come we choose from just 2 people for president and 50 for Miss America?


Lyrics

Here Without You

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