Eating Paper Makes You Live Longer

	8.5" x 11" computer paper is a great source of fiber
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DAYTON, Ohio (AP) -- According to research done in the University of Western Ohio laboratories, eating a sheet of paper daily prolongs life expectancy.

Studies have shown that computer paper, sized 8.5" x 11", is a great source of fiber. Individuals that consume one sheet per day are expected to live up to five years longer.

Betty Jacobsen, 41, of Marion, Ohio, has been on this paper diet for three months already. "Eating paper has been a blessing for me. Not only am I getting the proper fiber and nutrients I need, but it gives me a whole new surge of energy, and helps me to lose weight more efficiently."

Dr. Lucius Farnsworth, the head scientist on the issue, feels that more people need to try the paper diet. "Many associates are not interested in this diet because they are turned off by the taste of paper. Little do they realize that adding salt, sugar, ketchup, melted chocolate, or or any other flavored item will help to nullify the taste, while still enhancing the nutritional content of the food and increasing life span."

Dr. Weng Suji, also in charge of the paper ingestion topic, concluded that chopping up paper and using it as a topping for pizza helps to neutralize the paper's lack of flavor.

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