Whenever little Danny Grover passed through this side of town, his mommy always hurried. He wondered why she never talked to the weird guys who asked for money. Danny told himself that when he grew up, he wouldn't be like his mommy and hurry past them. He was going to be real nice and give them all he could like a good boy.
In the end, Danny both fulfilled and denied his promise.
He passed through the poor side of Detroit today just like his mother did years ago with him in tow, in a frenzied debate with his cellphone and wishing the old hobos on the sidelines who kept interrupting would just shut up already and go get a job. All throughout college the lazy frat boys he was forced to interact with kept asking for things---money, condoms, duct tape---and it bothered him. If there was one thing he'd learned from his Political Science classes, it was that if one was to get ahead in America, one had to get a job and move up in the ranks.
That was what Daniel was trying to do today, but those idiots on the subway who sang the doo-wop songs for donations got in his way as he tried to escape to his stop. As such, he was forced to get off at the next stop, and now he was a full nine blocks away from his very first business interview, which was in ten minutes. There was absolutely no way he was going to get there on foot; it was rush hour, so a taxi was out of the question.
Sighing, he continued his argument with Jenny with a 'y', who insisted that no, Mr. Jacobs didn't have any openings in the next week, sorry, but she could get him an internship in the mail room if he would be so kind as to---
Splash.
Wonderful. Now he'd walked right into a mud puddle and splattered his very best slacks. Dismissing the secretary by snapping his phone shut, he bent down to inspect the damage---maybe if he just rolled them up it would hide the stain.
"Spare change, sonny?" a voice wheezed to his right.
Daniel grimaced. The man looked like he'd crawled right out of the dumpster that he was leaning against---the only difference between the two was that someone actually came and cleaned out the dumpsters.
"Why don't you get a job, you lazy bum?" Daniel shot back, straightening. He'd lost at least thirty seconds there, so he quickened his stride into a frenzied powerwalk, hoping he didn't look unpresentable when he arrived.
They say karma's a bitch. Maybe that explains why Daniel Grover was found in a dumpster about nine blocks from the Greenback Building late that evening, decapitated, castrated, and naked.
"A little bleach and lemon juice should take care of that stain for you!" Jenny chirped as the new intern dropped off her mail. The man looked down slowly at the large stain on his slacks, nodded once, and lurched along on his route.
Ad Mania!!!
by niddyz
Okay, so you're floating about the Space Station and you've decided you want to play Advert Attack to vent some of your frustration. Advert Attack is a great choice for those of us who have anger management problems, as we can scream at the screen and click away to destroy the evil pop-up ads to our heart's desire.
But anyways, back to the game. It's rather simple, really, you just need to win the race against your opponent. Your ship is the one on the bottom, by the way, just so you aren't confused. To go, you must click on the yellow starburst thingy that says "GO!" on it. Then another "GO!" will show up somewhere else in the playing field for you to click on.
You receive a time bonus at the end of every round, and you can find the time a little below your spaceship. You really can't miss it, as it's rather important to the game. Once you're out of time, you lose (because your opponent has beat you to the "finish line")!
You'll notice the first round is very easy. But once you go into Round 2, you find pop-ups starting to pop up all over the place, courtesy of everyone's favorite turkey-like villain, Dr. Sloth. The pop-ups will show up around every five seconds of the timer (the timer, mind you, not really every five seconds).
Here are some tips to deal with those nasty ads:
1. Get rid of it.
To rid of an ad, click on the red X in the top right-hand corner. Later on, ads will be harder to dispel, and you will have to either click on a spot that says "Click here to close" or push a "No" button.
2. If it's not in the way...
Then don't bother with it. Get rid of the ad if it's blocking your "GO!" sign. If it isn't, then just leave it there. You're on a time limit, remember?
3. Don't click on them!
This much is obvious. Please, don't get lured in by them and click, because they'll just spawn more annoying ads.
4. Move them out of your way.
Sometimes, if you don't want to bother with an ad, you can just move it out of the way. This works best if the X button to get rid of it is way off screen or something. What you do is move it like you would any object on the computer, by dragging the top bar thing-a-ma-jigger.
5. Words can't hurt you.
Don't stop to goggle at them. If you want to do well, you've just got to concentrate on your "GO!" signs. Nothing else. Well, maybe if your house is burning down, I suppose you can focus on that.
Hope that helps. Best of Luck to you on getting to 550 points for that Avatar. It's certainly not easy!