Evil Bastards

The evil bastards is a 3rd edition D&D game, named after the player characters, who are evil characters who were childhood friends as they were raised in the same orphanage. (Unwanted children - hence bastards).

Unfortunately for me, they are not used to being evil, they often accept pitiful pleas for mercy and rarely perform any random acts of evil. (I keep trying to refer them to my evil alignment page, but they never seem to listen).

The player characters were born in a dimensional prison, but they do not know it (unless of course they read my web site, which COULD happen, you never know). The plane has a unique property that any attempts at interdimensional travel always return the traveller back to the prison plane. The etheral and astral planes still reach this plane, as that is how the prisoners get here in the first place, but any attempt to get to any other plane simply return you to the prison plane.

The entire population of this plane is decended form someone who either traveled here magically or was summoned by someone already here. Most have been here for so many generations that nobody remembers the stories about the first generation families that came from other planes, and most people assume that they are native. (For all intents and purposes they are, very few creatures in the plane have the 'outsider' type). Aside from the inability to leave (plane shift just randomly places you back on the same plane, and gate simply does not work) the only spells really effected by the dimensional prison are summoning spells. While summoning spells do summon creatures from another plane, they are not dismissable. When the spell ends any control the caster had over the creature is lost, but it is still in the dimension with you. This results in summoning spells very rarely being used for combat, as the monster summoned is likely to attack the caster who summoned it.

The Evil Bastards: (Otherwise known as the characters)

• Kiki, female wiggin thief. Status: Deceased. Not as good a thief as was required, she was ironically killed by a trap she was trying to disarm, and subsequently crushed under a few tonnes of ice. The only sexual predator of the group, Kiki kept an elven mage as a slave and sex toy, who surprisingly outlived her.

• Minnillei, female elven ranger. Status: Deceased. Possessor of the Slayer's Pride, Minnillei seemed cursed from the outset with bad luck, never seeming to get the good rolls when she needed them. She generally dived into combat and was unable to disengage thanks to her cursed weapon. Eaten by a remorhaz and broiled to ashes by the time the party got the carcass of the remorhaz cool enough to retrieve her body.

• Silvera, aka Gofuck Yourself, female elven wizard. Status: Deceased. The sole survivor of an adventuring party that crossed the evil bastards in a bar fight, she surrendered to Durin who then gave her to Kiki as a pet. When Kiki initially asked her what her name was, her reply was 'Go Fuck Yourself' and she was called Gofuck ever since. She plotted to escape several times but was captured by Kiki each time. Eventually she gave up, mostly due to a series of suggestion spells followed by heavy drinking of love potion shooters. She eventually told the group here real name, but is usually referred to as Gofuck, especially to her face. Was eaten by a tiger on the way back to town after a dungeon crawl.

• Krull, aka Self confident Goblin, Gobbie, male goblin sorcerer. Status: Deceased. A long time friend of Durin's, and one of the most popular characters in the group, Krull was usually good at thinking on his feet. While usually acting the role of a henchman or hireling to avoid being considered a threat, Krull spoke for the group while in goblin territories. He focused on heavy damage spells that allowed some degree of control, like flare arrow and lightning bolt. Was killed by animated chains in a recent dungeon crawl.

• Tangar, male dwarven fighter. Status: Active. Like most members of the group, Tangar never knew his parents, but was raised in the state orphanage. A deep sleeper who is not only difficult but also dangerous to wake up, he seems to fly into a rage every morning until he gets his bearings. The only thing he seems to enjoy more than a good fight is bragging about past glories to anyone who can't outrun him. Recently joined with the glimmerskin Raxx, Tangar is now about as powerful as his ego dictates. The glimmerskin is quite fond of Tangar, as it never had a host that enjoys combat as much. The main downside of the glimmerskin is it give Tangar even more heroic battle stories. "Have I told you about the time I fought a bronze dragon? Well I got knocked into a coma three times, but you should see the other guy..."

• Melchiah, ,male human Knight of Takehesis (fighter/cleric). Status: Active. Like most members of the group, Melchiah never knew his birth parents. As a young fighter in training, he had a vision of Takhesis, and has dedicated his life to her cause. Like most paladins, he is honorable to a fault. Has never withdrawn from a fight, and has been known on several occasions to get up and re-join a fray as soon as he returned to conciousness after a near deadly blow. Is a part of the group because he believes that their actions will eventually help the dark lady's cause, but only Takhisis knows how.

• Fera female elven wizard. Status: Active. The only member of this group to not radiate evil, Fera's goals seem to be the simplest: Self preservation. Like most of her comrades, she grew up in the state orphanage. While a talented mage, Fera finds that few consider her a threat when she hangs around with a braggart dwarf, a dark paladin, and a couple of werewolves who openly worship dark Gods. Recently missing and presumed safer than the rest of the group.

• Degarrious male elven psion. Status: Deceased. Only allowed into the group AFTER picking a fight for them, Degarrious seemed doomed at the outset. A skilled spy, Degarrious was completely out of his element in the groups typical charge and hack style of combat. Killed by the group for the bounty on his head.

• Asuka female human turned werewolf cleric. Status: Active. One of the few people to find out that Lycanthrophy can be transmitted by ways other than bite, Asuaka was born a human and grew up in the same orphanage as Melchiah, Kiki, Fera, and Tangar. Preferring to use her clerical skills as a "walking healing stick" Asuka prefers ranged combat using a pair of magical chakrams. Although usually outclassed by Tangar and Melchiah in pure martial skill, her healing abilities and damage reduction give her quite a lot of combat endurance.

• Durin male werewolf former cleric/fighter. Status: Deceased. Asuka's boyfriend, Durin is violently possesive and jealous. When dealing with anyone he doesn't see as a rival for Asuka's affections he is quite amiable. Durin used to be an expert dungeon crawler, but found that smuggling is safer and far more profitable. With the help of his friend Krull, he set up a quite preofitable smuggling ring between warring kingdoms. Since becoming involved with Asuka, however, Durin has given up his smuggling business to join her party. Recently losing his clerical abilities as punishment for disenchanting an artifact, Durin has taken to brooding and has become disillusioned with his patron deity, Belsameth. Dying four times hasn't brighted his mood. Currently has his soul inside the artifact 'Soul Collector.'

• Ritsuko female human sorcerer/cleric. Status: Actively avoiding group. Asuka's half-sister, Ritsuko is every bit the atypical sorcerer, flashy, charismatic, and chaotic. She's a bit promiscuous with an armor fetish, which has gotten her into trouble more than she'd care to admit.

• Memnon male halfdragon orc monk. Status: Missing, presummed nearby. An old friend of Melchiah's, Memnon recently joined the group off Melchiah's reference and a bribe to Ritsuko. Caring little for money and completely focused on turning his body into a perfect fighting machine. Quite deadly until he comes across an opponent resistant to physical attacks, he tends to either dominate combat or be sidelined depending on the opponent.

Notable NPCs:

• Mait male human magi. Tangar found him as he was being kicked out of the Amphipolis Mage Guild, Mait seems to be trying to run the Mage Guild out of business as a personnal grudge. Will beat any price quoted by the guild by 10%, but only on items he is capable of making. In order to prevent open warfare in the streets, the Paladins have significantly beefed up patrols in the area around the Adamantite Tower that serves as Mait's shop and home. (That is of course until the Evil Bastards killed all the Paladins.)

• Grendle male white dragon. Notable for his diplomacy if nothing else, Grendle, a baby white dragon, not only managed to avoid a violent death ath the hands of the evil bastards, he also managed to get them to feed him as a bonus. Living in the tunnel that leads to the entrace of the ice keep, Grendle usually subsists on the leftovers of the victims of the vampires that frequent his home. He also offers to protect the vampires during the day while they sleep.

• Lord Elemond male elven wizard. Lord Elemond is a displaced noble, living in exile from his home after a failed coup attempt. He is quite well off and spends his time plotting revenge on those who wronged him, usually through proxies and the bounty hunter's guild.

• Iasiel female angel cleric. Iasiel is an enigma to the group, and pretty much anyone the group has encountered. She'd save their lives one minute, only to nudge them on a suicide mission the next with no support whatsoever. Having introduced herself by slaying a dragon in less than six seconds, She also has a trickey habit of slipping to the Astral plane to avoid attacks. Unsure as to her age, where she came from, or what she wants, the group are still unsure if she is friend or foe. What bugs them the most is no matter what they do, she always seems to benefit from it, however indirectly.

• Phyllia A Very young blue dragon who recently joined the group as a stray, they warmed to her almost immediately (maybe some fellow orphan thing). She has prooved herself capable in combat, but no match for the heavy hitters of the party.