Esme's Xceptionary
4.30.04
I always thought words should embody grace, beauty, and meaning beyond comprehension. But therein lies the paradox- the purpose of language is to be comprehended, for without compresionhension all the graceful words of centuries would be but hollow shells of a forgotten past. Yet, they're not. The more I contemplate, the more I believe the desire to describe cannot be forfilled by symbols and webster definitions. Even will a heart longing to share, I cannot express what I feel, because that is not the nature of God's creation. We are never to be connected to another human being in that fashion. Through my words I cannot make you understand, and through my actions I can only show you a clumsy interpretation of what resides within me. I must always trust in the goodness of God- for He who created us with such a need must posses the ability to forfill it. We are not to be blissfully happy! We cannot expect it, or else we will self destruct in our pursuit of it. The blood of an eternal soul is eternal love. It is only for a lifetime that we must exist in its absense. And during that lifetime we must pacify the vessel within which the soul resides, but into it, we must not give. Ships do not lead their captians, and neither should a body lead its soul. Faith in the captian will bring the ship home safely, and likewise, faith in God will guide both our souls and their vessels to His land of blissful happiness- to the only true home we will ever know.
5.22.04
The hole in my heart prevents the fluid of life from properly circulating through me... but it isn't even really there! I have this miracle, this life giving gift bestowed upon me which I lack the capacity to fully appreciate. Do I need the pain, or do I just want it? Do I ask for these nails? Must they be so hard?!! I hope I want to change. I hope I want to get better. I hope I want to be content. I only know I can't do it myself, and there is no one detectible with my five feable human senses to show me the way, because they don't know it either. I need to be closer to You. I need You every second. Always, always, always.
Xceptionary Song
Xceptionary Comfort
Xceptionary Sorrow
Xceptionary Love
Email: klondikera@hotmail.com
