April 8, 2003- So I live in Jacksonville, for those of you who don't know. I feel so limited here. So restricted. I feel like I need to break out of here. It's so frustrating. This is such a freakin' weird ass town. We've got necks, yuppies, all kinds of people running around here. I mean I know that's what happens when you live in a big city, but God damn this place is diverse. There's nothing wrong with diversity, believe me, but I just don't feel like I fit in here. I mean, I'm certainly not a neck, and I'm not rich, I'm just kinda in between. I need to get out of here. I need to get away from this. I need to grow up. The only problem is, I can't afford to leave. I can't afford to get out of here. I can't afford to experience the world for myself. I can't afford to be on my own. So I have a solution. A very far out solution. I am sending a tape into the Real World. Oddly enough, it's been a dream to be on that show and I think it might be my chance to get out there and discover who I am. Am I strange? I told Diana and she thinks it's an awesome idea. Justin tells me I have no hope. Dad tells me he can't find the video camera. I mean, J'ville is a gorgeous town: 1 2 3. There's no denying that. It's just not me. It has nothing to offer. All there is here are endless beaches, lush golf courses and uh, yeah that's about it. I hate beaches. I hate going to the beach, the sea life, the sea salt, the sea weed, the wind, the sand. ICK. And golf courses? Yeah okay you're talking to the same person who hit a ball at Adventure Landing and it ended up going over the fence nearly hitting a car on Beach Blvd. Sure I've got a nice stroke, but I can't put. And who my age golfs anyway? Okay so some do, but that's not me. No sir. So I need to move on with the world. I need to get out of here. I need to experience life. I need a life. Oye.