North East Texas Chicken Co-op

Mission Statement The East Texas Chicken Co-Op has been in existence sense 1878. It is in existence to fight for the rights and the lively hood of chickens through out Northeast Texas, regardless of there national origin, color, or plumage. History The Co-Op was founded in 1878, in Pittsburg, Texas as a secret union of social dissidents. Over the next 20 years, the group took a very active position as a behind the sense political lobby. They sponsored many non-violent actions through out the state including rigging elections, training chickens in kung fu, and political assassinations. The Co-Op was nearly destroyed in 1898 by an offshoot of the American Legion after the assassination of their holy chicken “ Kitty.” After a 5-hour firefight, the remainder of the Co-Op found themselves surrounded in a Mount Vernon slaughterhouse. After nearly 10 days of being surrounded, the Co-Op lay on the brink of destruction. But then, out of the night, came a mysterious figure. In little more than five minutes the figure had destroyed the surrounding army, saving the Co-Op, and creating a legend. Not much is known about the figure but from what had been found, and the only thing that he said, we do know some. In the path of destruction, they found a number of feathers, and as he left the seen, he turned to the defenders and called “ I an El Pollo de Muerte! I am the Cluck, Cluck, CLUCK!!!" Rules for El Pollo de Muerte The Co-Op names one special person for an 800-year term to the post of El Pollo de Muerte. The rules follow:

Rules for El Pollo de Muerte

• Must be a chicken or retarted human
• Must be dead or look as though they are
• Must eat onions at least once a week
• Must be at least 200 lbs. (if human)
• Must like to eat insects
• Must use tobacco
• Must live by the maxim: "Cluck, Cluck, CLUCK!!!"
• Must Live in North East Texas
• Must fight the forces of evil in a Marshal Arts inspired musical intitled "Clucking in the Rain"
• Cluck Cluck Pukur (chickens only)