February 24th, 1982 ~ November 22nd, 1997

"God plucks the flowers for His garden when they are most beautiful."

This web page is dedicated to my best friend Laura Hawtrey. She was tragically killed in a car accident when she was only fifteen years old.

Sometimes you meet a person, and even though you've known them for only a short time, they touch your heart in such a way, that it will never be the same. Laura was that kind of person. She was always happy, she could bring a smile to anyones face, and even though her life was far from perfect, Laura never complained.

I first met Laura on Halloween. She lived next door to me and we were both handing out candy. It didn't take long for us to start talking. After that we were inseperable. We spent practically everyday together.

A little more then a year later, something terrible happened. On November 22nd, 1997, Laura was killed in a car accident. My mother woke me up to tell me the sad news and at first, I didn't want to believe it, I couldn't believe it. I never thought something like that could happen, no one ever thinks it could happen. My best friend was gone. All I wanted to know was why something like this could have happened, it wasn't fair, she was too young. But I know a question like that has no answer, no one ever knows why.

It was hard for me to attend Laura's funeral. Knowing I would never see her or hear her voice again was one thing, but seeing her laying there, lifeless... I didn't know if i could handle it. But I did, I had to see her one last time... to say Good Bye.

Many of her friends from school were there. It was sort of comforting knowing that she was loved so much by so many people. And talking with them and sharing memories we had of spending time with laura helped ease some of the pain.

The weeks that followed the funeral were probably the hardest. I was sixteen yrs old, and I had lost my best friend, the person I had spent everyday with for over a year. I didn't know what to do with myself. I spent a lot of time crying and trying to figure out why this happened to her. She had never done anything wrong, she was so young. At school, I would see people laughing and happy, and I thought it was so unfair. It wasn't fair that they should get to be so happy, when I couldn't be, when Laura couldn't be here to have fun with me. I was very angry for a long time. I think it was the only way I knew how to deal with everything.

Now it's been a little more then two years since the car accident. I eventually learned how to live my life again, without laura around. I don't have another best friend now, maybe it's because I don't want to go through this again, or maybe it's because no one can replace Laura. Every now and then I still expect her to come walking in my house laughing about something. But I did move on with my life, I had to. I learned to laugh and have fun again. It's still really sad knowing that I will never see Laura again, but just knowing that I was fortunate enough to know her and to look back on the memories I have makes things easier.

(update 2-15-01) Well its been a little more than 3 years now since the accident. I've gotten on with my life. I no longer live across the street from where Laura used to live, which makes things a little easier. I have a little girl of my own now... Kayis Laura, see a familiar name? :) One day when kaysi is older i can say to her that laura (her middle name) is after my best friend, who helped e become who i am today. Every now and then i have a rough day and get depressed, like 9 days from now, would be her 18th birthday. but I know that she would want me to live my life to its fullest even though she is not here.

This is a really nice poem that reminded me of Laura. I don't know the poems title or author.

A million times we will cry If love alone would have saved you You would never have died.

In life we loved you dearly In death we love you still In our hearts you hold a place No other one can fill.

The golden gates stood open God saw you needed rest God's garden must be beautiful For He always picked the best.

This Without You site is owned by Leeanne.

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