| |
 HOME


|
|
Humor Depot
COMPUTER HELPLINE
This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline.
Needless to say the help desk employee was fired;
however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect
organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee:
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help
you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get
out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the
screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you
when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see
that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's plugged into the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
that there were two cables plugged into the back of it,
not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there
again and find the other cable."
"....... Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -
it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I
have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outrage."
"A power... A power outrage? Aha, Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back
to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a
computer."
|