Humor Depot

Blond Jokes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank.

Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

There was once this magical mirror, which given the truth, would give you anything you disire. If you lied, you would dissapear. A redhead walks up to the mirror and goes"I think i'm the most beautiful women in the world. Poof! She disappears. A brunette goes up to the mirror and goes " I think I'm the most sexiest women in the world". Poof! She disappears. A blonde walks up to the mirror and goes" I think......"Poof! She disappears

There was a blonde taking lessons to fly a helicopter. She was done with all of her ground work and was ready to fly. Up in the helicopter, the instructor says "Take it up 1000 feet." So she takes it up 1000 feet and levels off. The instructor says "Take it up to 2000 feet." She takes it up to 2000 feet and levels it off. The instructor says to himself, ""Hmmmm, what they say about these blondes isn't really true after all."

Then he says "Take it up to 3000." She takes it up 3000 feet, levels it off and they start falling and crash. The instructor says "What happened? You were doing just fine." She says, "Well, I got cold, so I turned off the overhead fan."

There were these guys in a bar and they were talking about how dumb blondes are. A blonde walks in and says that they are not dumb and the men said prove it by coming back tomorrow and naming the captial of any state in the United States. The blonde said sure. So she went home, studied all night long and went back to the bar the next night and said "ask me". The guy asked what was the captial of Florida and the blonde answered "F"

A blonde went to her doctor. The doctor looked at her and asked what was the problem. She responded, "Listen I have this horrible fear, that I've broken every bone in my body." "What do you mean?" asked the doctor "how could that possibly be so, you walked in here?" So the blonde explained her problem more explicitly..."Listen doc, everytime I touch here, or here, or here, or even here (she was touching her earlobe with her index finger)" The doctor looked at her and said "My dear, I believe you have a broken finger"