More than just news…
Guys, a man who called himself you know who, just invited you to a secret wink wink, at the you know what. You guys are sure popular now you’re a subscriber. "Oh yes, news bus, news blast, columns, JQP meetings, news goings. It’s wonderful Leafy; I’ve never felt so accepted my whole life. These people look deep within my soul and assign me a nickname according to the way I act."
Who controls the British crown, who keeps the metric system down, we do, we do.
Who keeps the Atlantis off the maps, who keeps the Martians under raps, we do, we do.
Who holds back the electric car, who make Steve Newtonburg a star, we do, we do.
Who robs Kapfish or their sight, who rigs every Oscar night, we do, we do!
I got a charge out of that!
Have you ever noticed the way that Jim Bauer likes to talk about how he gets a shock out of the gym mats? I think that he likes to be shocked. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………………Fried. "Everybody needs a little KFT!" I think that he volunteers to roll those things up just so he can get shocked. I wonder if he has some mats at his house that he lines up everywhere.
"I think that all students should have to get a shock from those mats before they graduate from Lakeside."-J. Bauer.
"Is it a sentence or a paragraph?"-Benny
"That’s terrible that I almost lost to you!"-Grouch
"What? Ryan likes to sing Celien Dion songs in the shower?"-Mrs. Schomer
"I really like to sing Mariah Carey in the shower!"-Benny
"Are you going to answer my question?"-Benny
I have no clue why I got those quotes when I asked what the people thought about Mr. Bauer and the gym mats but ya never know! That’s the kind of subscribers I have!
1+2=5 The Chris Engelke Story
Mr. Pistachio has some problems adding. After golf on Friday two weeks ago, Engelke thought I had a score of 59 when in fact I had a score of 68! What a loser who can’t add. Even though he’s a subscriber he should know how to add. I have started a fund to help the needy like Engelke. The fund will help me buy him a calculator so he can learn to add golf scores. Maybe a nice little watch one.
My friend Ralf.
On Thursday havek echoed in the halls at Lakeside when Flame-O, (a.k.a. Grouch) was absent. He is what you, the people, thought were the reasons for Degner’s absence.
"He’s uploading Netscape 6.0!"-Benny
"Umm…Because he’s sick!"-Matt
"Because he was publicly embarrassed at the driving range Wednesday night"-KOW
"I think that we should go stack his locker, I know his combination."-Benny
If you are Flame-O or you know why he was really sick, you can take your response, turn it sideways and log onto the www.angelfire.com/wi2/jqptoday and type it in my quote machine!
New Zoo
Immy’s locker, as we all know, is a large empty and yet full Tupperware like type thing. It holds wrappers and some books, food and even animals. Late on Saturday during the Fine Arts Fair, a gorilla was found in the kitchen munching on Nachos. The gorilla was chased back to Jimmy’s locker and was then tranquilized into a sleeping gorilla. If you want to visit the Zoo you can get there by going to Jabroni Drive and heading to Locker 492 or whatever it is.
Teachers panicked, Benny cried
Friday, we had a half-day of school. The teachers were in utter chaos. On the one hand, we had Mr. Hahn who is allergic to snow and he of course, was running around looking for his blue mask. Then we had Mrs. Haviland who was baking a Muffin and she was afraid that the snow would add to much humidity to the dough. And then Degner who was sick again, he ate cheese.
Whatz Sideways?
Everyone must be sick of me. Degner and Dave both were sick on Friday because they couldn’t stand me I guess. I only have one comment on that. HEY MATT!
Golfing with a nut
I can’t say too much, but I did beat Mr. Pistachio on Thursday in a game of golf. So thus, I golfed with a nut.
2 down, 1 left.
Matt Maass is now reading JQP Today. Now I have 2 out of 3 Matt’s that sit at my table, and are in my choir/gym class. Mommy Wow! Matt’s a big boy now!
FAF- Not even close to LAF
At the Fine Arts Fair we had several JQP Today subscribers were there and were helping out. Those few great saints who donated their time to LLHS to helping out included- Joshua schultz, eric duwee, nathan
stark, thank you to all of you who attended. There was also, sarah mackey and tabatha, and grouchetta and a whole bunch of other people who were there helping out.
Don’t forget!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Be sure to visit JQP Today’s web page at www.angelfire.com/wi2/jqptoday and be sure to email me at schultzjoshua@hotmail.com.
This is the official JQP Today symbol, it was created by someone in my 7th grade class. JQP Today wasn’t around yet, but JQP was and I was in need of a symbol. So what I did was I offered a prize to anyone who could draw me a simple symbol for JQP. The guy with his mouth closed was the original. The spit, tongue, and word bubble was later added by me. For more information on JQP visit JQP’s web page at www.angelfire.com/wi2/jqptoday/jqp.htm
