"Come on Janie, you don't have to lie to me, I know you aren't okay. I can see it in your eyes."
"That's just from being tired, Maggie. I really do feel fine otherwise."
"Of course you do," Maggie says as she pats Janie on the wrist. "Now if you change your mind and want to talk, just let me know."
"I will."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
"Okay then. Well I best be going. Got that meeting at ten. Sid really hates it when anyone is late to one of his meetings. If you are one second late it ends with him giving a long sermon about how being late is the unpardonable sin. God nothing it worth having to put up with listening to that crap."
"You don't have to tell me, I was blessed with having to go through one of his meetings myself. Two in fact."
"Oh that's right you did fill in for Ed that time when he was off for that surgery. It is a pity that you never got a promotion out of it. You did great. Everyone said so. Never did understand why you didn't get a break after that."
"I think I would have settled for a decent raise."
"You mean those jerks didn't even give you as much as a bump in pay?"
"Nope."
"Unbelievable."
"It might be unbelievable, but it is reality."
"That's one thing I can influence at least. I'll run it passed Sid. I'm sure he'll agree it was just one of those accounting glitches. I'll let you know. See you later."
"Bye," Janie says as she waves from her cubicle while Maggie runs off for the meeting. She then goes back to typing her report into the computer.
Mentally, she can't forget the conversation, but she also knows the truth. There was no raise in her future despite Maggie's promise. She had been working for the corporation long enough to know how often people got rear-ended by the system. Maggie would try, but in the end, the best she could expect would be a memo of gratitude. White paper was always cheaper than green.
Letting out a muffled sigh a while later, Janie sits back and rotates her head to help ease the tension in her neck. Sitting for hours at her desk and typing was more than just boring, it was straining on her body. She coped since a paycheck with pain was better than no money without pain.
Perhaps lunch would offer her some relief. She often disappeared at lunch to find some quaint little hideaway where she could have something to eat and forget life. The one advantage to working at Citacar was that they were located in a part of the city that abounded with trending restaurants and little coffee houses. It was the city's hub for the affluent set who were always trying to find themselves by seeking out some little place of inspiration.
They would sit and sip on the expensive gourmet coffee and write poetry about suffering. It seemed like a contradiction to her to sit in luxury and try to pen some verse on pain.
But she quit trying to figure how the insanity a long time ago. Instead, she just lived. That was her interpretation of getting through each day without feelings.
And the best way she had found to avoid feeling was to find a way to ignore life. One of her favorite ways was to escape to a place at lunch where she would have several drinks and eat whatever to claim she had actually eaten.
There was actually a time when she worried about returning to work with liquor on her breath. However, she came to appreciate nobody paid her enough attention at work, especially after lunch to give that any thought. Generally after lunch the bosses locked themselves away in their offices, which she suspected was the result of them sleeping off their own liquid meals. She couldn't prove it, but when a Vice President practically staggers down the hall, she figured he didn't have just a burger for lunch.
None of it really mattered though. It never did. She had learned that often enough that just too many things in life honestly didn't make a single difference in terms of reality or what counted.
Perhaps that is why she tried not to stress out over things too much or even allow strife from the pressures of life dig at her very often. Admittedly she did miss the fire of passion from time to time, but it was a sacrifice that she tolerated in order to avoid the problems of getting depress.
"Party of one?" the hostess asked as Janie stood in the entryway of the small restaurant. It was located along one of the city streets with an entrance between two antique shops. When you opened the door you had to go down a long narrow hall to the entryway.
She wasn't clear why the hostess ever asked about how many in her party. Janie had been to the place enough times by herself that it hardly seemed like a question that needed to be asked. Still, I guess it was protocol. And part of her wish she could say that she was with somebody else, but it would have been a fantasy in her case.
Janie wasn't clear what kept bringing her back to the little restaurant. There were so many other places to go and even some she had never visited. But every time she felt in a given mood she would gravitate to this little hole in the wall.
The hostess escorted over to a table that was located near the small fountain located in the center of the dining area. It had a cherub in the center and its waters made the most incredibly soothing sound. She always felt such unbelievable peace when sitting there. It was almost enough to keep her from needing a drink. But she would end up having one anyway, more out of habit.
Still there was something about the fountain that drew her. What, she couldn't say for sure, but something.
"May I take your order?" The waitress asks as she suddenly appears and hovers over Janie's table with her pad and pen.
"Um, bring me a bowl of vegetable soup and a small dinner salad."
"Very good ma'am," the waitress said before turning to leave.
Janie cringed at the word ma'am. They called her grandmother and mother that. She didn't feel like a ma'am. It sounded too ancient. For her it was another stab in the throat about her getting older and without little prospect of life ever improving.
"Have you tried the artichoke dip young lady?" An elderly woman asked at the table next to hers.
"No actually I haven't."
"You should. They make it in a very special way at this restaurant."
"In what way?"
"It's the ingredients. They use a specially growing artichoke. It comes from a soil that is totally unique."
"And how does that affect the taste?"
"It isn't the taste that matters my dear. It is the way it makes you feel."
"Oh?"
"What can I say? It leaves you feeling so enchanted. Yes that is it, enchanted."
"That sounds kind of more like a fairy tale."
"Life can be a fairy tale if you let it be."
"Yes, I'm sure. Perhaps next time I'll give the artichoke dip a try. I already order the soup and salad combination for today."
"Trust me, you need the artichoke dip more than you can imagine," the old lady says as she gets up from the table. "Just order you and try it. I think you'll truly be pleasantly surprised."
"Well."
"Do it," the old lady whispers. "Believe me happiness will result that is more incredible than anything you could possibly imagine."
The old lady's words send cold shivers up and down Janie's spine. As the old woman shuffles towards the exit with the help of a cane, the waitress brings her order. "Could you bring me an order of your artichoke dip."
"Of course," the waitress says with a smile that she didn't have earlier.
Janie took her first bite of the artichoke dip when it arrived. It tasted good, but she couldn't tell taste anything that made it unusual.
About the only thing that was usual was the small strips of fried bread they served with the dip. They were purple. She couldn't taste any flavor with the strips, but did look different.
Plus the dish they served it in was unique. It was shaped like a half a pine cone. Still, the serving dish didn't affect the quality of the taste.
Janie did have to admit that the more she ate the artichoke dip the better it did taste, but it still didn't make her feel different. As she finished her lunch she felt foolish for having actually believed the old woman.
Walking out of the restaurant, Janie wasn't so disappointed in the lack of affects she was promised by the old lady as she was by the simple failure to be able to smile again. It would be wonderful to truly feel happy, if just for once.
Suddenly she felt incredibly lightheaded. She was getting so dizzy. Then she felt herself falling. The ground flew towards it. But she lost consciousness before she felt the walkway touch her.
When she awoke she felt incredibly different. Actually joy truly flowed through her veins. Only problem was she apparently didn't have any veins. In fact she didn't even have a body.
An image flowed through her brain. Unbelievably she found herself aware that she had been turned into an artichoke. This was the stuff nightmares was made of, only in this case she didn't feel afraid. It was as if she was meant to be an artichoke all along.
The voice of the old woman came into her brain telling her welcome. Then in a flash of a moment she understood. Simply, it truly bred happiness. The cycle of transformation was complete. She would be an artichoke for a while till added to a dip.
Afterwards like other blessed to experience this transformation, she will be digested into the bodies of those who eat the dip. Then she will transcend and move into the constant flow of thought, which creates an invisible river in the sky that leads to the cosmos. Later, she would know more than anyone could possible imagine knowing.
With an incredible euphoria swelling in her conscious, she accepted her change. Who would have even known that being happy started with vegetables?
"I feel fine, honest."
©William Robbins
