(**All episodes are a work of fiction. Any resemblence between the names, characters, places or incidents with anyone or anything from the past or present that might tend to get us in trouble is purely coincidental.**)

This weeks episode: NO EXCUSES, BUT PLENTY OF LIES!

"Well maybe a nuclear accident?"

"In Mediocrity?"

"I didn't say it wasn't flawed."

"Hugo that suggestion isn't flawed it is downright stupid."

"If you are trying to make me feel good it isn't working."

"Well I was more concerned over us being realistic."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"Just that. What sense does it make to come up with some lame idea that won't work?"

"Jeez Rash, just trying to get you to smile a bit."

\ "Well save it for another time."

"If you insist."

"Yes, I do."

"Alright then."

"Good, now can we get to reality again?"

"You mean about us being totally screwed?"

"Hugo that isn't helping either."

"You want me lie then?"

"No, I've heard enough of those already."

"Then faking it helps?"

"I didn't say that either."

"You sure aren't being all that much help here Rash." "I'm not helping? You keep shooting down all my genius suggestions."

"Well not quite the brilliance I was hoping for," I reply.

Hugo and I are hiding out at our favorite watering hole. It is the place we always go when the world seems totally impossible.

And these days that is most of the time. I do have to admit that I have my doubts about our current mess.

We have been in them so many times in life but this is way past our normal problems. It is a land we only wish on our enemies.

However, in this case we are stuck. The pathetic victims of our own greed. Like that is anything new.

Still that isn't where I savor our life to be. I prefer profit and indulgence. Headaches never give me smiles. And right now you know the one thing that doesn't happen is that I get any type of joy from knowing this whole cult mess is not working out. Made worse by having the day turn crappy thanks to Merlin and his aliens.

Oh I did start out thinking they were going to be a plus, but not sure I feel that way now. Especially since they do have other that uplifting plans for people.

Not all thank goodness. I am grateful that we get do get to sort through that option. Making sure some are on the save list. A very nice source of relief. Since we are not on the list to be considered future zombies. Still I really don't need to dwell on that part of their plan.

Instead, I think I would prefer to find a way to maybe turn this whole deal into a way that offers some hope. Just not sure how that will happen.

Which is the source of our discussion. To let our minds contemplate any possible options.

Unfortunately, Hugo's idea of helping was to suggest a nuclear accident. Hardly the source of reality in our city. It is the sad product of his having already soaked up too much booze. So his brain is less than coming up with good options.

But still I keep hoping he can offer some form of real creative. Why, I'm not sure, but just sounds better than saying our situation is hopeless.

So we sit, keep drinking and try to smile. With the faint glimmer of hope that it will result in something good.

"Oh come on Rash, don't panic on me."

"Well seems like a good time to me."

"Don't think that is the best choice."

"Might be fun."

"I don't get the impression here that you are quite in the mood to take this whole deal serious."

"I'm trying to get you to relax Rash."

"Well it isn't working."

"Doesn't sound like you are trying very hard."

"Can we try to come up with something realistic then?"

"You mean a realistic way for us to sucker a bunch of aliens so they won't wipe out our city and turn it's citizens in to mindless zombies?"

"Um, yeah, that's about it."

"And to think you thought this was going to be hard."

"It hasn't been easy that is for sure."

"Hey look on the bright side Rash."

"Which is?"

"We are still able to drink."

"But question is for how much longer?"

"Ah, well that we do have to work on I suppose."

"Yes, Hugo, that was the whole idea here."

"I'll drink to that."

"Cute."

"Thank you."

"Now that we have had our toast, I think we need a real solution for a change."

"Right, sounds good."

"Might sound better if you came up with a good option."

"Er, I'm working on it."

"Well try a little harder."

"Wait a minute. Why is it always my job?"

"You are the writer."

"So? You're the politician."

"Like that really matters right now."

"Okay, okay Rash, let's get serious then."

"You first."

"Alright. I have one idea."

"Yeah?"

"Yep. We get Colonel Stickemstill's help."

"You call that help?"

"Sure. He and his men can attack."

"Attack? How?"

"Oh easy, just yell charge and go for it."

"But they don't have an bullets!"

"We can provide them blanks."

"That is your big solution?"

"Why not?"

"I guess because it is stupid."

"You didn't say it had to be sane."

"But it would help."

"Hmmm, and even though getting rid of the colonel would hardly upset me, I'm not sure it will solve our problem Hugo."

"I was figuring while Merlin and his bunch were wiping them out we could make an escape."

"Well now that has some merit."

"See, just need to work out where we go."

"But what happens to the rest of the city?"

"Who cares?"

"You really want us to save our butts while letting the rest get wiped out."

"Is that a problem?"

"Not quite the image I was hoping for."

"Why?"

"You really want me to agree to be known as the ones who sold out the human race?"

"We could save a few of the chicks if you want."

"Oh that is such a great help."

"What are you worried about?"

"I don't know, our reputation I guess."

"Hey, I will take care of that with the news."

"Not quite enough for me."

"Don't tell me you got religion now?"

"No Hugo, not quite. Just prefer to not that be our last memory."

"Well let's see, you do accept somebody need to be sacrificed?"

"Kind of."

"What do you mean kind of Rash? It is either yes or no?"

"Don't think I like the word sacrifice."

"You have a different one?"

"How about volunteers?"

"Hmmm, okay. But they are still going to end up Merlin's slaves."

"That part doesn't bother me. At least it doesn't mean like dead."

"So you are okay with it as long as nobody get killed?"

"I think so."

"No problem them."

"Glad you think so."

"Yes I do Hugo."

"Now that we got that settled, the next deal would be to have a lottery then."

"A lottery?"

"Yeah, for free vacation."

"Ah, now that has possibilities."

"See and by the time nobody realizes the people didn't return we'll be gone."

"Now that I can live with."

"Cool. Then a lottery it is."

"Yeah, now what do we call it?"

"I got it."

"A little bit of heaven."

"We just won't say heaven for who."

Want to see Rash tell all? Then drop by his blog MAYOR RASH LIMBURGER

©William Robbins
penman_1@hotmail.com