Crack A Smile

The Best Thing You Ever Had (Yeah, Blues!) I won't ask where you're going If you don't ask where I've been 'Cause if you're looking for an answer, babe I wouldn't know where to begin. I don't know what I want sometimes But I sure know what I likes You've got that thing about you Gets me hot inside If it makes no sense when I wrote this song Cause half way through it you were turning me on Chorus #1: Lay me down I just might be your kind I'll show you a better way We can do away the time If you stop looking so hard I think you just might find I ain't finding it so bad Might be the best thing you ever had You know a little 'bout love and I know a lot about hate I believe you gotta make things happen You believe in fate But this won't be the first time that we didn't see eye to eye You may not be religious but I'll make you see God If you give me a try I know love can get me through it If you give me that look we'll get down to it Chorus #2: Don't shoot me down I'm not a social disease You've got that thing about you Bring a grown man to his knees I'll teach you baby 'bout them birds and them bees When you get around And think about it ain't so bad Might be the best thing you ever had Best thing I ever had Solo Ah, give me some of that! When I put out the dog And keep them old ghosts out of bed I ain't looking for a little to save me Just some place to lay my head I'm the one to right your wrong If you give me a chance and I'll turn you on Chorus #1 Chorus #2

Shut Up and Make Love Drop the bass! (Do you like that?) Shipped out on her knees Her old man thinks you're a social disease Dog pissed on the floor left a stain Your old lady's daddy driving you insane She stopped taking the pill Then left you sued you for a mil You've got your problems, boy set them free Can't find a good wife can't find a good job Can't find the keys to my car I lost my dog I lost my brain I lost my girl to a big movie star (whatever) Now I'm standing at the crossroads trying to find my way home But the truth is baby I'm so Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely Sometimes I'd just Chorus: Like to jump in and get me some funky When push comes to shove You talk too much and way too rough How 'bout we both shut up and let's make love I'm home hangin', the walls bangin' It's the neighbor next door They're talking trashy or doing the nasty They keep me up until four So they keep on going more and more I hear and said "Lord, I'm half crazy" I gotta get me some of that In and out, and in and out,and in and out Chorus When the clothes start flying There's no denying Gonna get some funky Good, good funky Your blood starts pumpin' Baby start somethin' Here oh right here, right here baby Oh give me a little bit of loving Solo It's all so simple I'll bring the ripple What's your state of mind? How 'bout we drink, get drunk Or bite into a big flesh pie Chorus I said, I got plans yes in deed You need fire where I'd been seeing When push comes to shove Skip of your lip and all the politics How 'bout we both shut up and let's make love It would sound like this.... (Rapping beatbox noises) Stop!

Baby Gets Around I can't say I ain't been around That I ain't done my time Seems like this big old world Has been one big shoe to shine But I never ever took a dime For what comes naturally And if I never knew the truth Well she'd be fine with me One night she stayed over here And left her little black book behind Well that little black book ain't little no more And it wasn't too hard too find Chorus: She'd leave me in this lonely room The thought just made me sick It's funny how the pieces fit My baby gets around a bit Yeah, my baby gets around a bit Her pager would ring, it's a funny thing She'd have to go right away She always had a wad of cash Much more than her job could pay I'd ask her where she's going to And this is what she'd say "I gotta meet someone for an interview He's only in town today" Always a little bit overdressed Much more than I thought he'd be High heel shoes and day glow dress Ain't seem strange to me She'd leave me in this lonely room While some stud got his sex Just then the thought occurred to me My baby gets around a bit My baby gets around a bit Oooh, my baby gets around a bit... Solo Took her to the local bar Where I like to hang Every guy that passed her by They all seemed to know her name They all called her by a different name And one of them winked at me Some guy named Stan said "you're the man I heard you get it for free" She'd leave me in this lonely room And the thought hit me like a brick It's funny how the pieces fit My baby gets around a bit Ooooh, my baby gets around a bit Ooooh, my baby gets around a bit My baby gets around a bit My baby gets around.... My baby..

Cover of the Rolling Stone Coughing, Blues?: "Gol, Bret--don't touch me there!" Bret: I'm gonna tell you who we are. Well we're big rock singers we got golden fingers And we're loved everywhere we go (That sounds like us) We sing about beauty and we sing about truth At ten million dollars a show (Yeah, right!) We take all kinda pills That give us all kinda thrills But the thrill we've never known Is the thrill that it gets ya when you get your picture On the cover of the Rolling Stone Chorus: Rolling Stone I'm gonna see my picture on the cover Stone Gonna buy five copies for my mother Stone Gonna see my smiling face On the cover of the Rolling Stone I got a freaky old lady named Cocaine Katie Who embroiders on my jeans I got my poor old gray-haired Daddy Driving my limousine. Now it's all designed to blow our minds, But our minds won't really be blown Like the blow that'll getcha When you get your picture On the cover of the Rolling Stone Chorus Spoken: Hey, I know how!!! Solo Spoken: Beautiful! We gotta lot of little teen-aged blue-eyed groupies Who do anything we say We got a genuine Indian Guru He's teaching us a better way We got all the friends that money can buy, So we never have to be alone And we keep gettin' richer, But we can't get our picture On the cover of the Rolling Stone Chorus Talking: I don't know why we ain't on the cover, baby! Ah we're beautiful fellas! I ain't kiddin' you man, we'd make a beautiful cover I mean, I can see it right now--we be up front, Oh, we be smilin'....Beautiful!

Let Me Be the One So you want to talk about the pain Talk to me, please explain Maybe I know what your going through You got so much pain to hide You keep it locked up deep inside In a room no one gets to I can't feel the way you feel Maybe I, I've got those same scars, same scars to heal Wish you've got to understand I want to be the only man to Ever touch you baby To ever... Chorus: I'll be there should the sun go down Lift you up to a higher ground Let me in, let me be the one I'll be there should you fall from grace Wipe those tear drops from your face I see no more damage done Baby, baby, Just let me be the one I want to be the one to show to you??? Should the rains come down Never let you drown I'll pull you through I want to hear you when you scream Be your prince when you dream Hold you close when you cry I said... I want to feel your love, your hate Should you be lost, I'll bear your cross of pain Love seal your fate I'll comfort you in fits of rage I'll be the book you can turn the page, and I'll still love baby I'll still... Chorus I gotta touch you I'll see no more damage done You gotta let me Solo I hear the hurt I hear the scars You can lay your hand right down across my heart Then you'll learn to understand I want to be the only man to Ever touch you baby, ever touch you baby ever Chorus I'll be calm in fits of rage Hold you close in times of pain I see more damage done Baby, baby, you got to let me be the one

Mr. Smiley I heard a funny thing about me Lately I've been living on the edge I won't say that ain't true, But who the hell are you I don't recognize my own face or my friends. Chorus: Hey, Mr. Smiley Read the writing on the wall Wake up, Mr. Smiley Before you don't wake up at all, up at all Today, I hired me a yes man He simply agrees with everything I say He does all my dirty deals And feeds me my pills As long as I'm still breathing he gets paid Chorus Solo Yesterday I had a conversation With all them voices in my head One said I was no good One said I should quit One said to remind myself to get myself a fix Chorus Hey Mr. Smiley And I'm feeling ten feet tall Bye Mr. Smiley You got to go now, they just called, they just called

Sexual Thing (3:34) (Laughing) Jam Blues Man There you lay All by yourself So please allow me to introduce myself I welcome you To the house of sin Open your mind And let the games begin I'm your lust and I'm your greed I'm every sick thought that you ever done dreamed Eaten your cake Now you want some more Mmm, where have I heard that before? Chorus: I am your I am your I'm just your sexual thing I am your I am your I'm just your sexual Ain't nothin' but a sexual It's just a sexual thing Lyin' there You look so horny Talk is cheap And startin' to bore me Hold me close And tell me it feels so good But damn, girl You knew it would Chorus Solo Glad to have met you So pleased that you've come But I must be movin' on My work here is done Best believe me you, child The pleasure's been all mine If you're in need, please do indeed Call me anytime Chorus They've got you medicated It's got you so frustrated He caught you masturbatin' You rather be fornicating Well then you come with me I'm gonna set you free It's just a sexual Ain't nothin' but a sexual It's just a sexual thing Talking: What you've witnessed is a sexual fantasy Please do not try these tricks at home

Lay Your Body Down (5:27) I've spent my life waiting For that famous final scene I believe you know the one-- When she falls in love with me As for you, you've been fakin' your smile Fillin' your time on small talk And cheap wine Knowing in your heart there was someplace That you'd rather be So right or wrong, I wrote you this song To tell you how I feel Don't put up no fight You just turn off the lights Walk over here to me Chorus: And lay your body down on me Down on me tonight, oh yeah Oh, let your tears fall down on me Down on me tonight, oh yeah As for me I've lied to, denied to fight with, and tried to apologize for all my ways To all the women who were fool enough to fall in love with me You played your role like a movie Got your lines for who is, who was, who would be Somehow you lost track While real love slipped away, yeah So for tonight, just turn off the lights And let those real feelings show There's no wrong or right but until you try you're never gonna know Chorus Before you was mine I was so lonely Ain't it a shame Your heart must feel pain before you get back on your feet again Solo So let's draw the blinds Forget wasted time And let them old demons die Take ahold of my hand Then you'd understand Why love's worth one more try Chorus out

No Ring, No Gets Lately boy, your head ain't right And nothing seems to thrill you Word on the streets is No sex no more 'cause, it'll kill you You touch, she bites, You push, she shoves Then she yells in your ear No glove, no love Oh, it ruined the mood But you know she's right When the biggest talks and the littlest walks You better learn how to walk the walk Chorus: As far as I can see It's really no big mystery It's the same old story No ring, no gets It ain't the boat you float It's the motion in the ocean and I quote: Before you start pumping that feul without your jets No ring, no gets This feeling coming over you It's a variable strength of emotion You keep thinking your smooth Start making your move But your lady starts causin' commotion You want to round the bases She knows that's for sure But Miss Palm and her five sisters Don't cut it no more You know tonight you'd like to buy her a kite(?) But the wind ain't blowing you got that right Chorus Solo Woman hold the lock A man's known that for years You're going up inside to persuade that key Could bring a man to tears Your gun is loaded You got her right in sight About to pull your trigger When the girl pulls out the lights But keep your cool don't make a scene Cause her ? ? Chorus (2x's) But you won't find (repeat).. Spoken: Shut Up!

That's the Way I Like It When it's boy meets girl and it starts a fire Two hearts burn with your desire A candle burns a midnight oil Loves the love and raise the spoil Chorus: When the girl goes down That's the way I like it, like it, like it, like it When the wheel goes 'round Neither one can fight it Can't fight the lust Can't find the truth Ain't nothing you can do When the girl goes down Hollywood and Vine and a hundred more All the wives there couldn't take it no more Now standing on the ledge and faces truth As she ate 'em up spit 'em up as time was through Chorus Misery loves company Nothing you can do When the girl goes down Solo I woke up this morning in the paper read The Hollywood Police found a young man dead No name, no face, and known ID Just no ? ? arrives in her strange world And the story goes it's boy meets girl Chorus (2x's) Can't fight the lust Can't find the truth Ain't nothing you can do

Tragically Unhip I'm uneducated My clothes outdated I'm not politically correct I still hate small talk And fast cars and hard rock Still adds up my? I should be expressing All my inner repression I guess depression's now a cultural thing My record company says Blow my brains out my head I make the cover of every magazine Chorus: Step inside my nightmare Welcome to my trip I cannot pretend and I will not defend Why this good old boy's so tragically unhip I still like bad girls Who rock me hard in my world Its monkey see and monkey do When I'm ? I got an old waterbed I like to trip into the dead I've keep a poster of KISS on my wall I still curse, smoke, drink and toke and make love in the back of my car Chorus Solo I like that home grown Mind blowing You're bringing R rolling They see strange stalking Mind stopping Ass swinging Street walking Floozies Chorus

Doin' As I See on my TV When I was a child staring at the tube I saw sex, violence and death on the news One day I saw the Duke kill someone Daddy said don't worry boy, they're just acting son All I want is attention from somebody Somebody pay attention to me Like them actors I got no shame I want my fifteen minutes of fame Doin' as I see on my TV Doin' as I see on my TV Can I get on the news if I kill my wife? Would you respect me more if I took my life? I tried to act and my career just flopped So I beat up my neighbors and I got on "Cops" All I want's a millions bucks from somebody Somebody pay a million bucks to me I could shoot and rape and kill And buy me a house in Beverly Hills, please? Doin' as I see on my TV Doin' as I see on my TV I'd even do a porno flick, like all them Hollywood chicks I'm doin' it as I see on my TV Took my girl to rent a porno movie I thought that it'd be kinda groovy I thought that'd this impress my lover And there she was right on the cover! All I want is attention from somebody Somebody pay attention to me I'm a man I got no shame I want my fifteen minutes of fame Doin' as I see on my TV Doin' as I see on my TV Hell I'd even do a porno flick, like my hero Rocky did Doin' as I see on my TV Whistling, gargling Spoken: I am not aware!