Crack A Smile
The Best Thing You Ever Had
(Yeah, Blues!)
I won't ask where you're going
If you don't ask where I've been
'Cause if you're looking for an answer, babe
I wouldn't know where to begin.
I don't know what I want sometimes
But I sure know what I likes
You've got that thing about you
Gets me hot inside
If it makes no sense when I wrote this song
Cause half way through it you were turning me on
Chorus #1:
Lay me down
I just might be your kind
I'll show you a better way
We can do away the time
If you stop looking so hard
I think you just might find
I ain't finding it so bad
Might be the best thing you ever had
You know a little 'bout love and
I know a lot about hate
I believe you gotta make things happen
You believe in fate
But this won't be the first time that
we didn't see eye to eye
You may not be religious but I'll make you see God
If you give me a try
I know love can get me through it
If you give me that look we'll get down to it
Chorus #2:
Don't shoot me down
I'm not a social disease
You've got that thing about you
Bring a grown man to his knees
I'll teach you baby
'bout them birds and them bees
When you get around
And think about it ain't so bad
Might be the best thing you ever had
Best thing I ever had
Solo
Ah, give me some of that!
When I put out the dog
And keep them old ghosts out of bed
I ain't looking for a little to save me
Just some place to lay my head
I'm the one to right your wrong
If you give me a chance and I'll turn you on
Chorus #1
Chorus #2
Shut Up and Make Love
Drop the bass!
(Do you like that?)
Shipped out on her knees
Her old man thinks you're a social disease
Dog pissed on the floor left a stain
Your old lady's daddy driving you insane
She stopped taking the pill
Then left you sued you for a mil
You've got your problems, boy set them free
Can't find a good wife can't find a good job
Can't find the keys to my car
I lost my dog I lost my brain
I lost my girl to a big movie star (whatever)
Now I'm standing at the crossroads trying to find my way home
But the truth is baby I'm so
Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely
Sometimes I'd just
Chorus:
Like to jump in and get me some funky
When push comes to shove
You talk too much and way too rough
How 'bout we both shut up and let's make love
I'm home hangin', the walls bangin'
It's the neighbor next door
They're talking trashy or doing the nasty
They keep me up until four
So they keep on going more and more
I hear and said "Lord, I'm half crazy"
I gotta get me some of that
In and out, and in and out,and in and out
Chorus
When the clothes start flying
There's no denying
Gonna get some funky
Good, good funky
Your blood starts pumpin'
Baby start somethin'
Here oh right here, right here baby
Oh give me a little bit of loving
Solo
It's all so simple
I'll bring the ripple
What's your state of mind?
How 'bout we drink, get drunk
Or bite into a big flesh pie
Chorus
I said, I got plans yes in deed
You need fire where I'd been seeing
When push comes to shove
Skip of your lip and all the politics
How 'bout we both shut up and let's make love
It would sound like this....
(Rapping beatbox noises)
Stop!
Baby Gets Around
I can't say I ain't been around
That I ain't done my time
Seems like this big old world
Has been one big shoe to shine
But I never ever took a dime
For what comes naturally
And if I never knew the truth
Well she'd be fine with me
One night she stayed over here
And left her little black book behind
Well that little black book ain't little no more
And it wasn't too hard too find
Chorus:
She'd leave me in this lonely room
The thought just made me sick
It's funny how the pieces fit
My baby gets around a bit
Yeah, my baby gets around a bit
Her pager would ring, it's a funny thing
She'd have to go right away
She always had a wad of cash
Much more than her job could pay
I'd ask her where she's going to
And this is what she'd say
"I gotta meet someone for an interview
He's only in town today"
Always a little bit overdressed
Much more than I thought he'd be
High heel shoes and day glow dress
Ain't seem strange to me
She'd leave me in this lonely room
While some stud got his sex
Just then the thought occurred to me
My baby gets around a bit
My baby gets around a bit
Oooh, my baby gets around a bit...
Solo
Took her to the local bar
Where I like to hang
Every guy that passed her by
They all seemed to know her name
They all called her by a different name
And one of them winked at me
Some guy named Stan said "you're the man
I heard you get it for free"
She'd leave me in this lonely room
And the thought hit me like a brick
It's funny how the pieces fit
My baby gets around a bit
Ooooh, my baby gets around a bit
Ooooh, my baby gets around a bit
My baby gets around a bit
My baby gets around....
My baby..
Cover of the Rolling Stone
Coughing, Blues?: "Gol, Bret--don't touch me there!"
Bret: I'm gonna tell you who we are.
Well we're big rock singers
we got golden fingers
And we're loved everywhere we go
(That sounds like us)
We sing about beauty
and we sing about truth
At ten million dollars a show
(Yeah, right!)
We take all kinda pills
That give us all kinda thrills
But the thrill we've never known
Is the thrill that it gets ya
when you get your picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone
Chorus:
Rolling Stone
I'm gonna see my picture on the cover
Stone
Gonna buy five copies for my mother
Stone
Gonna see my smiling face
On the cover of the Rolling Stone
I got a freaky old lady named Cocaine Katie
Who embroiders on my jeans
I got my poor old gray-haired Daddy
Driving my limousine.
Now it's all designed to blow our minds,
But our minds won't really be blown
Like the blow that'll getcha
When you get your picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone
Chorus
Spoken: Hey, I know how!!!
Solo
Spoken: Beautiful!
We gotta lot of little teen-aged
blue-eyed groupies
Who do anything we say
We got a genuine Indian Guru
He's teaching us a better way
We got all the friends that money can buy,
So we never have to be alone
And we keep gettin' richer,
But we can't get our picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone
Chorus
Talking:
I don't know why we ain't on the cover, baby!
Ah we're beautiful fellas!
I ain't kiddin' you man, we'd make a beautiful cover
I mean, I can see it right now--we be up front,
Oh, we be smilin'....Beautiful!
Let Me Be the One
So you want to talk about the pain
Talk to me, please explain
Maybe I know what your going through
You got so much pain to hide
You keep it locked up deep inside
In a room no one gets to
I can't feel the way you feel
Maybe I, I've got those same scars, same scars to heal
Wish you've got to understand
I want to be the only man to
Ever touch you baby
To ever...
Chorus:
I'll be there should the sun go down
Lift you up to a higher ground
Let me in, let me be the one
I'll be there should you fall from grace
Wipe those tear drops from your face
I see no more damage done
Baby, baby,
Just let me be the one
I want to be the one to show to you???
Should the rains come down
Never let you drown
I'll pull you through
I want to hear you when you scream
Be your prince when you dream
Hold you close when you cry
I said...
I want to feel your love, your hate
Should you be lost, I'll bear your cross of pain
Love seal your fate
I'll comfort you in fits of rage
I'll be the book you can turn the page, and
I'll still love baby
I'll still...
Chorus
I gotta touch you I'll see no more damage done
You gotta let me
Solo
I hear the hurt I hear the scars
You can lay your hand right down across my heart
Then you'll learn to understand
I want to be the only man to
Ever touch you baby, ever touch you baby ever
Chorus
I'll be calm in fits of rage
Hold you close in times of pain
I see more damage done
Baby, baby, you got to let me be the one
Mr. Smiley
I heard a funny thing about me
Lately I've been living on the edge
I won't say that ain't true,
But who the hell are you
I don't recognize my own face or my friends.
Chorus:
Hey, Mr. Smiley
Read the writing
on the wall
Wake up, Mr. Smiley
Before you don't wake
up at all, up at all
Today, I hired me a yes man
He simply agrees with everything I say
He does all my dirty deals
And feeds me my pills
As long as I'm still breathing he gets paid
Chorus
Solo
Yesterday I had a conversation
With all them voices in my head
One said I was no good
One said I should quit
One said to remind myself to get myself a fix
Chorus
Hey Mr. Smiley
And I'm feeling ten feet tall
Bye Mr. Smiley
You got to go now, they just called, they just called
Sexual Thing (3:34)
(Laughing)
Jam Blues Man
There you lay
All by yourself
So please allow me
to introduce myself
I welcome you
To the house of sin
Open your mind
And let the games begin
I'm your lust
and I'm your greed
I'm every sick thought
that you ever done dreamed
Eaten your cake
Now you want some more
Mmm, where have I
heard that before?
Chorus:
I am your
I am your
I'm just your sexual thing
I am your
I am your
I'm just your sexual
Ain't nothin' but a sexual
It's just a sexual thing
Lyin' there
You look so horny
Talk is cheap
And startin' to bore me
Hold me close
And tell me it feels so good
But damn, girl
You knew it would
Chorus
Solo
Glad to have met you
So pleased that you've come
But I must be movin' on
My work here is done
Best believe me you, child
The pleasure's been all mine
If you're in need, please do indeed
Call me anytime
Chorus
They've got you medicated
It's got you so frustrated
He caught you masturbatin'
You rather be fornicating
Well then you come with me
I'm gonna set you free
It's just a sexual
Ain't nothin' but a sexual
It's just a sexual thing
Talking:
What you've witnessed is a sexual fantasy
Please do not try these tricks at home
Lay Your Body Down (5:27)
I've spent my life waiting
For that famous final scene
I believe you know the one--
When she falls in love with me
As for you, you've been fakin' your smile
Fillin' your time
on small talk
And cheap wine
Knowing in your heart there was someplace
That you'd rather be
So right or wrong,
I wrote you this song
To tell you how I feel
Don't put up no fight
You just turn off the lights
Walk over here to me
Chorus:
And lay your body down on me
Down on me tonight, oh yeah
Oh, let your tears fall down on me
Down on me tonight, oh yeah
As for me I've lied to, denied to
fight with, and tried to
apologize for all my ways
To all the women who were fool enough to fall
in love with me
You played your role
like a movie
Got your lines for who is,
who was, who would be
Somehow you lost track
While real love slipped away, yeah
So for tonight, just turn off the lights
And let those real feelings show
There's no wrong or right
but until you try
you're never gonna know
Chorus
Before you was mine
I was so lonely
Ain't it a shame
Your heart must feel pain
before you get back on your feet again
Solo
So let's draw the blinds
Forget wasted time
And let them old demons die
Take ahold of my hand
Then you'd understand
Why love's worth one more try
Chorus out
No Ring, No Gets
Lately boy, your head ain't right
And nothing seems to thrill you
Word on the streets is
No sex no more 'cause, it'll kill you
You touch, she bites,
You push, she shoves
Then she yells in your ear
No glove, no love
Oh, it ruined the mood
But you know she's right
When the biggest talks and the littlest walks
You better learn how to walk the walk
Chorus:
As far as I can see
It's really no big mystery
It's the same old story
No ring, no gets
It ain't the boat you float
It's the motion in the ocean and I quote:
Before you start pumping that feul without your jets
No ring, no gets
This feeling coming over you
It's a variable strength of emotion
You keep thinking your smooth
Start making your move
But your lady starts causin' commotion
You want to round the bases
She knows that's for sure
But Miss Palm and her five sisters
Don't cut it no more
You know tonight you'd like to buy her a kite(?)
But the wind ain't blowing you got that right
Chorus
Solo
Woman hold the lock
A man's known that for years
You're going up inside to persuade that key
Could bring a man to tears
Your gun is loaded
You got her right in sight
About to pull your trigger
When the girl pulls out the lights
But keep your cool don't make a scene
Cause her ?
?
Chorus (2x's)
But you won't find (repeat)..
Spoken: Shut Up!
That's the Way I Like It
When it's boy meets girl and it starts a fire
Two hearts burn with your desire
A candle burns a midnight oil
Loves the love and raise the spoil
Chorus:
When the girl goes down
That's the way I like it, like it, like it, like it
When the wheel goes 'round
Neither one can fight it
Can't fight the lust
Can't find the truth
Ain't nothing you can do
When the girl goes down
Hollywood and Vine and a hundred more
All the wives there couldn't take it no more
Now standing on the ledge and faces truth
As she ate 'em up spit 'em up as time was through
Chorus
Misery loves company
Nothing you can do
When the girl goes down
Solo
I woke up this morning in the paper read
The Hollywood Police found a young man dead
No name, no face, and known ID
Just no ?
? arrives in her strange world
And the story goes it's boy meets girl
Chorus (2x's)
Can't fight the lust
Can't find the truth
Ain't nothing you can do
Tragically Unhip
I'm uneducated
My clothes outdated
I'm not politically correct
I still hate small talk
And fast cars and hard rock
Still adds up my?
I should be expressing
All my inner repression
I guess depression's now a cultural thing
My record company says
Blow my brains out my head
I make the cover of every magazine
Chorus:
Step inside my nightmare
Welcome to my trip
I cannot pretend and I will not defend
Why this good old boy's so tragically unhip
I still like bad girls
Who rock me hard in my world
Its monkey see and monkey do
When I'm ?
I got an old waterbed
I like to trip into the dead
I've keep a poster of KISS on my wall
I still curse, smoke, drink and toke
and make love in the back of my car
Chorus
Solo
I like that home grown
Mind blowing
You're bringing
R rolling
They see strange stalking
Mind stopping
Ass swinging
Street walking
Floozies
Chorus
Doin' As I See on my TV
When I was a child staring at the tube
I saw sex, violence and death on the news
One day I saw the Duke kill someone
Daddy said don't worry boy, they're just acting son
All I want is attention from somebody
Somebody pay attention to me
Like them actors I got no shame
I want my fifteen minutes of fame
Doin' as I see on my TV
Doin' as I see on my TV
Can I get on the news if I kill my wife?
Would you respect me more if I took my life?
I tried to act and my career just flopped
So I beat up my neighbors and I got on "Cops"
All I want's a millions bucks from somebody
Somebody pay a million bucks to me
I could shoot and rape and kill
And buy me a house in Beverly Hills, please?
Doin' as I see on my TV
Doin' as I see on my TV
I'd even do a porno flick, like all them Hollywood chicks
I'm doin' it as I see on my TV
Took my girl to rent a porno movie
I thought that it'd be kinda groovy
I thought that'd this impress my lover
And there she was right on the cover!
All I want is attention from somebody
Somebody pay attention to me
I'm a man I got no shame
I want my fifteen minutes of fame
Doin' as I see on my TV
Doin' as I see on my TV
Hell I'd even do a porno flick, like my hero Rocky did
Doin' as I see on my TV
Whistling, gargling
Spoken: I am not aware!
