Krista's Bunch Of Crap

*Choice*

Thoughts proceeding this...

What's along with this?

I don't know who wits below this tree with me...

Is it you? Are you there?

Faces are foggy

Branches outstretch

...past these voices

...past the skin

surrounding these souls...

Does God make real souls

...anymore...?

or is it all ran by...choice of chemicals?

Well, what's your poison?

What's your truth?

...to drown the voice...inside your head

....................................

*Chalkboard*

He said he would rather swim in a world full of silence

silent sex

I watch the days go by in flat seconds

...metaphors scratching on stumbled words...

meaning only themselves on stumbled sentences

...rolling from my tounge unto thee...

But he only watches

...for seconds...

screaming on the silence of his own world

screaching on the chalkboard of my heart...

....................................

*Forbidden*

sick from a trick...I tried

...to walk in another girls shoes

Laid a quick thought and I ate

what I was unwisely advised

Yeah...that tip was poison

Caution starved for one night

of stupid reason...

Woke up with disgust...

ran away in those dirty shoes

But couldn't run very far...

What gives?

God's not going to feel sorry

for how easily my skirt fell off

...one night

Despite my morals before it

Despite my lesson...needn't be learned

I feel less strong and steady

I feel I've joined something

unatractively common...call it mainstream

so they can get into what I thought was somethign

...better than this...

I just had to be with her

...hold her hand so I could understand

...how dumb one girl can be...

in this forbidden plea

...trespassing sacred ground

....................................

*Adaption*

Simultaneous laughters

echoing through the hallways

identical in brand

and if I walk fast enough

I can catch these words before they fall off into the rain

and if I stare cold enough

personal space will remain clear

and my thoughts will filter through

Quick steps, I continue

remembering the last days

and how the world makes me ill

The young man, ashamed of his buttered bread

myself, so fed up with this power struggle

frustrations, I can not control

This worold, allowing me to isolate myself

Laughters scream on, robotic in tone

I can not adapt to this

And if I have, it makes me sad

that I am all too much aware

....................................

*Ice cream Lady*

She carries her legs white

...as if they are just insignificant stems

...hallowed out

in what the sun can not touch

and desperately wishing they were part

of something more

as she pretends

...just as desperately

that she were more too...

....................................

*Invisible Spider*

I watch my days pass me by

while I drink just to make things go a little quicker

And the see-through spider

crawls along my purse strap

...like a ghost coming nearer over hills of leather

...containing all I keep with me

A gentle breeze blows out between my lips

And his ghost-like legs move to a place

...I can no longer see

A place of darkness

...invisible as he

....................................

*Near*

Will I document, must I document

This...with all your strings attatched

and unborn babies, diving into that fishbowl

I see so many drwoning in

And I was never one of those

I was anything but a lie

Just wanting to make love to you

with touch, and nothing more

feel with something other than your skin

baby...I've got no complains,

Just rambling on about my weather

and how I'm getting used to it

and what I see in the mirror

isn't all that disgusting

I don't care much if you don't want to

talk longer than two minutes

cuz all I need right now is in my heart,

is in my head, is in my soul

that very spot I keep you near

....................................

*Dex Days*

She spins in her electronic mess

unaware of the simple path

the simple plan

she scatters leaves

over and out

stirring up the garbage

she thought was left

for play

....................................

*Alone*

Equal to your hold

...only in different tones

I sit alone

surrounded by people

i know so well

But no one knows me...anymore

Equal to your kisses

subtracting your saliva

only a different equation

The value is unknown

Which holds more?

....................................

*Mourning the Morning*

Sunrise

Surprise

but he'll be gone again

Shadow flickering the night light

like a sick spider's ghost

climbing a candle stick

You're not well

because his eyes just may be on you

Well remember...

how blind a boy is born

and the only eyes

...are your own

....................................

*Forever*

Funny how easy it sometimes feels

to leave you...dust in my attic

Our love stored amoung the boxes

said to be opened

but never opened again

subconsiously intentional

irrationally vulnerable

So I make it the safe voice

half-hating you just in case

this is some sort of protection

half weak in my knees

short of breath...madly in love

with you

and the thought of staying in your arms

...forever

*Prayer for Us*

God, don't let them shut you out

Don't let us shut you out...God

Would you pray for me?

Because I'm too tired to pray for myself

Would you speak for me?

Because all I've become

is a weak wrist fighting with ink

...against paper

fighting my thoughts with words

Hiding the truth between lines

...behind metephors and crooked syllables

Saying I need something else to fill this cup

God...

....................................

*Stare*

I'm your friendly decoy

shocking just so you can step

...one step off to the right

and fall into the trap of ignorance

i'm your lack of action taken

repressed memories in a noisy island inside your head

But it's quiet tonight

so you stand confused at the site

of just another pretty face

resting on a machine

of just another lovely half-starved mechanical stem

of a not so ordinary exotic flower

....................................

*On My Own...In My Own*

Whispered thoughts, cluttered

refusing to crawl out

out of a dark, covered in light

shadowed with something undefined

tunnel, plummeting to a place

where I refuse to care

to the point where I crack

and anger spills out of my lips

out of my eyes, through my teeth

There's so much more inside

Now intimate thoughts only lie in my own

spraying you off with my

cold shower of determination

to get out...get going...get gone

Yet I worry for you

I'm on my own, in my own

I am away

And I stop because

I don't know where to start

I thought it began

but maybe it hasn't

and maybe it's ended...before it began

And maybe I don't want to

question your quesstioning significance

...or insignificance

I know you're too drunk

to comprehend anything

And you will not know

because I can not show

what is so tired and trapped away

....................................

*K-hole*

Got stuck in a K-hole yesterday

...forced to see myself through God's eyes

...through Satan's

...through the little ant...on the floor

Got paralized

...for a minute or two

seemed more like a day...

I am still fighting

to speak in different tones...again

But my words all come out

...monotone

I got stuck and I thought I knew

all God's secrets

Maybe I knew all my own

Everything was made to look

so impersonal

Even me...in my own shoes

So what's the truth?

Which world's the world for me?

What's the story...to believe?

....................................

*The Bad Times*

He tells me what I want to hear

but I don't wanna hear it

...anymore

Gimme some sort of temporary relief

something to bring me...sanity

Cuz all I can do is numb this

I can't make it ...go away

Nothing lasts forever

...except the end

And nothing keeps me company

...unless I stay

But I can't stayi forever

because soon they will see

I'm not a saint

I'm not blessed

I'm just a burdan...something sad

And I can't breath

knowing...

I only weight this world down

....................................

*God's Prayer*

I don't want to resort in shallowness

Because I found something

said I found something bright

inside of meone night

despite what was really going on

what's really going on here?

Without a tear, I accepted

the sweet burden of being lost

and being tossed

into a deep ocean

of unfamiliar faces adn demons

wearing masks of friends

I sat on that bowl of sewage

and wrote what I thought was

just something I would not lose

Could not lose...my inner peace

A piece of me

And I found that it was God

praying to me

And God said:

REmember me

for I come from within

Hold on to me

and cherish what we know

Through all of this

you still have me

I am your Lord

....................................

*Lost Cause*