Famous Quotes from Not-So-Famous People

Well, my pals may not be all famous and stuff like...like...that one guy, you know, on the TV I don't watch, lol?? But, that doesn't mean that when they say things they're not using just as fancy-schmancy words as the big guys. Well, most of the time, but...well, just take a gander. You'll see.

No need to fear death, according to my best pal...

"Live fast, die young, leave a good looking corspe, and if you get laid in between--halleluja! You won't go to heaven a virgin."

There's no use romancing some gals, of course. No, not because they don't like romance, it's because a different kind of love is what they're looking for. Don't understand? You will.

"You just give me a house--bare wall decor, wood crate furniture--the bad @$$ truck o' my dreams, a full fledged Desert Eagle, and a bouquet of bullets to fill that sweet baby, and I will luv you 'til the day I die!"

Do you ever remember hearing that famous saying, you know, the one about the wise man shutting the f*** up?? Well, maybe it's not in those exact words...then again, neither is this:

"...as I keep talking I get more and more up the bull's anusload of shit, so I'm gonna stop while my feet are still sticking out his back end."

Some people need warning labels and a full instruction manual, like this young man which I know only as "Freak."

"When I smile like this...? :D ...It means I'm dangerous."

Someone "harshing your buzz?" Let them know, true style!

Stop breaking my magical fairy bubble of happiness!

What do you need for your get up n' go in the morning? Common responses range from coffee, to reading the newspaper, to...well...this.

"Okay, a lil coffee, lil sugar, a lil touchy-feely/hanky-panky/freshly morning f***--I'm good to go!"

The best closing statements are always said in the simplest ways... Well...okay, at least this one was said in simple terms!

"Okay. I die. You win. Congrats!"

Of course, other closing statements are only to be screamed across a room to a retreating back, as this phrase is...

"Don't let the door hitCHA where the good lord splitCHA!"

My friends are also never in need of a good metaphor or similie. They had all that s*** down years ago! Try these out:

"...strange as a dog's f***ed up fantasy about a fire hydrant."
"...drunk as a monkey at Wendy's."
"...fancy as the southpaw end of a goat's titilated belly."

Then again, some people aren't so good at that whole metaphor thingy. These people find different ways to express their creativity, as thus:

"Put your hands up your @$$ and walk on your elbows, motherf***er!"

Well, I really don't know what situation this could be successfully used in... I do know it works for some people, apparently... *cough* BILLY BOB *cough* Whew, just getting over a bit of a cold there... :p >>((If this statement sounds morbid and cruel to kittens, click onward to find out the joke behind it all))<<.

"Okay, now you know what? A kitten's gonna die!"

And who couldn't love one of my classmates' view on life? This guy's got it so together, he even has a rhyme scheme to his ways. Check it out.

"Do the deed...
...Leave the seed...
...Learn to speed!"

Once again...some people just aren't known for their tender subtlety. Dare I say more?? Naw! Figure it out on your own, lol.

"ok, what color is the tree leaves in the southern hemisphere?"


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