Girl to friend: "Brian promised to love me forever. Then he told me about a Star Trek episode where they scientifically prove the possibility that forever might actually last only a few days." ---Glasbergen

Son to father: "Everything about girls makes me really, really nervous. I flunked my algebra test because algebra has the word 'bra' in it!" ---Glasbergen

I was renewing my driver's license at the Department of Motor Vehicles and shaded the truth on the question about weight. Then I noticed a sign warning it was a crime to provide inaccurate information. "That's not my true weight," I admitted to the clerk. "That's okay," she said. "We pretty much expect everyone to write down their dating weight." --Candy Chand

There was a New York art collector who had a wonderful collection of paintings. One of them was "The Leaning Tower of Pisa." which he hung over his desk. For several days, he noticed that it hung crooked despite the fact that he straightened it every morning. Finally, he asked one of the housekeepers if she was responsible for the painting's lopsided position each morning. "Why yes," she responded. "I have to hang it crooked to make the tower straight."