Thought to be the Pauly Shore of dummies, Roy first found his love for politics on his 3rd day alive.  As he hung from the wood crafter's rack in the shop's street window, he watched in awe the spectacular display of fireworks that celebrated the 4th of July.
    Roy lead a tough life, being shifted from owner to owner, forced to act with amateur ventriloquists.  The same routine day in day out: 'Roy will now talk while I drink a glass of water,' 'my friend's nickname is chip,' 'how are you, dummy?'  But his heart was in the red, white, and blue; and most of all, what makes America 'AMERICA.'
    One day, Roy wound up on the streets when his find ventriloquist partner sold him to a bum for a bottle of liquor.  As he laid between a dumpster and the voter registration building, Roy knew what he had to do.  He picked himself up, dusted himself off, marched into the voter registration building and said 'I am no longer a dummy!  I am an individual with a voice that wants to be heard!'
    After several hours of sitting in an office located in the Federal Bureau of Foreign Affairs, Roy began to get nervous.  There was no existing record of him being a legal US resident.  Just when he thought all was lost and he should get up, in walked a savior from Hell.
    It just so happened that Omega Redd was also in the building, believed to have commited an act of fraud.  After waiting several hours himself, he got uneasy and started to make an escape from the iron grip of the government's facility.  He had so far been seccessful, but ducked into an office room to rest for a second.  The very same room that Roy was in.
    The two really hit it off at first.  Omega threatened Roy to keep his mouth shut or he'll kill him, and Roy complied because he really liked to live.  As they waited in silence, Omega started a light conversation that regarded why they were both there.  When Roy told him that he wasn't really a citizen of the United States and as punishment he may be multched back into wood chippings.
    Omega then thought for a minute and came up with a plan.  He set a typewriter on fire and dropped it out the office window.  I crashed on top of an innocent bystander killing him instantly.  Omega then ran into the hallway crying out that a man had just jumped out of the office window with a flaming typewriter.  Before doing so, he proclaimed that 'This is an act of god, that Omega Redd was to pay off any or all debts with my last paycheck, and that he didn't want any autopsys preformed on him after death, because he honestly and truely jumped out a window.  He wasn't just an innocent bystander.  The typewriter is proof.'
    With Omega (surprisingly) in the clear, it was time to help out dear ol' Roy.  He posed as Roy's partner in entertainment.  He demanded that Roy be granted full US residency since his father was a redwood and his mother was a maple tree.  Both were legal residents of the United States and were located in a nice, well-regulated National Forest Preserve.  They were both brutally cut down by the Federal Lumber Commission, leaving poor Roy father-less and mother-less.
    Omega then motioned that Roy should be granted compensation for his tramatic loss of family and friends.  He also pointed out that without proper funding from any adult figure in his life, he was denied any proper education.  He was also to be taught by Washington's best of scholars.
    The two would then go their separate ways.  Roy promised Omega that 'If you ever need my help someday, just let me know.'  Roy then became a registered democrat and found a passion for history.  He would like to express his thanks to Mr. Bill for all his help.
    After he made it to what he believed was the top, Roy went to pursue a political career.  When it never succeeded, he was about to give it up and retire at a young age.  Then came a phone call that would change his life.  It was Omega Redd, asking him to join his cause against the evil Smurfs.
    Hey, he promised.