Welcome, Intrepid Cyberspace Explorer!
You have stumbled onto Xydexx's Pronk Powered Webpage, now with a tiny kitten that speaks Russian. Will you be its comrade? We think you should.
This Tiny Kitten Approves
This adorable kitten will be your comrade! Our stock of hairballs has been depleted. No hairballs. NYET hairballs. Now all we have is the Unapproachable Service.
Xydexx's Old News Is New News
Much in the same way Kibo has an archived collection of his UseNet posts without all those other guys, Xydexx has a similar small collection of rantings from 1997, originally from Uncensored BBS. Uncensored BBS is a BBS in 914 where Xydexx used to post all sorts of weird things back in the day. Now Xydexx just posts weird things all over the internet, on pages like this one. As the saying goes, it's a big internet.
I Choose YOU, Pikachoo
Hooray for the internet, which is full of kinky things. It's an inflatable rubber pikachoo costume. Incredibly hawt and incredibly awesome. I wonder if they could make a Xydexx costume. I'd never leave the house!
Then And Now Before Now Becomes Then
I mentioned in a recent LiveJournal entry about the new strip mall that's being built at the corner of Sycolin Road and Battlefield Parkway. There's another residential/commercial development nearby called Oaklawn, which is planned to have ten restaurants, thus expanding our dining choices. Right now, however, nothing's been built except for the streets that will run through it. I'm thinking on one of my next bike trips I should take pictures of all the intersections there, so when everything's built I'll have some interesting "Then and Now" pictures.
Important Research
- Xydexx Directory of Things — Currently doing research on Mohansic State Hospital and what became of it. Also contains the Mission Statement of the Damned and Xydexx's ever-increasing army of robot ponies.
- Xydexx Institute of Squeaks — It's still mean to hide a kitten in a puppy's butt, contrary to what folks on the internet tell you. Consolidated Moosilidge makes its presence known by providing funding to renovate the Boringville Clock Tower. Xydexx wants to play 1000 white cards.
- Consolidated Moosilidge — This is the industrial workhorse which is bringing us closer to horse-powered victory by making Bambi say FUGL and other nasty-sounding words. Poor Bambi. Poor, poor Bambi...
Expecting What?
Xydexx has an infinite capacity for whimsy and humor. He still gets in trouble for such crimes as unnecessary smiling and offensive cuteness, but nevertheless prefers to stick to the shiny side of the internet. That's where the weird (and therefore, cool) stuff is, after all.
Xydexx will always be the most squeakable pony in the universe because It's The Law. Ask any policeman.
Early History
Xydexx was originally a mascot for the Matteawan Rubber Company in 1940. When the factory closed in the late 1960s, he worked in such obscure animated films as Mr Squeakypony meets Herr Pin. Eventually, Xydexx was forced to sell his sense of humor for some magic beans. No one knows what the beans do, but the leading theory is they make more ponies. As Xydexx has discovered, ponies are interlocking and stackable, and this will eventually become a source of infinite ponies. All the available space in the world will be filled with ponies, and that isn't a bad idea at all. Everyone loves squeakable inflatable purple ponies, especially if they're of the unicorn variety.
You Want Maybe A COOKIE?
Xydexx has a bad habit of procrastinating, and there is always a considerable backlog of More Important Things To Do. There is still a lot of Important Research that needs to be done. Xydexx has temporarily delayed working on a new volume entitled Xydexx's Unabridged North American Guide To Humpcatting, which will scare everyone. Instead, Xydexx has been baking cookies. You can view his recipes for oatmeal cinnamon raisin cookies here and here. A recipe for Swedish Butter Cookies has not been attempted yet, because Xydexx hasn't finished eating all the cookies he's already made.
Xydexx Is Agog
Agog means eager or highly excited. It's one of those words that sounds hilarious, like Schnopps or Bnreakfast.
Weird Sponsored Ad Du Jour
Will someone please explain why a sponsored ad for LAS VEGAS KITTEN MANICURE appeared at the bottom of this page? Do people seriously spend money on that sort of thing? I mean, yeah, I'm one to talk, because I spend $350 on a giant inflatable dragon and stuff, but at least that's USEFUL. Do kittens really need MANICURES? They don't even have hands! They have paws! PAWS! This is a lot of silly nonsense, and I'm in a position to know silly nonsense when I see it.
Last Updated
This webpage was updated March 14, 2009 (Pi Day) in compliance with the Department of Cute and Weird's policies on yak worshipping, as part of the Lohengrin Project. The Las Vegas Kitten Manicure ad doesn't appear at the bottom of this page anymore last time I checked, but it could probably re-appear at any time. We at the Department of Cute and Weird thank you for your continued support of making the internet a shinier and squeakier place. Don't forget to visit Xydexx's Amazon Profile.