You know Jean-Claude, Nicolaus, Seraphina and Xavier
Colin and Barnabas, and Robert and Valentine
But do you recall
The loneliest Vampire of all?

Asher, the golden vampire
Had a very scarred up face
Had an experience with holy water
in another time and place

All of the other vampires
turned from him in deep disgust
they never let poor Asher
slake his unending blood lust

Then one foggy October night
underneath a rare blue moon
Anita bared her arm for him
and he drank while she swooned

Now all the other vampires
Except JC and Asher are dead
Anita took care of business
Staked and burned and took their heads

Asher truly loves Anita
But she's got too much on her plate
JC, Richard and Micah
With no time even for a date.