Disclaimer: Ok I know I'm sick and this is totally pitiful but I had to get it out of my head. See what you people have reduced me to? LOL Anyway here goes and I hope you enjoy it.....IF YOU FIND SPELLING ERRORS PLEASE FORGIVE ME! This is sung to Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer. BTW, Arturo is a character owned solely by Laurell K Hamilton and company.

Arturo the well hung vampire
Had a very big ol' schlong
And if you ever saw it
You would say it's really long

All of the female minions
Used to point and coo and smile
They wanted old Arturo
In bed with them for awhile

Then one night he met his match
In a Master named Belle Morte
She could take everything he had
And still have room for more

Now no female will touch him
They all run and shout in fear
Arturo the big dicked vampire
Get that thing away from here!!!!!!