I gradually became aware. The first sensation was touch. I was warm 
and comfy in a bed with brushed cotton sheets. Then I noticed I could
feel them because I was lying amongst them in the nude. I sighed 
contentedly, but when I tried to stretch, I found myself restrained. 
There was a heavy weight by my side, one wrapped securely around my 
chest just under my bosoms, one slid under the pillow at about the 
level of my neck to cradle me from the other side, and one pinning 
one of my legs. It was a body. The skin was cool against my warm 
temperature.  That woke me up. For the first time in my life, I was 
waking up radiating warmth…no cold toes, or nose, or ears from where 
the night air nipped at me. 

That’s when my sense of smell kicked in as I took a deep breath to 
shake off the tentacles of sleep. The bed linens smelled wonderfully 
fresh and clean. The silky hair that caressed my cheek smelled of 
fragrant shampoo. The body by my side gave off many fascinating, 
intricate smells which were totally mind boggling to try and dissect. 
It smelled of age, but not like something you’d find in a nursing 
home. It was an age more like you’d encounter in an antique book shop 
or an old library. Musty sweet yet comforting. There were other 
scents too, but the one that caught my attention was a familiar one 
and I knew who was beside me then. French cologne. Soft. Subtle. Not 
arrogant like Jean-Claude’s, but no less confident, elegant, or 
dignified and with only a modicum less daring. My beloved Asher. I smiled 
and rolled slightly in his arms to bury my nose in his hair. I wanted 
to totally ensconce myself in the elaborate design of smells that 
made up his individual "scent". I don’t think it even dawned on me 
until later the fact I was even distinguishing the differences. My 
reward was a tighter, more possessive squeeze clasping my body. 

Sound came next with blaring clarity. There was the diminutive rustle 
of the covers as they moved in time to our breathing. My breath
struggled slightly against the weight of Asher’s arm pressed against 
my rib cage. His was precise and even with the barest hint of a 
whistle as it passed between his fangs and over his lips. But there 
was no heartbeat coming from his chest. The absence of it screamed in 
eerie silent contrast to my own’s lonely percussion. There were other 
sounds that caught my attention as well. What was once a faint, 
rhythmic tick from the clock on the nightstand was now the prominent 
scratch of grinding gears resounding each second’s existence. Under 
that was a dim rubbing sound like you might get if you rubbed the 
skin of your fingers together, but it was jaunted and uneven. I 
couldn’t place where it was coming from. There were muted voices as 
if being spoken through walls, but the lilt and brash accents being 
traded back and forth let me know Jean-Claude and Anita were up and 
about somewhere. Aah. We were at the Circus of the Damned. 

The length of Asher’s nose came to caress the side of my cheek even 
as he spoke, "I know you are awake, ma chanteuse. Won’t you
open your beautiful eyes for me?" he coaxed a moan of contented 
reluctance from me. Finally I swiveled my head upward and opened my
eyes to meet those of my love, warm and tender staring back at me. I 
couldn’t help but smile. His whole stance was serene, so much so
that he positively glowed. I slid my hands along the magnificence of 
his chest and marveled at each nuance that jumped out at me. I’d
performed this same lover’s caress a hundred times, but just now it 
took on a whole new life as I was able to distinguish slight 
differences in texture more vividly. "How do you feel?" he asked 
gently, searching my eyes for any hint of distress. The idea was 
endearing and I thought I would burst from how deliriously happy I 
felt. "Wonderful." I answered truthfully. "Extraordinary. I can 
breathe. I can hear. I feel more alive than I’ve felt in my entire 
life." 

"What do you remember?" he persuaded, continuing to inspect my 
reactions to the minuscule detail. The question seemed strange at 
first, but then my memories flooded back and I understood what he 
wanted. “I remember being attacked. I remember Christine had me in 
her jaws and she didn’t want to let me go. She wanted me to hurt, but 
I don’t know why? I remember…..dying," my voice drifted off into a 
whisper.  As if instinct took over, Asher held me to him even 
tighter. His leg slipped between mine causing me to moan and close my 
eyes briefly. He felt so incredibly good, I was almost breathless 
just from the sensation of his movements. He lifted his arm from my 
chest and lightly traced my facial features and if he would emboss 
them indelibly onto his soul. I raised a hand mimicking his 
movements, allowing my fingers to tangle in his glorious golden 
locks. "I remember you were there." I said quietly, capturing his 
gaze once more. "I remember you were in pain…your raw agony washed 
over me…you were so unhappy, my heart broke."

He moved to tuck his chin and hide in his hair as was his habit when 
he was feeling insecure. I brushed it away wanting him to see me. 
There were tears brimming in my eyes that matched his. That beautiful 
arctic sky blue gaze that I adored so much pierced me now with a 
desperate need. "Why did you come back?" he whispered brokenly. Oh 
God, how could he still ask me that? How could he not know? I lifted 
my hand around to the back of his neck and pulled him down into the 
most gentle of kisses before pressing his cool forehead against my 
own.  Then I looked deep into his gaze, wanting him to see the truth 
from the depths of my heart. "He asked me if I wanted to stay in 
paradise or go back. Even the little bit I experienced…I can’t 
describe it…it was breathtaking…a huge weight lifted." I put my other 
hand to his cheek, cradling him in my hands. "But I heard you. I felt 
you….and I asked him what would happen to you. Would you find your 
way home? He said if I wasn’t there, that he would send another to be 
your guide…and hopefully you would."

Asher’s brows furrowed, but he stayed quiet waiting for me to 
continue, "I told him that I would like nothing more than to stay 
with him in paradise forever…but that I loved you too. I told him I 
wanted to be the one there for you…to show you love…to hopefully be 
your guide home…and he said I could if that is what I wished." 
Asher’s steadfast countenance crumbled at that very moment and he 
crushed me to him with immortal strength, devouring me in a tirade of 
kisses. We wept with the merciful joy of it. "I thought I was beyond 
hope, but he knew my name…..he knew my name" Asher cried. I 
nodded, "Yes, he does love….yes he does." We laughed and cried and 
exulted in each other's arms for a while. I wouldn’t have missed this 
moment for the world. 

"So, you’ve come back to try and change me? Is that it?" he 
teased. "No, strangely enough. You’re gonna laugh…but it seems I must
continue to change myself." He groaned audibly which made me 
giggle, "More? Isn’t being a were-tiger enough?" he whined. I rolled 
us until I was on top, grinning down at him. "Actually its my inner 
self I’ve been charged to start changing…for the better. So I can be 
a good guide." He in turn rolled us again until HE was on top. I 
could get VERY used to these dominance games…especially now I had a 
chance to win every so often. "Amante, you are one of the most 
beautiful angels ever to grace my pitiful existence." I chuckled, sliding 
my skin along his enticingly. "Flatterer." I accused with a tease. 
Then I became fascinated with my new "senses" once more…experiencing 
the feel of his skin, his breath, his presence. ‘Everything is so new…
so different." I was in awe. He smiled down at me then, his pleasure 
evident on his face. "I know. I can sense your discoveries as you 
experience them." I looked back into his eyes and knew it was 
true. “Ok, so if you can hear everything I hear, then what the heck 
is that little rubbing sound?  I can’t place it.” My nose scrunched 
on my face as I surveyed the room once again.  Asher mused, and then 
after listening a moment, he pointed up to a dark corner of the 
room.  “There a little spider of there weaving a web.”  I went slack-
jawed staring at the corner until I could make out the tiny body of a 
spider.  “I’m listening to a spider weave a web?  I didn’t know they 
made noise.”  Asher snuggled closer, but I could tell he needed to 
feed soon.  His body trembled slightly with effort.  I bit my 
lip, "Flesh of my flesh…blood of my blood….sounds like "a man shall 
cleave…and the two shall become one flesh." 

It was suddenly a serious conversation and I was nervous that he’d 
take it the wrong way. Instead, he chuckled, "Non, cherie…this lasts 
longer." I raised my eyebrows, "You think so?" He nuzzled my cheek 
and stole another kiss, "I know so." He answered huskily. He devoured 
me and I desolved into his embrace. "Je t’aime" I whispered, "I want 
to consummate our union, mon amour." He started to move away, "Very 
well.  Let me go and feed. I will return to you shortly, chat." 
Before he could get too far though, I wrapped my legs around his 
waist in a death grip that caused him to groan. "Where are you 
going?" I pouted. He relaxed again, his weight exquisitely pressed 
against me. His fingers caressed my face, "Non, chanteuse. It is too 
soon. You are still weak." He protested. "Asher," I said quietly and 
looked at him. I think he knew he wasn’t going to win this one. I had 
the feeling he didn’t really want to try that hard either.

"That is what I meant by consummate, my love. One of the reasons I 
did this was so that you would never have to seek sustenance from
anyone else ever again. I wish to be the life that flows through your 
veins. I want it to be my blood that makes us one when you make love 
to me." He searched my face anxiously, capturing my gaze until I 
found myself drowning willingly in ice blue depths of bliss. "How can 
I refuse you, ma amoureux?" His eyes bled over until he looked like a 
wizard. I suddenly became aware of another "presence" deep within 
myself.  Large. I