Of the four of us in the back of the limo, Kimmy was the only one 
who seemed to be in a good mood.  She was actually excited about the 
prospect of being Pomme de Sang for Jean-Claude's ardeur.  I was 
still a bit apprehensive about *that*.  I'd quizzed Asher about it as 
much as he would let me.  The one thing I'd learned that had me the 
most worried was that it tended to be addictive for both parties 
involved.  I didn't look forward to Kimmy suffering withdrawal when 
we returned to Orlando.

Tim sat huddled over and looked perfectly miserable and sullen.  
I'd talked Kimmy into letting him wear street clothes and a stocking 
cap to cover his pink permed hair...at least until we got to St. 
Louis.  I could sense how worried Asher was.  We needed to get 
through airport security as smoothly as possible, and that would've 
been impossible to do in the company of a pink-haired young man in 
some god-awful costume.

Asher was off in some world of his own, not really paying much 
attention to what was going on around him.  I'd never seen him like 
that and it REALLY had me worried.  I wondered if the link between 
him and Jean-Claude went deeper than just friends and former lovers.  
Or was he just really worried about Anita's prospects for recovery?  
He was shielding from me.   I didn't like it, but I respected his 
privacy.
      
Yet another thing eating at me was having to leave Derik behind. 
Especially after he'd reminded me that it was Valentine's Day.  True, 
we'd had quite a time together earlier today, after our arguement.  
But I felt like shit for having forgotten the day.  To make the guilt 
worse, Derik had given me a combination Birthday and Valentine's gift
as I was packing to leave with Asher (I had turned 36 just a week 
before).  It was a silver  bracelet set with marcasites and my 
birthstone, amethyst.
      
My feelings of guilt were sort of an ironic role reversal.  
Usually, it was Derik going around feeling guilty for stuff beyond 
his control.  He'd also been surprised when I told him of Asher's 
offer to bring him along.  And he was impressed that Ash had set 
lawyers to work to get his probation reduced.  I don't think he'd 
believed that Asher wasn't going to try to split us up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      
Airport security wasn't as bad for us as for most of the other 
people there.  Of course, it helped that ours was a private flight on 
our own plane instead of a commercial flight.  Once we were past the 
security checks and had filed the flight plan, we were given 
clearance to taxi out to our place in line for take off.
      
As the plane began its ascent, I heard a whimper from Tim.  He 
was huddled in his seat with is eyes scrunched shut as tight as he 
could get them and was gripping the arms of the chair tight enough to 
bend the metal slightly.  I guess his fear of heights carried over 
into a fear of flying.  I noticed that Kimmy had a rather fixed 
expression on her face as well.  "Kimmy?  You okay?" I asked.  She 
just shook her head, her eyes showing a bit too much white.  She also 
had a death grip on her chair.  "I know you hate flying," I smiled, 
trying to get her to relax a bit.  Personally, I LOVED to fly.  But  
this was *my* first time in a plane since I was 13.  

"I just *know* we're going to crash into the ocean and get eaten by 
sharks," she quipped, trying to give a little bravado.  I giggled at 
that.  "We won't be flying over the Gulf," I assured her.  "Our 
flight path stays over land the whole trip."  Then I had a thought. 
"Once we level out, if you two want to move back to the other 
passenger cabin...it doesn't have any windows," I offered.  Kimmy 
nodded.  "Tim, that all right with you?" I asked.  He just whimpered 
again.  For an alpha bear, he was such a *baby* about certain things.
Kimmy, who seemed all right once the plane finished its ascent, 
ended up having to guide him like a blind man to the other cabin.  I 
heard her mumbling something about did Tim know just how high 
cruising altitude was and how long you would fall if you jumped out 
of the plane.  The sound he let out was just plain piteous.  I told 
her to stop teasing him.  She just pouted at me.  
      
I stayed in the forward cabin with Asher.  It was somewhere around 
midnight, so it was safe for him to remain in his window seat.  He 
was still shielding from me, barely seeming aware that I was even 
there.  Suddenly a look of pure horror crossed his face and he drew 
in a quick hiss of breath.  His whole body tensed, then just as 
quickly, sagged in his seat.  "Asher!" I cried, kneeling in front of 
him and grasping his hands.  He opened his eyes and looked at me with 
an expression of mixed relief and sorrow with what looked to be a 
touch of chagrin. His shields were still up, but not quite as 
strongly as before.  It was as if he were lowering them slowly, like 
he was afraid to let something out.
      
He slipped one hand from under mine and cupped my face with it.  
"I am alright, ma rose d'acier.  Do not look so alarmed," he tried to 
sooth me.  "Bullshit," I stated.  "You're hands are like ice and you 
look like you just saw some horror beyond description."  "It was 
merely a waking dream and an unwanted memory, cherie," he told 
me.  "I am only cold because I have not fed yet tonight."  "I know 
you've been worried, but neglecting your needs won't help anyone, 
Asher.  There are three of us here that can feed you," I said. 
Actually there were five, but I wasn't about to count the pilots as 
being on the menu.
      
"I will not touch Kimberly, she is for Jean-Claude, not for me," 
I didn't like how he worded that, but I let it go.  "As for Tim, 
although I have enjoyed men from time to time, I don't do...pink."  I 
snickered at the way he curled his lip when he said that...like 
someone had suggested he eat a bug.  "Well, then, I guess that leaves 
me," I said.  "Oui," he smiled.  But he didn't move to feed. Instead, 
he turned his other hand over and grasped the hand I had laid on top 
of it.  "This is new,"  He remarked, looking at my bracelet.  "It is 
quite lovely, too.  Amethyst has always been one of my favorite 
stones."
      
"It's my birthstone.  Derik gave me that today before we left.  
It's a Birthday and Valentine's present,"  I told him.  "Forgive me, 
cherie.  I have been so preoccupied with this crisis that I forgot to 
give you your Valentine's gift," Asher said.  He was rubbing 
small circles with his thumb on the hand he was holding.  His other 
hand was absently massaging my scalp just behind my ear.  It was both 
distracting and relaxing and made me wish for the umpteenth time that 
I could purr.  He gave a low chuckle as he noticed my half-closed 
eyes and blissed out expression.  He leaned forward and kissed me 
gently.  Then standing and still holding my hand, he whispered, "Come 
with me, Tamara.  I wish to show you something."
      
I followed him back through the windowless passenger cabin and 
into the cargo compartment.  I barely took notice of Kimmy or Tim as 
we passed them.  Asher's travel coffin was secured to the bulkhead by 
cargo netting.  I thought briefly that the cargo hold seemed awfully 
small.  I *knew* the plane was longer than that.  Asher led me 
through another hatch at the back of the cargo hold.  The entire tail 
section of the plane had been transformed into an opulent bedroom.  I 
noticed that the furniture was discreetly bolted to the deck.  The 
room was done in rich shades of gold and brown.  The bed was a four-
poster surrounded by sweeping draperies of sheer gold cloth.
      
"Wow," was all I could manage.  I let Asher lead me towards the bed.  
We stopped beside it and he nuzzled my hair.  The action raised 
goosebumps on my arms.  He began unfastening my clothes.  "Won't they 
hear?" I asked.  "Non, the room is soundproofed," he whispered right 
by my ear.  Then he gave a rueful laugh.  "There will be nothing to 
hear at any rate.  I can do nothing until I have fed, and you will 
need to rest after I've fed before you can do anything."  "Then why 
are you removing my clothes?" I asked, slightly disappointed. It was 
not fair of him to tease me like this.  "You wouldn't want to wrinkle 
your clothes, now would you?" he chided playfully.  "I *guess* not," 
I replied sullenly.
      
"Oh, ho, cherie, you are lovely when you pout," he laughed, 
sending shivers down my now bare back.  He'd even removed my 
underwear.  Like there was any worry of wrinkling *that*.  He gently 
lifted me and laid me on the bed, then walked around to the other 
side to climb in himself.  He hadn't removed any of *his* clothes.  
He stretched next to me, propped on one elbow and leaned over to kiss 
me again.  "This will work better if you lay on your side facing away 
from me, Tamara," he told me, his voice trailing down my skin like 
crushed velvet. I complied with his request.  

He danced his fingers down my arm and side, feather light, stopping 
at my upper thigh and kneading it softly.  With his other hand, he 
swept my hair away from the side of my face and neck, lifting it up 
to lay across my pillow.  I let out a sound somewhere between a moan 
and a sigh as my body began to relax under his touch.  This method 
was almost as effective as rolling, without being quite so invasive.  
I shivered slightly as he licked a line up my spine all the way 
from the top of my buttocks to the nape of my neck. I felt his breath 
on my neck as his hand moved up to cup and massage my breast.  I was 
so relaxed that I barely felt it when he bit down.
      
My back arched slightly, and my legs stretched out and stiffened 
as the orgasm built slowly to a glorious golden crescendo.  Asher 
pulled back from my throat and nibbled gently at my ear.  I felt 
light-headed and remote from myself, riding a wave of 
euphoria.  "Rest now, ma rose d'acier," Asher said softly.  "I will 
keep you safe.  Thank you for your gift."  I drifted into a slumber 
with a slight smile on my face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      
I dreamed.  I felt warm...protected...content.  There was a presence 
at my back.  I opened my eyes and saw Asher laying on his side in 
front of me, merely watching.  I understood that he was only an 
observer in this dream, not a participant.  The presence at my back 
was warm.  I felt a hand on my shoulder.  I craned my head back to 
see Derik there, only half awake.  He never spoke, neither did I.  
But I felt his love for me and mine for him.  We belonged together, 
neither complete without the other.  I cupped my hand over his and 
gave a small squeeze.  He smiled.  I felt utterly at peace.  
And loved beyond measure.  The dream faded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    
I woke under the covers, still nude, with Asher at my back, spooned 
against me.  He'd removed some of his own clothes, but not all.  I 
almost couldn't feel the scars against my back through his shirt.  I 
thought that the fabric must have been thicker than it looked.  His 
arm was draped over my side, holding my body to him.  "Forgive me, 
Tamara," he murmured into my hair.  "Forgive you for *what*?" I 
mumbled, still struggling to wake up.  What on earth was he talking 
about?
      
"For being so selfish and self-centered as to ever think I could 
or should woo you away from your husband," he whispered, his face 
still buried in my hair at the back of my head.  "I see now how it is 
with you both.  You truly do love him and he you.  I've never seen 
humans with emotional ties that close before.  He really is a part of 
you, isn't he?"  "Yes, he is," I answered softly.  "I love him 
dearly, Asher.  But I also love you.  And I feel guilty for that.  
It's not fair to either of you.  You both deserve someone who is 
constant, not torn.  You both deserve to have someone better than 
me.  When I'm with him, I think of you.  When I'm with you, I think 
of him."
      
Asher made an impatient click of his tongue. "*Why* do you 
torture yourself over this so, cherie?" he demanded.  "I have spoken 
with Derik on several occassions.  HE has no qualms about our 
respective relationships to you.  You are the only one who seems to 
be agonizing over it."  "I can't help it, Asher.  I find it hard to 
respect myself sometimes.  I made a vow to be faithful to one man, my 
husband, and now I find myself in love with someone else as well.  I 
can't give either one of you up.  I love you both.  I NEED you both.  
And I hate myself for that," I stated miserably.
      
"Oh, Tamara," Asher sighed.  "A friend once tried to explain to 
me about how American women think.  I admire your convictions and 
your desires to stick to them, but sometimes the ideal just doesn't 
work.  The only one holding you back from happiness is *you*, ma rose 
d'acier.  I'm not asking you to abandon all you hold sacred and 
right, merely to accept what IS and be happy with that.  No one is 
condemning you but yourself." 
      
"God, you make me sound like Richard!" I snorted.  "Okay, I'll 
try to accept this for what it is, without reservation."  "Bon," he 
said and kissed my ear.  "I do not like to see you unhappy."  "Me 
either."  The alarm signaling that we were about to make our approach 
to St. Louis flashed.  We both got dressed and rejoined Kimmy and Tim.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      
Kimmy had taken me at my word and waited until we were on the 
ground in St. Louis to make Tim put on the costume she had prepared.  
I was right...it WAS god-awful.  Cupid bear, in honor of Valentine's 
Day.  I was afraid to even begin to describe it.  A diaper, teeny 
little wings, a toy bow and arrow, and the appropriate hair 
accessories for the occassion.  Asher took one look and just walked 
off shaking his head.  "I will NOT wear this in public," Tim growled. 
I put on a sypathetic face and drew him to the side.  He'd given 
Kimmy nine kinds of hell just getting him into the ridiculous get-up.
      
"Tim, see that over there?" I directed him to the Arch in the 
distance.  "That's the Gateway to the West, the St. Louis Arch. It's 
several stories high."  "What has *that* got to do with anything?  
You trying to play tour guide or something?" he said surlily. "No," I 
stated patiently.  "What I'm doing is telling you that you get 
to be Kimmy's bodyguard while we're here."  "No way!" he 
protested.  "After she did THIS to me?  No fucking way!"
      
"Yes fucking way," I told him.  "Because, if you give her any 
trouble or ANYONE any trouble while we're visiting in Jean-Claude's 
territory...or if you allow any harm to befall her...I will park your 
sorry ass on the very top of that thing and LEAVE you there until 
we're ready to leave."  "But, but how would I keep from falling 
off?!" he stammered, knowing better than to doubt that I would do it.
"My suggestion would be to sit very still and pray the wind 
doesn't pick up," I threw over my shoulder at him as I walked back 
over to rejoin our group.