Paranormal/Conspiracy

SATAN SPOKE TO me.

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From: XThe UnknownX | Posted: 9/20/2002 10:46:02 PM | Message Detail

Last friday, I was busy playing a game when I heard a demeaning voice call out my name. I was freaked out, of course, since I was the only one at the house at the time. I went and followed the voice to my living room, and their I saw a demon. He said " THE WRATH OF THE HELLS SURROUND YOU" and I said, "WTF?". He told me he was Satan and he would give me $ 50K for my soul. Not believing in god, I did just that and then suddenly I woke up in my bed. I looked at the clock and saw that it was Saturday morning. I though I dozed off and had a bad dream , but when I went to get my underwear i SAW A WHOLE BUNCH of cash. I counted it all to $100K, along with a note saying " I decided to give you more money, Love Satan"

I was exastic. I went to brush my teeth and put my contacts in. Satan was on the pot and he said I could be his right hand man. He said I could rule Dante's Inferno. I asked him why and he said "BECAUSE THE WRATH OF THE HELLS SURROUND YOU".


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I think that a video called "girls gone stupid" should be made... It would show how stupid girls really act by showing how they act in the presence of "money".

From: Zzyzzyxx | Posted: 9/20/2002 11:03:34 PM | Message Detail

Tell me more

From: SFGarcia5Owens81 | Posted: 9/20/2002 11:05:21 PM | Message Detail

*predicts this topic starter will commit suicide within 5 days*
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GarciaOwens
Maximum Madden: [http://www.maximumnfl.com] Madden NFL (::PS2::) downloads, strategies, discussion, and more!

From: EntropyUncertain | Posted: 9/20/2002 11:16:00 PM | Message Detail

I'll buy one of those girls gone stupid videos.
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Society will benefit from my Genius

From: EntropyUncertain | Posted: 9/20/2002 11:16:43 PM | Message Detail

By the way how much money will satan pay for the soul of another person? (As in I bring him a victim)
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Society will benefit from my Genius

From: SenorWeasel | Posted: 9/20/2002 11:55:17 PM | Message Detail

Wait, can you get cash for selling the soul of some unlucky sap you've pummeled? Because if so, I've got three (and a half) in my wallet. 2 1/2 from friends, the other from some random chick I met at a bowling alley...
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He is asleep, though his mettle is surely there. He lived and when he lost his angel, died.
It happened calmly, on its own. The way night comes when day is done.

From: Monkey Mech X | Posted: 9/20/2002 11:56:00 PM | Message Detail

So that's where my walkie-talkie went...
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Owner and Member of the SJBDS <Super Jesus Break Dance Squad
Trisha is the nicest, hottest female poster on the Paranormal board! Hope you stay happy!-MMX

From: Myfestivus Two | Posted: 9/21/2002 12:16:18 AM | Message Detail

Leave. Now.

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*Why did the dinosaurs die?* -Because you touch yourself at night-

From: Blue JAva | Posted: 9/21/2002 1:13:40 AM | Message Detail

2 theories: either you were playing Eternal Darkness or you have been intoxicaated by a foriegn substance

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Great minds think alike, weak minds copy

From: Prax | Posted: 9/21/2002 3:29:15 AM | Message Detail

You must be lying.. but if you really are rich.. gimme some money. :)

Wait.. on second thought.. maybe dirty soul-money isn't such a good idea..
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We will always have our tomorrows--and even if we don't, well, we will always have our yesterdays. Now THAT'S optimism!

From: EntropyUncertain | Posted: 9/21/2002 3:31:11 AM | Message Detail

and I thought the famous "Leave. Now." would never come to this thread.
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Society will benefit from my Genius

From: AardRiven | Posted: 9/21/2002 5:51:19 AM | Message Detail

Dude, I hope you are joking. Otherwise seek serious help.

In case that Devil existed, it would be I that he would contact, not you.

That proves you lied. A-ha.

From: ElementSk8r | Posted: 9/21/2002 6:52:40 AM | Message Detail

TAKE MY SOUL! TAKE MY SOUL!!!!!!!! £100,000 should do the trick. As long as I don't die, I don't care. Enternal damnation is fine for me.
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"It is better to die on your feet, than to live on your knees."
www.kyushin-ryu.demon.co.uk/

From: SS1000000 Sephiroth | Posted: 9/21/2002 7:04:58 AM | Message Detail

LIAR!If the devil wanted a right-hand man,he would go for me.I'm MUCH more horrible and malicious then you'll ever be.
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Konnichi-wa,Baka-san.
This would be the worst time for me to have to fight a hippo.Those things are HUGE, and they've got these teeth.-Jhonen

From: Shalashaska40 | Posted: 9/21/2002 7:23:58 AM | Message Detail

I got visited by Satan aswell...
It was Wednesday September 11th and i was ready to go to bed.There was a knock at the door so i answered it and there He was,very big and mean looking. He put his face closer to mine and said ''Have you got Three Fidy?' and I said 'Dammit monster,I aint got Three fidy!!!' and i slammed the door shut. It turned out it was the Loch ness monster in disguise...
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We are the geordies.the geordie boot boys.We are mental!we are mad! We are the loyalist!football supporters.The world has ever had! -Us Geordies.

From: MistaWulf | Posted: 9/21/2002 8:17:32 AM | Message Detail

I got visited by Satan aswell...
It was Wednesday September 11th and i was ready to go to bed.There was a knock at the door so i answered it and there He was,very big and mean looking. He put his face closer to mine and said ''Have you got Three Fidy?' and I said 'Dammit monster,I aint got Three fidy!!!' and i slammed the door shut. It turned out it was the Loch ness monster in disguise...


Wierd!!! The same thing happened to me!
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Here's where I learned everything I need to know!!!!!! ;)
http://s2.cgi.gamefaqs.com/boards/gentopic.asp?board=2151

From: AFX | Posted: 9/21/2002 8:20:16 AM | Message Detail

damn that nessy is a trick'ster.
him and the Big-Foot i call him BG, we're TITE played this prank on me, when i opened a door a bucket of water dumped on me.
darn those 2 and their shananagins.
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"Ground Control To Major Thom" - Ziggy Stardust

From: Raging Programmer | Posted: 9/21/2002 8:49:23 AM | Message Detail

Hehe.

From: Black Pete | Posted: 9/21/2002 11:49:03 AM | Message Detail

" I decided to give you more money, Love Satan".
Priceless.
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I'm bored with my old sig and haven't thought of a new one yet.

From: Tad101 | Posted: 9/21/2002 2:02:41 PM | Message Detail

Is YOUR soul worth 50k?

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Tad
"If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes."

From: EntropyUncertain | Posted: 9/21/2002 2:04:55 PM | Message Detail

LIAR!If the devil wanted a right-hand man,he would go for me.I'm MUCH more horrible and malicious then you'll ever be.

That might be true but I am much more evil, and malicious than both of you combined. If Satan needed a right-hand man he would come to me(with a red lamborghini diablo, of course).

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Society will benefit from my Genius

From: Sage588 | Posted: 9/21/2002 3:12:23 PM | Message Detail

$100k isn't exactly rich. It is a hell of alot of money, but, mind you, not rich.
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If you have the right to voice your opinion, I have the right to ignore it.
A war against civilians isn't a war. It's a massacre.

From: street baller | Posted: 9/21/2002 3:16:00 PM | Message Detail

what were you smoking??
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"Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people."-Homer Simpson

From: NeoSamurai | Posted: 9/21/2002 3:50:47 PM | Message Detail

XThe UnknownX, your back?
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If I had my way, I'd have you all shot.

From: Dark Spider | Posted: 9/21/2002 4:29:10 PM | Message Detail

Man, my son came into the house and said to me "I need three fily".I said what for.He said "for my new friend!".His friend came in and said "I need three fily". and I said....
"Damn, you, monster, you leave ma boy alone!" and it was the loch ness monster.

From: Shalashaska40 | Posted: 9/21/2002 4:32:52 PM | Message Detail

THE SCOTTISH ONE STALKS US ALL!!!
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We are the geordies.the geordie boot boys.We are mental!we are mad! We are the loyalist!football supporters.The world has ever had! -Us Geordies.

From: SS1000000 Sephiroth | Posted: 9/21/2002 6:43:14 PM | Message Detail

Bah.I am the most horrrible and malicious being in all existance!Have you ever nailed someone to the ceiling,replaced his blood with acid and stretched his eyes out nailing them a few inches in front of his head and left him to die a horrible and painful death,all the while making them listen to hip-hop?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
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Konnichi-wa,Baka-san.
This would be the worst time for me to have to fight a hippo.Those things are HUGE, and they've got these teeth.-Jhonen

From: Dynasty Of Rebels | Posted: 9/21/2002 6:45:12 PM | Message Detail

So Um.... Anybody got a Three Fiddy?
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Help! Help! Theres A Man Peing In The Bush!- My Friend saying this when i was peeing behind a bush
Its like karate,but with the genitals! - Shinobi X 03

From: FailsafeX | Posted: 9/21/2002 7:04:53 PM | Message Detail

Watch out, or the demon hunter kid will get you.
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"When a man lies, he murders some part of the world..."-Metallica, To Live is to Die Board=5604

From: Jester89 | Posted: 9/21/2002 8:47:56 PM | Message Detail

1 Word:

E-X-O-R-C-I-S-I-M

Or:

S-U-I-C-I-D-E

From: Jester89 | Posted: 9/21/2002 8:50:33 PM | Message Detail

But before you take any of the advice above, (for it is a tad drastic) do this:

P-S-Y-C-H-I-A-T-R-I-C H-E-L-P

From: germanyboy | Posted: 9/21/2002 9:00:48 PM | Message Detail

Why do people post such pointless messages??? This board is supposed to be good, but with such stupid posts as this, im having second thoughts
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germanyboy

From: masterkungfu | Posted: 9/21/2002 9:38:02 PM | Message Detail

*holding a stick*

im a "peace" warrior, AND I'VE CAME TO SLAY THE DRAGON..erm, i mean, BAD EVIL PERSON(S)

who's the baddie again?

*holding a gun*
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75% of you are SO going to hell - HavocRPG
AOL,so easy to use,nowonder it sucks online

From: poisonfrog8 | Posted: 9/21/2002 9:40:11 PM | Message Detail

*pokes you with invisible sword*
And BTW Demons believe in God, you know...
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From: Jonalex | Posted: 9/25/2002 6:18:05 PM | Message Detail

Okay, whatever!!! Just tell my boss, hi. And ohhh, tell him if he's replacing without my consent then there's gonna be a lot of dead evil dudes laying around after I'm done.
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The Devil's Advocate.

From: Wang Long | Posted: 9/25/2002 6:51:07 PM | Message Detail

Dude, what interest would Hillary Clinton have in speaking to you?
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-Wang

From: Lt J G Pliskin | Posted: 9/25/2002 7:21:18 PM | Message Detail

I dunno what's worse, seeing you get up in the morning, or Satan taking a dump.
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"A stick is your friend. A pointed stick is your good friend.An army of pointed sticks is your best friend."