“Cut!!! That’s a wrap, folks, thanks!”Hades sat down in his chair and waited for the crew to leave. He shook his head slowly and sighed. Finally the filming was done, and he could have the Underworld back to its normal, dead state.
“Thanks again Hades for the use of your pad!” The director said, as he watched everyone pack up and move out. “Yeah, we didn’t expect them to make a Hercules 2 either, but at least it’s done, right? Well anyway, I’ll have my people call your people and we’ll do lunch sometime, ok?”
“Thanks, babe, but I don’t do lunch with mortals. Just don’t leave anything behind and we’ll meet again when the Fates cut your thread too. Now shoo. I have things to do here, people to torment, lives to keep account of, and most importantly this place needs a bit of redecorating.”
He led the director out the front and walked back to his seat.
“Oy! Why here? Because this is where people go to die.”
Pain and Panic ran up to Hades in a hurry, tripping over themselves along the way.
“Yes?” Hades looked at them with a less than thrilled expression.
“Uhhh, one of the folks in the special tank is wishing a word with you immediately.” Pain said, bowing and flattening his face against the floor.
“Yeah, and that’s her words not ours!” Panic chimed in, with his head already flattened beside Pain.
“Oh joy, the villain section. You know, it wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t try to plot ways to get out of here under my nose. Great. Which one is it this time? A new arrival?”
“The one with the pointy hat that looks like a goat.” Pain said as Hades started making his way over to the well of souls.
“Maleficent? I thought she scared you two away from that part of the tank!”
“Well she DID,” Panic said, right behind Pain, “but it was that hag who kept telling us about apples growing in the tank.”
“Yeah, and it was almost lunchtime!”
“Ok, ok, ok…zip it, both of you! Geez, I can’t get a moment’s rest around here…and this is supposed to be the deadest place below earth!”
Hades reached the tank and looked over the edge. Every Disney villain that had ever died had been sent here, and now he was dealing with the complaints. He had heard it all by now, from The Wicked Queen saying how she could have had Snow White if it wasn’t for those seven little men to Rourke swearing he could have been the richest, most famous man in history if he could just have been allowed to kill off the people of Atlantis. They all had begged him for their second chances at the heroes and heroines of the movies they were in.
“Well well well, it’s a small Underworld after all, huh? And the jokes don’t get ANY funnier or fresher from here on in, so deal with it.”
Pain and Panic snickered from the side of the tank, turned around, and groaned.
“Maleficent, sweetheart, babe, what’s the word?”
Maleficent’s soul rose up to be face to face with Hades and she sneered at Pain and Panic.
“Well, you see, it’s like this…I don’t believe there is enough evil in the world at the moment, and frankly, my talents are wasted in here…”
“Mine too!” A voice called out from the tank. “And mine!” Before long, a chorus of them cried out how useful they would be, and Maleficent turned up her nose at the tank.
“May I have a word with you in private without the riff raff around?”
“Riff raff?” Panic said, “I thought we were called minions?”
“Maybe it’s a new way to describe minions?” Pain shrugged.
“Yeah sure,” Hades said gesturing towards his war room, “Pain and Panic can stay here with the others. I don’t have any major mayhem plans at the moment.”
“Excellent.” Maleficent seemed to float along beside him, looking around at the surroundings.
“You’re a soul, there is no other way out but living…so quit assessing the situation like you’re going to leave.”
“I was only wondering why a powerful being such as yourself would bother with a situation like this. You are a god, yet you’re stuck here…”
“TEMPORARILY!” Hades turned slightly red, heating up a bit before retaining his calm. “I just have to devise a plan good enough to rule Mount Olympus first.”
“That’s where I believe you could use my help. And of course the help of a few of the others in that tank you call accommodations. You really need to start small, as I did.”
“You FAILED, did you forget that? You wouldn’t be here if you had succeeded, would you?”
“No I wouldn’t, but I worked alone. My only minion was my pet, and we can hardly call that a minion, now can we?”
“True…” Hades sat on his throne and mused, “so what are you thinking?”
“I have a list of villains we can use, based on their strengths and common sense, and I was thinking perhaps we get a little revenge on one or two heroes to see how well that works before you decide if you want to use this as a springboard for future endeavors like Mount Olympus.”
Hades looked at her with a smile and raised his eyebrow slightly in thought. “Go on.”
“We cannot use them all, it would result in chaos. Also, if we used too few the plan wouldn’t work; as you learned with Jafar. It was two against two. Those are unfair odds unless you know what you’re dealing with.”
Maleficent looked around. “Might I have a chair?”
Hades jolted slightly, waved his hand, and Maleficent sat on a chair adjacent to his own.
“It is things like that, you see. Magic is an ally, and some villains have it. Some have it but aren’t thinking clearly enough to use it properly. Their eyes are on the wrong prize. Some think too small, others too large.”
“Yeah yeah yeah,” Hades shook his head and waved his arms about, “I get your point. We use some, not all of them, and only need certain ones. Now who do we need and why?”
“I have spoken to them and the ones best suited for this are…” Maleficent stopped, noticing Hades was on the edge of his seat. “Tell me, are you willing to make us living beings for this?”
“What are you talking about? I’m hearing you out here first, then if it seems like something I think could happen, badda-boom! You’re as alive as you ever were.”
“That seems reasonable.”
“Hey, I’m the Lord of the Dead, I can do whatever I want to…within reason. Now for that list?”
“Dom Claude Frollo, the judge for beginners. He knows how to handle power, and I’ve already convinced him that now that he is dead, you can’t quite get more evil than this, and he has tossed aside the witchcraft claims as his aims are the same as ours.”
Hades smirked. “I wasn’t too sure he would be on the list, but seeing as you’re persuasive, I agree. Who else?”
“Jafar.”
Hades interrupted, “OH NO! Not that guy, he’s a real jerk! He came in here complaining about that Aladdin kid like he was an immortal or something, and he couldn’t even get rid of him with a second chance!”
“Hmmm, yes,” Maleficent’s lips curled into a hint of a smile, “I also recall a certain youth slipping from your on clutches multiple times as well.”
“Ok, are you saying that with Jafar on this team we’re forming we’ll be unstoppable?”
“He IS after all a magician with that snake staff. He has some rather impressive ideas of how to gain power, they only need to be combined with more brains to work, and that is where Frollo can help.”
“Alright, so far you have a god, a judge, and two magicians on this team. One more and we could practically be the Fab Five of evil! Who else have you sat down with and had interesting chats with?”
“That Sea Witch Ursula would do nicely as well. Granted, she is half fish and would need to change into a human form to be able to assist, but she has done that before and certainly could do it again.”
Hades ran his hand over his head and rubbed his neck. “Another magician.”
Maleficent relaxed in her chair and ran her fingers along its arms carelessly.
“Fine…she takes up too much space in the tank as it is.”
“Grand, now I’ll add a sixth to make it even.”
“Why not a seventh and make it lucky?”
Maleficent looked at him with a disapproving glare.
“I’m not patronizing you, I’m just curious.”
“Six sounds better when they try to make a movie of this later,” she chuckled lightly, “Or don’t you think when word leaks out that the dead villains are trying to accomplish something such as this that Eisner won’t immediately try to ruin it with a movie?”
“Hmmm, well that depends. Are we going to kill anybody?”
“Hopefully,” Maleficent answered matter-of-factly.
“Then Eisner won’t touch this with a 10 foot pole, but do go on.”
“Though I am not on quite good terms with him, I believe The Horned King would make a stunning completion to our group. He has suffered like the rest of us and has aspirations as great as yours.”
Hades looked a little puzzled. “You mean the guy obsessing over the pot? Yeah when he got here, he was the poster child for death warmed over alright.” He paused reflectively. “Ok, I see where you’re going with all this, and I agree. So that’s it then?”
Maleficent nodded.
“Well dearie, you got yourself a deal…on one condition.”
“A catch?” Maleficent said, slightly amused. “I hand deliver you the pick of the litter-so to speak-and you have a catch?”
“Hey, nothing comes free around here! I wasn’t born yesterday, you know…I am a GOD after all, so I have been around long enough to know where provisos are necessary.”
“Understood. Please proceed.”
Hades got up and began to pace back and forth slowly. Maleficent studied his every expression with intensity and curiosity.
“I’ll restore your lives for 6 days at a time to allow ample time for vengeance, and for each plan that succeeds, you have 6 more days added to the end of the time. If you fail, you get to come back here with the rest of the stiffs. If it’s not enough time, we regroup here and try again. Simple as that.”
Maleficent smirked, “Why not 7 and make it lucky?”
Hades jolted and laughed. “Now I know why you were the spokeswoman. No one else could be quite as ruthless as you…I’ve seen your movie.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment, thank you. Now shall we inform the others and begin?”
Hades motioned, “After you.”
Pain and Panic looked over the side of the tank.
“What do you think they died from?” Pain asked as he saw a soul float by.
“Well I heard that one got tossed off a castle cliff in a rainstorm.” Panic pointed. “And that one strangled himself. She fell to her death and was crushed by a rock. Wait…” Panic looked at Pain. “Haven’t you seen the DVDs?”
“I…I know,” Pain said, a little shy, “but I like hearing you tell me anyway.”
“Oh, well ok then. That one died of…”
“PAIN! PANIC!”
“You bellowed, Master?” Pain said, quickly toddling along beside Panic.
“Of course I bellowed, how else could I get you numbskulls to come?”
“I thought a nice beckoning from afar would be…”
“SILENCE!” Hades flamed up. “Now listen up boys, we’re going to be rather busy with mayhem and plotting, so I need you to keep an eye on the new arrivals and get me only in a strict emergency! Like if the Fates should show up unannounced again, or that idiot director beg for ‘just one more scene’ for his movie. Otherwise, deal with it yourselves. Think you can handle that?”
Pain and Panic nodded fervently.
“Good…now get to it!” Hades turned to Maleficent and smiled. “Would you like to, uh, do the honors or shall I?”
“By all means, it is your lair after all.”
“Alright, listen up dead ones, there’s a serious war to be fought and we’re going to need a few of you to help out.”
Clayton’s spirit rose up before Hades and posed. “Obviously you need my help as I am a master huntsman.”
“WAS, ok?” Hades turned to Maleficent, “These guys never get the picture that they died until it’s too late.”
“Fine, I was a master huntsman, and I still know how to track an ape, so I must be needed!”
Hades pushed Clayton’s spirit down before him, back into the tank. “Sorry bub, but you just aren’t what we’re looking for. Any man who gets tangled in vines and hangs himself with stupidity isn’t right for this job, so cool your jets.”
Jafar pushed his way to the top of the tank and looked at Hades with a raised eyebrow. “Dare I ask?”
Hades rolled his eyes and sighed heavily.
“Shall I take that as a no then? Very well.”
“Whoa whoa whoa there Jaffy babe! Did I say no? When did the word escape my mouth, huh? Of course we need you. You show potential! Heck, you even had a sequel made and a guest spot on my show, so absolutely you’re one of us.”
Hades pulled Jafar’s spirit out of the tank and set him down next to Maleficent. He turned back to the tank and shook his hands, muttering to himself.
“Now,” he said, looking back into the tank, “We’re also going to need Frollo, Ursula, and that Horned King.”
With that, he pointed at their souls and drew them out one by one. The others left behind began to make a fuss.
“Wait a minute!” Gaston said angrily, rising up to be head-to-head with Hades, “You realize I had a song all about me to show how wonderful I am, and you’re leaving me behind?”
“Well, yeah,” Hades looked at him carelessly, “I mean come on, you kept the Beast’s mirror just because you knew you could check yourself every 5 seconds. You already saw what HE looked like! You’re so full of yourself I’m surprised people aren’t complaining about the lack of space in there!”
“And I led a mob! I have great leadership qualities!”
“Gaston,” Hades looked him in the face, “you led a bunch of frightened villagers in a revolt against utensils. Mountain goats would have followed you! You stay behind.”
Hades pushed him back down and looked into the tank. “Anyone else want to contest why they aren’t in this? No? Excellent! We’ll be back at some point to either gloat or return your friends here to your warm and tender embraces. Ciao!”
Maleficent watched as Hades set some sort of covering over the tank and led them to his war room. He cleared off the table and invited them all to sit around it in chairs that fit the décor of the room.
“I’m sure Maleficent told you each why you’re out of that…”
“All I know,” Frollo interjected, “is that you are going to help us get back at those who have wronged us in the first place.”
“Yes,” Maleficent assured him, “this will happen in due time. Each of us will be allowed our revenge, not only against our enemies, but the enemies of our fellow villains who are yet alive and have not succeeded.”
“Hold it!” Hades stood up. “No one said anything about vengeance on other heroes besides our own!”
“Some villains will be helped, and some will not, but of course we six may pick and choose who deserves it and who does not, agreed?”
“Alright…” Hades sat back in his seat, “Why don’t you go on then, babe? You probably could explain it better than I could anyway.”
“Gladly,” she stood and looked around. “You each have been chosen for your skills and brainpower. We five are the best of the worst that have died, and Hades has the means to give us life again.”
“Although the Horned King over there never really looked alive to begin with.” Hades said, “But hey, I can only do so much to help.”
“As I was saying,” Maleficent turned back to the group, “Frollo, you are the only one who does not know magic…”
“Witchcraft.” Frollo corrected her; “I am a righteous man, so of course I do not know witchcraft!”
“I bet this was a real shocker to your system when you died, eh Frollo my boy?” Hades couldn’t help but mock him. “You being all righteous and holy like that night in front of the fireplace.”
“I WAS PRAYING!” Frollo jumped up from his seat, infuriated.
“Sure you were, buddy,” Hades winked, “sure you were. We all saw the DVD. Man was that some vision you had!”
“That gypsy wench must have cast some evil spell on me to make me see all that, I’m sure of it. She never denied being a witch.”
“Believe me, crab face, she’s no witch,” Ursula interjected, “I’ve seen that movie as many times as I’ve seen my own, and she’s only extremely flexible. Nothing more.”
“So why DO we need Frollo anyway,” Jafar asked, “if he doesn’t have any powers to speak of like we do?” He looked at Hades, and corrected himself. “Or rather, DID.”
Frollo looked about the room. “I am truly flattered, but I have to wonder the same thing myself.”
Maleficent just smiled.
“Frollo has a keen mind,” the Horned King finally spoke up, “anyone who can’t see that they brought him in because of his mind is blind.”
“Hey, that rhymed!” Hades leaned back in his chair and smiled broadly. “And so did mine!”
“ENOUGH FOOLISHNESS!” Maleficent bellowed at Hades.
“Oh dear,” Jafar leaned over and whispered to Ursula, “anyone have a marshmallow? I smell a heated argument.”
“Listen babe,” Hades stood up and grew more flames about him as he turned red, “this is MY house, and in MY house…I will do the VOICE RAISING around here! GOT IT?”
“This battle of supremacy is great and all,” Ursula said nonchalantly, “but can we get on with the plans to get revenge? I feel a little floaty.”
“You’re dead.” Frollo pointed out.
“That’s what I mean! I’d like that to be changed as soon as possible. The sooner the better.”
Hades grunted and calmed himself down before taking a deep breath and sitting back in his chair. Maleficent looked away, admitting a stalemate for the time being. The Horned King looked around at the others and then back to Hades.
“Who is first?” He asked, leaning onto the table before him.
They all looked at Maleficent, then to Hades. Jafar slowly stood up.
“Might I make a suggestion to see just how this will work?”
Hades looked at Maleficent, who in turn looked at Jafar. Maleficent nodded and sat down in her chair.
“Since the last time two villains got together to get rid of someone did not work, I suggest the 6 of us band together to test this unstoppable theory on the same hero. It seems a simple request, I think, and if it works we would at least have some sort of proof that our vengeance will be complete.”
“You’re suggesting we go after that Aladdin kid again, aren’t you?” Hades smugly said.
“Well, Hades, considering you as a god and me as a magician alone could not fight them, and we know that setting two heroes against themselves only turns them stronger to defeat us, I think it’s a good idea.”
“I agree.” Frollo interjected. “I saw that episode and although that building collapsing should have killed them both, I think it would be wise to see if we can defeat that scoundrel together. Our brains and witchcr--power combined seemingly could have little or no trouble in disposing of him.”
“Well then,” Hades said sitting up in his chair, “I guess for the first timers here we should discuss location, plan, and target. Don’t you agree, babe?”
Maleficent looked at Hades, “If memory serves, that is Agrabah, is it not?”
“Good call!”
Hades swept his hand over the table and immediately the city was in view. They stood up and looked down as Jafar began to explain the background to everyone.
“I was the Sultan’s Grand Vizier and most trusted advisor, so I know every crevice of that palace. The guards roam the streets on a daily basis…the ones not watching the palace that is. With the exception of Razoul, I don’t think any of them will be a problem. Aladdin has a weakness for Princess Jasmine, his monkey, the Genie, and the Sultan. Iago was my minion, but has since turned to being one of the street rat’s friends. He is agile, smart, and annoyingly quick witted. If we dispose of the Genie we have a better chance of taking over and doing away with the boy.”
“How can we get rid of the Genie,” Ursula questioned, “if he’s free but still has his powers?”
“Genie?” Hades looked at Jafar puzzled. “There was no Genie when we set out to destroy him before.”
“Animation error, I’m sure,” Jafar said, “he was there for a brief nanosecond when Aladdin told your minions not to take the lamp. I imprisoned him in a casing once that could not be escaped by magic, but Iago broke it. Should you like to use that method once more, this time it would be wise to put it in an unreachable location. Might I suggest the Cave of Wonders?”
“Hades, I believe this will be an easy task for us all.” Maleficent said, stepping away from the table.
“Oh, so you have a plan then!” Hades looked at her and crossed his arms. “Mind sharing with the rest of the class?”
Maleficent turned around and faced the group. “It’s rather simple, so I beg you to find whatever holes you might think a hero would see and bring them to light before we do this.”
They all nodded.
“Wonderful. Now Ursula would go in as a Sultana from a distant land offering to make peace with this Sultan so they would never be at war. Frollo would be her advisor, heavily cloaked however, so that no one would notice or recognize him. Jafar, you would go in through any secret entrance you think would be the least used and meet them inside at whatever sleeping quarters they would be given as visitors. Hades, the Horned King and I will wait here in case anything odd should happen.”
“And if something odd or wrong should happen?” Frollo pointed out. “Where would you be then?”
“A snap of my fingers and we’ll be there, duh!” Hades rolled his eyes.
“WELL WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SNAP YOUR FINGERS AND SET US INSIDE THEN IN THE FIRST PLACE?”
They all looked at Maleficent and Hades and crossed their arms in perfect synchronization.
“Do you want to be captured and killed by a surprise attack, or do you want to be the surprise that terrorizes them all?” Maleficent said, crossing her arms in reply.
“Go on,” Jafar said.
“Besides,” Hades threw in, “it would be better with reinforcements standing by outside the war zone, don’t you agree?”
“Yes yes,” Jafar said, “get on with it.”
“Once inside, Jafar will find and dispose of the Genie, while Frollo and Ursula help find a way to distract and be rid of the others. When we are certain all loose ends have been taken care of, we will all meet in Jafar’s old lair and do away with Aladdin.”
The Horned King looked around, “Does anyone else see the problem here, or is it just me?”
“There’s a problem?” Hades said.
“You’re sending in 2 of us against 4 of them. Wouldn’t they get suspicious if one by one they started to disappear? I think the odds should be more in our favor.”
“He’s right.” Ursula said. “He’s a little quiet, but he’s right. Though with my magic I can take them down single-handedly, the rest would begin to wonder what happened to the others. Frollo is better at delegating than capture, anyway.”
“Ok, ok, wait…” Hades walked over to Jafar and put his arm around him. “Jaffy babe, you know these people better than we do. You’ve worked with them, lived with them, and hey, you even conspired against them twice! What do you say we throw in another couple of villains to help with this Al kid’s soft spots?”
“I prefer that idea,” Jafar said, looking at Maleficent, “at least we won’t lose.”
“Alright,” Maleficent said, “are there any other areas we can lose in this situation or can we get started?”
“By all means, let’s start this baby up!” Hades snapped his fingers on both hands and each villain was restored to their living state. “Now remember the catch. This doesn’t have to be done in one day, but it does have to be done in 7. You screw up and I can’t help you.”
Maleficent flexed her hands and made her staff appear before walking over to Hades. “How about this one being the freebie for starters? You’re one of us, you know. We’ll be able to find a way to get what every villain wants one by one if this works, so you WILL be ruling Mount Olympus eventually. You just might want to help out a little.”
Jafar stretched his arms out and grasped his staff, laughing.
“Oy, not the laughing again!” Hades looked at Jafar. “You know, flourish or not, you can wait until this thing is over before whooping it up, ok?”
Ursula looked down at herself and got red with embarrassment. She changed her form into that of a human Sultana and smiled. “Not bad, if I do say so myself!”
The Horned King looked at himself then at Frollo, who was adjusting his cap.
“Witchcraft or not,” he said, admiring his arms, “I must admit it is indeed wonderful to be alive again.”
“Ok, look,” Hades said to Frollo, “you use that word once more, and I’m turning you into one of my minions and having THEM go in your place. I’m sure Panic would love to trade you places.”
“My apologies,” Frollo said tightlipped, “it’s just that when you have led a life one way for so many years, old habits are hard to break.”
“Alright,” Jafar said, growing impatient, “I believe a messenger should go ahead and inform the Sultan of his arriving guests, don’t you agree?”
“Allow me,” Hades said. “PAIN!!! PANIC!!!”
The rest looked at Hades with slightly confused expressions.
“Hey, trust me…sending messages as slaves is something they can do!”
Pain and Panic rushed in like two little guilty toddlers.
“I swear we never left our post!” Panic groveled.
“And whoever said we did is lying!” Pain added.
“Boys, I have a job for you. I want you to take this scroll to the palace in Agrabah,” he pulled a scroll from midair and handed it to Pain, “and tell the Sultan that you are not even a day ahead of your mistress. Think you got that?”
“Agrabah? Isn’t that where the kid and the monkey live?” Pain looked over the scroll.
“You want us to kidnap the monkey?” Panic pushed Pain to get a good look at the scroll too.
“NO!” Hades exploded. “Just deliver the message and come back here to watch over the place when we leave.”
“WE’RE NOT WORTHY! WE’RE NOT WORTHY! WE’RE NOT WORTHY!” They both chanted while bowing down before Hades.
“That’s it, I’m revoking your DVD privileges! No more Wayne’s World for you.” Hades leaned over, almost right in their faces. “Now go!”
As they scampered ahead, the others watched them go before turning back to Hades.
“What? Like any of your minions were any better?”
“As a matter of fact,” Ursula began, then noticed Hades glaring at her. “Well we can go into that after we kill this boy.” She paused and looked around. “We are going to KILL him, right?”
Hades smiled, “All in favor?”
They all grinned evilly.
“Unanimous vote, it’s time the hero got his due.”
Maleficent looked at the table and Hades waved his arm over it to show them how Pain and Panic were doing. They watched as the Sultan took the scroll, Aladdin looked it over and Jasmine thanked them for the news.
“A new Sultana to meet?” The Sultan said puzzled.
“Well, your majesty,” Aladdin pointed out, “Agrabah has grown in greatness and popularity since our journeys across the sands.”
“Yes father,” Jasmine said looking at the scroll, “Aladdin is right, and for a while now, we have been a peaceful city with no one wishing war with us.”
“I know, dearest, I know,” the Sultan said looking off into the desert sand, “and I like to keep it that way. Let’s go have a room prepared for our guests. They said she would be here soon.”
The villains watched as they all went inside the palace.
“I don’t like that Sultan,” Maleficent said, “He looks smarter than he appeared to be on film.”
“He is,” Jafar said with a frown, “I had to use my magic to keep him from suspecting anything, and now he uses his head much more. Whatever you do, don’t underestimate him.”
“I say we take him down first,” Frollo said to Ursula, “then that…daughter of his.”
Hades laughed, “And I bet you’re the man to take her down, right? Frollo you are about as transparent as a new soul, you dirty old man.”
Frollo scowled at him, “Should we leave the monkey to you?”
“Boys, boys,” Maleficent stepped between them, “Please! Let’s not quarrel. If all goes well, we could finish this before the sun comes up tomorrow.”
Hades held out his hand to Frollo. “Cheap shot, I won’t do it again before the day’s over.”
Frollo took his hand and shook it. “Fair enough. We need to work together anyway.”
Hades patted Frollo on the back, changing his outfit to match with Ursula’s Sultana clothing, and laughed. “Come on folks, it’s show time!”
Ursula and Frollo left with Jafar and the Horned King, Maleficent, and Hades watched the table with interest.
“Let me do the talking,” Ursula said as they rode through the streets of Agrabah on their horses. “I’ve dealt with a king before, and I know how to suck up.”
“Please do,” Frollo said, “I’m still getting accustomed to this get up I have to wear.”
“How hard is it when you’re used to wearing a dress?”
“It wasn’t a dress! It was a robe. A simple black judge’s robe.”
Ursula nodded, controlling her snickering. Frollo frowned and clung to the reigns a little tighter. Meanwhile, Hades and the others were in hysterics by the table.
“A dress, a robe,” Hades said, “WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?”
“I look better in it than he does.” Maleficent commented with a wide smile.
“Well, I must say, black is definitely your color, although you might want to rethink the horns. They look good on him, but he’s got a certain dead guy look going.” Hades looked Maleficent over. “Then again, you have a certain look going for you too.”
Ursula and Frollo drew the villain’s attention back to Agrabah as they came upon the gates to the palace. Razoul greeted them and shouted that the Sultana was there, and immediately the gates were opened.
“How is Jafar doing?” The Horned King asked.
Hades swept his hand over the table and watched as a small puff of smoke entered the dungeon through a small crack in the wall.
“That must be him now.” Hades shook his head. “If I were him, I would have picked a better entrance point, like the front door!”
“I’m glad you aren’t him.” Maleficent said with her eyes rolled.
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? I’m direct ok? Forceful! A ‘take charge’ kind of guy!”
“I know, but he does sneak well.”
“Yeah, and there he has me. I like to make an entrance!”
“Again, I’m glad you aren’t him.”
“Alright, shhh, can we keep the comments to a minimum? I’m trying to watch the game here!”
Hades grabbed popcorn from the air and sat back in his chair, watching the table where Ursula and Frollo were getting the grand tour from the Sultan of his palace.
“And this is the main throne room.”
“Such a large lovely room! Oh, and I love the pachyderm décor!”
The Sultan laughed, “Why thank you! Not many people mention that.”
Jasmine turned to Aladdin behind them and smiled.
“I think there’s another peace treaty brewing here.” She said, taking Aladdin’s arm.
“She seems rather genuine. That advisor of hers doesn’t talk much though, does he?”
“He must be the strong, silent type.”
“An advisor? Silent?” Aladdin passed a look of concern over his face.
Razoul came into the throne room and knelt, “Your majesty, the rooms have been checked for intruders as you ordered. None were found.”
“Thank you, Razoul,” the Sultan nodded, “you may go.” He turned to Ursula and Frollo. “With the Genie taking a rest…”
“You have a Genie?” Ursula said, turning to Frollo then back to the Sultan. “That must help you run Agrabah so well.”
“Actually, he’s more my Genie,” Aladdin stepped in, “but he’s free to do whatever he wants. Right now I suppose he’s lazing by the some river or stream with Abu and Iago. They took a short vacation just before you got here.”
“Who are Abu and Iago?”
“Oh, they’re just pets, like Jasmine’s tiger Rajah.”
“T-tiger?” Frollo said, trying to sound dignified.
“We had a little incident with a tiger on our last trip away from the palace,” Ursula whispered to Aladdin, “I don’t believe he fully recovered from that.”
“Oh, well we’ll just keep Rajah out of sight then.”
“We greatly appreciate it,” she smiled. “Actually, we are a little fatigued from our journey. Would it be possible to see our rooms now?”
“I’ll show them to the rooms, Sultan,” Aladdin said, eyeing Frollo.
“Have a pleasant rest, Sultana,” the Sultan waved.
Aladdin and Jasmine walked with Ursula and Frollo down the halls to their rooms. Hades watched as they each bid their goodnights and closed the doors to their rooms.
“Shall we go now?” Hades asked.
“Where is Jafar? If the Genie isn’t there, how do we know he won’t come back?”
“Good point. It seems a shame to bring him back after all that sneaking he went through to get in unnoticed, but…”
Hades snaps his fingers and Jafar appears before him.
“Welcome back Jaffy.”
“What went wrong that you needed to bring me here?” Jafar deflated. “Did they get found out or captured?”
“No, we just thought you’d like to know where the Genie is.”
“Ah, splendid. I would have found out had I finished fixing up my lair, but please tell me.”
“Vacation.” Maleficent, Hades, and the Horned King all said at once.
Jafar rolled his eyes, sighed and sat down on a chair. Hades waved his hand over the table again and there they saw the Genie with Abu and Iago swimming and playing around a large waterfall and river.
“Send me there.”
“No, no, no…” Maleficent shook her head, “go and take Hades with you while the Horned King and I meet up with Ursula and Frollo. Aladdin is beginning to get suspicious of Frollo. Once you’ve taken care of them, meet us back at the palace.”
“That takes care of everything,” Hades said, “have you been planning this for 16 years?”
“Don’t mock me.” Maleficent glared at Hades. “Just send us to our respective locations and let’s do this, shall we?”
“You got it babe,” Hades snapped his fingers and Maleficent and the Horned King were immediately in Ursula’s room.
“So what is the plan?” Maleficent asked Ursula.
“Daddy dear first, daughter second.”
“And the tiger?” the Horned King questioned.
“I was thinking of leaving that to Frollo,” Ursula snickered, “or else dealing with it myself while he tries to take care of the girl.”
“Do you think it’s wise to let him get rid of the girl?”
“I think someone should be on hand just in case. You didn’t happen to see how he was eyeing her, did you?”
Maleficent sneered as the door opened and Frollo entered. They stared at him as he closed the door cautiously. When he turned around to face them, he jerked slightly.
“Ah good, you’re here.” Frollo said, then looked a little bewildered. “Something wrong?”
The others just laughed.
“Nothing Frollo,” Maleficent said with a smile, “nothing at all. We were just discussing who to get rid of in what order.”
“Yes,” Ursula chimed in, “and what we should do. I think killing the Sultan wouldn’t be a particularly good idea, although it would be satisfying to kill a father in power off! Once we get rid of this brat, the Sultan will still go on with life as usual.”
“Agreed,” Maleficent said, “shall we lock him in the dungeon perhaps? A fine place to dispose of any royalty!”
“That would work.” Frollo mused. “And the daughter? She’ll still need to take after her father; she just won’t have her hero. What should we do with her?”
“Definitely not the dungeon.” The Horned King announced. “No two victims in the same location until the job is done. Less of a hassle to worry if they will plot together and escape.”
“You know,” Ursula commented, “you don’t say much, but when you do, you have some pretty good ideas! Where were you when I was trying to take over Atlantica?”
“Dead.”
“Right. So any suggestions on where the princess goes?”
“How about the top of the palace?” Maleficent suggested. “If bound and gagged, I’m sure no one would notice.”
“Splendid!” Frollo smiled. “So which do we start with first?”
“The tiger.” Ursula reminded him.
“Ah, yes…” Frollo paused and took a deep breath, “and who would like to deal with the tiger?”
“I have a way with animals, leave the tiger to me.” The Horned King opened the door to the room and disappeared.
“That doesn’t leave us with much choice, now does it?” Ursula remarked. “I should go find our dear Sultan and ask for a tour of the dungeons, don’t you agree? It isn’t too late, and I believe he would be playing with his toys.”
“Maleficent, would you care to find me the princess while she deals with the Sultan?” Frollo said with a sly grin as Ursula walked out. “I’m afraid if I wander, I will draw attention to myself.”
“Oh I haven’t traveled as a spot of light in so long, I would love to.” She looked at Frollo sternly. “However, you must remain here no matter what happens. I will bring her in here so you may bind her, but you may not accompany me to place her.”
He looked at the ceiling. “Very well.”
Maleficent seemed to disappear into a small spot of light and went under the door to find Jasmine, leaving Frollo to sit on the chair in the room waiting for her to return. She began to roam the halls, then went out into the garden and found the princess with Aladdin.
“Too bad I can’t kill two birds with one stone,” she thought as she neared them.
“Jasmine, I am just suspicious. Who ever heard of an advisor that doesn’t talk much?”
“Oh Aladdin, you’re just suspicious of everyone that comes into the palace to meet with father!”
“And rightly so!” He broke away from Jasmine and stood talking face to face. “Remember when Mirage was here? As the Sultana?”
“Of course, but this woman looks nothing like her. She even sounds nothing like her too.” She took his hands in hers. “It isn’t Mirage, it’s a new Sultana from a far off land, and father thinks she is wonderful! He even showed her his toys and she liked them!”
“AH HA! You see?”
“See what?” Jasmine said, slightly annoyed. “That father has found someone who takes a genuine interest in what he likes too? Is that so hard to understand?”
Aladdin sighed. “I’m sorry Jasmine, I just worry sometimes.” He took her hands in his and held them to his chest. “I just don’t want anything bad to happen again.”
“Well I’m sure everything will be fine this time. Agrabah is being watched over by a brave soul named Aladdin.”
Maleficent turned away as they kissed. She wondered how long it was going to take for them to separate, but then she heard a sigh that sounded promising.
“Father wanted to take the Sultana around the gardens in the morning, so I think I should head to sleep. You would be wise to do the same, you know.” She tapped him on the nose with her finger.
“I think I’ll just walk around for a while to clear my head, but yes, you should go in.” He kissed her again. Goodnight Jasmine.”
“Sleep tight Aladdin.” She turned and started walking towards the stairs inside.
Aladdin paced about the gardens and Maleficent followed Jasmine until she was about to go into her room. When her hand was on the doorknob, Maleficent turned back into her true form and tapped her shoulder.
“Pardon me, miss, but I believe your presence is requested elsewhere.”
Jasmine opened her mouth to scream, but found her voice was gone and she couldn’t move. Maleficent motioned with her hand and lifted Jasmine off the floor to float alongside her.
“This way if you please.”
She walked with Jasmine to Ursula’s room where Frollo patiently waited. As Maleficent opened the door, Jasmine gasped as she began to recognize them. Frollo smiled and looked at Maleficent.
“Twine? Rope? Anything?” He looked intensely at her and held his hand out in anticipation.
“Must I do everything?” Maleficent said as she waved her hand and rope appeared in his hands.
Frollo tied Jasmine’s arms behind her back and sniffed her hair. Maleficent just stared at him until he noticed her. He stopped and tied her legs together, then tied her ankles to her wrists and bound them so she couldn’t try to escape. He took 2 thick handkerchiefs and stuffed one in her mouth, using the other to tie her mouth closed.
“There, now you can place her.”
Maleficent snapped her fingers and Jasmine was around the smallest part of the highest point of the palace.
“What?” Frollo said as she just looked at him.
“Nothing,” she replied, “come on, let’s get to the dungeon to see how Ursula is.”
“The quickest way possible, please. I would like to try that if you don’t mind.”
Maleficent laughed and waved her hands. Immediately they were in the dungeon staring at Ursula chaining the Sultan to the wall with a gag in his mouth.
“He wouldn’t be quiet, and now that’s fixed. Poor unfortunate soul.” She laughed.
“Jasmine is taken care of as well,” Frollo said, “and with any luck, the Horned King took care of the tiger.”
“I did.” A voice calmly said behind them.
They turned to see the Horned King walking down the stairs slowly. He reached the bottom and looked at the Sultan with his red glowing eyes.
“Are you this great Sultan?” He laughed. “Jafar and Hades are in Jafar’s lair, and I am to take you to them, but I think we will go the quick way. I haven’t been alive long enough to appreciate walking.”
Before he knew it, the Sultan was alone, and try as he might, he could not get free or open his mouth to cry out. The others appeared in Jafar’s lair where Jafar was holding a small cage with 2 stuffed toys inside.
“What happened?” Ursula asked with a broad smile on her face.
“I tell you, Jaffy was great fun to watch!” Hades recalled. “He saw Iago and got his attention. Iago started saying how he would follow Jafar to the ends of the earth and all that. Jafar just looked at him, and…tell them what you said!”
“Pet. You’re nothing but a pet.” Jafar grinned and held up the stuffed bird toy.
“I am so proud!” Hades remarked.
“Yes,” Jafar said, “and I said he would be more suited as a toy than a pet. Before I could change him, however, that flea bitten monkey saw me and came over. So I made a pair.”
“Aren’t they adorable?” Hades snickered.
“And the Genie?” Frollo wondered aloud.
Jafar turned around and picked up a large orb of what looked like glass with a giant iron claw closed over it. He let out a laugh that made everyone else smile and applaud lightly for him.
“I still say you’re a freak with that laugh thing,” Hades shook his head, “but you deserve it. What do you say you toss him into the Cave of Wonders like you suggested?”
“My pleasure.” He stared at the Genie and disappeared before their eyes with him and the toys.
Jafar reappeared in the middle of the desert sands before a small mound of sand and held his hand out palm up. The two pieces of the scarab rose out of the mound and fell into his hand. He placed the Genie on the mound and grinned the most evil grin he could muster and took his other hand, palm down, and seemingly pushed the air above the Genie. He placed the toys where the Genie had been and snickered lightly.
“Iago, it’s a shame to have to let you go like this, but all is not fair in the game of life. You won’t know anymore, anyway. Farewell.”
He repeated the actions he had done with the Genie and looked at the scarab pieces in his hand. With a smile and a quick pocketing of the pieces, he reappeared in his lair.
“Tell us, Jafar,” Hades said, “With all of your worst enemy’s friends disposed of, what are you going to do now?”
“I’m going to kill Aladdin.”
“That is a great feeling, isn’t it? I mean really, when you just know your worst enemy is going to die finally and you’re going to get revenge for the way he made you look in your movies, I’d say that is definitely a great feeling!”
“Here,” Jafar handed Hades the pieces of scarab, “melt these will you?”
“Hey,” Hades flares up his hand and melts them instantly, letting them fall on the floor, becoming part of the floor, “badda-bing-bang-boom, gone!” He notices Frollo with an unusual smile on his face.
“You smelled her hair, didn’t you?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Frollo said, looking away.
“He did, and I have no clue why.” Maleficent said.
“Frollo, babe, what’s with the hair? What, do the dark haired girls have the best scented hair, or do you just have a thing for long black haired chicks?”
“What did Esmeralda’s hair smell like anyway?” Ursula asked.
“Cherry bark and almonds,” Frollo said without batting an eye.
They all laughed.
“Frollo, man, don’t EVER change!” Hades patted him on the back. “What did Jasmine’s hair smell like?”
“NOT cherry bark and almonds. Some sort of spice. Maybe cinnamon.” He thought a moment. “No, not cinnamon. Definitely a spice or flower though.”
“I’m telling you,” Hades whispered to the ladies, “he’s a closet hairdresser. I don’t know what to say!”
“How should I kill him?” Jafar pondered aloud. “A beheading?”
“Didn’t you try that twice before?” Ursula asked.
“No, only once. The first time I only said I had beheaded him, the second try almost worked.”
“Poison him slowly?” Maleficent offered.
“Impale him on a stake?” The Horned King said.
“Oh so many options to choose from!” Hades dramatized. “Please! Just pick one so we can get this done and go back to plan the next revenge!”
“Ah, so you admit I had a working idea for vengeance!” Maleficent grinned like the cat that swallowed the canary.
“I admit nothing, babe, ok?” Hades sulked, “I just said we need to kill Aladdin to get this over with. When he is dead, I will admit you had a good idea, but I want proof he’s dead first.”
“It’s nearly midnight, and it’s a full moon,” Frollo said, “a perfect night for a beheading.”
Everyone looked at Frollo.
“I looked it up somewhere. I prefer torture to getting it over quickly, that way the demon has time to leave the body before it dies, but in this case I think a quick death might be suitable.”
“You know, actually he’s right.” Jafar said. “Plus third time’s a charm, eh?”
“I thought you said this would be your second?” Ursula corrected him, crossing her arms.
“Whatever, ok?” Hades said, impatiently. “Axe or guillotine?”
“Axe,” Jafar grinned, “and I want to do it myself.”
Hades looked around and put his arms straight up in the air and shrugged. The 6 villains and a bound and gagged Aladdin appeared in the menagerie behind the palace. Jafar looked up at the palace and saw Jasmine wriggling around and waved at her. Immediately she went limp.
“I think she fainted,” Frollo commented, “poor girl couldn’t watch you kill him.”
Jafar walked in front of the block to which Aladdin was chained, and bent over to stand face to face with him.
“Well well, Prince Abubu, or should we say Aladdin…” He sneered. “Boy you picked the wrong villain to upset. And now it has come back to haunt you. All I asked was for a kingdom of my own to rule, and you had to step in and see that I wouldn’t get it. No one had to get hurt, you see! Things are not always as they seem. I could have spared your life, but because you ruined mine, you must pay. You can’t rule a kingdom without cracking a few heads! I’m sure no one will truly miss you, and the other villains that have been after you for ages will thank me! Too bad, but it is time to say goodbye, street rat!”
The other villains made a circle around Aladdin’s body as he tried to struggle. Jafar looked at the axe leaning against the block and grasped it with one hand. Then he held it with the other. His eyes were set as he raised the axe over his head, fixated on the boy whom he knew he had to be rid of once and for all. Aladdin turned his head and looked in sheer terror at Jafar one last time as the axe came barreling down with great speed. A noise came, then silence.
In the moonlight, the 6 villains stood around a chopping block with the body of Aladdin lying peacefully still, and his head rolled a few feet away. Jafar solemnly walked over and bent down to pick up the head by the hair. He looked into Aladdin’s eyes and slapped his face before carelessly tossing the head aside.
“He is dead.”
Hades looked at the head then the body, then back at the head again.
“Not that I don’t believe you, Jaffy, but let’s go check the well of souls, eh?”
“An excellent idea.” Jafar was eerily calm.
They all disappeared to leave the scene of the crime for someone else to find and clean up, and returned to the Underworld. Hades led them to the well of souls and they all looked over.
“THERE!” The Horned King, with wide red eyes exclaimed and pointed.
Indeed, there in the well of souls, with the same expression that would be forever engraved on his severed head, was Aladdin. Jafar’s eye let one tear free and it rolled down his cheek as he smiled.
“YES!” Hades shouted for joy, “The first hero GONE! It’s possible. How can this be possible? It’s never been done before!”
Maleficent smiled and shook her head. “It was written that way. If it hadn’t been written that way, Hades, it would not have happened.”
They walked back to the villain’s tank and Hades lifted the lid.
“Just thought we would let you know, we killed Aladdin. For any of you interested, detailed accounts of that will be available for print in the lobby upon request.” Hades laughed and dropped the lid again.
The 6 villains went back into the war room and sat around the table.
“Who’s next?” Hades said, reclining in his throne.
