No footstep stirred: the hated world an slept,
Save only thee and me. (Oh, Heaven! oh, God!
How my heart beats in coupling those two words!)
Save only thee and me. I paused - I looked
And in an instant all things disappeared.
Thursday 19 August 10; 09:03pm
MY JOURNAL IS LOCKED BECAUSE MOST OF YOU ARE IDIOTS.
i promise i promise it'll be the only post of its kind i make - i know this is not what livejournal was designed for.
please don't hate me for this if you don't agree with my opinion : i'm not trying to preach, i just want to try and help any way i can.
i picked up a leaflet while i was talking to some of those annoying animal rights campaigners today
and have taken the liberty of copying out some facts about europe's biggest turkey producer for you ; _
thousands of dirty and dying turkeys live crowded together in dark sheds, standing in their own waste. it can burn away their feathers and cause painful ulcers. factory-farmed turkeys are fattened up so quickly that often their legs can't support them. they collapse and try to drag themselves along on their wings. tens of thousands die because they cannot get to food and water points. they are so fat their hearts can actually explode. diseases run rife in the dirty conditions and most birds are fed a cocktail of antibiotics to keep them alive. male turkeys are bred to be so big that they are unable to mate naturally. they have to be clamped upside down and masturbated by a farm-worker. their semen is collected and forcibly injected into the females. alledgedly to stop them from cannibalising each other, turkeys often have the end of their beak sliced off, which can leave them in permanent pain. at the slaughterhouse, they are hung upside down and dragged through an electrified waterbath to stun them. it doesn't always work and many birds are still fully-conscious when their throats are cut. some are even alive when they are plunged into boiling water to loosen their feathers.
i simply want to pass along that christmas is ONE DAY of the year in which you'd typically eat meat and could literally save lives just by making the tiniest bit of effort. when you think about it guys, you end up completely fucking STUFFED on christmas day with chocolate and shit, do you really need the meat on your plate too?
one ACTUALLY-PRETTY-TASTY-WORD that is all you need ;
i'm just asking if anyone who isn't usually a vegetarian might consider not buying turkey just for the sake of it on christmas. most people don't even like turkey, it's just tradition. and the kind of conditions the animals are kept in is inhumane and cruel, whether you believe animals to be important or not, the points listed above are still sickening. your family will save time on cooking and all that annoying bullshit that no one is in the mood for when you want to slob around eating toblerone.
it's one day. it's not a big sacrifice.
if you ARE already veg/vegan and realise that christmas doesn't have to mean mass-murder in this brutal way, posting a little of this information in your own journal would be absolutely awesome. i'd at least feel like it could help a little.
I. Red light, green light. stop, go. your life is constantly moving-but in the same damn direction. you wake up every morning already knowing how you're going to feel for the next twelve ungodly hours of your life. Robot or zombie-you don't know which you feel like more. But what's the difference between having the life sucked out of you or never having a life in general? II. you haven't put any effort into thinking in over four months. you're more thoughtless than anyone you have ever met. III. you're always looking for god, but in all the wrong places. Religion will never help a person like you. IV. only certain people matter to you at certain moments of the day. Drifting from everyone you know is not exactly the way to classify what you're doing. life seems different when you're out of gas and going no where.
i constantly tell myself to wake up and stop feeling so fucking empty.
you're not the one changing, but i am. and i'm sorry for this.
[06 Oct 2004|09:48pm]
my heart is beating really hard and i can feel it in my throat. i'm sure that if it were possible, my heart would jump out of my mouth and lie limp on the ground.
it's kind of weird how i can use pictures from a year and a half ago and i can still make them relate. and it's kind of weird how people will pick things out of my journal and make it seem like they relate to what i say.
p.s. today is mine and travis's seven months, i still have yet to talk to him.
1. you're about as bitter as the taste in your mouth. tonight is one one those nights when it only takes a minute or two to realize it'll be restless. One of those nights where it really does feel like you're living to die.
2. your head is submerged in the bath water, you can hear the subtle beat of a heart. You know it belongs to you. It isn't surprising to you that it sounds slower than a half note. You're slowly dying, but you take it as a sign that you're still alive. You make the water hot enough so you can feel the blood rush through your warm body. Again, another greater sign of being alive.
3. Loneliness is starting to sink in. You'd be happier living in a still photograph than living by yourself. But no matter how close thirty miles is, it is still too far. You've written a thousand "dear lover" letters, but none of them have been sent and ever will be sent. The way you write makes it sound like you're three million different people wrapped into one. You make your life complete writing like that.
4. you're eager to pick up the phone when it rings. Maybe there'll be someone on the other end wanting to talk to you, but the only thing that ever calls anymore is silence.
5. She said, "Wait for me, i'll be home to eat dinner with you." She walks in on your already twenty-minute late dinner. You know the way Sundays feel like the back of your hand. Lately, the days are starting to run together. Tuesday is no different from thursday and thursday is no different from sunday. Your house is well over big enough for five people, but you've been the only one there. Soon it'll be winter and there won't be crisp grass inviting you to soak up the sun with it. It'll be dull and stale like every other year and the house will be colder and emptier than ever.
someone is playing music outside; it's faint, but pretty. the curtains are trying to escape with the wind, but the screen keeps catching them. i have spent the past few mostly outside and lately i have been wanting to put life into everything. summer is winding down, but i don't mind; complete bliss had ended with June. on saturday, i outlined the clouds with my fingers at my aunt's lake house and determined how pretty life really is. sometimes i like the taste of dirty water and the way the trees wrestle among themselves and the reflection of the sky in the lake. yesterday i went to the fair with travis and realized heights really are not that bad, but i'd rather stay on the ground. and contrary to what travis says, jesus fucking cripple is NOT a person. in a week i'll be finding out my placements for the next nine months and for some reason i am kind of glad.
today is one of those days where you fall behind. A slow start to things with a slower end. The important things said don't phase you because you're too involved with the fact that your hair needs washed. you've begin to realize the way your family treats you is the way it's always going to be. you're sick of the weight gain, but you don't do anything to prevent it. your boyfriend could be in a completely different state and it wouldn't matter any more than it already does; it would still feel like the same distance. it has been over a week since he fell asleep in your bed, and you weren't even there. you're happy enough with the simple fact that he is still around. the only way you can think and write anymore is with pronouns, names remind you of too many memories.