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Strawberry Pip

Thoughts for Today - The Archive

June - October 2004





31/10/04

Happy Halloween!


Hey, whaddya know?! I stuck to a plan. I have finished off the DLA form. I have a planned time to go to CAB and get them to check it over, I have a plan to get an appt with my GP in the next few days for their input and I see my specialist on Thursday. Of course, this may all be some sideways way of showing nerves for Thursdays potential lack of life-changing occurances, but who cares! If it helps it helps and that's what matters.
I got to go for a nice wander on the moors, to enjoy the nice autumn (hmm..) morning light with Amy this morning and have a nice catch up. I've moved on to fighting with my fingers (who don't seem to be such a fan of all this typing) as to whether I can destroy myself for the week by just going OTT and playing a new computer game, GTA San Andreas. Unfortunately, I'm a big fan of the GTA games... I think sense will probably win out tho!
I have lots to look forward to this week, including curry and Joe's in Swansea on Thursday!

Update: Sense didn't win out really. But San Andreas is very cool and I am ridiculously out of practise (aka baaad)!


30/10/04

"I suppose its all part of the experience, how it makes you a different person, stronger and better able to deal with the next problem"

My teepee side has beaten me to it again! I've been in a philosophical mood this week. Bouncing around from thought to thought and trying to organise my life. Tomorrow I am going to do my last non-CAB check over of my DLA form (having been screwed for part of last night when I tried to carry on as if I were a normal, able person and gone out clubbing in london, only to lose my legs and spend a great deal of it sitting at the side...oh well, the 'electric ballroom' plays brilliant music and I got to listen to that!!) I, as you can probably tell from recent posts, am really trying hard to get my life in order at the moment. Despite the fact that this has seemed to be an uphill struggle, I thank Sarah for reminding me why I keep going.


29/10/04 I found this and thought it was lovely.

Beginning Today...
Author Unknown

Beginning today I will no longer worry about yesterday. It is in the past and the past will never change. Only I can change by choosing to do so.

Beginning today I will no longer worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to make the most of it. But I cannot make the most of tomorrow without first making the most of today.

Beginning today I will look in the mirror and I will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration. This capable person looking back at me is someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I would like to get to know better.

Beginning today I will cherish each moment of my life. I value this gift bestowed upon me in this world and I will unselfishly share this gift with others. I will use this gift to enhance the lives of others.

Beginning today I will take a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries I encounter. I will face challenges with courage and determination. I will overcome what barriers there may be which hinder my quest for growth and self-improvement.

Beginning today I will take life one day at a time, one step at a time. Discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to succeed or my capacity to love.

Beginning today I walk with renewed faith in human kindness. Regardless of what has gone before, I believe there is hope for a brighter and better future.

Beginning today I will open my mind and my heart. I will welcome new experiences. I will meet new people. I will not expect perfection from myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world. But I will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles.

Beginning today I am responsible for my own happiness and I will do things that make me happy . . . admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favorite music, pet a kitten or a puppy, soak in a bubble bath . . . pleasure can be found in the most simple of gestures.

Beginning today I will learn something new; I will try something different; I will savor all the various flavors life has to offer. I will change what I can and the rest I will let go. I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be.

Beginning today. And every day.




28/10/04 Pumpkin design comp over - I came up with a design myself.
...well....me and my mum. We came up with the idea of buffy the vampire slayer and that I have done. My camera didn't like it, but i'm going to see if i can nick a better one to use and show you guys. I sat there, hatpin, pumpkin and knife, watching james bond last night and now all is complete for the competition tomorrow. Who says I have too much spare time on my hands?!
For those of that argument, i also signed up for a web course, NCFE Level 3 Certificate in Telematics, applied for about six jobs and cooked the evening meal for once. I do stuff really!!!!


26/10/04 GoJobsite is my new fave site!
Got a phone call today from an agency who had found my CV and thought i'd be suitable! Woohoo to headhunting!
Meanwhile, I have been presented a pumpkin, ripe for the carving. It will be the ground floor cognos entry for pumpkins on Friday, so if anyone has a really impressive pumpkin design tell me!! Thanks!!

25/10/04 I like cream cakes, i like pie, I like eating and a job that gives me free food!
Hmm...doesn't quite rhyme, but the important point is there!
I must admit, the mornings have been beginning to get to me, but tomorrow I have a sleep in: one whole hour! That's right, a whole one! :) Tomorrow is a quiet conference day, which means as opposed to the lurvely 07.30 start (that's AT work, before you start smirking), I get to go in for 09.00!! Now, I know that adds up to an hour and a half, but traffic gets worse, so I only get an hour extra in the warmth of my duvet! Speaking of which, had any of you realised that the clocks go back this weekend?!?! How did this happen? Can't be doing with that! ..and before you start, we are still not at the point where i am ready to discuss C*7*s (NB. For those of you who have not heard of this yet, it is also heard of as Dec 25th or that thing that ppl now advertise (as if it's normal to) in August.)
It has also occurred to me, that I am now nearing the time that I set to finish my DLA form regardless of job. Hmm..arg. Well, technically, I believe all the bits I need to do, are done. (Scary huh) Now all I have to do, is to get an appointment with my Dr (HA!) after work (Hahahahaha!) and persuade her to fill in the rest of the form (Oh the pain of laughing so much!) THEN, I'll take it to get checked over by citizens advice and finally I WILL send the stupid thing away! [To get lost in the post forever]
Hmmm.... ah well, I can but try. Aim is to have it sent off my 16th November.
Getting stuff done and taking on the world... in need of sleep sometime too...!


24/10/04 Splinted up and ready to go, I'm rushing headlong into winter and I don't care what it does to me. It's all experience for something!
:p


23/10/04
Stepping stones may take me backwards,
but I'll not fall off



20/10/04 I keep looking at other people's blogs and thinking it's been ages since they last wrote, I want to know how they are...and here I am having not written for..erm quite a bit! Sorry!!!
So what have I been up to? Well, I've been working at Cognos as Receptionist/Conference Centre Coordinator. Quite enjoying it, although wouldn't want to be there permanently. It's nice to know that there's a small inflow, even if my parents have started charging me rent. :( (Payable when i'm paid) I've won some random competition giving me a free pamper day/makeover thing in London. Who knows?! They may teach me to be girly.
I'm missing Swansea.Don't get me wrong, I love being at home, having the option of jobs (at least in theory, which is more than there is in Swan), I love hanging out with Amy, Rob and Anthony and meeting all of Anthony's friends.I just miss certain people in Swansea and Joe's Ice Cream..Maybe I should just ask randoms if they have teaspoons that I can borrow, but it just makes the difference when health is steadily reverting to winter status. But as my all-time poem says; 'Stepping Stones may take me backwards, but I'll not fall off'. Plus, hey, the beach isn't that much to look at this time of year anyway!
Tomorrow I am off to meet with friends from school. Why is it that dipping into the past always brings up such mixed feelings? It's like sitting on a turntable, waiting for it to stop by a path and just watching the world spin past again and again!! :s
Currently listening to: Magnolia Soundtrack


12/10/04 That's better...

Getting busier here now. I now have a couple of jobs to get me through to November. Feeling a lot happier now I'm getting sorted! I got offered a couple of jobs from various agencies yesterday. Went in to do shadowing for temp-perm position and came out feeling thoroughly disillusioned. Phoned up agency saying don't want it, take it away!! Got moaned up for not being realistic about needing a job and just taking what was there.(Don't worry,not by agency) After taking time out for food and more online applications, i got my bum into gear and took off to Bracknell to see Wise Employment. Thoroughly impressed. I was there for a couple of hours, but I now have a job for thursday, friday and the next three weeks!Plus the manager there sat down with me and took the time to really help me out in what would be interesting for me and she's putting me forward for a couple of permanent positions immediately too!
Sooo nice to deal with professionals that respect that I am looking for work NOW and not only that, but looking for something to give me valuable experience during that immediate work!!

*Big sigh out!* and now I am a happy, soon to be employed person, who can spend tomorrow shopping and going to the gym!! :) Good!!


11/10/04 Thought for the day: If I survived the more interesting people during my year at SUSU, I can handle most things!!



10/10/04 Did someone say bored? Oh yes, me. I'm bored. Out of my mind. Restless and bored.Broke, restless and bored. Broke,unemployed, restless and bored. Did I mention bored? Not that I'm bored at this precise instant.I'm just very aware that I'm lacking a direction at the moment.I love having something to work towards.Even a really annoying challenge gives me something to go towards.But no job prospects and no ideas on whether this will have changed in six weeks time doesn't help me on.
On the plus side I've finally finished Sophie's Choice! Woohoo!! Despite the overwhelming urge to get on with the new Terry Pratchett book 'Going Postal', I remembered I have also started reading the (apparently not very happy) Catcher in the Rye and have managed to pick it up again. Another slow book, but Going Postal is likely to take me all of one night knowing (a)how much i love Terry Pratchett books, and (b)that even in only picking it up when at Anthony's and he's been out of the room I've gotten to page 15! So I suppose it gives me motivation to read on. Catcher in the Rye - before you start going all Conspiracy Theory on me, is part of my initiative that I started last year when I decided i haven't read enough of the classics and went through a big spurt on Amazon following watching The Big Read on tv. I love a good challenge.
Another of my challenges finishes this week. The Challenging Arthritis course is on it's sixth and final week this week. I think it has helped me. It has helped me to set myself targets (whether I've kept to them or not) and to gain a few more ideas on dealing with people/pain/idiot doctors. It has also given me the opportunity to meet other people in similar situations. Okay, none of them are in quite as unstable a position in their lives right now as I am, but they face many of the same challenges and it's nice to have a physical reminder that I'm not the only one rather than just muttering it to myself!
Don't let any of this make you think I'm laying back and relaxing into inactivity though. Tomorrow it is straight to an appointment with another job agency to look for inspiration to take me forward. Failing that, I still have an interest in the TEFL course, which can help me go forward in the UK even if I don't apply it to the more distant areas of the globe. I can do that online which saves me worrying about travel time/costs!!
Arthur may try it's best as winter approaches too, but (1)I have found caffeine free tea to offer me comfort, (2)My wax bath is sitting next to the computer to aid my computer-winded hands and (3) I know that my teepee and other friends will help me through, just by being!
Now go waste your time with Star Wars Stick Men and be happy!!



07/10/04 Having just had a really nice evening, I am having to face that arthur has nicked the feeling in my left hand and left it with something similar to pins and needles. I apologise if I am in a really foul mood on November 4th. If I am, it will be that despite days like today, my rheumy (Rheumatologist/arthritis specialist) will have told me yet again that nothing is wrong and I can be discharged from his care...In which case, I will, I'm afraid, be in a very very foul mood!! ...But I have grown to expect this from my appointments, which is why I apologise now.
Oh and as for the Swansea job...I didn't get it.
On a positive note, I am off to the Job Agency (agencies) tomorrow to go in search of the jobs which I'm sure are out there somewhere!!

Remember what the boys of Monty Python say..."Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!"


On a separate note, October is Breast Cancer awareness week and so I will use this opportunity to tell you all to click the below:
thebreastcancersite.com every day and click on the pink "Fund Free Mammograms" button to help fund free mammograms for homeless, low-income women.

October marks the Pink Ribbon Challenge at The Breast Cancer Site, where every daily click is doubled thanks to our premiere sponsor, National City. This month, more than ever, a simple daily click will save lives. Our goal is to give 500 mammograms this month and we'll meet and beat that goal with your help. Please tell your friends about the Pink Ribbon Challenge and click every day!

Thank You!


07/10/04 Well I'm back in bonny Sandhurst! I have spent two and a half days discovering I don't live well in a tent, and another two days remembering how rich i am in terms of my Swansea friends (not to mention recovering from the debilitating evilness that was done to my joints by running around with sticks in the cold rain and sleeping in an almost waterproof tent)
By the way, contrary to popular belief, Arthur is no friend of mine and no 'bit on the side' as has been questioned by confused people. Arthur Ritis is a nickname given to the pain in the bum (Well...joints, but u know what I mean) that is Arthritis. So don't worry about this nasty man called Arthur who keeps stopping me from doing what I want. It's merely a health thing! But I prefer to call it Arthur.
05/10/04 Hmm...Long time no blog. Oh well. This is a short excerpt from Swansea through a hijacked computer!
My favourite thing to do in the whole world is to spend time with my friends! I can spend every minute of every day surrounded by people and I don't hink i'd ever have a problem! If they're not around I am quite happy to spend time on my own and have no problem with it. But basically this is a lovely selfish blog just to say...i love my friends and i love my teepee :)


23/09/04 All those in Pink tracksuits..I'm sorry, but you're bad and wrong and need to go back home and try to not look like you belong on Chavscum.com!! People in these pink tracksuits or people with revved up cars answering to the name of Kev seem to have Camberley surrounded. If i knew where the white flag was for camberley i would have waved it long ago!! But hey, Swansea was quite bad for the suped up cars, kappa trousers and gold chains, so I suppose i should be used to the idea. I'm not tho, it remains bad and wrong!


22/09/04 There's nothing like someone saying they've been looking at your blog to get you thinking about what's on it!! This started off with my anxiety over the election of UKIP party members throughout the country and now I tend to post half my life on here!
Challenging Arthritis course again today! Didn't get abandoned in Basingstoke this week too! Much better with a working car. Ways of dealing with things seems to vary so much (and yet so little) from person to person. Some things come up again and again!! Baths and sleep being the neverending cures.
Learn something new everyday. If you don't, then reach out so that you do! If I could have one thing it is to be able to carry on learning new things and expand my knowledge as much as I can. I love it that way!!
Currently listening to:Nirvana and Lost Prophets
New song of interest: Good Charlotte - Premonition

(Not sure that title's correct, but sounds good!)


21/09/04 News since friday.... Peter came down on Friday which was fun! We went out and played pool and then i got to introduce him to Anthony in Guildford where we went out for the eve to Lloyds and Time. (Mini version of Swansea Time ppl!!)
Saturday I went to Anthony's dad's 50th B-day Do! Really impressive and good fun! Most of them could actually dance properly :s Good to watch though!
Sunday, I went to the Radio One event in Birmingham with Nooreen!! I got to see Damien Rice, Joss Stone, Kings of Chav (Oops! Sorry "GLC") and the brilliant Lost Prophets! Kings of chav scared me in their shell suits and little chains and well...just bad and wrong basically! Joss Stone was ok. I am now a much bigger Damien Rice fan and well...lost prophets :D !!
Monday, I had my car returned to me at a price just high enough to deprive me from my last hope of payng off my o/d through this work period. Amy came over after dinner and we got to have a nice Strawberry milkshake evening!! Woohoo!
My life is a bit manic at the moment (As you might well guess) I'm trying to get round to see people and live my life to the full. Due to the guzzling money nature of my car it is not looking likely that I will be able to go to Italy just yet.I have however asked WIDE (Woking Information for Disabled Enquiries) about information on disabled travelling in both Italy and China. Seemed a good idea for if I still want these options in the future.
My quest to finish the DLA form is still going. I have got some helpful booklets from WIDE and have noted that the CAB there is open til 7 on Tuesdays so once I have reviewed my application with this booklet I can go back next week and get it checked over properly.I will send it off!
It doesn't feel like I'm getting anywhere but in the knowledge that I am making those little steps towards getting myself sorted, I am sure they will get me further ahead in the long run.
PS. Tickets for Les Mis are only £25 at the mo. My not-spending is simply not going to work! :(
If you don't try, you'll never know
Currently listening to: Natalie Imbruglia


17/9/04 Arg! Job applications and CV's!! Running around the net and the world trying to sort out something!
I'm applying to all good jobs everywhere, as was the rule set down by me. There's a really good job back in Swansea, which would be lovely. I honestly didn't think I would head back to Swansea for quite some time though.. Also applying for jobs by here Aaaaaaaarghh! Welsh-isms!!! nearhere...near here!!! A few jobs with the Environment Agency at Reading or Guildford. Few tidbits around that I would enjoy. Didn't get any responses from last round of job apps though which is a bit disheartening.
Meanwhile, I am on a Challenging Arthritis course which is a bit different. We have to talk set weekly aims for ourselves and this week I have said I am going to work on my DLA form on at least two evenings. Why would anyone give someone who has difficulty writing a form that is fifty pages long to explain that they have probs writing. Isn't that a bit mean??!! Nevertheless I am doing it and it is just a matter of putting down the last few bits and getting it checked through by randoms a hundred million times before sending it off. Oh for a simple life!! Anyway, whilst this is a very good job application diversion, I should probably get back to it!


15/9/04 00.15 Little note to say a very happy Strawberry now has a boyfriend :)


14/9/04 :) Fairly good mood today. Possibly a little hyperactive after sitting at a computer all day!!
Bit fed up of insinuations of my laziness when i can't manage stairs and i take the lifts! Oh well they don't know and I can't be bothered to tell them all the explanations.
So so so soooooo broke!!! This wasn't the plan! The plan was to pay off o/d earn enough for a short stint in Europe. Be able to run around and grin lots. Then the car stole all my money. Not impressed!!


11/9/04 Welcome back Rob

See!! The solution is just 40 hours sleep! Why didn't I think of that?! Still a bit bummed that it put all plans on hold, but hey, atleast I am now back to my normal(...) bouncy self!
Rob is back in the country! Woohoo! After his week break in Tenerife
Anyway, he's back so I shall have to drag him to the pub and swap updates on the world at large! He's still mocking me for my car breaking down and I'm mocking him for 'misplacing' his phone! It's all fair!
Today I am off to Saville Gardens for my Nan's Birthday! Should be nice to wander round there. Very weird tho considering I haven't been there since we wandered around and laid my grandad to rest. Am thinking now that I'm feeling a bit better the pub would be a really good follow up to that! Hmm...shall see!
PS. Go to http://www.fallout-design.com/bunnyfoo/funfoo.htm


10/9/04 Uch! What a crappy day. Working followed by drinks, dinner and a film have been replaced by sitting in bed all day with occasionally trips to the sofa! How annoying! I just about have a voice now, but still not moving far from my bed.br> On the plus side after many hours in bed unable to do anything I am gaining enough control to go back to reading now which will make me all happy again! Vive la monde de fiction!!
J'espère que vous toute allez bien


9/9/04 Gaynor's Birthday!!
Currently Listening to: Feeder - Comfort in Sound


The problem with arthur is not just the restriction of motion but the whole flair up knock on bit that means a bad pain in the joints turns into a splitting headache and an overwhelming urge to stay in bed all day! But I have found motivation. Specifically, my long happy bubble bath at the end of my work day :) and on a longer scale, Sauna, Spa and Jacuzzi. There must be one around here someplace!! and I know those work on my joints and getting me to relax!
Job offers have successfully steered clear of myself, but I have been forwarded more ideas on jobs to go for and am quite excited about some of them!! There's something about spotting ideal jobs that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside! To be making a career out of something you enjoy and be able to give back, now that is something.
Meanwhile I look to October and my plans for Italy. I have signed up for a course which does not finish until 13th October so that moves it slightly, but it's still doable as long as I sort out money soon!! Unfortunately with the successful takeover of my car my a rogue immobiliser (grr) more saved money has gone straight down the pan (well...to the RAC man atleast!) Leaving me as broke as ever and having to pull out of the roleplay event that I had been really looking forward to in mid-Oct.
Love to all on an arthur flare


5/9/04 22.28 Top five songs for my life

Crash Test Dummies-God Shuffled his feet
Mike and the Mechanics - The Living Years
Nirvana - Come as you are
Good Riddance - Green Day
Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden


5/9/04 Sitting at Sarah's computer up in Manchester whilst she is whiling away the hours working up at the airport this morning! Since leaving work at 5ish on Friday night, with a slight detour chatting to Anthony and acquiring matchbox20/tabitha's secret cd's to make my journey that much better, i found every set of roadworks between there and here and spent the vast majority sitting at 40mph singing along to the new cd's! So much for Autoroute's "3hours and 1 minute"... 5hours later (or 4hrs 53mins after getting on the M25 car park) I pulled into Sarah's drive!! What is it with getting lost and using a map that wakes you up! Either way Sarah and I ended up sitting up chatting and having a rather late dinner!! Yesterday, we went into Manchester central and I got to do a practise run at being a tourist! I had forgotten my camera (due to being the muppet that I am) and bought a disposable which has now been treated to many aspects of the cow parade and several strange buildings and contrasts that I have found photo worthy, including people writing on the walls of the cinema. (Perfectly normal...) I've been to see Motorcycle Diaries (which is an account of Che Guevara's trip around latin America on a beat-up motorbike- absolutely amazing, and really inspiring, even if I hadn't wanted to travel already, this would have sealed my fate) and got to meet a friend of Sarahs, Emma, who has just returned from Rome!! Exciting times and I can't help but notice what a time of reflection I still am in. Enjoy it, what's the point in any other choice?!
Current ditty: You have to go there to come back
...Well, you can sit and figure out what that means...


2/9/04 Prancing around as a happy sun baby!

Work computers hate me today. Making my job bore me even more by making sure that I sit there and actually can't do anything! I was told that I don't exist and I should go back and try again! By 3pm still no entry and ended up heading home to sit in the sun and carry on reading Sophie's Choice. Oh and see if Dr had any more news, but she still doesn't even have my notes!!
Breaks and passports
Currently looking at hostels in Pisa, like this one. Though it looks like there may only be about half a weeks worth to look round...maybe i will get that train up to Rome. Methinks I need to learn a bit of italian...and maybe get hold of a tent!?! FUN! :D


1/9/04 See a date counts as a date. Lunch doesn't count as a date!! My workmates still don't buy it.But hey, important people agree, so ner!


30/08/04 Today I am stuck in bed coated in lovely bandages to try and sooth the aching joints. I spent friday and saturday resting in preparation. Yesterday was Reading Festival and I had decided I was going to go and grit my teeth for a day of standing around. I did it! Occasionally sitting in the mud to rest my aching legs I survived and enjoyed! Now wrapped up and hardly able to walk I think of what it is to be stubborn (probably more than you should) and ignore the pain as much as is humanly possible for an event you really want. To sum it up? soooo worth it!
Lost Prophets are brilliant, Placebo are right up there and Green Day are absolutely amazing! The Streets surprised me and I found myself quite enjoying them. Eastern Lane, hitherto unheard of to me, gave a good start to the day whilst lying in the radio 1 tent!
Good company made this all the better :)


25/8/04 Ok, Arthur really should be taken out and shot! Now if only I knew how to do that! I should be able to go to the whole of reading festival weekend now (How bouncy am i now?!) Really hoping limbs are gonna improve so i can literally bounce about rather than limping around like I am now. Really unimpressed!
Likelyhood is I'll just take it that I have Monday off to recover and push myself anyway. Tho I might dig up the super painkillers..
Lost Prophets on Sunday! Ash and Offspring on Fri! Why is it only Weds?! Oh cos I need more time to pack.?..ok!




24/8/04 AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Thank you!
Been getting ribbing from work ppl on the question of what makes up a date and what doesn't. Turns out I don't have a clue! Oh well!
Otherwise updating website and singing random Green Day, Lost Prophets and Placebo songs!! (Guess which bands I can't wait to see on Sunday!?!)
Movie quote of the week: "you're a handsome young man, what's your name?" - I should really get that out of my head before it gets me in trouble!
21/8/04 Went to 'The Egg' in London last night with a few of my Swansea friends and had a really good night out! Absolutely shattered now though! Met some new people, which is always nice and think I'll be keeping in touch with them! Am now stuck singing Lost Prophets songs and can't wait for next weekend when I get to go and see them at Reading!!!
Current mood: Pensive, but knackered!

What Kind of Geek are You?
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Your IQ is frighteningly high
You are a physics geek
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Normal people think that you are deranged
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15/8/04 Had a lovely time in Swansea and got to see a few of the lovely people I miss so much! Bit weird to come back so soon though!
Currently listening to: Evanescence
Currently reading: Sophie's Choice


12/8/04 Alice's Birthday! - Happy Birthday Alice!!

Got a new book today - 'Before you go'by Tom Griffiths. I've read three books in the last week!! 'Before you Go' is a guide to gap year travelling and i think that's the direction I'm heading for at the moment. But who knows, the wondrous problem of money is what it comes down to..although the graduate loan is becoming appealing!
Spent the early evening down the pub with my dad and brothers playing pool, which was fun! Think I need to practise a lil bit more though!
Watched Dawsons Creek (yes i can hear you all moaning from here! - tough!) It's weird the things that can get you thinking.
Health and happiness to you all.


9/8/04 As Arthur progresses more, I learn to roll with the punches. Roll to where is always where the problem lies and very occasionally i find myself rolling straight into a brick wall, but generally I'm trying and that's what matters.Today is not a good arthur day. My joints are screaming at me whatever I am doing and it is one of those days where I don't even want to drive, but I work now and so I get into the car, drive on and grit my teeth. I keep seeing more job offers abroad at the moment, but at a bare minimum I need more medical supplies to look at that, and preferable would be to actually have some kind of clue on how I would be affected. C'est la vie mes amis...c'est la vie!
Achy, but movin on!
7/8/04 Still restless. China temporarily on hold due to wanting slightly more funds, plus the dr won't be able to get back to me with info for a while. I wld have 2 pay 4 my medication over there though...thats alot of money!!! I have however had some teaching references through and am finding myself contemplating a career that I really never thought i would. I have agreed to work at my current workplace til the end of Sept which should hopefully make an indent on my o/draft and i'll be able to start anew somewhere. I have also applied for several more jobs. Still nada on any of those jobs through post or e-mail though.. oh well.


4/8/04 Hannam's Birthday - Happy Birthday Chris!
Car is back! Woohoo! MOT sorted and only really really poor now! Hmm....
Got offered 12 month contract today. Undecided :s
current mood: Knackered
currently listening to: Norah Jones


3/8/04 I wanna THUNDERSTORM!
..Go ahead..ask me how my day went... No? Oh good!
1)The Car
MOT and service today. Bugger. Now I know the exhaust needs (needed) work, that went on Sunday and I could tell. I do have some ability with cars you know! HOWEVER, I was really hoping to spend less than £400..and definitely less than £500!! But no. My car is still at Doc's autos whilst the attack and rebuild my car for no less than half or its original cost to be last year. Impressed? Good.
2)The Job applications
Hahahahahahahaha! I suppose I really should have sent off some more by now. I have these ones here on my desk to send off... I can't be *that* tired in the eves now can I?!
3)The China thing...
Yeeeeeees. Actually to be fair, this isn't going that bad. Following instructions from the e-mail I got on the 27th I have now written (e-mailed) three people to ask for references I can use to get a post. (Why the wait since the 27th? Well, for one I was waiting for a letter in the post they mentioned in the mail, but then I realised it's coming from Canada, may be some time, and I may as well get on with sorting this stuff, it can't do me any harm to be prepared for possibilities. Secondly, there's the Arthur worry; Arthritis is my complete pain in the *&*^%. I would have to sort out meds and wear and tear, and possible effects. This could prove to be a bit of a bugger. Sooo I'm going to see the Dr.
But hey, I say always have a positive outlook until reality hits, so stuff it! I'm gonna collect together my application stuff anyway!! Thhhhhhhhhhhbt!!

Current mood: Achy, tired, Restless, yet motivated... :S !!
Currently listening to: Pink



2/8/04 Rob's Birthday!! -Happy Birthday Rob!
First day of work. It went okay actually, the people there are lovely. I haven't yet been on the phones though. At the end of the day I got a phone call from one of the job agencies offering me a job interview too! (Temp to perm.) I've said go for it.Quite like the sound of it!
I think I'm still going to apply for China anyway and see what gets said though.
Currently listening to: Magnolia Soundtrack


1/8/04 Random Day!!! Happy August!
Awake at five and bored! Therefore, by 8.30 i had decided i wanted to go out for a drive somewhere, anywhere. ..In retrospect it's probably just as well i start the temp job tomorrow, that's prob what kept me in the UK in the end!!
I did however make it to the Cotswolds, sat and read in the sun for the remainder of the morning, then met up with Tizzy in her hometown of Nailsworth and sat and had a drink with her at the Egypt Mill, a local restaurant/pub /16th century mill (very pretty and relaxed!) Fun! I'm back in Sandhurst in time for a BBQ for dinner!
Tomorrow, first day at temping job. Ooh!

Current mood: restless
Currently listening to: the radio


31/07/04 Vicki's Birthday
RE:China, Spoken to bank who say that there would be no problems with maintaining overdraft etc if I go.They don't have branches over there so I would have to sort something else for whilst I'm actually over there, but as far as they're concerned, il n'y a pas de probleme!! Brilliant. After exploring climate details of China and looks like my top three places to go would be Shanghai, Nanjing or Xiamen.Nanjing looks to be a really interesting place to be based, though Xiamen looks to be warmer.. Looks fairly likely that i'll pull my finger out and apply for this..in fact I am only awaiting the details through the (snail mail) post-but it has to make it all the way from Canada.

Current mood: Intrigued!
Currently listening to: Linkin Park - Meteora


30/07/04 As if by magic..milkround has sent me a link about working abroad and getting TEFL certification.(TEFL =Teaching English as a Foreign Language.)They've also sent me a 20% off thing.Valid til tomorrow. I'll take that as a cue to decide.Footprints seems to offer work in warmer parts of China but doesn't give me all the teaching materials.This is the only one where a TEFL course would make a noticable difference to my confidence really.
Also as if to respond, my knees have taken off to the other side of the planet and are kicking up a fuss. Unimpressed! Though to be fair in the mix up of the move etc I had about a week without my medication and the only stuff I have at the mo is a fair bit weaker than what I was on..bleargh!
Appt with Dr is next week to discuss possibilities (and get more meds!!!) and i think i'll pop into Barclays tom. Natwest offers a really good graduate travel deal, but Barclays, at least as far as i can see online, doesn't offer quite so much. :s Question of the day: Will banks barter with their deals?
Current mood: Wilted in the sun!
Currently listening to: Pink - Try this


29/07/04 Today I saw a lady in a small hut in the middle of the road with a fishing net!! What's more Tizzy saw her too! Blame Pangbourne!
Professional photos are up from the grad ball and have got a mail back from footprints, they could send me to Shanghai maybe, but I would have to come up with some lesson plans if I went through them! Waiting for details through the post atm
Met up with Anna at Rackstraws and had a good catch up session! Even saw Wiggy, who I used to work with at Safeways many moons ago! Random, but good fun!!
Current mood: Overheated
Currently listening to: Stereophonics - Just Looking

28/07/04 Nifti's Birthday!! - Happy Birthday Nooreen!!
Spoke to contact at Yawee about China. Turns out I don't have to pay all that money to apply. I would have to pay to get out there..but then they would pay me back.I would be in Hebei if I went. It now looks actually possible.*Aah!* That means now is the time to look seriously at all the sideline issues. Bank would need to be spoken to about lack of o/d payments. More problematically research into weather says that Hebei is freezing in winter. This might be fine for a normal person without arthritis..but i am not one of those people. Winters in England have caused me a stupid volume of problems and so I must look at how I might fare in a country colder than England. :s I do get a health check before I would go. I could organise with a dr maybe for medication provisions...they were willing when i was going to be going to France.The question remains as to how I would do though and if it's a risk I'm willing to take. Stupid Arthur is a big-ol'-pain-in-the-..well..joints!! Only additional point is that g'parents are getting on a bit and would i be ok if i possibly couldn't travel back if they're seriously ill. Aaaaah! Watch my head go round and round. The thing is I think my main current problem is only with that weather/Arthur thing, the other stuff could be worked around I would think. Decisions decisions!
On another note, I met up with Hetal from school today! Really nice to catch up and natter! So weird to be back in Sandhurst. She's having the same problems as me with parents expanding into her bedroom and her having nowhere to put everything too!! 's good to hear I'm not the only one!!

Current mood: Indecisive
Currently listening to: Essential Soundtracks


27/07/04 Temp job to continue paying off overdraft sorted and starting next week. Three weeks work. Good!
Applying to go to China...not going so good.
Actually looked seriously at apps information. They all seem to like the phrase "program fees"..not sure if i like the sound of that! Sent off for information from a few Footprints recruiting site, Global Crossroad site and CIEE site. After much reviewing, the yawee site wanted to charge me a non-refundable $90 to apply, let alone the additional ~$390 once given a placement, plus will have to pay for flights. I think CIEE wants to charge me something like £1000, but that includes the flights. So far, it looks like footprints is the only one not going to charge me (as much as I've seen) and should reimburse me for the flight costs and pay slightly more for the teaching part. Jeez this is tiring!!!
On a lighter note, I bumped into Anna Barreiro-Silvey (who's surname I still can't spell) at Tesco and we're meeting up for a drink later in the week to catch up! Am also meeting up with Hetal who I rediscovered on msn the other day, she has also just returned to the realms of the parental home! It'll be good to catch up with them both!
Oh and just to finish it off, I've just remembered car tax, MOT and insurance are due in the next week! Just as well I've sorted that temp job! The money's already gone!!
Knackeredness prevailing, i shall continue on!
Current mood: Frustration at the word "Fees"
Currently listening to: Sarah MacLaughlin

26/07/04 Another day, another application form! Went shopping with Amy to escape from thoughts of money! There's way too many birthdays on at the moment! Means I end up spending money!..On the plus side, we ended up walking around Woking and depleting its store of Millies Cookies (N.B.To anyone who doesn't know, Millies Cookies are possibly the best in the world!-In my opinion anyway!)
Am growing bored of application forms, but I don't think that matters to them! Deciding whether or not disability factors in this thing and what I should say when people ask about it. Arthritis is a right ba***rd sometimes. Not implying discrimination, but surely people are nervous of how I'll complete the tasks.Even I have had my moments during the last few years of adjustment.Although I believe (*touch wood*) I know my limitations now and would be fine to carry on pretty much as normal in a place of work. Mind you I have just been handed Strawberries and Cream so the world can't be that bad!
Current mood: Ennuyeux et Fatigue
Currently listening to: Sarah MacLaughlin


25/07/04 Met Rob and one of his mates from Uni for a pub lunch today - King George pub in Earley is quite nice, but don't believe them if they say 15minutes for lunch! An hour after we ordered we finally ate :( !
On another count am, in theory, working through the thousands (not far off!) of boxes of my stuff I have stored in our lounge. It is my fun duty to unpack and try to find places to put the stuff..unfortunately I have not yet found these places, so my room is taken over with boxes moved from the lounge. *FUN!*

On plus side I've finally sat down to look at my friend Naomi's website and edit it around for her! Gordon Bennett I hate FrontPage! Ended up going back to code for practically everything! Oh well! All done now and soon Exteria clothing will be on its feet!
Cya!
Current mood: Satisfied after a job well done
Currently listening to: Evanescence


24/07/04 Still taking my breaks in the garden with my books! Woo!
Otherwise from that I am enjoying my new membership on Fanstory.com, where I have been reviewing and posting poetry. Yay! This, I can get used to!
Finally received job application pack for job in Walsall, was supposedly sent Tuesday or Wednesday :S, Now I just have to fill it in and send it back (..and get an interview, and do well there, and get hired and move there.........)
Ah well!!
Current mood: Sunbaby!
Currently listening to: Cranberries

23/07/04 Surprisingly, I've been out job searching again! Somewhat more surprising, I might have found something to get some money in for a couple of weeks! I shall just have to await the call from Index to find out! It's only a helpdesk post for three weeks, but hey, even if I do this China thing, I'm sure I am meant to have cleared my evil student overdraft!!
Applied for three more permie jobs online today too. Cardiff, Reading and erm....somewhere I didn't know where it was, but as it looks good and i'll move pretty much anywhere for a good job at the mo, that's fine.
Additionally it's lovely weather, which means I get to take my breaks from the PC sitting outside, reading 'A Prayer for Owen Meany' in the bright sunshine, with strawberry splits and music on in the background! - Job hunting isn't too bad in these moments!
I've also decided that the Post Office hates me! :( Unimpressed with this sentiment as it so far, to my knowledge, has delayed four letters of interest, mainly job application packs, especially for the one I had wanted to send back by the end of today!!! Hmmm...... *grumble grumble grumble..* Oh well!
Scarily Simon has joined Daniel today and they have now both passed their theory tests this week! Now I've been in the car with them, so i can safely say ruuuuuuuuuuun!!!!!!!!!! ...It's not really that bad, but the next practical test dates aren't until October. This means that I will be taking them out driving a lot between now and then...hence my sentiment!I've been out a fair bit with them this week though and it is nice to see them noticeably improve with a bit of practice!Ah well!
Anyway, that's quite enough of that, so onwards and upwards!! See ya soon!
Current mood: Pensive
Currently listening to:
Crash Test Dummies - God Shuffled his Feet


21/07/04 Job searching again, but have got information back on possibly going to teach English in China. (www.yawee.com) It's a great opportunity, i've just got to decide if I want to go! China is a reeeeeaaally long way away. On the other hand, this may be one of the few points in my life where I have no commitments here :S Gould knows! (Maybe I can ask him?!)
Thought for the day is not to ask others for answers to questions I don't know! "42" won't get me anywhere!
Current mood: Fickle
Currently listening to:
No Doubt - Underneath It All


20/07/04 Aaah! Ahem...I AM job searching. Honest. Well I've also added another page worth of poems. I found my old poetry book, what was I meant to do?!
Technically, I have found some interesting jobs to apply for. In fact lots of work people keep e-mailing me links, which I am loving! It just doesn't feel like it!
Ah well I'll get there one day people.

19/07/04 Finally put this thing online!! You wouldn't BELIEVE how long that has taken me to do!
Made the concious decision to (a) Update my poems pages, and (b) Try and get them published somewhere :S Scary!
This is also my first day back in Sandhurst! Very odd. So far I am keeping myself pre-occupied as much as possible with job searching (and indeed applications) and updating my website so that it makes sense!
Still absolutely knackered from the last two weeks of goodbyes and goodbye drinks, but glad to finally have a rest!
27/06/04 I only have two weeks left of work!! Aargh! Working on the cv today then handing out tomorrow i guess!! On the plus side, being committed to a job says a lot, on the minus side, time for planning ahead could be useful! Oh well...i need a rest! This week I am home, using up my remaining holiday to start taking my stuff home, drop my car down here and prepare for my last two weeks living in Swansea

12/6/04 Thhhhhhbt to the UKIP. Unimpressed at the country today for voting itself away from Europe and away from the endless possibilities of helping our businesses expand. Fingers crossed that people will realise their mistakes as this goes on and that it won't damage the country too much!


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