Hey hey, it's ASK FRENCHTOAST! Here, you can ask the lovable little French breakfast food your most burning questions and listen to his heavily accented solutions! Unfortunately, my carefully-drawn rendition of the lovable little guy might not come up on your computer, but rest assured that he's perfectly adorable. If you've got a question for Frenchtoast, e-mail him at lily264@hotmail.com...
Monsieur le fier americain, c'est les gens comme toi qui je n'aime pas. Tu as peur de ce que tu ne comprends pas. Tu as vraiment l'esprit etroit. Or, to put it zimply- you, good zir, are a moron.
Ma Cherie, I am tres flattered by your gracious invitation. I would love to go to prom avec toi. Ca serait mon plaisir! Zat is, of course, if you don't mind my being a piece of toast. Mais oui, if a couple can overcome zat, zey can overcome anything! A bientot, mon ange!
Chere Upset- Coffee mug holder? Oh, la la! Perhaps it's better for people like vous not to worry about ze cd-rom. Just think of ze big screen-looking boxy thing as a tres expensive paperweight. Oh- and P.S.: Possiblement you should stop drinking zo much coffee.
Chere VP of STARES- Oui oui, I am indeed acquainted with zis excellent group. For zose of you who have not heard of it, STARES stands for "Students Taking Action to Remove Evil Squirrels" and ze members are quite involved with anti-squirrel action in local areas as well as on nearby college campuses. For zose of you who are interested in membership, drop my excellent Webmistress a line. As I understand, she will also soon be creating a section of ze Squirrelden devoted entirely to STARES affairs. Vive le revolution anti-ecureuil!
Chere Confused- Why should you trust MOI? Mon petit, I will tell you- because I am much more intelligent than YOU, obviously. Questioning my advice? BAH!
ChereA.S.P.F.- I special-order les bottes roses at Elo5die's Used Footwear and Drive-Thru Sushi Emporium. Zey have a wide selection of shoes, and ze sashimi- c'est magnifique!
Chere Penguin- Je ne sais pas when that day will come, but I know it will be glorious, with people dancing in ze streets and ze wonderful melodies of ze single-stringed qua to be heard everywhere. Ah, I am as anxious as you are.
ChereJoeLover- Ah, l'amour... I don't know if Joe ze Squirrel is open to inter-species dating, but why don't you two do lunch and see how it goes. Bonne chance!
Chere Frightened- Why is Susan zo odd? Well, as ze French zay, je ne sais pas. But I zink it has somesing to do with ze fact zat she ate a lot of toothpaste as a child...