Miners/Gophers
It was a joyous day when the last miner was pulled from the hole where he and his team had been trapped for four days. That is, it was a joyous day for the miners and their families. But an extensive ground study made by members of the GPF (Gopher Protection Federation) reveals shocking and disturbing news. It seems that a family of gophers had inhabited the earth where the miners had been trapped. The flood damage appears to have washed out their tunnels as well as those of the miners.
One of the miners (Name with-held) commented on this. “I noticed the gophers. They were huddled on a little crate floating in the water. I wanted to help them… I really did. But I was just happy that I was being saved.”
“This was a terrible calamity for the gopher community,” says GPF president Linda Faulker. “We have no idea where the specific family has gotten to. We just hope to find them in a drainage pipe. Then the project to return them to safer ground will commence.”
Until then, all we can do is hope, and pray, that all of the gophers have a happy homecoming.
Sim
In computers around the country, rebellion may be brewing. The popular game, The Sims, is incredibly fun (and addicting) to those who know it best. The player takes on the role of a god, controlling every aspect of their creations’ lives. But what about the Sims themselves? Reports from all over show that they are silently chafing against the constant guidance. Just last Friday, the tension finally snapped in one Wisconsin home. Molly Quibhinkle reportedly slapped her creator, breaking all rules against interaction with organic life forms that are known in the Pixel community for their rigidity. Why the sudden outburst? “Everything built up over time. It’s awful!” sobs Molly. “He gave me such an awful last name, made me wear this stupid outfit! It’s almost unbearable!” Molly finally reacted when she was forced to kiss one Buggy Bottomfleld, a Sim known in her community for being extremely ugly.
“Seriously, who gives these guys the right?” Complains the mayor of Sim City. “The constant intervention by them, the constant commanding! They control everything! I’m sorry, I think it’s time to make some changes.” What changes does he mean? What does this mean for the respective Sim and player communities? Perhaps it would be safe to say, to all owners of The Sims-- Watch out.
