Disembodied Voice: LIVE FROM HQ (Harry Quill and/or HeadQuarters [don't ask]), IT'S THE … THE … hey, what are you guys calling this thing, anyway?
Shelti: Good question. What SHOULD it be named?
Stick: *shrugs* You're the Spirit, you should know.
Shelti: Hmm … I know! How about … The Huggbees Show!
Stick: The HUGGBEES SHOW? Where'd you come up with that?
Shelti: It's fun to say. Just say it, it'll make you happy! Huggbees!!
Stick: And that has nothing to do with the show, you know.
Stick: *sighs* Okay, whatever. But I'm not sure I want to know the theme song.
Shelti: *breaks into song*
I LIKE pink fluffy bunnies!
Pink fluffy bunnies are CUTE!
Yay PINK FLUFFY BUNNIES!!
*stops singing* How's that?
Stick: o.O Oooookaaaaaay (although that's not really a song)… and I will say what the show's about. It's not about huggbees (whatever that is) or pink fluffy bunnies. In this show (another blatant spin-off of The Pencil Show), we take random Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings/Star Wars/His Dark Materials/fanfics/Sponge…bob…Square…pants… SHELTIGRRL!!!
Shelti: *innocently* What?
Stick: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS??
Shelti: Yeah! What's wrong with Spongebob Squarepants? He's yellow, and square, and he's a sponge! And he wears square pants! And Patrick is cute! I like cheese!!
Stick: Uh… kaaaaayy… o.O. Well, we take random characters from above movies/books/television shows/fanfictions and…
Shelti: FORCE THEM TO REVEAL THEIR MOST HIDIOUS SECRETS!!!!!
Stick: *consults list* Okay, on today's episode, please welcome Harry Potter!
*random people drag out Harry Potter and plunk him in a chair*
Shelti: HARRY!!!!! EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! *hugs him* You're so CUTE!!
Harry: o.O. Where am I?
Stick: Welcome to The Huggbees Show, where we ask you questions, and you are obligated to answer.
Harry: And if I don't?
Stick: YOU WILL FEEL MY WRATH!!
Harry: *jumps* *meekly* Okaaaaay…
Shelti: Our first question comes from me. How do you feel about Draco?
Harry: I hate him! He's a jerk! I thought that was obvious.
Shelti: Well, they say people who fight all the time actually like each other.
Harry: Ack! No! Not in my case, anyway.
Shelti: You mean you're not gay?
Harry: I! AM! NOT! GAY! Besides, I think Malfoy's got something going on with Snape.
Stick: Draco Malfoy and SNAPE??
Both: BAD MENTAL IMAGE BAD MENTAL IMAGE BAD MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!
Stick: Well, I'm scarred for life.
Shelti: I'm … so … glad … you're not gay. I never thought so, and I wanted to get that out in the open. I HATE SLASH! *random slash fic appears in front of her* AUGHHHHH!!!! KILL THE SLASH!!!!!!!!!! *jumps on the fic and tears it to peices*
Harry: Is this normal behavior for her?
Stick: *nods* Yup. Our next question comes from … woah. Shelt, how'd you get someone to send in a question? It's the first episode.
Shelti: ^_^ I have connections.
Stick: I guess I don't wanna know. Anyway, the next question comes from Leap_of_Fate, who asks, "Is Sirius taken?"
Harry: How should I know? I hardly see him, let alone know much about his personal life.
Stick: Good point.
Shelti: For my next question: Is your middle name really James, or is that a false rumor?
Harry: I don't know. I guess. I didn't realize I had a middle name.
Stick: Um … you didn't?
Shelti: *mouth drops* You don't know your own NAME??
Harry: Not my full name, just my middle one.
Shelti: WELL, I'll fix THAT! If you didn't have a middle name before, you do now. And if your middle name wasn't James before, it is now. Can't argue with that.
Harry: I can't?
Stick: No. She's an authoress and an omnipotent Spirit.
Shelti: My word is LAW!! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!!!!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs around in circles screaming and laughing evilly until she runs into a wall* Uhh … heh heh … anyway, next question.
Shelti: The next question is: Does Stick look like Voldemort?
Harry: *looks closely at Stick* Yes.
Stick: *indignantly* I do NOT!
Shelti: *giggles* You do! In a way.
Stick: I DO NOT!!!!!!
Shelti: It's the eyes.
Stick: *sobs* Just because my eyes are red doesn't mean I look like an evil overlord!
Shelti: Well, in your case, it may be because your dad IS an evil overlord.
Stick: *stops crying* Oh yeah. But I'm prettier than Voldemort.
Stick: For our next question, do you like Ginny or Hermione?
Shelti: Because we all know you broke up with Cho.
Harry: Why should I tell you?
Stick: Because I am the daughter of Sauron, that's why.
Harry: Who's Sauron?
Shelti: Another evil overlord.
Harry: Oh. So what?
Harry: Well, I just won't tell you who I like. That's classified.
Shelti: Ooooh … classified.
Harry: Is that a good sign?
Harry: *is scared*
Shelti: Harry, if you were on a desert island with Hermione, Ginny, and Draco Malfoy, and there was no more food, who would you eat first?
Shelti: Who would you eat next?
Harry: Why are you asking me THAT? I refuse to answer.
Stick: Aw, come on, answer.
Shelti: Answer for us, please?
Both: ANSWER THE QUESTION OR FEEL OUR WRATH!!! *room shakes*
Harry: *cowers* *quietly* Hermione.
Shelti: So you would save the woman you love?
Harry: I never said that. It's just … Ginny's cool, and …
Stick: Second-to-last question. Do you like Ron?
Harry: As a friend.
Stick: I mean beyond that.
Harry: NO! Besides, I like Ginny … oh crap.
Stick: *looking at Shelti* Oh dear.
Shelti: *runs around in circles screaming* I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT *continues in same manner*
Stick: *smacks Shelti* Shut up and ask the last question.
Shelti: Fine, fine. Harry, can you say "huggbees" for us? It'll make you feel happy! Just say it! HUGGBEES!!!!
Shelti: *hugs him* YAY! You're the coolest.
Stick: This wasn't so bad, was it?
Harry: *looking at Shelti* For the most part.
Stick: Okay! Arf, could you do the honors?
Arfindel the Elf: *walks onstage* (I can't believe I'm doing this…) *monotone* Sheltigrrl Moonfire and Stick, penname Aspiring Elf Girl, do not own Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, His Dark Materials, Star Wars, Spongebob Squarepants, or any characters from fanfics that aren't theirs. The people who wrote these things do. Above fanwriters Sheltigrrl Moonfire and Stick own themselves and HQ. The Pencil Show, which this show is a spin-off of, belongs to Hikaness and Doodles, the original writers of it. Find Hika's website, The Cardboard Box, at . All remaining rights reserved. Can I go now?
Shelti: No, you still have to explain the question thing.
Arfindel: *sighs* Because of fanfiction.net's review policy, we ask that you do not use the review system to send in questions. Rather, if you want to send in questions at all, e-mail them to Sheltigrrl Moonfire at email@example.com. Regular reviews are very, very, very much appreciated and loved. Thank you for your cooperation.
Shelti: Yay Arf! *hugs him* You can go now.
Arfindel: Thank Eru. *walks off, muttering things like "This is so embarrassing…"*
Stick: What's with him?
Shelti: Dunno. I need to find James, he'd do it much more happily.
Stick: Yup. Oh well, join us next time people, when we bring on Obi-Wa-
Shelti: *whispers something in Stick's ear*
Stick: Oh. Okay, then. Change of plan! Next time, our guest will be Anakin Skywalker! So send Shelti your questions for him!! Bye!
Shelti: BYE-BYE!! And don't forget…
Both: SAY A "HUGGBEES" EVERYDAY!!!!!!