Shelti: New fandom today, boys.
Jahari: Oh, goody.
Shelti: Artemis Fowl this time.
Screech: ...Artemis Fowl? The one with the LEPrecons?
Screech: And this is a Suefic?
Shelti: Yep yep yep.
Jahari: To be expected, I suppose.
Snapdragon: *in the projection booth* Ready?
Shelti: Roll 'er!
Snapdragon: Ten-four, good buddy!
(The fic rolls.)
This my first ever fic. on Artemis Fowl.
Jahari: *blink* Random period...
I've also just read the two books recently but I loved it in an instant!
Shelti: ^_^ Me too.
Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Artemis Fowl and any of it's characters.
Screech: *monotone* Wow. Jee. Never would have guessed.
Poena is obviously mine.
Screech: XD THERE's an unfortunate name...
And no flames please!
Jahari: They're so cute when they're naive.
"_" are speech
'_' are thoughts
Shelti: *spazzes* I hate it when people do this! WE CAN TELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Screech: A barbed wire fence. Shelti: Keeping the fic in and us out? Jahari: Keeping everyone in. Shelti: Nuuuu... Screech: You put it up. Shelti: The authoress did. Jahari: Shut up and read. Unable to Love Again
Screech: *gasp* He's a eunuch!
Shelti: My face. ~_~
Artemis Fowl kept his eyes on the book he was reading.
Shelti: He had to glue them on, because they kept rolling off. Eyes roll, you know.
But his mind was somewhere else.
Jahari: Where? We don't want to know....
He had just received the news that Captain Holly Short has just been engaged... to Captain Trouble.
Jahari: *spaz* TENSE CHANGE! x_x;
(A/N: Is he a captain? If he's not, sorry. I forgot if he was/wasn't.)
All: He is.
Artemis shifted in his chair. He's already eighteen years old.
Shelti: Oh, of course, he's of marrying age...
He has grown considerably.
Screech: Good to know...
His mother had been forcing him to interact with people from his age group but it just wasn't his cup of tea.
Shelti: Of course not! It's mine. ^_^ *gasp* ARTEMIS STOLE MY TEA. GIVE IT BACK, ARTY.
As he grew, he also realized that he had been feeling something different.
Shelti: His pants.
Jahari: His scales... which suddenly appeared.
Screech: His [censored].
He had also began seeing Captain Holly Short in a new light.
Shelti: A green one!
Jahari: She's radioactive?
He already thought of her as attractively pretty but as he grew, he noticed that she was irrisistably beautiful.
Actually, she still is in his opinion. Jahari: *twitch*
'But Trouble just had to win her before I even tried... Winning her should have been the most brilliant plan I have ever made...'
Shelti: Good grief, it sounds like she was a video game or something. Or a prize in a ringtoss.
Artemis raised his head from the book
Screech: Oo; He DID glue his eyes to the book!
Shelti: That would hurt.
and in front of him stood Butler... his butler but more of a bodyguard. Butler was also his friend and companion.
Screech: Wink wink, nudge nudge.
Shelti: EW. Screech, don't DO that.
"What is it?" Artemis asked.
Jahari: Trust me... you don't want to know.
"Your mother wishes to see you," Butler said tonelessly.
Shelti: *blink* Butler the robot...
Artemis placed his book down and stood up. He sighed deeply.
Jahari: ...inhaling the toxic fumes coming from the open window. He suffocated and was poisoned all at once, and he DIED.
Screech: Okay then.
He knew this was going to be about attending another social event.
All: *monotone* Gasp.
Shelti: ^^ Swirly.
A girl about Artemis' age leaned back on the couch she was in.
Screech: (girl) Hey, I found the remote!
She was stroking a beautiful cat.
Shelti: ^^ Well, naturally, ALL cats are beautiful.
People would usually think of this as normal but there was something not ordinary.
Shelti: Just smile and nod...
The cat didn't look like usual cats.
Shelti: It was PINK!
Jahari: (Elle Woods) Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.
It was very beautiful and it had a blood red stone on it's forehead.
Shelti: Artemis Fowl – the anime version.
It purred as the girl stroked it.
"Look Poena," the girl said to the cat.
Screech: XD Who names their CAT "Poena"?
A huge screen showed a large image of...
Shelti: A bunny!
Shelti: She's a STALKER.
The girl smiled. "We'll see how good this boy is."
Jahari: Breakdancing! Do the worm...
Angelina Fowl stood in the centre of a huge room.
Jahari: Right underneath the chandelier. It fell on top of her and she DIED.
Shelti: Feeling morbid today?
Jahari: Just a little.
"Artemis, dear, listen. The two of us are going to attend a party later on..."
Screech: (Artemis) Will there be drinks?
Artemis sighed mentally. He knew it. He just knew it.
Shelti: Bit of a routine, there, eh?
"...and as to honour tradition, you shall chose a fiancee there."
Shelti: Woah... just had the same reaction there. Weeeird...
The look Angelina gave didn't stop Artemis from gaping. He's just eighteen years old and he's going to chose a soon-to-be wife now?!
Jahari: *twitchy* Random tense switches!
He hasn't even recovered from the 'Captain Holly Short' incident yet!
Shelti: Oh, so first she's a prize, now she's just an incident? DID YOU LOVE HER OR WAS SHE JUST SOME CHEAP FUCK? EH? EH?!? Male chauvinistic pigs...
Both boys: O_O;
"You heard me Artemis," Angelina said gravely, knowing where this would go to.
Shelti: The grave?
Jahari: BECAUSE SHE DIED. MUWAHAHA.
"It's tradition in our family and some of the other... 'fortunate'... families.
Screech: Note how "fortunate" is in quotes there... Angeline doesn't think much of her son, does she?
I'm sure that all the girls are going to be lovely."
Screech: No boys? Aww.
Artemis stood stiffly.
Shelti: (Artemis, a la Spider-man) My back! My back!
He knew girls from... 'fortunate'... families.
Screech: There it is again.
He *doesn't* like them either.
But he knew complaining won't help. His mother had one of those looks that meant her decision will not be changed. Not even a clever plan might get him out of this.
Shelti: So he goes to the ball. There we go. Moving on.
It is one of those rare times wherein Artemis Fowl the Second felt helpless.
Shelti: That has so many implications I don't even want to THINK about it.
Seeing that his mother was waiting, he said," Mother, do I have to make the decision tonight?"
Screech: ...maybe so.
His mother's eyes softened a bit. "Of course not dear. You try meeting as much girls as you can tonight.
Screech: ...^_~ Whoo!
Shelti: -_-; You're HOPELESS.
Think it over and there would be another get- together. You have to make a decision there and act fast. There would be other young men there too."
Jahari: Well, as long as it's not Artemis/Butler or Artemis/Root, I'm happy.
Artemis wanted to groan. Just his luck. If he was too slow in chosing, he might end up with an ugly and snobbish girl.
Shelti: *blink* Huh? How?
But he would just do this anyway for the sake of marriage, not love. His heart was already taken away by a certain elf.
Shelti: (Holly) AHAHA! IT'S MY HEART! ALL MINE!!!
"What time do we go?" Artemis asked helplessly.
Jahari: >=D Foreshadowing!
"We leave at 6:00," Angelina said, smiling. 'And I have a person in mind for you my dear Arty.'
Screech: There's that barbed wire fence again.
Shelti: o_o; Meep.
Please be nice! As I said, this is my first fic. on Artemis Fowl and I have just recently read the two books. This is also only the thrid fanfic. I have ever written so no flames please!
Jahari: *snort* Like THAT'll ever happen.
Kore Yan ^_^
Shelti: ...*twitchy twitch*