Jahari: ...something wrong?
Shelti: No, everything's fine! A picnic! God, I could just KILL HIM...
Aku: ^_^ Oh, well, glad to hear that.
Shelti: *sigh* Oh, what a day. First, I couldn't find Tom to be the projector guy. When I did, he was in the bunny suit, and wouldn't be the projector guy unless we got him out of it. Well, the zipper got stuck. And you KNOW what stuck zippers are like. So, I had to go searching for Snap to be projector girl instead, and that took a while. Ugh – so much to go through for my art.
Jahari: Right. Can we just get on with it?
Shelti: ^_^ Right-o! *calls up* Roll 'er, Snap!
(The fic begins.)
The Snowy White Seer
Aku: An eyeball in a bag of flour.
Jahari: Another "I don't know what I am" name.
1. The Embarrasing Begining
Jahari: No kidding – especially when she can't spell "embarrassing" or "beginning" right.
I walked down the Great Hall,
Shelti: And blew up! ^^
Jahari: Starting the explosions early, eh?
Shelti: =D You know it.
I was so embarrassed.
Aku: She was only wearing her underwear, and people were starting to stare.
People were whispering
Shelti: Like this! *whispers* OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE HER SHE WAS SO STRANGE – ow!
Aku: *puts away baseball bat* Don't shout.
and I could make a few guesses why, I’m Rouge Arroyo
Shelti: Rouge means red.
Jahari: Okay... who names their kid "Red"?
Shelti: ^_^ I now dub you, Rouge Arroyo... RED!!
I was in my 6th year at Catsburg Schools For The Gifted Minds,
Jahari: Sounds like an X-Men school.
Aku: O_O Harry Potter/X-Men?? Who thinks up these things?!
but since my mother died my dad got a new job in England.
Shelti: As an encyclopaedia salesman.
I’m a seer and a Animagi,
Shelti: *gasp* *points* SUETRAITS! SUETRAITS!
Shelti: When they have more than one powerful, defining characteristic, it's a Suetrait. There are exceptions, but that's a general rule.
I have really light aqua eyes that there so light that they look like there glowing.
Jahari: Does that make any sense? No.
I have two big white streaks in the front of my reddish brownish hair,
Aku: Oh my god, it IS an X-Men crossover! She looks like Rogue!
Shelti: Red is Rogue? Interesting...
and I dress like a Goth.
Jahari: Which means... what, exactly?
Shelti: No one knows....
And I can turn into a snowy white wolf.
Shelti: SELF-INSERTION. Another Suetrait. *checks it off the list*
Anyway, I’m walking down to get sorted into my house.
Aku: In Catsburg? But isn't she in her sixth year?
Aku: So do they switch houses every year or something?
Shelti: Actually, I think she's a transfer student. This is Hogwarts.
Aku: Ah. Be nice if they TOLD us that....
I sit on the stool and a professor put the sorting hat on my head. “Ahhhhh
Jahari: Our thoughts exactly.
a seer this ones going to be difficult..
Shelti: ...to KILL. But we shall do it ANYWAY! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
...a lot of knowledge I see- not a bad mind either-plenty of courage..
Jahari: This sounds suspiciously like what the Hat said to Harry.
...but I’ll put you..........RAVENCLAW!!!!!!!
Shelti: NOT Gryffindor?! Oh my GOD!! Something original!!
Aku: I sense sarcasm.
Shelti: You bet.
Some people clapped
All: *golf claps*
but I didn’t care, I sat down and took out my Divination book while Dumbledore made a speech.
Aku: Oh, that's nice. Ignore the wise old man.
Jahari: At least she spelled his name right.
Divination is my favorite subject along with Potions and Defents Against the Dark Arts.
Jahari: What's "Defents"?
Shelti: I think it's like defense... only different.
Jahari: Ah. Everything makes sense now.
After Dumbledore was done the food arrived.
Shelti: ^_^ *sings* FOOD! Glorious FOOD!
I had just picked up my fork when I had a vision,
Shelti: *gasp* She's channeling Raven!
Shelti: ...random Disney reference. Never mind.
Jahari: As in James?
Shelti: Time-period: Marauders. Good to know.
I think we found us a person to prank on, look at her she’s a freak,”
Jahari: Nice guy.
said a guy that she found out was named Sirius Black.
Aku: And we suddenly switch to third-person.
“Yeah, tomorrow lets do some of are best pranks on her!” Said a guy named James Potter.
Shelti: And we now see that the authoress really doesn't like the Marauders much... or she's building up to a warm-up romance.
Jahari: Neither of which are very appealing.
“Give her a break you guys it’s her first day,”
Aku: And common sense finally comes in! We needed someone to say it...
Said Remus Lupin.
Shelti: ^_^ YAY REMUS!!
“Yeah,” said a chubby boy Peter Petegrew.
Jahari: Pete grew? What did Pete grow?
“What she’s a freak and nobody will care anyway,”
Jahari: O_o; I just have one question: why do these guys think she's a freak? And when were they so prejudiced and just plain mean?
Aku: Since they were replaced by clones made to look like, but not act like, them.
“Okayyyy,” Lupin said slowly.
Shelti: *gasp* No! Remus! Don't give in to the idiocy!
I sat there frozen;
Jahari: Gotta love them Freezing Charms.
I didn’t even eat my dinner.
Aku: ^_^ So she'll starve to death! Yay!
Please Please Review it will get better(!
Jahari: I seriously doubt that.
Shelti: I'll believe it when I see it.
Aku: Then here's your chance – the next chapter is coming.... now.
2. New Friend, New Laughs, and New Enemies
After dinner the Ravenclaw prefect lead everyone upstairs.
Jahari: Including the Slytherins.
Shelti: (Draco Malfoy) AHAHA! I HAVE YOUR SECRET!!!
I went to bed furious,
Aku: *blink* Why? Because she was shown to her room? Weird thing to be angry about...
I hadn’t done anything to them
Jahari: I just ate the heads off of their pet kittens... nothing to be mad about, really...
and they were already judging me!
Shelti: ...oh... she's referring to the prank planning by our dear jerk Marauders.
As I berried my head
Shelti: XD So what'd she do, cover it in strawberries?
into the sheets I heard all the girls as they passed by whisper and I knew it was about me.
Aku: Not everything is about, you, dear, you know.
Jahari: Yes. It's all about ME! ^^
The next morning I went down to eat breakfast before Charms.
It was very uncomfortable eating at the end of the table and everyone at the other trying to stay as far away from me.
Shelti: (random student) Should we TELL her she's on fire?
Jahari: (random student) Nah, she'll figure it out. ...Eventually.
But then a girl came over and sat right next to me.
“Hi, I’m Katrina,”
Jahari: ^_^ HI!
Katrina must be a very nice girl to come talk to me when no one else would,
Aku: ...and we randomly switch into present tense.
she was also very pretty she had curly black hair and grey eyes, and had a very pretty smile,
Shelti: Usually in Suefics, this much attention is given to only two kinds of people: the lust object and, sometimes, another Sue.
Jahari: I'm guessing this is the other Sue...
Aku: Nah, she's the lust object. Gotta love them yuri Sues.
Shelti: ...I don't think so, dear. Sorry.
but then Rouge recognized that Katrina was in her dormitory.
Aku: SEE? Lust object!
Jahari: oo; And we randomly switch into third person.
“I was going to talk to you yesterday but you seemed slightly angry,”
All: *dripping with sarcasm* No, REALLY?
“Oh sorry if I scared you off,” “Oh no, I’d be angry to if nobody was talking to me, and by the way I love the way you put your eye liner on, not all girls can pull a mysteries look,” Katrina said pointing out my black liner.
Aku: Well, at least they got the whole "female talking" thing down.
Aku: ^_^ It's authentic! Women switch subjects in the middle of sentences all the time.
Shelti: >_> We do not!
Aku: Well, you don't.
Jahari: No, you switch subjects in the middle of WORDS.
The rest of breakfast was spent talking to Katrina; it was nice having a person around who likes talking to you.
Shelti: Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Katrina and I set of for Charms together, but Rouge’s
Jahari: Ack! The POV switch again!
happiness turned into
“So, what’s it like being a seer and am animagi
Shelti: You know, that really should be capitalised...
...Rouge what’s wrong?”
Jahari: (Rouge) I just realised... I'm LOST. O_O Who're you, again?
Rouge had just spotted the Marauders coming into the classroom, but she wasn’t the only one to spot something. Sirius was looking around when he spotted Rouge
Aku: Is it a BAD thing when the author uses the same verb three times in two sentences?
and whispered to the others, and sure enough they sat right behind her.
Jahari: ^_^ Aw, they like her!
“Rouge what’s wrong?” Rouge leaned close and whispered so only Katrina could hear,
Aku: (Rouge) *whispering* I love you.
“Last night I was angry
Jahari: We noticed.
because I had a vision and they were saying they were going to try and pull pranks on me and....” But before she could say anymore Katrina was giving them dirty looks
Shelti: Oh, give it a rest already...
and slowly pulling out her wand.
Shelti: Not THAT kind of wand...
Jahari: (Austin Powers) She's a MAN, baby, YEAH!
Shelti: *palmface* You two are hopeless.
Rouge looked back and she could her every word,
Jahari: She could... what?
Shelti: ^_^ Feel free to fill in the blank!
Aku: She could [censored].
“lets make her inflated,” James said. “No lets make her turn snow white it will match her hair,” said Sirius.
Shelti: No, let's roast her slowly and then garnish her with parsley.
Jahari: No, let's deep-fry her and cover her in tartar sauce.
Aku: NO! Let's BARBEQUE her!
Shelti and Jahari: BOO-YEAH!
“Brilliant, now Remus, raise your hand so Professor Flitwick will be distracted,
Shelti: FLITWICK IS A PERVY WEREWOLF FANCIER.
so you guys wands at the ready.” And sure enough Remus raised his hand, then Rouge understood what the mirror was for.
Jahari: *blink* What mirror? Where?
Shelti: *sings* See that pretty girl in that mirror there!
Then in a split second A white spark came out of there wands, and at the same time Katrina wiped out her mirror.
Jahari: With Windex. Everything can be fixed with Windex. Or duct tape.
The sparks bounced of the mirror hitting Black right in the face
Aku: That would cause him to turn white... so Black is white now?
Shelti: He's Michael Jackson! O_O
Katrina had just saved me from humiliation.
Jahari: *twitchy* And we're back to first person! CHOOSE A POV AND STICK WITH IT, DAMMIT!
A Big thanks to Star of the Muses for the advice and to Eyes of Smoke for Reviewing please review again on this chapter!
All: Hmm... naaaaaah.