Shelti: And this, my dear Ky, is the MST Theater.
Ky: *looks around* Ooh...Aah...
Jahari: Very spiffy, isn't it?
Ky: *sits down* So, do we get popcorn and a soda, too?
Shelti: *sits* Mmm-hmm. Jahari...
Jahari: *passes out popcorn and soda* Here ya go! *sits* Ky: ^_^ Yay, popcorn! *starts eating* So..Do the words just appear on screen?
Jahari: And we make fun of them! =D And after that, I get to have lunch.
Ky: All right, doesn't sound too painful. So what are we MSTing?
Shelti: *dramatically* A ... *drumroll* Star Wars/Lord of the Rings crossover.
Ky: O_O You're kidding! Funny, I didn't think that was possible.
Shelti: Neither did I.
Jahari: But it is.
Shelti: And there are several.
Ky: *twitch* Well...Shall we start, then?
Shelti: Yup. *calls up* Do your thing, Tom!
Tom: *cackles evilly*
Tom: ...*does his thing*
Shelti: Another muse. My projector guy.
Ky: *nod* Ah.
(The fic starts rolling.)
A Hidden SkywalkerShi's Journey
Shelti: Two titles for the price of one!
Ky: *snort* Original.
Jahari: What, she can't tell who she is?
Ky: Riveting. *yawn*
"Wow!" Jessi exclaimed.
"I can't believe it's finally my 13th birthday!!"
Jahari: *monotone* Neither can we.
Ky: Seemed like only yesterday I was outside making mud cakes....Wait. That /was/ yesterday.
Jessi was really excited!
Shelti: Sheesh, apparently! Look at all those exclamation points.
Ky: I think! She likes using! Exclamation marks!
Shelti: No! Kidding!
She was going to the mall today with 3
Shelti: Rabid squirrels!
of her closest friends.
Madeline, Julianne, and Kathleen.
Ky: Let me guess....They were all beautiful, young, oh-so-talented, rich...
Shelti: SENTENCE FRAGMENT!!
They were going to go to Annapolis Mall first and go shopping and then go to get their nails done in Arundel Mills Mall and then go to Jillian's.
Jahari: Woah! Take a breath!
Ky: *twitch* It's called the "comma."
She knew today would change her life and be important but she didn't have any idea how much her life would change or how important that day would be.
Ky: ....Say what? Ok...She's saying that she knew this day would change her life....But she didn't know how much. Is that it?
Shelti: I believe so.
She jumped out of bed she turned on her Avril Levigne CD and turned it to Skaterboy.
Ky: *twitch twitch* And they spell it "Sk8r Boi," so there.
Then she sang along as she got dressed in her dark blue flares with black stripes from Hot Topic and her black spaghetti strap tank top and grabbed her black Linkin Park sweatshirt from Hot Topic.
Jahari: The clothes. A classic Suetrait.
Ky: *twitch* Must they always give descriptions of what they wear?
Shelti: Product placement!
Then she pulled on some socks and her Vans.
Ky: Ooh, that's exciting.
Shelti: She was wearing cars?
Ky: Really, what moron would name a type of shoes "Vans"?
As she ran downstairs in her Severna Park home she popped her head in her sisters room.
Ky: ...Wait. Her sister's room is on the stairs, then?
Shelti: I guess so.
Ky: Interesting. o_O;
Shelti: Kinda like the cupboard under the stairs, I suppose.
Her sister, Jenni, was still in bed.
Jahari: Smart girl!
Ky: Wow, this story is just oh-so-exciting, full of adventure...*yawns*
Jessi ran in and yelled "GET UP JENNI!!!"
Ky: *snort* Sweet girl.
then her sister sat up in bed.
Ky: *throws confetti in air* Woohoo.
she yelled back as Jessi ran out of the room.
Ky:...I like Jenni.
Jenni was 16 and three years older than Jessi.
Ky: Wow, she can actually do math?
Shelti: Because Jessi is thirteen!
She grumbled as she got out of bed and got dressed.
Jahari: Boy, we don't know anyone like that at aaaaall.... *points to Shelti*
Shelti: Stow it, Fuzz-boy.
Jahari: Stop calling me that!
Ky: *giggle* Fuzz-boy?
Jahari: -_-;; Yes. Why is beyond me.
Ky: *pats Jahari on the head* Cute lil Fuzz-boy.
Jessi waited at the table until Jenni sat down with her coffee and both of her parents nodded and she teared at the nearest present.
Shelti: COMMAS! USE THEM!
Ky: *twitch* The author needs to be put through English class again, that's for sure.
Jahari: Coffee! =D
It was a Cell Phone.
Jahari: And random capitalisation strikes again!
Ky: Wow, you mean she didn't have one already?
"Yes!" Jessi exclaimed.
Then she set it down and turned to the next present.
Ky: Which just so happened to be a bomb.
Shelti: Don't we wish.
Ky: --; Indeed.
It was Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
Ky: Yoda, the jumping flea!
Jahari: Do NOT insult Yoda. Yoda rocks.
Shelti: Yes he does.
Ky: All right, all right.
Jessi was a major Star Wars fan.
Shelti: She's not the only one! =D
Ky: Not the only one by far.
Jahari: *waves Yoda flag*
Ky: *waves a "LotR kicks Star Wars' butt" flag*
Shelti: There is no comparison, dear.
As she opened the rest of the presents she got clothes and money.
Ky: *rolls eyes* Descriptive, and highly original.
The last present she opened was two similar shaped packages.
Ky: Wow. That was just /so/ original and captivating that I just can't wait to find out what they are.
They were two green toy lightsabers.
Ky: *snort* A bit old to be playing with toy lightsabers, isn't she?
By the time her and her mom left for the mall (her sister and dad had work) she had a cell phone, 10 new tops, 2 toy lightsabers, and $200 in birthday money as well as $50 in saved up money.
Ky: Yup, she's a rich girl. They always are.
When they walked into the mall Jessi, Madeline, Julianne, and Kathleen turned to Jessi's mom.
Ky: ..Wait. Where'd her friends come from?
Shelti: Thin air.
"Meet me at the food court by the bathrooms at 10 AM ok?"
Shelti: *sarcastically* No, 10 PM.
Jahari: When did they arrive? By my observations of the female and/or Sue shopping habits, they need at least two hours to do anything.
Ky: And malls never open that early. So we'll just pretend this mall is like a 7-11: open 24/7.
She said. "Ok mom" said Jessi "we'll call you if we need to." "Bye" "Bye".
Ky: *twitch* And how old is this author?
Shelti: WHAT? Put NEW PARAGRAPHS between people speaking!!!
Ky: Yup, this author really needs to go through English class again.
Then they headed toward Hot Topic.
Ky: Of course. The store of punk wannabes.
Once they got there they headed inside.
Jahari: ...That was completely pointless.
"Michael!" Called Jessi once she spotted her boyfriend.
Shelti: He likes her! Mikey likes her!
Jahari: ...Don't do that.
Ky: o_O; Won't ask.
"Hey Jess." He said as he walked up to them.
Ky: *yawn* Yup, such an exciting story..
Sup?" "Its my b-day! That's what's up!" Jessi exclaimed.
Ky: Wouldn't her boyfriend know that, and already have flowers and a present ready for her?
Shelti: Bad boyfriend.
Michael just laughed and Julianne said "Lets shop!" "Okay!" Jessi, Madeline and Kathleen said.
Jahari: *big yawn*
Ky: *props leg up, munches on popcorn* So, how have you two been? Not too busy, I hope?
Shelti: Oh, we've been ok! Just the usual Sue-capturing and experimenting, really, and I've been working on my designs. 'Hari here has had fun with the Sues as well, you know.
Ky: Ah, good, good. ^_^
Shelti: You see, I feed him off of some of the Sues sometimes...
Tom: LESS CHATTING. MORE RIFFING. NOW!
Ky: Aw, poo. You're no fun, Tom.
Tom: That's my job.
Ky: Sucky job. I pity you.
While they were in Hot Topic Jessi bought some elbow length gloves w/ the Fingers cut off.
Ky: I'm sure those have names, you know.. Yup, they're called armwarmers.
Shelti: I didn't know that. Cool.
A black laced up pair and a Black & White horizontal stripe pair.
Shelti: *twitch* SENTENCE FRAGMENT!
Ky: .....Ooohhh, it's a description of the armwarmers....That would be really confusing to someone who didn't know she was talking about armwarmers.
She also bought some new dark pants like the ones she was wearing.
Jahari: Now, if she already had a pair, why did she buy another one?
Ky: Even though she has $250, stuff from Hot Topic is really expensive...She can't have much money left.
By the time they left Hot Topic she had $180.70.
Ky: *crosses arms* She should have a lot less.
Next they went to weathervane where Jessi bought some black pants and baby blue pants.
Jahari: Lucifer, this is boring.
Ky: *yawn* I'd rather watch grass grow. I'm ashamed to say I actually want the Mary Sue-ing to come in. Then at least we'd have fun making fun of it. This is just....boring.
When they left there she had $151.30. They also went to Forever 21 and she got some shirts. After Forever 21 they went to go and get Ice Cream.
Shelti: Ice cream! Yum.
Ky: She sure has a problem with capitalization, and lack thereof.
Jahari: Random capitalisation!
While they were walking to go get Ice Cream Jessi felt something big would happen soon. She had no idea how big.
Ky: Wow, she's psychic. *rolls eyes*
Then they ordered their Ice Cream and they all sat down at a table.
Jahari: Thrill as they SIT DOWN!
Shelti: Ice cream! ^_^
Ky: Man, this story just grabs your attention...*nodding off*
As they sat down Jessi looked around. As she looked back in the direction they had come into the food court she saw two men walking exactly in the direction they had.
Shelti: Oooooh, now it gets exciting...
Ky: Two men walking in the direction they had....How ODD! Despite the fact that it's a MALL, and people are walking in every which way...
Step. For. Step.
Shelti: Is that another store?
Ky: Ok, that's unbelievably stupid.
Shelti: Me or the story?
Ky: The story.
The younger one looked like he was about 19-20 and the other looked like he was in his early thirties late twenties.
Jahari: Who are they?
Shelti: Gee, I wonder.
When she thought about it the younger one had his hair up like a Jedi Padawan learner and the older had his hair done like a Jedi Knights.
Shelti: There's a Star Wars convention in the mall?
They also looked strangely familiar.
Shelti: She met them in that other Star Wars convention last month.
When Jessi turned back to her Ice Cream she had a troubled look on her face because she felt the two men were following them.
Ky: *Jessi* Oh no. Two random men, walking in the mall. THEY MUST BE FOLLOWING ME!
"What's wrong Jess?" asked Michael when he saw her face.
Ky: (Jessi) I'm stuck in a Godawful story.
Jahari: (Michael) OH MY GOD! Your FACE! What's wrong with it?
Ky: (Jessi) Well, when I was a baby my dad poured hot coffee all over my face...
"Oh its nothing. Its just those two guys over there" she said as she nodded in the men's direction "It looks like they're following us."
Ky:....How the hell can she tell?! *twitch*
Shelti: (Jessi) Oh, it's nothing. I'm just being STALKED!
When she said this Michael looked in their direction squinted a bit, Muttered "Weak human eyes" and then smiled and nodded.
Shelti: WHAT the...?
Jahari: Yes... weak human eyes... only good for spreading on toast...
Shelti: ...Don't do that.
Ky:....Ew, Jahari. o_O;
"What?" asked Jessi quizzically, "I dunno. What do you think guys?" he asked Julianne, Madeline, and Kathleen.
Shelti: Who's talking?
Ky: Actually, they're girls.
Jahari: Is she a boy now?
Ky:...Sex changing-ice cream?
Then they all looked over smiled and nodded. When Jessi looked back over at the guys it looked like the older one saluted and the younger one waved.
Then she heard herself say "Puny human eyes."
Ky: o_O;; Ok..
Jahari: Yes... puny human eyes...
Shelti: *slaps hand over Jahari's mouth* Don't.
Before she could say anything else Jessi looked at her cell phones clock and said " we have to go and meet mom."
Shelti: ...But she just said something... and it says she didn't say anything else... CONFUZZLING!
When they got to Arundel Mills Mall the girls headed straight to the nail salon while Michael headed to Jillian's.
Shelti: He's a cross-dresser!
Jahari: Boy, they sure head a lot in this, don't they?
While they were in The Nail Salon they got their nails done according to their lightsabers though Jessi didn't know it. Jessi got both hands with French sparkle nails but the sparkles were green on both hands. Maddy usually held her hilt in her left hand with the blade by her right hand for a beginning stance so her left nails were French silver sparkle and her right hand nails were blue sparkle. Julianne usually held her green lightsaber in her right hand withthe blade by her left hand so her nails were the opposite sides than Maddy's but her left nails had green sparkle. Kathleen held hers above her head with her right pointer finger and thumb by the blade so her nails were mostly silver sparkle except for her right pointer finger and thumb which were blue.
Ky: All right...Suddenly they're Jedi? How'd this happen?
Jahari: No idea.
When they came out of the nail salon they headed straight for Jillian's.
Shelti: What is Jillian's, anyway?
Ky: *shrug* We'll find out.
They met Michael at the table and then played some games. All of the games gave out tickets.
Shelti: Oh, it's an arcade...
Ky:...They played some games. That's supposed to mean something to us..
The prize Jessi had her eye on was a bow and arrow set. It was special though because it came with a quiver holder that the bow and arrows went in.
Ky: Gasp. Really?
Jahari: It's simply called a QUIVER. All the rest is unnecessary.
It also looked elvish to her.
Jahari: AH! *hides under chair*
Ky: *snort* Oh please...Well we know who she's going to be paired up with.
Ky: o_O; What's wrong?
Shelti: Calm DOWN, silly, it's a STORY. It won't hurt you.
Jahari: Says YOU!
Shelti: ...Besides, I doubt it's silver and carved with an omega. She's not THAT smart.
Jahari: Oh. Ok, then. *sits back on chair*
Ky:...o_O;; Once again, I won't ask..
Shelti: An Elven silver dagger carved with the symbol of the omega would kill him if he were stabbed with it. And Elves in general scare him.
Ky:...Oh..*pats Jahari on the head*
It cost 1000 tickets.
Shelti: *sings* If I had 1000 tickets, if I had 1000 tickets...
First Jessi raced against Michael in the podracing.
Shelti: They have a podracing game?
Ky:...That's pretty cool, actually.
Shelti: THEY HAVE A PODRACING GAME!!! ^___^
Although they were both Jedi and getting their Jedi abilities back she had the upper hand because podracing ran in the family.
Shelti: ...What? They were? She did?
Ky: *snort* Uh HUH...So they're just suddenly Jedi-people. Right. That's totally believable. *rolls eyes*
Jessi won and played all of her friends.
Ky: *big yawn*
Shelti: Oh, that was real nice of her. Don't cheat and drive!
She won every race.
Jahari: *monotone* Congrats.
Ky: *rolls eyes* Wow, what a surprise...
After she got off of that she grabbed her tickets from there.
Shelti: Oh, I'll tell HER where to get off...
Ky: *monotone* Wow....this....is...so..exciting...*falls asleep*
There were 900 of them!
Shelti: How... nice... *fall asleep beside Ky*
"Yes!" she exclaimed after counting them "Only 100 more to go!" after that she played another STAR WARS game and won 100 tickets.
Ky: She seriously counted them all? o_o;
Jahari: FORESHADOWING. And convinient ticket supply. ...Say, you're awake.
Then she went and got the bow and arrow set.
Jahari: And I'll go get mine.
Ky: You know, the pink pretty set, with flowers and hearts. *gag*
The next thing they did was drive to Kinder
Ky: What moron would name a park "Kinder Park"?
They walked out on a secluded dirt path to the middle of a meadow on a hill.
Jahari: Large hill.
Ky: That makes...no sense.
Jessi had her bow and arrow set on her back and her lightsabers on her belt.
Jahari: Dude, where'd she get the lightsabres?
Tom: DUDE?! And also, she got those toys, remember?
Ky: *yawn* Once again....how....exciting....*starts nodding*
She was wearing a belly top that was black and had triangle sleeves.
Jahari: *rolls eyes* Here we go again.
Ky: Wait. How'd they change clothes?
She was wearing the same Hot Topic pants and her Vans.
Jahari: She's still wearing cars!
Ky: So how'd her shirt change? *blink*
She stood in the middle of the hill on the very top as the clock struck noon.
Ky:...That makes absolutely no sense! Woo!
Jahari: HOLY SPIRITS! She did all her shopping at WARP SPEED or something??
Ky: Yeah, what happened to meeting her mom?
Then she closed her eyes and the changes began.
Jahari: *hums 'Jeopardy'*
Ky: *starts nodding off*
As the changes started her friends formed a circle around her.
Jahari: Oh, they're still there?
Ky: So what exactly are these "changes"? Hmm?
The two strangers from the mall joined the circle as the changes continued.
Jahari: Strangers? Where? Who?
Ky: You know, the two Star Wars nerds that were stalking them.
Then she opened her eyes and was Shi Skywalker.
Jahari: ...Anakin's mum? No, wait that was Shmi... Anakin's mum's typo twin?
Ky: Shi....Anakin's mom's evil twin sister?
Jahari: Hey, that's the end of the first chapter! I thought it would NEVER end.
Ky: WOO! Are we done?
Jahari: No. -_- We've got four more to go. But we can take a break if you want. I should wake up the boss here.
Ky: Oh. Damn. Can I go get my headphones and Gameboy, then?
Jahari: Sure. *calls up* Open the pod bay doors, HAL!
Tom: You're worse than I am.
(The theater doors open.)
Jahari: Be quick.
Ky: Gotcha. *runs out*