- You have to stop living like this! You have to grow up and take responsibility!
Heís leaving, heís gone.
Just because of some stupid alcohol!
- Benji, wake up!
You moaned, trying to move away from me.
- Howís he doing? Billy asked. He was standing behind me, trying to look over my shoulder at the pathetic pile on the ground that was you.
- Heís alive anyway, I answered. He has to stop this drinking, I mumbled to myself.
Two seconds later came Tony running towards us, just dressed in his boxers.
- You found him!? he said trying to catch his breath.
- Yeah, why?
- Fuck, I must learn to behave myselfÖhe sat down at the ground beside you wrapping his arms around you, whispering things to you that we couldnít hear. At first you did some very unsuccessful tries to move out of his embrace, but soon you rested your head against his shoulder, too weak too do anything about it. It was almost a beautiful to see you sit there, if the situation had been something else.
Kind words spoken in my earÖ I love you too.
I sat in the front of the bus, trying to look like I was playing a video game. From the back I heard Tonyís soft voice talk to you. Trying to make you understand the things I couldnít make you do. Hopefully you would listen more to him than to me.
- I canít, I sobbed.
- You have to, please do it for me!
- Iíll try.
- But you cannot just try, you have to believe in it to do it.
- I know. But I will do an honest try, I donít want to live like this anymore.
- Are you sure?
- I donít want to end up like dad!
- Thatís my boy! he bended over and gave me a kiss.
Itís a long time of struggling. You didnít end up like dad, because you are the strong one. I never think I could do what you did. But much of it did you make only because Tony was by your side all he time. I have to admit that I first saw him as slightly cruel guy, I never thought that he would stick by your side as he did. But he has proven me wrong.
And here we are, years after, and heís still by your side. But now itís more likely you who takes care of him.
I never have seen you this happy before, because the only thing that could make you happy is to have him close to you.
I kiss him. A small but still existing taste of alcohol in his mouth gives him away. I try to give him an angry look without destroying the moment. Iím not letting him do the same thing as I did.
And behind his back I see you smiling at us. You look so lonely form inside this hug. You know I always will love you too, Joel.