A gay guy walks into a butcher shop and asks for their biggest stick of salami. The butcher brings it out and starts cutting it up.

The man is furious and says, "Does my ass look like a piggy bank to you?!?"

Joke#2:A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. The father asked him if he had jumped.

"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"

"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.

"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."

"Did you jump then?" asked the father.

"I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."

"So, did you jump?"

"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, `Boy, are you gonna jump or not?' I said, `No, sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball bat! He said, `Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this little baby up your ass.'"

"So, did you jump?" asked the father.

"Well, a little, at first, but then I got used to it."

Joke #3:A very thirsty guy realizes that he's just walked into a gay bar. He thinks, "What the hell, I really want a drink."

A gay waiter swishes up to him and says, "What's the name of your penis?"

The customer is shocked and says, "Look, I'm just not into that. All I want is a drink."

The waiter winks at him and says, "I'm sorry, honey, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis."

So the customer says, "All right, what's the name of YOUR penis?"

The waiter replies, "Well I call mine Timex, because it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin."

So the guy thinks about it for a couple of minutes and still can't come up with anything. So he asks the guy next to him his dick's name.

"I call mine Ford, because it's built ram tough. Have you driven a Ford lately?"

The customer thinks for a moment and says, "The name of my penis is Secret."

"Secret?" says the waiter, confused.

The customer says, "Yeah... strong enough for a man, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!"

Joke #4:Q. What's the difference between Elton John and Tarzan?

A.Tarzan has a dick.

Joke #5:What do a gay guy and an oven have in common?

They both brown your meat!

Joke #6:Jack comes home from school with a great big smile on his face.

His mom asks him, “Why was he so happy?”

Jack replies, "I just had sex today!"

Well this does not sit well with mom, she immediately begins shouting at Jack, telling him at 14 he has no business having sex! She tells him to go to his room and to wait for his dad to come home. When dad finally arrives, mom fills him in. She asks him to go upstairs and to have a chat with Jack. He knocks on the door and proceeds to go in.

"Hey Jack, your mom tells me you had sex today?"

"Yes," replies Jack sadly.

Dad looks around the room and whispers to him, "Hey, way to go, son! Your Dad is very, very proud. But if your mom asks what we talked about just tell her it was guy stuff."

The next day, dad shares the news with all his coworkers, bragging that at the age of 14 his son is a man! When dad goes home that night, he kisses his wife and runs straight upstairs to see Jack.

"Hey Jack! Did you have sex today again, son?"

Jack replies "No dad...my ass still hurts from yesterday."

Joke # 7:Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!"

"What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?"

"No," says Johnny. "It's salty."